COMING SOON

A Bad Day for Witchcraft

A Bad Day for Sorcery

A Bad Day for Necromancy

A Bad Day for Hypnosis

A Bad Day for Levitation

A Bad Day for Astral Projection

A Bad Day for Snake Charming

A Bad Day for Demonic Possession

A Bad Day for Cryogenics

A Bad Day for Ventriloquism

A Bad Day for Yoga

A Bad Day for Voodoo II

A Bad Day for Drinking Poison

A Good Day for Dancing

A Bad Day for Shameless Cash-Ins

A Bad Day for Voodoo 3-D

A Bad Day for Eating Stuff off the Ground

A Bad Day for That Guy Who’s About to Be Hit by a Bus

A Bad Day for Slugs

A Bad Day for Voodoo (rewrite)

A Bad Day for Nudity

A Bad Day for the Olympics

A Mediocre Day for Walking

A Bad Day for Taxation without Representation

A Bad Day for Lady Gaga

A Bad Day for Voodoo II (rewrite)

Harry Potter v. A Bad Day for Voodoo

A Bad Day for Licorice

A Bad Day for Taunting Llamas

A Bad Day for Sequels


Are you still reading?

Ummmm.. .I’m out of story. Sorry. I assumed that everybody would have given up by now. I’ve said everything I wanted to say, and yeah, I guess I failed to fully explore a thematic element or two, but that was on purpose.

Hmm. Maybe you have a younger brother or sister who wants to read this book, but as a responsible older sibling, you’ve said “NO!!! There’s too much blood! You’ll have nightmares!” In that case, let’s give them something they can read!

Riddle: How do you make a voodoo doll float?

Answer: Two scoops of ice cream, some root beer, and a voodoo doll!

Actually, I think voodoo dolls float anyway. At least the ones made out of light fabric do. But it’s still kind of a funny riddle, right?

Okay, look, this book wasn’t meant for your little brother or

sister. If they’re all like “Lemme read it! Lemme read it!” tell them that they have to wait until they’re old enough to think that people losing body parts is funny, because that’s basically the whole book.

Oh.. .one more thing. Did you leave a five-star review online to help balance out all the one-star reviews this thing is going to get? That would be appreciated. I mean, don’t lie in your review or anything like that, but feel free to exaggerate. If you thought it was only three stars, maybe you were tired and had other things on your mind while you were reading it, and you didn’t truly appreciate every little nuance, like that part where I was talking to the Rottweiler. There is so much nuance in that scene that you wouldn’t even believe all of it if I told you.

I’m not asking you to commit fraud on online review sites. Certainly not. I’m just saying that if you didn’t think this book deserves five stars out of five, you might have been too worried about global warming to fully concentrate.

Your call. No pressure.

Anyway, the book is over now. Move along. Go read A Confederacy of Dunces.

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