Chapter 18

That night, the entire household feasted on Gillacoemgain’s deer and blueberry bread. I found Thora lying under Eochaid’s feet at the servants’ end of the table when I came to the boy with a tart wrapped in cloth.

“For later,” I told him, slipping him the pastry.

“Many thanks, M’Lady,” he said with a smile.

“The thanks go to you,” I said then added, “and your friend. Does he have a name?”

Eochaid tipped his head as if to listen, like I’d seen Sid do so many times. The gesture seemed like a mirror of my old friend. “He says I can tell. He’s named Eitri.”

“Then many thanks to my good neighbor as well.”

Eochaid smiled.

“And you, little lady, where have you been? Too busy hunting rabbits to check on your mistress?”

Thora rolled on her back to reveal a very full stomach. She wagged her tail, her tongue hanging out of the corner of her mouth. “Silly girl,” I told her. “Just stay out of trouble.”

After the meal was finished and the fire had died down, Gillacoemgain and I worked slowly upstairs to our chamber on the highest floor in the castle. After having to stop three times so I could catch my breath, Gillacoemgain shook his head.

“No more of this. Tomorrow, I’ll have a bedchamber on the first floor prepared for you. It’s too dangerous for you to climb so many steps. It may cause your water to break early.”

I didn’t disagree. The stairs had become too cumbersome, but I played with Gillacoemgain all the same, digging for his smile. “Admit it, I’ve grown so large I’m taking up too much of your bed. You just want more room.”

Gillacoemgain laughed. “You certainly take up too much of my blankets. I woke with a frozen backside this morning.”

“Well then, you need to snuggle in closer.”

Once we were upstairs, my husband helped me lower myself into bed then tucked me in before crawling into the bed beside me. He wrapped his arms around me and held me tight. “What do you suppose they are, boys or girls?” he asked, putting his hands on my stomach. The little ones within my belly rolled. We could feel their kicks.

“Or one of each?”

Gillacoemgain kissed my shoulder. “Little raven,” he whispered.

He was silent for a while thereafter and soon I heard his heavy breathing. He’d already drifted off to sleep.

Rest, for me, however, didn’t come easy. No wonder poor Gillacoemgain had lost his blankets. I rolled most of the night, unable to find a comfortable position. It felt like half the night had passed when I heard scratching on the door.

I rose to find Thora outside.

“The boy kicked you out?” I asked her.

She wagged her tail then came inside, moving directly toward a spot in front of the fire.

“Good idea,” I said then went to sit in a chair before the flames. I picked up the embroidery frame I’d been, albeit half-heartedly, working on, but felt too sleepy and too bored to bother. My eyelids drooped, but still, I didn’t sleep. It must have been late in the evening when I saw movement in the room. At first I thought it was Thora moving around, but then I realized she was still at my feet. Out of the corner of my eye, a shape materialized.

“You’re huge,” a woman told me.

I recognized the sound of her voice at once. Sid. “What do you expect? I plan on bearing giants.” I looked at her. She’d come by casting. She was a mere shadow of herself.

Thora lifted her head and wagged her tail.

Sid grinned. “So, how are you?”

“As well as can be expected.”

“That bad? Come with me. We’ll go visit the summer country and dance with the fey.”

“And leave this swollen body behind? I don’t think it advisable.”

Sid laughed. “Where is the Mormaer?”

“Asleep,” I said, motioning to the bed.

Sid went then to the bedside and looked down at him. How odd it was to see her, and see through her, all at once.

“You’ve always had good luck with men. He’s rather a beast, isn’t he? How is he…you know,” she said, then motioned as if she were planning to lift the blankets and have a look.

“Sid!”

She laughed, her pleasant laughter tinkling like a bell.

Gillacoemgain sighed then rolled over.

“He is a man, all in all, but I’ve grown to love him,” I told her.

“And what of your druid?”

Her abrupt question struck at my very core. “I’ve closed my heart to him.”

“Liar.”

“He’s lost to me. It’s best to forget him.”

“I’ve seen him. He pines for you.”

“You’ve seen him?”

“In the moonlight, amongst the rings, he weeps for the love he lost.”

Banquo. “Comfort him,” I told her.

“He has a wife for that.”

“Yes, I know.”

“But still, his heart longs for you.”

“Why are you tormenting me with this?”

“Because I don’t want you to forget.”

“Forget what?”

“Who you really are,” she said. “Who you really love.”

“My love is in ashes.”

Sid shook her head. “Malcolm, Epona, even that old hag, Andraste…they all play games. In your heart, you know to whom and to what life you really belong.”

I looked at her, realizing in that moment what she needed from me. “I haven’t forgotten you,” I whispered. Like Banquo, Sid also held a special place in my heart, but it was a place I didn’t quite understand. “I miss you. And I love you.”

A look of relief crossed Sid’s face. It was what she had longed to hear. A second later, however, she smothered the expression. “Of course you do. By the by, I come with a message.”

“From whom?”

“Epona. She told me to ensure you remembered your promise. What did you promise her?”

“To come to the coven to deliver my children.”

Sid looked thoughtful. “She seems dreadfully upset about the whole thing and worries excessively about you.”

“Odd.”

“Yes. These are odd times.”

“Indeed?”

“Change is in the air. Will you be coming soon?”

I nodded. “I need to convince the Mormaer.”

Sid looked back at him. “I can see how you could love a face like that,” she said then sighed. Her casting weakened. “I must go.”

“Begone then, spirit. Bother me no more,” I said in jest.

We giggled.

Sid lifted a hand in farewell and then disappeared.

I was left staring into the flames, strange visions trying to take shape in my mind.

“Not tonight,” I whispered to the darkness, to the Goddess, to the raven…to whoever wanted me to see what was to come. “Not tonight,” I said, closing my eyes, my hands resting on my swollen belly.

Soon, someone whispered in reply, but I was too tired to understand if the voice had come from the other world or within me.


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