Highland Blood

Chapter 2

“Cerridwen?” Epona whispered softly. She lifted me gently, guiding me with soft hands toward her house.

I shuddered when she touched me.

“Cerridwen?”

I wanted to answer her, but I just couldn’t.

Epona directed me inside then sat me down on a stool before the fire.

Wordlessly, she set an extra log on the fire while I stared absently into the glowing embers, my body trembling uncontrollably. I could hear Epona gathering jars from her cupboard. She appeared before me a few moments later.

“You’re injured. May I tend to your wounds?” she asked carefully.

I nodded mutely. My mind was spinning around and around. What had happened? Had that actually happened? My mind and body felt disconnected. I stared into the fire, stunned into disbelief.

“We need to get this dress off you. You’ll take a chill. And it’s…ruined.”

She took my bag from me and set it aside. When she went to take the coin purse from my hand, however, I didn’t let go. I held the proof in my hand, proof that the nightmare was real, proof that beyond all chance I had met my cousin in the woods, and he had violated me. If not for the coin pouch, I would not have believed my own mind.

Gently, Epona pulled my dress off then wrapped a heavy bear fur around me. Then she began washing me. First, she washed my face. I could see her eyes studying me, but I felt as if I had gone off to some strange place. An overwhelming sense of numbness shattered me. Epona’s touch, which had always been warm and comforting, felt strange. I wanted to push her away, but I forced myself to be calm. In my heart, I knew I was with someone who loved and cared for me. I was safe. But still, I could barely abide it. I shut off my feelings and stared into the fire. My head felt woozy. Sweat trickled my forehead, and I felt myself swoon. A sharp pain shot through my head.

Strange images appeared before my eyes. I saw Banquo on a battlefield before a large army, rousing the assembly to war. And then I saw the raven-haired man from the cauldron. He was sitting on the throne of Scone. He smiled at me, but then his eyes turned to someone at my side. I looked down to see I was holding the hand of a small boy around six years old. He smiled up at me, his curly mop of dark hair sweetly framing his face, offsetting his pale blue eyes.

I gasped and rose.

“Cerridwen?”

“Bring me the blue flask,” I said with urgency, grabbing Epona by the shoulders. “Now! Epona! Bring me the blue flask,” I said, shaking her. When Gwendelofar had first revealed she was pregnant, Epona had offered her a concoction of herbs to rid herself of the child. The brew had been kept in a blue flask.

The vision. The strange sensation that had overcome me. I knew then, without a doubt, I was carrying Duncan’s seed.

“Cerridwen,” Epona said, looking me deep in the eyes. “Sit,” she said, lowering me back onto my seat. She covered me with the fur once more. Epona then kneeled on the floor before me and closed her eyes. She was saying an incantation. I could just catch the words she recited. But more than that, I saw the glow that suddenly surrounded her. After a moment, she became silent, and the glow faded.

“Yes. You are with child.” Once more, she took my hand. Gently, she took the coin pouch. It was stained with my blood. I heard her inhale sharply when she saw the insignia on the bag. “Duncan?”

“Yes,” I whispered.

“He travels south after his meetings with the lords in the north,” Epona said. “The blue flask…a child is but an innocent thing. Tidings that begin as foul can become fair. Wash the memory of what has happened from your mind. You are to be wed within the fortnight. Take your new husband to bed right away. No one will ever know.”

“I can’t betray Banquo like that,” I replied. “I will tell him the truth.”

“Banquo?”

“Sid said my marriage is confirmed.”

“It is. To Gillacoemgain of Moray.”

“Gillacoemgain of Moray!” My mind raced back in time to a conversation I’d once shared with Banquo who’d mentioned Gillacoemgain had taken power in Moray. Madelaine, as well, had once listed him as a man who might seek to take my hand.

Epona pushed my hair away from my face. “Malcolm has agreed to wed you to Moray. The matter is settled.”

“But Epona, Banquo and I are soul-bound!”

“So Cerridwen and Banquo may be, but the law of the land has decreed the daughter of Boite shall marry the Mormaer of Moray.”

I shook my head. “I will not.”

“You must. You have no choice. Will you deny Moray for Lochaber and start a war in the process? Will you condemn the man you love?”

“No, it’s just…”

“A marriage by law.”

“My marriage to Gillacoemgain is a betrayal of my ties to Banquo under the eyes of the old gods.”

“And how do you intend to explain that to Gillacoemgain? To King Malcolm? They will put your druid’s head on a spike.”

She was right. I knew it. I just couldn’t bear it. “Epona,” I breathed, then looked down at the coin purse. “In the fire…I saw Duncan’s child.”

Epona looked into the flames then shook her head. “Perhaps you did. But the Great Mother has shown me more. I’ve seen two children.”

“Children? Twins?”

Epona nodded then said, “They are your children, my girl. They are yours, not his.”

“The blue flask—”

“No,” Epona said. “You are stronger than that.”

“I don’t know if I can—“

“You can. You must. Gillacoemgain will never know. Let all the world rejoice when you have given heirs to Moray.”

“But Epona,” I cried, and this time I spoke the truth, “how can I love such children created by violence? Won’t I despise them for how they took root in me? Will I look into their eyes and forever remember?” I shuddered.

“They are innocent. They are nothing more than flowers blooming in your womb. Will you weed them? They belong to no one but you.”

“Epona, I don’t know if I can…” I began to protest, but then I thought of the way the child in my vision had looked at me. He’d beamed up at me with pure love in his eyes.

“Promise me you will come here when the children are born. Promise me,” Epona said.

“Of course,” I replied, but I was so confused. What had happened? What was happening to me? First Duncan…now, Gillacoemgain of Moray? “Epona, where is Banquo?”

Epona shook her head. “I don’t know. I haven’t seen him for many months.” Epona wore a strange expression on her face. Suddenly, I was very certain she wasn’t telling me something.

“What is it?”

“Please forgive me. I…” Epona said then paused. “When Banquo came last, he demanded to know your whereabouts. He spoke of seeing you in the flames, in the dark places. I believe he left here under the impression you were lost to the otherworld, that you would not return.”

“And you let him believe that?”

“I thought it best. I know how much you loved one another, but that fate is not meant to be. I wanted to make it easier for him. For you. I thought, perhaps, if he believed you were lost then he could move on. And, with him doing so, it would make it easier for you upon your return. There was never any hope for your marriage to Lochaber. I’m sorry, Cerridwen. I hoped to make the separation easier.”

“How could you?” I whispered.

“My child, Gillacoemgain of Moray waits for you at Madelaine’s keep. You must put Banquo from your mind. Please listen to my counsel in this. For Gillacoemgain. For you. For the seeds you carry. For Banquo. Cerridwen’s time is done. Gruoch must return. You have duties. For the good of the realm, you must attend them. The Goddess needs you in this world now. She needs Gruoch.”

Her words were an echo of Andraste’s…Andraste who had warned of the wickedness that would cross my path. Had she known?

“And where was my goddess when I was face down in the mud?” I asked, looking once more at the coin purse. My body shook, and I tried to push the memories away.

“Still within you. Vengeance can be yours, but it is Gruoch, not Cerridwen, who will see to that.”

I stared at the flames, and this time I saw my hands clutching a dagger, blood dripping from my fingers.

From deep within me, the raven called.