Bargain price

CHAPTER 33

W ITH ALYSS resting in his tent, General Doppelganger organized a meeting to discuss tactics. Bibwit

Harte, the white knight, Jack of Diamonds, Dodge, and Hatter Madigan assembled in the Alyssian War Room, which wasn’t so much a room as a patch of ground in the thickest part of the forest headquarters, furnished with a crystal-topped Hovering Table™ and matching chairs, as well as four EZ-Erase® gemstone writing boards that served as walls, on which every Alyssian military campaign of the last several years had been drawn up, hashed out, organized.

“But can she lead us?” General Doppelganger was asking. “She must,” said Hatter.

“What lunacy!” boomed Jack of Diamonds. But after seeing Hatter’s expressionless stare, he added, “I

mean…what lunacy, with all disrespect, sir.”

“There is no doubt she will need as much training and education as can be had in the short time we have,”

said Bibwit Harte.

“All I see is a young woman unprepared to conjure even a jollyjelly with her imagination, let alone battle

Redd for control of the queendom,” said Jack of Diamonds. The general nodded, thoughtful. “Knight, what do you say?”

“She is the princess. The line of succession rightfully ends with her. If she is willing to lead us-” “If she’s able, you mean,” muttered Jack.

“-then we must let her, if we are truly to be called Alyssians.”

Dodge, when present at these meetings, usually kept silent and listened to the exchange of strategies, disagreements over protocol, and interpretations of intel reports with stifled exasperation and anger: They were the self-proclaimed saviors of the queendom; they should have been engaging Redd in battle, not talking about it.

“I’m wondering,” he said, gazing at nothing in particular, and the mere fact that he had volunteered to speak caused a sudden hush, “how Redd knew where Alyss was.” He fixed his look on Jack of Diamonds.

“Are you accusing me of something?” “Suppose I am.”

“Gentlemen!” the general started.

“Then I need not suppose you’re a simpleton,” said Jack of Diamonds, “because I’ll have it for a certainty.”

Dodge stood, hand at his sword.

“We have enough trouble fighting Redd,” interposed Bibwit Harte. “It won’t help our chances if we are fighting among ourselves.”

Jack of Diamonds chortled, smug and dismissive. “Gentlemen, I don’t wish to fight. I have great respect for Mr. Anders’ accomplishments on the field of battle, but he knows nothing about politics. He is, as I’m sure you’ll agree, too apt to use his sword when he might better employ his tongue.”

“And you are too apt to powder that wig instead of fighting alongside us when it counts.”

Jack waved him off. “Let Mr. Anders believe what he wants. My only concern is Alyss. There’s no doubt in my mind that she is our lost princess, but I don’t think her mentally or physically capable of leading a charge against Redd.”

“It will take time,” Bibwit concurred.

“It will take the Looking Glass Maze,” said Hatter. “And that,” Bibwit agreed.

Jack of Diamonds slapped his forehead in disbelief. “Not that old bunk. The Looking Glass Maze was proven pointless long ago. Redd herself never went through any maze.”

“All the more reason why she can be defeated,” said Bibwit.

“General, I urge you…let us agree to the summit and stop this idiocy before it goes any further. An opportunity such as the one Redd is offering won’t come again.”

“No queen can reach her full strength and power without passing through the maze,” said Bibwit.

Jack of Diamonds lost all patience. “Yes, by all means, let’s run along to the maze! Hurry, hurry, to the all-important Looking Glass Maze while our future survival hangs in the balance!”

“We can’t simply ‘run along,’ as you say,” instructed Bibwit Harte. “Only the caterpillars know the location of the maze. Alyss must meet with the caterpillars.”

“But they haven’t left the Valley of Mushrooms since Redd became queen,” said the white knight. “Then she will have to go to them.”

“She’ll need a military escort,” Dodge said.

Jack of Diamonds pulled his wig down over his face and spoke into its thick, powdered curls. Though muffled, his voice was audible: “If you want to force her into a confrontation she’s ill-equipped to handle, all I can say is, May the spirit of Issa help anyone who should fall under your people’s care. You’d

march them off to their deaths.”

“Why are you so eager for us to compromise with Redd, I wonder?”

The question came from Dodge. But Jack only buried his face deeper into his wig and groaned. “Bibwit,” the general said, “shouldn’t you be getting back to Mount Isolation in case Redd suspects

something?”

“I’m not going back. The Cat has seen me with Alyss. My place is here now, with her.”

It would have been nice to maintain a spy in Redd’s court, but the general understood. “Well, we’re glad to have full use of you, at any rate.”

Bibwit’s ears twitched and a moment later they all heard it: someone quickly approaching. Hatter stood, hand at the brim of his top hat, and Dodge jumped up, ready to fight. But it was only the rook, battered and bruised from his skirmish with The Cat in the Whispering Woods.

“You made it,” he said, smiling at Dodge.

“You made it. I’ll get the surgeon.”

The rook shrugged him off. “I’m all right. Surface wounds only. We lost four-fifths of our men, though. Didn’t even take one of The Cat’s lives. But the princess is safe?”

Dodge nodded.

“That counts for something.” The rook lowered himself into a vacant chair. “So what’d I miss?”

“Well,” said General Doppelganger, “most here believe that Alyss must pass through the Looking Glass

Maze if she is to successfully challenge Redd. But I haven’t yet voiced my opinion.” Jack of Diamonds peeked out from his wig, hopeful.

“I think we should give Alyss the opportunity of meeting with the caterpillars in the Valley of

Mushrooms,” said General Doppelganger. “Let her try the maze, if she is able.” “Nooo,” Jack said and again buried his face in his wig.

“But in the meantime…” The general yanked Jack of Diamonds’ wig off his face. “Inform Redd that we’d be pleased to attend her summit, if she’s still willing to have it in light of Alyss’ return.” To the others, he said, “Responsibility to the cause requires we have alternate plans should the princess fail.”

“She won’t fail,” Dodge said. “I won’t let her.”