Destiny: Child of the Sky

80

“You know, I would never take you for the fainting type, but you certainly do a lot of it lately.”

Gwydion’s voice broke through the fog that surrounded her jumbled thoughts, clear in its tone. The other voices she was hearing were occluded by memory, fighting for dominance in her understanding. Rhapsody struggled for consciousness, but succeeded only in determining she was lying down on her bed, because her cheek brushed the stiff lace that trimmed the flannel pillowcase. She lost her battle to hang on to the Present, and succumbed to the contradictory, confusing voices and images from the Past.

She could hear the words of their wedding vows, beautiful in the way that only a Singer of her power and a dragon who had loved someone through two lifetimes could speak them. She had committed the song the vows created to the grotto, so that Elysian itself would bear witness to the love promised there. The song rang there still, now that the memory was returned, lighting the cavern with gladness.

Then the image shifted, and she saw other faces, heard other voices. I’m not seeing your son anymore, Llauron. I’ve done as you asked; we’ve parted company.

What a, shame, and. after I specifically gave him my blessing. A shame; I urn-sorry, my dear.

Rhapsody pitched from side to side in her coma-like state. They are all liars, Achmed had insisted. At least in the old world you knew who the bad guys were because they professed what they stood for. Here the allegedly good ones are calculating users; the ancient evils could never wreak the level of havoc that the Lord and Lady Cymrian did. And you want to hand yourself over to the potentially biggest liar of all on a silver platter.

Well, if I do, it is my choice to do so. I will take the risk, and live or die by my own volition.

-^

Wrong. We may all suffer that fate, because you aren’t just compromising yourself, you are throwing all of our neutrality into the pot, and if you overbet your hand, we all lose.

She could feel hot tears on her neck, and arms holding her tightly, but gently. It’s all right, Sam. You won’t hurt me. Really. It will be all right.

Emily, I would never, never hurt you on purpose; I hope you know that.

Rhapsody’? Rhapsody, please say something. Please.

Is your temper tantrum over?

I’m sorry; gods, I’m so sorry—

The hair that had fallen into her eyes was brushed back gently. Oi say we kill ’im. And if we’re wrong, an’ another one shows up, we kill ’im too.

You can’t go around killing people if you’re not sure whether you’re right.

And why not’? Always worked for us before. Seriously, miss, this is too big to take chances with, if you’re not sure.

The shooting lighttone had touched the newly blooming flowers of her garden, absorbing their colors and spinning them skyward, exploding into shimmering fireworks as it impacted with the dome of the firmament. Ashe’s face smiled down at her in her memory.

Are you sure?

I’m sure.

Hazily she slapped away the hand that caressed her forehead. You seem to have appointed yourself the guardian of my heart, Rhapsody. Why don’t you make me the protector of yours? I promise I will keep it safe.

It was a hoax; Llauron is not dead; you were used. I’m sorry, I wish I could tell you in a more gentle way.

Please be what you seem. Please, please don’t hurt me.

I am. And I never will.

Please understand I would rather die at this moment than tell you what I am about to.

Why?

Because I know what I am going to tell you will hurt you.

He had picked her up from the spot where he had married her and carried her carefully over the threshold and up the stairs to their nuptial bed. He trembled as he leaned over to kiss her, and when he looked down into her eyes she saw the same boy she had fallen in love with a world before, on a moonlit summer night under the lacy shadows of a willow tree.

She could hear her father’s voice: When you find the one thing in your life you believe in above anything else, you owe it to yourself to stand by it—it will never come again, child. And if you believe in it unwaveringly, the world has no other choice but to see it as you do, eventually. For who knows it better than you? Don’t be afraid to take a difficult stand, darling. Find the one thing that matters—everything else will resolve itself.

Rhapsody opened her eyes. Gwydion was looking down into her face, worry on his own. When he saw her awake he grinned in relief; then his grin dimmed to one tempered with concern, and more than a touch of fear.

“Welcome back. Are you all right?”

She closed her eyes and put the heel of the hand to her forehead, endeavoring to drive the pounding headache out of her skull. “I don’t know; what happens now?”

“I guess that depends on how you’re feeling,” Gwydion said, a hint of nervousness in his voice. “If you’d like my vote, I say we find a goat hut and go live happily ever after.” A look of undiluted love washed over his face for a moment, then was tempered by her uncertainty. “I love you, Aria; gods, I’ve been dying to tell you this for so long. But I don’t want to overwhelm you; I know you’ve had enough of that state to last a lifetime. So I’ll follow your lead. Tell me what you need to know, or what you’re feeling. Please, tell me what’s in your heart.”

Rhapsody looked into his face and studied his eyes. They were free from deception, or so she thought, with hope brimming beneath the surface; he seemed to be holding his breath, waiting for her answer. In her mind she tied up all her feelings of betrayal and resentment into a large mound and set them aside for a moment to be better able to discern how she really felt. That she still loved him she knew, had known all along; it seemed apparent that he still loved her, too. But there was something she had to learn before she could decide anything else. She sat up with great difficulty and a little help from Gwydion.

“I need to know something, but I am afraid to hear the answer, more than I have ever been afraid of anything in my life,” she said. She tried to give voice to the question, but after many moments of opening her mouth and then closing it again, she began to cry. “I can’t even bring myself to ask you,” she wept.

Gwydion took her in his arms and cradled her. “Let me see if I can both ask and answer it for you, so you don’t have to. Are we really married? Yes.”

Rhapsody’s tears ceased, but her face grew paler as she pulled away from him. “That’s not it,” she said.

“Very well, then, am I really your Sam, and are you really my darling Emily? Yes.”

“Ashe—”

“Not that one, either? All right. Do I still love you? Impossible to express how much, but yes.”

“Please—”

“Am I, or have I ever been, married to or in love with anyone else? No.”

“Will you shut up?” Rhapsody snarled. Gwydion was taken aback, and dropped his hands from her arms. The pain on his face twisted Rhapsody’s heart, and tears sprang to her eyes again. “I’m sorry, Sam,” she whispered. “I didn’t mean to say that. Please, just let me think a minute.”

Gwydion nodded numbly. She knew how long he had waited to set things right, how much he wanted their life back, but until she could answer one last question that was not possible. She closed her eyes and thought back to the words she had struggled so hard to drive from her mind.

Don’t be jealous, Rhapsody; the Rakshas liked it so much better with you than with your sister. What, you didn’t know? Well, I’m not surprised. They did look identical, your two lovers. How fortunate for me that you fell in love with the son of Llauron; it made it so much easier for the Rakshas to have you. You don’t think it was always Gwydion who took you, did you? Once your sister told my creation about the two of you, it was easy. It is, after all, very dark in the Teeth at night, isn’t it, my dear?

Rhapsody grew pale and began to tremble, and the fear in her eyes went straight to Gwydion’s heart. “Just ask, Emily; whatever it is, I swear to you, I will tell you the truth.”

“I know you will,” she said, trying to remain calm. “All right. Do you remember the night in the Cauldron when I told you about Jo and the Rakshas?”

Gwydion shuddered. “How could I forget? Yes, unfortunately.”

“Tell me what happened after you left the Cauldron.”

He looked confused. “After I left? How would I know?”

Desperation came into Rhapsody’s eyes. “I don’t mean in the Cauldron, what happened to you?”

“I went off, at our mutual instigation, and left for the coast. Is this about my not being there for you when you were hurt, Aria?”

“No,” she said, beginning to shake. “Please, stay focused. Exactly what happened that night. You’re a dragon; I want a reasonable level of detail.”

“I walked across the barricades and out into the Teeth, and made my way up the crag face to the steppes. I got past the rock ridge and was on my way down the slope when I heard you calling me; I thought it was the wind.”

“And what did you do?”

“I came back and found you in the sheltered arch, wearing next to nothing—we have to talk about this little proclivity of yours, by the way. I love the idea of you naked or next to it, but not outside in winter.”

Rhapsody almost assaulted him. “Keep going!”

Ashe shrugged. “You had come crawling out in the dark to make me swear I would not track the Rakshas, and, against my better judgment, I agreed. And then we made love; it was not the way I wished it could have been, sort of helpless and desperate, and I feared through it all I was hurting you, but I couldn’t stop myself; we were both in so much pain that I—” His voice came to a grinding halt as relief broke over her face and she began to weep aloud with joy. “What? Now I’m really confused.”

Rhapsody continued to sob, but now her weeping was mixed with glorious laughter. As if shattered, the pain that had gripped her abdomen unclenched, and she threw her arms around Gwydion, startling and delighting him at the same time.

“All right,” he said as he pulled her closer. “I don’t understand this, but I can get used to it.”

Rhapsody dried her eyes on the sleeves of his shirt. “No, don’t do that,” she said, wiping the tears away and breaking into a smile. “I don’t ever want to be this relieved again as long as I live, because I never want to be that frightened again.”

Gwydion caressed her cheek. “Can you tell me about it?”

Rhapsody nodded as she reached into the pocket of his cloak for his handkerchief. Gwydion smiled and sighed in relief himself at the gesture; the old Rhapsody was coming back. After she blew her nose she told him the details of the intervening time, and what had happened with the demon. He blanched when he learned the extent of the pain she had been carrying around; he knew even his own agony at the loss of the piece of his soul could barely match the fear she must have felt. He pulled her into his arms again.

“Gods, Aria, why didn’t you come to me? Why didn’t you let me see you? I would have told you that it was me that night in the Teeth, and you wouldn’t have had to suffer like this.”

“Well, obviously because your answer could have been different,” Rhapsody answered calmly. “And if what the demon said had turned out to be true, I would have broken down; I never would have been able to get through this blasted Council.”

“You carried this fear for the sake of the Cymrians?” Gwydion asked incredulously. “They certainly don’t deserve it.”

“Be that as it may, for the sake of everyone who shares the world with them, they needed to be called and united. Speaking of which, I have a bone to pick with you.”

“Oh?” His eyes twinkled. “I’m all yours. My attention, as well as the rest.”

She looked at him seriously. “What did you think you were doing, naming me Lady of that Council? Are you insane?”

“Why?”

“We have been having this discussion since the first night we, well, since our first night as lovers,” she said. “You know my rank; why did you put me in this position? I don’t want to be Lady Cymrian. You know my birth status. I’m not qualified.”

Gwydion laughed. “Obviously the Council doesn’t agree with you, since you were elected unanimously. Must be nice; they argued about my suitability for hours.” Rhapsody’s face grew hot and she looked down into her lap. Ashe stopped laughing and took her hands. “Rhapsody, I’ve been trying to tell you all along, there is no one who could make even as good a leader for these people as you; certainly there is no one better.”

“That’s a sad statement.”

“Beware,” Gwydion said seriously. “You are talking about my Lady, as well as the woman I love. Didn’t you once tell me that we had a responsibility to help in whatever way we could? Who but you could have calmed that rabble, got them to talk to each other civilly for the first time in centuries, perhaps ever? The members of the First and Third Fleets were hanging on each other like old friends, toasting your health and reign mutually. Can you fathom the significance of that? Who but you could silence Anwyn, could banish her back to where she belongs, without a hint of rancor, then sing a tribute to her? Could make her cry for love of you?”

“I seriously doubt that Anwyn would agree with your assessment of her feelings.”

He took her face in his hands and regarded her seriously. “Who would have carried the hideous belief that you have, a possibility you would have died because of, in order to make it through for people to whom you felt an obligation, even though you had no vested interest in power over them? Gods, Aria, if that doesn’t prove your worthiness, I don’t know what could.

-

I did not make you my wife so that you would be the Lady Cymrian, nor did I make you the Lady Cymrian so that you would be my wife. I did it because, for each of the roles, there is no other possible candidate; none whatsoever. And I am here to help you. I will handle, at least initially, while teaching you about, the annual fisherman’s catch rights, and planting cycles, and taxation rates on oxen in the Orlandan provinces, and armament procurements—”

Rhapsody sighed comically. “I can’t wait. I don’t already have enough of that nonsense in Tyrian.”

His face became solemn. “Rhapsody, are you going to forgive me? Can you find it in your heart to take me back? Neither of us could foresee what would happen since the night we married; I knew you would face terrible pain, but I had no idea how much. Do you still love me?”

She sighed. “Yes. Always.”

“And is that enough for you?”

She regarded him seriously. The pain had been excoriating, the lies had almost destroyed them both. But the lies had not been theirs, and now they were the leaders, the ones to decide how the power would be used. The memory of their wedding came flooding back unbidden, the incredible happiness she had felt and seen in his eyes as they promised themselves to one another; the tenderness of their lovemaking as their souls touched and were joined completely in the total knowledge of who they were; the giddiness of unabashed laughter beneath the covers, sharing secrets and plans that night; the hopes they told each other of. It had been her first taste of true and utter joy, and that realization brought back another voice of wisdom to her. She could see the smile on the face of the Patriarch in her memory.

Above all else, may you know joy.

It became a simple decision. In her mind she pictured the bundle of negative feelings and set them ablaze with imaginary fire, burning them quickly into ash, leaving nothing but those things that were sacred to her. Kyle hira. “Yes,” she said, watching his face begin to glow with the happiness she had not seen for half a year. “Yes, I think you taught me that. It’s enough. In fact, it’s more; it’s something to be humbly grateful for, and I am.”

“Then you will take me back?”

Rhapsody laughed. “I don’t think I ever gave you away, but of course I will. I may even forgive you for making me Lady Cymrian someday, but don’t count on it.”

“Well, lest you forget, you made me Lord, or planned to, so we’re even.”

“Wrong. We will never be even.” Rhapsody paused, then she smiled at him. “You will always be much taller; I admit it.”

“Just as long as you are clear in your understanding that I am your devoted husband; there is and never was anyone but you.”

“I’ve got that, I think.”

“And there is one little comment you made that I have felt the need to clear up for the last six months.”

“Really?”

“Absolutely. Do you remember, on the night of our wedding, after I proposed but before I went all scaly on you, that you were telling me about our time in the old land? Not knowing who I was yet?”

“Yes.”

“And I believe you referred to our lovemaking under the starry Serendair sky, our first time, our mutual deflowerment, as ‘one night of meaningless sex in a pasture’; is that right?” His eyes twinkled as his face set in a scowl of mock annoyance.

Rhapsody laughed even as her own face colored in embarrassment. “I believe that was the term I used, yes; I think you’re right.”

“Oh, I am right,” he said, amusement threatening to drive away his pretense of irritation. “That was a beautiful, sacred moment to me, Emily.”

Her laughter diminished into a serious smile. “It was for me, too, Sam,” she said sincerely, speaking with her lore. “It felt like the consummation of a marriage that had already been blessed.”

“Exactly! Exactly what I felt. I don’t even remember proposing to you; it was as though we just mutually decided that we were to be married.”

“Yes. I agree.”

“Well, since that is the case, I believe I hold the record for marital abstinence, having gone approximately a hundred and forty years between episodes of carnal knowledge with you; vastly more if you count it in your time. Then it would be calculated in centuries; millennia, even.”

Rhapsody laughed again. “Congratulations! Now, there’s an accomplishment to be proud of.”

“And now, now that we’ve been married, with vows and rings and everything, I have waited six months, six months, Rhapsody. No man who has ever seen you or heard about you could believe that kind of connubial celibacy was possible.”

“And no one who knew me, unless they also knew I was unaware of the opportunity. It isn’t easy for me, either, Sam.”

“But I am becoming the Lord of Forbearance, don’t you think?”

“Definitely. I’ve already admired your restraint; what else do you want?”

“That is a silly question.”

“Let me guess; you’re going for a new abstinence record?”

“That’s not funny.” Despite his statement, he chuckled.

Rhapsody grinned at him. “Does this mean you expect me to somehow make this up to you?”

“Yes.”

“Oh. Well, I don’t think mathematically it is possible for me to do so tonight; I’m sorry.”

He leaned over her and rested his forehead on hers, his eyes looking deeply into her own. “You could at least try.”

“I suppose. I don’t have to be anywhere until sunrise.”

“Forget sunrise. The Cymrians are still drinking to us, even now. They won’t be able to move until noon or later.”

Rhapsody’s eyes sparkled. “Oh, all right.” She put her arms around his neck.

-

Gwydion stayed nose-to-nose with her; he climbed up onto the bed and positioned himself over her on his knuckles and knees. “And, after this blasted council is over, your dance card is completely filled for the next six months.”

“Six months? I don’t think so, Sam. Two weeks, maybe. I’ve been away from Tyrian an awfully long time.”

A dragonlike growl came forth.

“I’m sorry; if you want me to yourself, you’re going to have to marry me publicly; otherwise—”

“Say no more. It’s done.”

“Good.”

“Then you are mine exclusively for as long as you can stand me. Right?”

Her eyes glittered in the darkness. “Right.”

A dazzling smile spread over his face. “Good. Now give me back my shirt.” bonfires had spread throughout the Moot and the surrounding fields; there were tens of thousands of them now, with one vast inferno blazing in the center of the Bowl’s floor. The billowing flames lighted the night sky, making it gleam orange through the thick waves of black smoke that turned from gray to white as they wafted to the stars.

The considerable stores of wine and spirits that Achmed had provisioned for the gathering were exhausted within the first hours, leaving a very inebriated, very happy populace still in the frenzy of glorious celebration. Loud choruses of drunken singing swelled over the mountains and foothills, frightening the Bolg in Canrif as the anthems grew in volume.

When the moon set, Achmed, who was watching the festivities with sober interest, offered to replenish the alcohol from his stores near Griwen Post, a recommendation that was seized upon gladly. Faedryth and his aide-de-camp, Therion, began rounding up volunteers to assist in the transportation of the new supplies, finding the Nain to be one of the few groups among the revelers still able to stand erect, let alone locomote or carry anything valuable.

Within a few moments a small squadron of the volunteers accompanied the Firbolg king out of the Bowl, gathered wagons, and lurched unsteadily across the steppes toward where the king had directed, following the Bolg Cymrians in charge of the detail.

Achmed stood at the entrance of the Moot as they disappeared into the night, absorbing the screeching of the wagon wheels, the sound of singing and music of a thousand different types and origins, all playing simultaneously, the roar of merry laughter thundering against his skin-web, the sensitive network of exposed nerve and vein that made up his epidermal layer.

It was a clamor the like of which he had never experienced before, even in war. Grunthor had once said that the most frightening thing about battle was the sound of it, the thunderous noise of horses and mounted weapons being positioned, the murderous sound of fury and destruction, the wailing, the sound men made when they were exploding inside.

This noise was different; there was something far more fascinating and disturbing to him about it. It was an amalgamation of shrieking laughter and song, crackling flames, splintering wood and shouting, the sound of jubilation and years of pain mixed into one unholy roar. It had an effect on him similar to that of the sea, masking individual sounds by blending them into this hideous anti-symphony that was as ugly to his ears as Rhapsody’s song had been beautiful.

The inconstant light of the bonfires swept over him, flickering with blinding brightness one moment, going dark with smoke and flying cinders the next. When the darkness lingered for a longer-than-usual moment Achmed looked up and saw his Sergeant-Major standing beside him; the din had been enough to mask Grunthor’s pulse, which until this Council had been one of only two he still could perceive. Now he was drowning in the noise of all of the heartbeats of the First Generation; it was a surprisingly comfortable sensation, and made him feel almost nostalgic.

Grunthor handed him a battered tankard overflowing with cheap ale.

“Gotta give it to ’em; they know how ta throw a party, eh, sir?”

Achmed said nothing, but raised the mug to his lips and drank deeply.

The rim of the Bowl at the edge of the Summoner’s Rise was cloaked in thick smoke from the roaring bonfires, shrouded intermittently in blinding light and darkness. No one could have made out the figure standing there, silently watching the merrymaking, not even the Bolg guards who flanked the Rise, passing a wineskin between them.

No one saw that figure turn after a moment, blending into the smoke like a shadow from the Past. In darkness it crept to the pulpit, picked up the Cymrian horn, and walked away into the night amid the clouds of fire ash.