Why Do Birds

CHAPTER 21

A limousine driven by a taciturn Jamaican took them from their hotel to the United States Embassy on Fleet Street. It was a bright December day; there were flags along the Embankment, and visibility on the Thames was a mile or more.

The ambassador, an effusive man named Ottoway, talked to Stone about protocol. "You don't sit until the monarch invites you to, you don't use any term of familiarity, you speak mainly when you're spoken to, you call him 'Your Royal Highness,' or 'Sir,' and that's about it."

"I don't have to wear those funny pants?" Stone asked. "No, no. It will be quite informal, you're not being knighted after all. Although that isn't out of the question, you know, some time in the future. Now, Mr. Stone, the King has asked to see you in private, with no one else present, not even myself. That's quite unusual, and, I may say, quite an honor."

"Is that right? What's he like?"

"Oh, quite an individual. You'll get a kick out of him."

The King of England advanced cordially and shook the visitor's hand as the equerry withdrew. "It's very good of you to come, Mr. Stone. Please sit down, won't you?" In a graceful maneuver, he himself contrived to sit before the visitor could disgrace himself by a faux pas.

"Now tell me," he continued, "what's all this about putting the whole human race in a giant building? I think it's quite fab, and so does Di."

"Well, Your Royal Highness," said Stone, "it's this way. The aliens told me we've got to do it so they can take us to another planet before the Earth is destroyed."

"Yes, and you say this event is going to take place in about twelve years?"

"I think that's what they were trying to tell me, Your Royal Highness."

"Call me 'Sir,' if you will; it's so much shorter. Now, Stone, I'm intensely curious to know, where is this other planet and what sort of place is it?"

"They didn't tell me that, Sir, but I think it must be a planet like the Earth, or they wouldn't take us there. I think it's a long way off, but that doesn't matter, because they can keep us in suspended animation for as long as it takes. That's what they did to me, I think, and I didn't know it was twenty ought two until I got here. "

"Sorry, I don't think I quite follow. You didn't know what year it was?"

"No, I thought it was still nineteen thirty-one, because that was when they kidnapped me."

"How bloody extraordinary! You must wait until Di comes home; I know she'll want to hear this. Now why do you think they kidnapped you in nineteen thirty-one and then brought you back this year?"

"I don't know, Sir. There's a lot of things they didn't tell me. Maybe they were waiting till they thought we were ready to build the box. Or maybe they went away for a while and came back."

"And did you actually see these aliens?"

"Yes, Sir. They're very small, and they have six legs."

"Six legs! Are they spiders?"

"No, Sir, more like octopuses."

"But octopuses have eight, surely?"

"Yes, Sir, but I just meant they're sort of squashy."

"Squashy! How devastating. Now tell me, are we all to be allowed to see these aliens, I mean will they come down and show themselves at some point?"

"Sir, I re ally don't know. They might just send their robots."

"Their robots! Oh, Di must hear this. How many legs do robots have?"

"They have six, too."

"Six or two?"

"No, I mean they have six also."

"Oh, I see. Six too. Then you think we might see the robots, at least."

"Yes, Sir, I think so. The robots come into my room at night and recharge my ring, and I think they put a helmet on my head to find out what's happening."

"Do they! And do you see them then?"

"No, Sir, because they wait till I'm asleep, but I can tell because of the dreams I have."

"I must say, this gets more and more fab. So, then, we'll all go into the building, will we, and wake up on a new planet?"

"Yes, Sir, and the reason I think we'll see the aliens, or the robots anyway, they've got to bring the gadget that puts people into suspended animation. Because we don't know how to do that."

"Oh, I see. But they might just come when everybody is asleep, mightn't they? That would be disappointing. Now about the building, who's going to do the design?"

"I don't know, Sir. I think probably there'll be a competition."

"Well, I hope you won't hire one of those architects who put up horrible square boxes without any character at all. Some plinths, at any rate, don't you think? A few columns and capitals?"

Something beeped on the royal person; the King looked at his watch. "Well, it's a pity Di isn't back, but I know you've got to go and see the Prime Minister, and I mustn't keep you." He rose. "I'm so glad we had this chat, Stone; it's been most invigorating."

"Thank you, Your Royal Highness. I had a swell time myself."