Empower

Chapter 39

‘To see a world in a grain of sand and heaven in a wild flower, hold infinity in the palm of your hand, and eternity in an hour.’

William Blake

I’d been waiting for him.

It had been a few days since Griffin became the head of the Assembly, and things were gradually settling down. Steph’s wedding plans were going full-steam ahead. The term ‘duck and cover’ was being used with particular regularity within Academy walls and, well, let’s just say no one was warrior enough to escape the wrath of bridal-Steph.

Tonight, everyone was at Ascension enjoying a night off and a joint bucks-and-hens night for Steph and Salvatore, who had decided that after recent events it would be more fun to be all together. They had been right.

After watching Dapper and Onyx bring out a huge pre-wedding cake, I had taken the opportunity to slip away for some fresh air. Watching all of my friends smiling and dancing helped put things in perspective. And perspective, I have discovered, proves this: life goes on.

But it is a different life now.

As I sat on the Brooklyn Bridge, Phoenix finally showed up.

He sat beside me, his legs dangling over the edge like mine.

‘It’s strange not sensing you,’ I said. My powers had been returning gradually, gaining in strength and accuracy every day. It wouldn’t be long before I was ‘all systems, go!’. But even then … my days of sensing Phoenix were over.

He half laughed. ‘Everything is strange.’ A gust of wind blew my hair back. ‘Especially that,’ he said, marvelling.

‘Wind?’

‘Wind,’ he confirmed.

I nodded. I could imagine that feeling the wind without being able to mingle with it would take some getting used to.

He hesitated for a moment before giving me a familiar smirk. ‘It suits you.’ When I looked at him blankly, he added, ‘Your hair. It’s bad-ass and beautiful at the same time.’

I blushed and looked down.

He laughed, fully this time. ‘And that’s weird too. Not feeling your emotions even though I can see them.’

‘Do you miss it?’

He shrugged. ‘Are you well?’ he asked instead.

‘Getting there,’ I responded, accepting the subject change.

We were silent for a time, watching the cars stream by below, their brake lights leaving trails of red in their wake. Yes, life goes on.

‘I could try to do something,’ I blurted out suddenly. ‘Speak with the angels.’ I hadn’t seen them since I’d woken up the second time and I wasn’t sure if I would ever see Michael again, but surely someone would answer me if I called to them.

‘Thank you, but I don’t want you to do that.’

I looked at him for the first time. His dark eyes sparkled, and his hair, still stunning with shades of black and purple, seemed … quietened. It struck me that he was different in more ways than one. He was human, yes. But he was …

‘You look young,’ I said, smiling.

He laughed darkly. ‘Not for long.’

I sobered. He was right. Phoenix would live a normal human life now, he would grow old and die. Because of me.

‘I’m so sorry,’ I whispered.

His hand went to my face, his touch filled with unsaid words, and he gently tilted my chin until our eyes met. ‘I’m not.’

I saw the truth in his eyes. Felt it. ‘But you’ll die.’

‘One day, yes. But I think this might well be the first time I have looked forward to living. I’ve always been different. Not quite angel enough, not quite human enough. I’ve been searching for my place, and now I’ve found it.’

‘You want this?’

He smiled. ‘Didn’t you? I get it now. It’s different from just being half here as an exile. And best of all, without my powers, I don’t leak emotion all over the place. A girl hasn’t thrown herself at me once since I changed.’

I looked him up and down, and I couldn’t stop my smile. Phoenix was a gorgeous example of a man. ‘I wouldn’t count on that becoming the rule,’ I said wryly.

He shrugged, but his eyes stayed glued to mine, searching for the memory of past times, when we had been more to each other. And of course it was there. The memory was bittersweet and I would carry it with me forever. I could tell the moment Phoenix found it too, from the ripple of pain that showed in his expression. He looked away.

‘Maybe. But maybe there’s a chance one of them might actually want me for … me.’

I swallowed. ‘I’m sorry, Phoenix.’ And this time I was apologising for something more personal. And he knew it.

‘Me too.’

I blew out a breath. ‘What now?’

Phoenix swung his legs in time with mine. ‘We both know the answer to that.’

My chest suddenly tightened and tears slipped from my eyes. Because he was right.

I bit down hard on my lip. ‘You’ll always know where I am. If you ever …’

He nodded. ‘I’ll know. But you need to get on with your life.’ He gestured to my wedding finger. ‘And I need to find a life that won’t hurt the people I care the most about.’ He looked back into my eyes and then away, running his hand through his hair and rubbing the back of his neck. ‘Don’t look like that, Violet. Please. Seeing you sad … I had to watch you these past two years and it ripped me apart.’

‘I wish things had been different.’

‘No, you don’t. Not really. You and I were destined to come together. I was destined to share my essence with you, and I think you were destined to change me so completely that when it came to making my ultimate decision, I was ready. I thought that with you I would belong and that I would find my place in this world. But it wasn’t with you so much as through you. I understand that now.’ He half laughed again. ‘Turns out you weren’t the only one with a Gordian Knot to slice through.’

I nodded quickly, trying to hold back more tears.

He cleared his throat. ‘That doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt like hell to see that marking on your finger, but it means I can accept it.’

I took in a shuddering breath, absorbing Phoenix’s words – both his understanding and his forgiveness.

After a few minutes of silence Phoenix stood and pulled me up and into his arms. I gripped him tightly, knowing that this would be the last time.

‘I hope you have the most amazing life. You deserve it,’ I said. ‘And I hope that when she finds you, you will finally see the truth you have always denied.’

‘You sound like them, speaking in riddles,’ he admonished. ‘Who? And what?’ he said with a smile.

‘The one. And, how incredible and deserving of true happiness you really are.’

His arms tightened around me and then his mouth moved close to my ear. ‘That certainly is something to look forward to.’ He lingered, breathing in and out slowly, before whispering, ‘I’ll always be with you. Even though we’ll be forever apart.’

Phoenix was right. I carried the essence of his angelic being.

He will always be with me.

I held onto him for what felt like seconds but was probably much longer. Our lives had collided with an almost obliterating force, but we had taught each other to survive, to fight, to be strong and inevitably to act with our hearts and consciences. Our future was not together, but our history would be forever entwined.

Eventually, he brushed the hair back from my face and looked at me for what I knew was the last time. ‘Say the words I came to hear,’ he said softly.

I almost whimpered, but he deserved them. So did I.

And so did Lincoln.

I took a deep breath and cupped his cheek in my hand. ‘Goodbye, Phoenix.’

His smile was painted with both pain and relief as tears slipped down his face to mirror my own. ‘Goodbye, lover.’

The wedding was perfect.

Grigori glamour users put a dome of cover over Central Park and the nature users went crazy. Steph, on Dapper’s arm, walked down an aisle rimmed by white daisies; the same white daisies that went as far as the eye could see – Zoe’s gift to the happy couple.

Steph was breathtaking in a vintage Chanel dress that showcased her slim figure in the most delicate Chantilly lace and intricate beading, while her veil remained short and understated. Her parents, too wrapped up in their own lives, had not made the trip to celebrate her day but had insisted on paying for it. Much to Onyx’s horror, Steph had returned most of the money to them. Minus the cost of the dress.

Zoe and I played our roles as bridesmaids, each wearing a dusty-blue silk dress that flowed to the ground, cutting a slim elegant line with a low and open back. Zoe tipped her hair with gold and with her smoky eye make-up looked divine. I had let Steph style my hair, as she had always been the expert on shorter styles, and the end result had a 1920s glam feel about it. I loved it.

Lincoln and Spence got off considerably easier in the duties department as groomsmen. Salvatore, no surprise, was the most relaxed groom imaginable.

They spoke their vows in both English and Italian. And when Father Peters proclaimed them husband and wife, the applause was thunderous as their love was felt by all of the two hundred guests.

As the day moved into night the glamour users continued to keep the full sit-down meal, band and dance floor hidden from human eyes.

Just before the reception began, I slipped away for a few minutes to collect my wedding gift for Steph. It wasn’t perfect, considering I had wanted to have it ready before the ceremony started, but still …

‘Are you ready for this?’ I asked sternly. ‘You need to know what you are walking into, and if you can’t handle it, don’t come.’

He looked at his feet and nodded. ‘I’ve messed up, Violet. I know it. But I want to fix things. Starting right now.’

I smiled and pulled him in for a hug. ‘Right, we better get you and your perfectly tailored tuxedo in there, then.’

He followed me through the invisible wall of glamour, and once I told him what to look for, his human eyes gradually adapted.

‘Don’t pass out,’ I cautioned. ‘Breathe.’

He nodded quickly, and slowly the colour returned to his face. We stood on the side of the dance floor and I gestured to the middle, where Steph was dancing with Lincoln. They were speaking close to one another, smiling and laughing.

I walked into the centre of the floor and tapped Steph’s shoulder.

‘I think I’ll cut in now,’ I said.

Steph pouted. ‘But I want to keep dancing.’

Failing at holding back my smile any longer, I stepped aside. ‘And I have the perfect partner for you.’

Steph’s line of sight cleared and she gasped the moment she saw her brother, standing there with a proud smile on his face.

‘Sorry I’m late, sis,’ he said.

Steph … well, Steph is one of the good ones. She doesn’t hold a grudge. She isn’t cold. No. She simply burst into tears and flung herself into her brother’s arms.

‘Whoa!’ Jase laughed, stumbling back. He would have gone down too, if Salvatore’s hand hadn’t steadied them.

Jase stepped back and quickly put his hand out to Salvatore. ‘Welcome to the family, man. You got the best of us.’

Salvatore shook his hand, smiling as he gestured to the wedding party. ‘And welcome to ours.’

Steph looked over to me, delight shining in her eyes as she mouthed, ‘Thank you.’

I smiled as I mouthed back, ‘You’re welcome.’

Lincoln slid his arms around me from behind. ‘So, that was your top-secret mission?’

I admit I was feeling pretty damn smug. We’d waged a silent war over the past week over who could come up with the best wedding gift.

What? I never said maturity had to dominate in all areas of my life!

‘Yep,’ I said, pulling his arms tighter as we watched Steph and Jase dance, both of them laughing as they goofed around. ‘How did yours end up?’ I asked.

Me? Gloating? Never.

Lincoln looked at his watch and then whispered in my ear. ‘Look up.’

Just as I did, silver and gold fireworks erupted from all over the place, flying right up to the edge of the glamour dome before exploding within until the entire dome was illuminated in a completely unearthly and beautiful way.

‘How?’ I asked.

Lincoln shrugged behind me, his fingers gliding up and down my bare back, making me shiver. ‘A little help from telekinesis and the conductors. How did I do?’ he whispered into my ear as I watched on in awe.

I feigned nonchalance, at both his words and his still-wandering hands. ‘It’s okay, I guess. But family trumps everything,’ I said.

Sliding his hands around my waist, he turned us both slowly on the spot, and pointed to the bar.

‘Yes, baby. Family trumps it all.’

Mum and Dad raised their glasses of champagne towards me – and just like Steph, I burst into tears. I hadn’t seen them for more than a year.

As they walked towards us, I turned to Lincoln. Before I could speak, he kissed me, then said, ‘We might have been married by angels, but that doesn’t mean you have to miss out on a few wedding gifts yourself.’

‘I love you,’ I said, just before my father whisked me up into a bear hug.

‘There’s my girl,’ Dad said, almost squeezing the life out of me.

He put me down and Mum pulled me tight. ‘You’re everything and more than I could ever have dreamed.’ She then held me back at arm’s length and looked me over. ‘Even without my Grigori gifts I can see what they all see.’

‘Who?’ I asked, smiling with confusion.

She looked around. ‘Everyone, sweetheart. Everyone.’ She cupped my face with both of her hands. ‘You’re empowered. And that makes you luminous,’ she said, using the same word Lincoln had used, not so long ago.

Dad looked down at Lincoln’s hand, which was joined with mine, and gestured to the markings on our wedding fingers.

He raised his eyebrows at Lincoln. ‘Missed a call, did I?’

Lincoln swallowed beside me and, in a rare display of nerves, suddenly seemed to be struggling for words.

Dad maintained his stern face and spoke levelly, which only made it worse. ‘What? You don’t believe in tradition?’

Lincoln cleared his throat.

I elbowed Dad in his side and he finally gave way to a smile. ‘So, I’m guessing they don’t have phones in the angelic realm?’

Mum and Dad started to laugh as they took in Lincoln’s freaked-out expression. I couldn’t help it; I busted up, too. It turns out we all have the same twisted sense of humour.

Lincoln forgave us. Eventually.

Three hours, a few too many glasses of champagne and way too many dances later, Lincoln and I slid into the car we had waiting. Steph and Salvatore had already left, headed on their honeymoon to the Amalfi Coast in Italy.

‘Ready?’ Lincoln asked as we settled into our seats, bound for the airport.

I nodded. ‘It’ll be strange going back and Griff not being there.’

Lincoln pulled me into the crook of his arm. ‘True, but Spence and Chloe will only be a couple of days behind us, and Steph, Sal and Zoe won’t be far behind.’

I smiled at that. We hadn’t asked any of them to come with us but Spence hadn’t hesitated, stating plainly that now that I’d got my shit together there was no way he was going to miss out on the fun. Which pretty much translated to: he figured he’d get more fighting action with me around.

He was probably right.

I’d already placed my bet with Onyx that Mia would be close behind. Judging by the way she and Spencer were currently dancing, I was confident it was money in the bank.

‘And Dapper and Onyx will be back and forth,’ Lincoln went on.

That was true too. Griffin had recently put Onyx in charge of a new task force for the Academy, to help the transition to human lives for the many exiles who had been stripped of their power in New Orleans. Onyx was the only one we knew who had previously gone through the transition, so he was the perfect choice to run a kind of halfway house.

I snuggled into Lincoln’s welcoming arms.

The driver turned to us. ‘JFK airport, was it?’

Lincoln nodded. ‘That’s right.’

‘You two headed home or going away?’ he asked, in a friendly voice.

‘Home,’ we said together.

‘Oh, yeah? Where exactly is that?’ he added.

I took in another deep breath. Sun. Honey. ‘Actually,’ I said, meeting the green eyes I would love until the end of time. ‘I’m already there.’

The driver gave us a nod of understanding and turned his attention back to the road.

Lincoln smiled, pulling me closer. ‘It’s midnight,’ he said. Then he leaned over and kissed me, and the world was just as it was intended to be. We would fight again. I was no longer naive. Terror would strike at its leisure and darkness laced in misery would test and threaten all we had. But not today. Today was ours.

‘Happy birthday, baby.’

I smiled, realising I’d spent my entire life wishing my birthdays away and this time I had actually forgotten. It wasn’t as if they’d ever represented anything I wanted to celebrate. For the first seventeen years it had only been a reminder of my mother’s death, and for the past two, just a marker of time spent alone.

Lincoln reached behind him, revealing a black velvet box and a large envelope. My brow crinkled as I took them. ‘What’s this?’ I asked, turning the envelope over in my hands.

‘Open the box first,’ he said, tucking a wayward strand of hair behind my ear.

I bit down on my lip when I looked inside and saw a divine platinum necklace holding a solitary lily pendant; a diamond nestled in each of its delicate petals.

I tilted my head to allow Lincoln to fasten the chain. He took full advantage of the moment, peppering my neck and shoulder with goosebump-inducing kisses.

‘I love it.’ It was the perfect symbol of our love.

Lincoln sat back, smiling proudly and gestured to the envelope. ‘Open it.’

I did. The words took a moment to sink in. My hand went to my mouth and beneath it I could feel my uncontrollable smile as I reread the words over and over: You have been accepted into the Fenton Art Course.

It had been my seventeenth birthday when my world had changed. I’d been headed towards a future that I thought I wanted, and it included a place in the prestigious Fenton Art Course. Of course, my path had altered since then, and between the heartache and blood loss, well, art had been lost to me as well. But I missed it every day. It was a part of me. Part of my humanity.

The course started next month.

I sank into the arms of the man I loved, knowing that the inclinations I’d once felt to run or quit were far behind me, and that in their place was a simple readiness to face whatever lay ahead, with my partner at my side, and to appreciate the good moments for all they could be. I inhaled deeply – a new memory logged – and at that moment I realised that birthdays would forever more be one of my favourite things.