Titan

21 March 2096: Evening

Several times over dinner Gaeta tried to tell Kris Cardenas that he had decided to fly the mission himself. As they ate at the tiny foldout table in their kitchen he tried to force the words out of his mouth. Each time he couldn’t think of how to get started. Cardenas chattered on about her day at the nanolab.

Did Tavalera tell her? he wondered. I’ll break that kid’s ass if he blabbed.

But Cardenas talked on as if nothing unusual had happened. Gaeta ate mechanically, his head bowed over his plate.

I can surf across the clouds of Jupiter, he said to himself, but I can’t tell this woman that I’m going to do something she doesn’t want me to do. Courage comes in funny packages.

At last Cardenas said, “Let me guess.”

He looked up at her. “Huh?”

Her expression had become serious. “You’re going out to the rings, aren’t you?”

“I was going to tell you,” he said. “I just didn’t know how.”

“I figured.”

“Raoul told you?”

Cardenas shook her head. “He was more cheerful than usual when he came back from lunch, but no, he didn’t say anything about the ring mission.”

“You scoped it out.”

“It didn’t take Sherlock Holmes, the way you’ve moped around all through dinner.”

“There’s no other way,” he said.

“Yes there is.” Cardenas’s blue eyes snapped at him. “You can tell Nadia that the whole thing’s off. Nobody takes any risks, nobody gets hurt.”

“Except Nadia.”

“She’ll live through it.”

“And if there really are things living in the rings?” Gaeta asked her. “If we start mining the rings we could kill them, wipe them out.”

“Has it occurred to you that if we start mining the rings, Nadia could get her samples then? And if she finds organisms in the ice particles she can raise a stink and the mining will be stopped.”

Gaeta sat in silence for long moments, digesting the idea. Then, “You think Eberly’ll stop the mining operation once he gets it started? You think the people in this bucket will agree to turn off the money spigot because we’re harming some microscopic ice creatures?”

“They’ll have to,” Cardenas said. “The IAA will force them to.”

“Not without a fight. And it could get real nasty, Kris. Goddard against the IAA. The rock rats’ll come in on our side. Maybe Selene, too. All of us, fighting against Earth.”

She stared at him. “You mean really fighting? Like a war? Bloodshed?”

“Like a war. With bloodshed.”

That silenced Cardenas for several moments. Gaeta could see the emotions conflicting across her face.

“Better to get out to the rings now and find out what’s what before they start mining,” he said.

Cardenas still sat in silence, her thoughts churning.

“Otherwise there could be real fighting. People could get killed,” Gaeta went on.

At last she looked up at him. “So you’re going to risk your life.”

He smiled at her. “That’s what I do for a living. Remember?”

“You retired.”

“I’m making a comeback.” He tried to make it sound light, almost funny. But Cardenas did not smile back at him.

“You want to go, don’t you?”

He hesitated, but then, “No, I don’t. I’m not some macho shithead. This thing scares me. It really does. But I’ve got to do it. There’s nobody else: not Pancho or Jake or Raoul or Wunderly herself. I’m the guy who can do it. The only guy. I love you, guapa, but it’s come down to this.”

Cardenas said, her voice low, “I love you, too.” She added silently, But right now I wish I didn’t.

They made love fiercely that night, as if it were the last time they’d ever be together.

Afterward, lying on his back and staring up into the shadows of their bedroom, Gaeta said to himself, Fool! Goddamn piojoso idiot. To risk all this: this woman who loves you, this life she’s given you. For what? Why? But he knew the answer: because nobody else can do it. At least I’ve got a chance of getting through this alive. I’d be killing Pancho and Jake if I let them try it. This way at least the only one who’ll get killed will be me.

Lying beside him, Cardenas was thinking, If Manny dies on this damned mission I’ll kill Nadia. I’ll tear her apart with my bare hands.

Wanamaker told Pancho and Pancho, of course, told her sister. Holly was in her apartment trying to write a speech when Pancho phoned. Holly had put in a grueling day that culminated with meeting the committee that Estela Yañez was setting up to get the required number of signatures for the repeal of the ZPG protocol. Mrs. Yañez had proudly shown the women that her husband’s signature led all the others.

Feeling slightly annoyed at the interruption, Holly was about to let the automated answering chip take the message when she saw that it was her sister calling.

Pancho’s face replaced the words of her unfinished speech on the wall screen.

“Got news for you,” Pancho said, grinning like a canary-stuffed cat.

“Hope it’s good news,” said Holly, stifling a yawn.

“Manny’s gonna go into the rings. I’ll fly the bird with Jake as my number two.”

Holly blinked once, twice.

“The guys were gonna strong-arm Tavalera into flying with Jake, but now they don’t have to.”

“Oh,” said Holly. “I didn’t realize they wanted to drag Raoul into this.”

“He’ll run mission control. From here in the habitat.”

“Oh,” Holly said again, feeling dense, foggy.

Pancho’s grin widened. “If I were you, sis, I’d give your boyfriend a call, congratulate him. Mission control’s an important assignment.”

Holly shook her head. “He’d see through me.”

“So what?”

“I couldn’t, Panch. It’d just make things worse.”

Pancho put on a mock frown. “Listen, little sister. You come down offa that high horse and call the guy. You want him, don’tcha? Then let him know it!”

“Thanks for the advice, Panch.”

Her sister knew when she was being dismissed. “Getting advice is easy, kid. Taking advice is smart.”

The screen went dark.

Holly returned to her speech. Jeeps, she said to herself, if I’d known that running for office was this tough I would never have done it. She had asked Zeke Berkowitz to help her with the speech writing, but Berkowitz had declined as graciously as he could manage. “I’m running the news coverage, Holly,” he explained. “I’ve got to be impartial.”

Holly decided to look through the personnel files and see if there were any writers or journalists in the habitat who might help her. The names blurred as she studied them on the smart wall screen. I oughtta go to bed, Holly told herself, before I fall asleep here at my desk. Then the phone chirped again.

Raoul Tavalera, she saw printed on the screen’s info bar. Suddenly she wasn’t sleepy or groggy at all.

“Raoul!” she exclaimed, as his glum face appeared on the screen.

“Hi,” he said. “What do you want to talk to me about?”

Surprised, Holly replied, “You called me.”

“Yeah. Your sister said you needed to talk to me about something important.”

Pancho! Holly’s first reaction was a flash of anger. But then she saw Raoul looking at her, his dark eyes focused on her. Pancho told him to call me and he did, even at this hour of the night.

Recovering her poise, Holly said evenly, “I wanted to congratulate you on taking the job as mission controller for the ring mission. It’s a very important position.”

Tavalera almost smiled. “Gaeta’s going to go into the rings. Your sister and her boyfriend are going to fly the spacecraft.”

Nodding, Holly said, “Yes, Pancho told me.”

Neither of them spoke for several heartbeats. Then Tavalera asked, “Is that what you wanted to talk to me about?”

She started to nod, then caught herself. “No, Raoul. There’s something more.”

“What?”

Gathering her courage, Holly sat up straighter and said to him, “Raoul, I’m sorry that I made you think I was only interested in you because I wanted you to fly the ring mission. I fell in love with you before the silly mission ever came up.”

There! she thought. I’ve said it. I’ve used the L word. She held her breath, waiting for his response.

Tavalera’s stony expression melted. His eyes seemed to glow. “Jesus, Holly, I love you, too.”

She felt like dancing across the room. “Come on over here, Raoul. And bring a bottle of wine.”

“Champagne!” he said, grinning a mile wide.