Chapter Eighteen

Lina and her men returned to Daniel’s house later that afternoon from their cockatrice scouting mission with Mark, Doug, Oscar, Wally, and Callie. Elain still felt edgy, irritable. When Lina heard about the challenge and the result, she hugged Elain.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you when you needed me.”

“No, it’s okay. I didn’t know things were going to go the way they did.”

Callie laughed. “Sounds like you made an impression on those guys.”

“Well, at least on that one, I surely did.”

Lina got the car keys from Zack. “Where are you going?” he asked her.

“Us girls, including Mom, need to go talk to Lacey,” she said.

Mai looked up from the couch. “We do?”

“Yep.” Lina hooked her arm through Elain’s and brooked no resistance. “We do. Come on, ladies.”

“What about the burgers?” Brodey asked with a whine. “We’re just about to toss them on the barbecue.”

“We’ll be back, don’t worry,” Elain reassured him. “Go ahead.”

They all piled into Lina’s car and made the drive to Lacey’s house. The Seer opened her front door and stepped out onto her porch before Lina had even shut the car off. Jasper wagged his tail and bounded down the steps to greet them.

As Elain made her way up to the porch, she joked to Lacey, “Did you see us coming?”

Lacey smiled. “Lina texted me.”

Elain laughed. “Not so mysterious, then.”

“The only thing mysterious,” Lacey said, “is that my cell coverage is up to five bars today for some reason. Usually, I only get three.” She looked at Elain. “I’m guessing everything worked out?”

Elain felt her face grow red. With the heat of the battle fading, shame began to fill her over what she’d done. She could have stopped herself. She just hadn’t wanted to. “Yeah. It worked out.”

“Can we all go down to the thinking place with you?” Lina asked her.

“Of course. The more, the merrier. At least with this group. Are you sure you’re up for the walk?”

“I’m not due to download these two for a couple of months yet,” she quipped as she rubbed her belly.

Lacey retrieved Jasper’s leash and snapped it to his collar. They all headed down the path. Elain didn’t have the stomach to retell the events, so Mai did it for her. Elain’s shame grew as the story unfolded for the old Seer. Elain held back from the group as they walked until Carla slung an arm around her waist.

“You did what you had to, honey,” she whispered in Elain’s ear. “Maureen would have been proud of you.”

“I don’t feel very proud of myself.”

“He got what he deserved.”

“I could have stopped. I didn’t have to go that far.”

Callie hung back and flanked Elain’s other side. “Listen. Those kind of people only understand force. Period. Rodolfo Abernathy will think twice before fucking with this Clan or your pack. And I guarantee you Paul won’t make any more waves, either.”

Elain wished she felt the same. A nagging, shadowy feeling at the edge of her conscious wouldn’t go away. Like, no matter what anyone else said, this wasn’t the end of the war.

That maybe it was just the beginning.

Once they reached the rock on the shore, the women gathered around the old Seer.

She favored Elain with a kindly expression. “I know you’re not liking what you did, but see it for the act that it was.”

“What, me popping his balls like grapes?” Elain snarked.

Lacey smiled. “Protecting your pack and your Clan. It’s what a good Alpha wolf does. They stand up for their pack and Clan. They protect those weaker than themselves in their pack and Clan.”

Elain looked at her hands. She’d slipped off to the bathroom several times at Daniel’s house and scrubbed her hands again, so that her flesh looked red and felt nearly raw.

Lacey’s hands closed around hers and the old Seer waited until she looked up at her. “This isn’t the end of our Clan’s troubles by any stretch of the imagination. But today you established yourself as an Alpha not to be messed with. You did good, whether you like what you did or not. It’s our way.”

“I could have let him go.”

Lacey smiled. “Be honest. You wanted to kill him.”

Elain’s face heated even more, but why lie about it? She nodded.

Lacey laughed. “Elain, you haven’t known your inner wolf until just a few days ago. That is normal. That is what happens. What you should be proud of is you did have control. You might see what you did as going too far. There are those who would argue you didn’t go far enough. In olden days, had you not wanted him for your mate, it would have been completely acceptable for you to rip his throat out.”

Elain felt a little queasy at that despite what she’d felt earlier.

“In other words,” Lina said, “cut yourself a break.”

“He wouldn’t have cut you one,” Mai added. “If he’d come out on top, he would have gladly killed you if his grandfather told him to finish you off.”

“Without hesitation,” Lacey said.

Callie grabbed Elain’s hand. “Come on. I know what you need.” She led Elain off the rock and over to the surf, where they knelt beside the water. Callie held Elain’s hands in hers under the water, against the sandy bottom.

“Goddess above,” Callie chanted, “Goddess below. Goddess within, Goddess without. Goddess of all, hear my call. Clean and pure, swift and sure, bless this wolf, and bless us all.”

Elain felt a slight tingling in her hands, then a white light engulfed them both, startling her.

Callie apparently expected it, and didn’t let go. After a moment the light disappeared and Elain felt the pleasantly soft and yet gritty sensation of the sand against her palms.

“Clean,” Callie whispered, finally pulling Elain’s hands from the water while still holding them in her own. “Clean and pure. Innocent. Strong and protecting.” After a final squeeze, she released Elain.

Elain knelt there, staring at her hands for a moment, then looked at Callie. It did feel better somehow, lighter. Like a little of the stain on her soul had disappeared.

Callie smiled and nodded. “Perk of the rank,” she quipped, then hugged Elain.

Elain closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She felt the sun on her face, smelled the cool salt air from the ocean in her lungs, the scent of damp sand underfoot.

“Thank you,” she whispered in Callie’s ear.

“Hey, that’s why I’m here. They’re right, you did good. Now go home with your pack and enjoy life for a while until we have to kick those cockatrice’s asses again.”

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