A Million Suns

65 ELDER

“NO, NO, NO,” AMY WHISPERS.

Her words remind me… of… something.

But everything’s so… slow.

“Stay back,” Doc says.

I struggle to hold on to the situation… to understand…

“Are you okay?” Amy says.

Why wouldn’t I be?

Doc. Holding something that looks like an orange cut in half. Mustard yellow.

“I’ll blow us all up,” Doc says. “If that’s what it takes. We have to protect the ship. Or I could just have Victria shoot you. Yes. We’ll do that. It would leave less of a mess.”

“I… I don’t know how,” she says softly.

“It’s very easy, dear,” Doc says. “Just point and squeeze the trigger. At this distance, you won’t miss her.”

His words mean something. I’m sure of it.

But… what?

Amy’s crying. Just one tear, on the edge of her right eye, but I notice it.

Can’t do anything.

Words float around me. Loud. Angry. Pleading.

“If he’s that much of a distraction,” Doc says, “maybe we should kill him now.”

“Not Elder!” Amy shouts, pushing me behind her.

I feel gray.

Fuzzy.

“Elder!” Doc commands loudly. “Show me what’s in your pocket!”

I do.

Wires.

Pretty wires.

Red.

Yellow.

Black.

Wires.

“Put them back in the Phydus machine,” Doc orders. “You know you want to.”

I do.

I do want to.

I shuffle toward the Phydus machine.

Something stops me.

Something pulls me back.

I try to keep walking.

I go nowhere.

“Amy,” Doc warns. “Don’t try to stop him.”

“Elder,” Amy’s voice whispers in my ear. “Elder, fight it. Fight it. You don’t want to start the Phydus machine again. You don’t have to rule with drugs. You’re good enough the way you are. Fight it. Be yourself.”

“Amy,” Doc warns. “You know I’ll kill you. Or him. You know I will.”

My legs move up and down, and I move forward again.

To the Phydus machine.

To put back in the wires.

Like I always knew I’d have to.