Why Do Birds

CHAPTER 19

There were six of them on the plane: Stone, Jaekel, three members of the Cube Group, and a political affairs adviser named Anthony Norton, ban-owed from the British Embassy.

The stewardess, whose name was Cindy, served them drinks and munchies in the lounge. Once they were airborne, they carried their glasses to the dining room and pulled up chairs around the table. Jaekel rummaged in a cabinet and produced a pack of cards and a carousel of chips. "Five card draw, dollar ante?" he asked.

"Is that poker?" asked Norton. "I'm afraid I don't play. "

Stone said, "You don't? You never played poker?"

"No, sorry. Bridge is my game."

"Bridge," Stone repeated. "Hey, you ought to learn to play poker. You want us to teach you?"

The others were smiling.

"I see I'm for it," Norton said. "All right, how do we begin?"

Jaekel spread cards on the table. "Here's the sequence of the hands. First is a pair. That's two aces, or two threes, or whatever. Next is two pair, then three of a kind." Norton began writing in a little notebook, using a slender gold scriber.

"Why does a flush beat a straight?" he asked. "I'd think it would be the other way round."

"Well, look, in a solitaire game, if you deal one card and you want to try for an open-ended straight, there are thirty-two cards that could improve your hand, sixteen lower than the first card and sixteen higher."

"Hm." Norton took his calculator out, punched keys, peered at the screen, punched again. "Oh. Yes, I see now. That's quite interesting."

"It is, huh? Well, who wants to be banker?"

Cooper, one of the Cube Group, won the first hand with deuces and fours. "Heavens, I had fives and treys," said Norton, "but I thought that wasn't good enough."

"Tony, you're not supposed to tell what you had. Somebody wants to know, they have to pay to find out."

"Oh, sorry. But how is it that you see people in holos winning with straight flushes and things?"

"That can happen, but two pair is a good hand in draw poker, nothing wild, no bug."

"Bug?"

"The joker. Now if you're playing something like deuces, threes, and one-eyed jacks wild, you might want to fold two low pairs. But that's a ladies' game."

"I see." Norton tapped keys on his calculator. "You don't mind me doing this? Working out the odds?"

"No, go ahead."

The deal passed to Jaekel. While he was shuffling, Frank Chesterton came in with his uniform jacket open. "Hey," he said, "if I'm not interrupting, you guys ought to see this. Come over to the left side of the airplane and take a look while I turn off the lights a minute."

They got up and went to the windows. When the cabin lights went out, they saw a pale violet light shivering in streamers against the moonlit sky.

"What the hell is that?"

"The aurora borealis. Northern lights."

"Holy Jesus. What causes it?"

"Ionization of the upper atmosphere."

"Oh, yeah? Hey, that's pretty amazing. Where are we now?"

"We're over the North Atlantic," Chesterton said.

"Jesus. What happens if we have to ditch?"

"Well, it's a long way back to NewYork, especially if you have to swim. You want the lights on again now?"

"Yeah."

Chesterton left, and they sat down again. Stone looked at his cards, then at the chips on the table. "Who didn't ante?"

Norton's play steadily improved, and he won two small pots, but after three hours he was a heavy loser. "I don't understand," he said. "I'm quite sure I've been playing the odds correctly."

"There's more to it than the odds," said Stone. "You want to cash in, guys? I'm tired."

"All right by me." Jaekel, the banker, began collecting chips and paying off. Stone was shuffling the deck meditatively while the others stood up, stretched, and left the room. "Good night," they called. "Sleep tight." "I wish I was." Somebody blew a raspberry; somebody else farted.

"You've been to Europe before, right?" Stone said to Norton.

"Oh, yes."

"What's it like over there? I mean, beside speaking different languages."

"Well, different customs, too. It varies from one country to another. By the way, I've brought some briefing papers on England, Germany, the Vatican, India and Japan, and I also have some training holos if you'd prefer those. Now, as to your question. I'd say that the principal difference is that Europeans of the upper classes tend to be more formal than Americans. They take politeness quite seriously. You may find them bowing a bit more. They won't call you by your Christian name straight away, and they'll expect you to call them Herr This and Monsieur That. If you speak any European language-you don't, do you?"

"No. Parly-voo fransay."

"Well, it would be a great help to you if you could learn. Anyhow, when you do speak their languages, you want to be careful to use the formal 'you,' not the intimate one."

"There's two different words for 'you'?"

"Oh, yes. In German, it's 'Sie' and 'du.' In French, 'vous' and 'tu. ' and in Spanish, 'usted ' and tu. ' "

"That's crazy. Why can't they have one word like we do?"

"Well, the intimate word is rather nice, in fact, between lovers."

"Oh, uh-huh."

"Now in Japanese, there are three or four different ways of addressing someone, depending on their status and relation to you. But the Japanese don't are ally expect Americans to speak Japanese; they think it's an affectation, in fact."

"They do? How come?"

"Well, it shows that you're trying to become Japanese, and they know you can't. One thing you should always bear in mind is that these people all believe their own language and culture are the best, and that anybody who comes from another culture is second-rate."

"Hey. That's funny, isn't it."

"Ah ...yes, it is."

"I guess it's natural, though."

"I'd say so."

Stone shifted in his chair. "So what you're telling me is I should be polite, and use the right fork, and not dunk my doughnuts in the coffee, right?"

"Yes, that sort of thing. But don't worry. You'll find they are gracious hosts, and they'll do their best to make you feel at home. As far as the language is concerned, most of the people you'll be meeting speak fluent English, and if there's any problem, you'll have good translators."

"You speak German?"

"Yes, fairly well."

"How do you say: 'Where's the bathroom?' "

"Wo ist das Kabinett?"

Stone repeated it thoughtfully. Then he asked, "How about Italian?"

''Dove e il gabinetto?''

"Hey, it's almost the same, isn't it?"

"Yes, it is. You'll find there are a great many correspondences of that kind among European languages, even when they belong to different families. Once you learn one language, it's very much easier to learn another one."

"It is, huh? When did you start?"

"At school, with German and French and a little Spanish. And Latin, of course. I picked up other things later."

"Uh-huh. You probably think I'm some kind of a hick."

"Oh, no."

"Well, I am. But I'll learn. I've got to."

''I'm sure you will. Good night."