The Year's Greatest Science Fiction & Fantasy 6

I’ve been drinking since last Wednesday

And I should be getting high,

But the dehydration’s got me

And all I am is dry.

Can’t get no edge on—got radiation blues.

When the sun went down last evening,

I went walking in the park.

Didn’t mind those busted street lights,

I was glowing in the dark,

Just call me glow-worm—got radiation blues.

Had a wake for Jake the barber,

One long drink and one short prayer.

Went and shot himself this morning,

‘Cause the whole town lost it’s hair.

Came out in handfuls—’got radiation blues.

Ain’t no use in going no place,

Whole damn world is just like here.

Boss men really fixed us this time,

Think I’ll have another beer.

Ain’t no use singing those radiation blues.

II

“What you gonna do when the gas go off,

And the cook stove don’t work, baby?

What you gonna do when the gas go off,

When there ain’t no gas no more?”

“Why I’ll send me a letter by the postal man,

For my love to take me dining.

Never cared ‘bout cooking for myself nohow,

I’ll just lock that kitchen door.”

III

“What you gonna do when the water go off?

What you gonna drink then, baby?

What you gonna do when tie water go off,

And you start a-getting dry?”

“Why I got me a bottle of champagne wine

My true love gave me Sunday.

And when that bottle am all drunk up—

Just set me down and cry.”

IV

“What you gonna do when the rockets come,

And the whole town blow up, baby?

What you gonna do when the rockets come,

And that trumpet start to blow?”

“Why I’ll put on my party dress,

And watch the sky a-falling,

‘Cause the Lord’s a-waiting for to raise me up,

When it comes my time to go.”

I got paid off on Lyra one. I left that deep space boat.

I went downtown to the barrooms there, just to wet my throat.

The Shoshonu were all around, and one sat down with me.

Oh, what’ll I do with my Shoshonu?

And what’ll she do with me?

She hadn’t moulted her humanoid form; she was pretty as could be.

She turned her big eyes up to mine, and smiled soulfully.

But she slipped a mickey in my drink, when she got home with me.

Oh, what’ll I do with my Shoshonu?

And what’ll she do with me?

When I woke up the wedding was on, and I was saying, “Yes—”

The High Shoshonu’s six-foot fangs two inches from my vest.

The relatives were all around, they swarmed all over me.

Oh, what’ll I do with my Shoshonu?

And what’ll she do with me?

Her father gave us a ton of gold; her mother gave us jewels.

The rest of the tribe pitched in on a house, complete with swimming pools.

They said, “Take care of our little girl—she’s about to moult, you see.”

Oh, what’ll I do with my Shoshonu?

And what’ll she do with me?

So I’m sitting here with a drink in my hand, as worried as I can be.

When a Shoshonu moults, she turns into a dragon, rough-el-ly.

It’s our wedding night. She’s moulting now. And it makes them hung-ger-ry.

Oh, what’ll I do with my Shoshonu?

And what’ll—she—do—with—me?