The Witches of Chiswick

25

“But,” said Tim McGregor. “I mean – Well, die in the past? I mean, you’re here now. You didn’t die in the past, did you? I mean—”

Tim was sitting in the very place that the other Will had been sitting, three centuries before. It was even the same chair. Will had sat him down there on purpose, of course. Same chair. Same table. Same pub. Same part-time barman actually, but we’ll have to get to that at some other time.

“Pretty complicated stuff, eh?” said Will. “Which is why I wanted to go on to drinking halves. I was involved in all this, and I have a problem following the plot.”

“Tell me about the chaps at the police station,” said Tim. “Constable Tenpole Tudor, and Policewoman Higgins and Chief Inspector Sam Maggott. They were from here, right? From now. What were they doing back there?”

“I’ll get to that at some other time.” Will chewed upon Tim’s pork scratchings. “These taste exactly the same,” he said. “But listen, you can imagine my dilemma, can’t you? What was I to do? I was sworn to hunt down Rune’s murderer—”

“I assume that wasn’t your other self. He wasn’t Jack the Ripper.”

“No,” said Will. “He wasn’t. But, you see, I’d now got myself in pretty deep. Obviously I would do things that would change the future. Obviously, because there was my other self sitting right where you’re sitting now. But I wanted to do things of my own free will. Be in charge of my own destiny. Be in control.”

“But hold on,” said Tim. “Surely the future didn’t get changed. I’ve never seen a copy of The Book Of Rune. There’s been no war with Mars, or the British Empire ruling the world. Nothing has changed. But, fair dos, you’re trying your best to explain it all. So what happened next, and what had happened to your other self in the past?”

“Well, what happened next wasn’t too much fun and what had happened to him was no laughing matter at all. You see he’d travelled to the past and—”

“They were waiting for me,” said the other Will. “The witches. They’d read The Book Of Rune too, hadn’t they? They knew exactly when I’d arrive. And where. In a rented room in Miller’s Court. The room rented by Hugo Rune. He was supposed to be waiting for me there, with a bottle of champagne to toast my safe arrival. But he wasn’t there.”

“No,” said Will, “he was out buying the champagne, or at least acquiring champagne. I doubt that he actually paid for it. I met him outside in the street. That’s where I appeared.”

“Yes,” said the other Will. “That would be it. You would be the one who met him and was taught by him.”

“Please go on with your story,” said Will. “There may be a way out of this for both of us.”

“There’s no way out. We’re doomed.”

“Not necessarily so.”

“That’s what I thought. I had a plan you see. When they escorted me to the time machine to send me off to save the world and die in the process, I didn’t struggle, I didn’t try to escape. I behaved with dignity, because I had a plan.”

“Go on,” said Will.

“Escape,” said the other Will. “Escape from them. My watchers and my protectors and the witch assassins who were constantly trying to kill me. I planned to escape from them all. I couldn’t do it there in the future, but I reasoned that I could in the past. I’d let them send me. I couldn’t stop them. But once I was here, I figured that I’d do things my way. I wouldn’t play their games. I’d play my games. I’d just vanish. No heroics and no death for me. I’d get myself a quiet little job, settle down and marry a nice Victorian girl. Have some kids; maybe they would be my own great- great- great- and-whatever-grandparents. But I wouldn’t get involved in any world-savings.”

Will shrugged and smiled a little too. “That’s probably what I would have done,” said he.

“That’s exactly what you would have done, chief,” said Barry.

“So what happened?” Will asked.

“I’ve told you what happened, they were waiting for me. The moment I appeared in the time machine they grabbed me and the time machine.”

“Hang about,” said Will. “The witches captured you and they captured the time machine. When I first met Rune and he took me to his lodgings, his room was a mess, he said the witches had been there. They captured you there, did they?”

“That’s what happened,” said the other Will.

“So the witches then had their own time machine?”

“Obviously.”

“Obviously,” said Will with some degree of thoughtfulness. “Except that I have been told another story entirely. All about a time machine that was built here in the Victorian era and then was stolen. All sorts of things in fact.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” said the other Will. “There’s only one time machine.”

“Then I have been lied to,” Will wiggled his finger into his right ear. “In fact I’ve been told a right pack of lies.”

“No, come on, chief, it’s not what you think.”

Will turned his face away from his other self. “It’s exactly what I think,” he said. “You lied to me, Barry. All that talk about you being fitted into Mr Wells’ time machine.”

“I was,” said Barry. “Well, for a bit anyway, so Mr Wells could have a little test of it himself. Rune knew he wouldn’t be able to resist it and Rune wanted to borrow some more money from him.”

“So you never travelled into my future? It wasn’t you who brought me here?”

“No, chief. The witches sent their terminators in your other self’s time machine.”

“Then why didn’t you tell me this?”

“Because, chief, I was hoping that you’d never bump into your other self. He’s just complicating the issue.”

“So you knew he was here all the time?”

“I might have, chief.”

“You might have?”

“You’re at it again,” said Will’s other self. “Conversing with your demon.”

“I’m not conversing with a demon!” Will turned back to his other self. “It’s not like that. Although,” and he said these words to himself, “I’m beginning to wonder.”

“I heard that, chief. And it’s not true. I’m one of the good guys. I’m just trying to protect you.”

“Perhaps,” said Will and he turned back to face his other self. “Please tell me,” said Will, “what happened to you, after you arrived in this time? These witches, they captured you?”

“Yes, that’s what they did. They were waiting for me in Rune’s lodgings. They grabbed me and they took the time machine. I was captured. I was helpless.”

“So why didn’t they just kill you and have done with it?” Will asked.

“Good question, chief.”

“Good question,” said the other Will.

“So what’s the answer?”

“I’m the answer,” said the other Will. “I told them the truth. That I didn’t want to be any Messiah. That I just wanted to be left alone. I was terrified by them. They’re horrible. Fearful. They couldn’t understand that. They were expecting some kind of fearless superhero. And they kept asking me about a painting, called The Fairy Feller’s Masterstroke. It’s mentioned in The Book of Rune. But I told them I’d never heard of, nor seen, such a picture, because I haven’t. So they sent a robot into the future in the time machine. But the time machine returned without it, so they sent another one and the time machine never returned. But it did return, didn’t it, and you were in it.”

Will nodded, thoughtfully. This did seem to tie up a lot of loose ends. “So then they just kept you imprisoned,” he said.

The other Will nodded, glumly. “They tormented me, forced me to stitch Chiswick Townswomen’s Guild needlepoint cushions for them, and stuff lavender bags. They even made me judge the most-blackest black cat competition.”

“Doesn’t sound all that bad,” said Will.

“And they kept me in a cage and fed me on rats.”

“Rats?”

“And worms,” said the other Will.

“Nasty,” said Will.

“Very nasty,” said the other Will. “For months and months and months in a filthy cellar. In a cage. I planned my escape. Rats’ jaws I used. To saw through the bars. Hundreds of rats’ jaws. It took me over a year, but I finally escaped.”

“That’s dreadful,” said Will. “Really dreadful.”

“And it’s all your fault.”

“It’s not my fault. But how did you come to be covered in blood and arrested as being Jack the Ripper?”

“I didn’t know what to do. The only thing I could think of was to find Hugo Rune. Try and reason with him. I was pretty messed up. I am pretty messed up.”

“I see,” said Will. “And after the witches discovered that you’d escaped, they went looking for you and I suppose that eventually they came to the conclusion that you’d go looking for Hugo Rune, which is why they sent one of their robots to Rune’s room, which was where I was. Which is when I met Barry.”

“Barry, your demon?”

“He’s not my demon. But you were arrested, covered in blood. What happened to you?”

“I saw it,” said the other Will. “I was hiding in an alleyway. I saw it all. I was out of my mind. I’d been imprisoned, tortured, fed on rats and worms, but I’d escaped and then I saw that.”

“What did you see?” Will asked.

“I saw it. The thing that killed those women. I saw it kill Hugo Rune. I saw it. I saw it kill and I was showered with the blood of its killing.”

“It?” said Will. “A robot, was it?”

“Not a robot. Not a person. Something far worse. Something utterly monstrous. I saw it. And then I blacked out. I don’t know what happened after that. Days must have passed, and the next thing I knew I was being hauled into the Whitechapel police station, accused of being Jack the Ripper. I even thought I was, when they arrested me.”

“And then I rescued you from the cell.”

The other Will hung his head. “That’s it,” he said. “That’s what happened.”

“But what was this thing? This thing that killed those women and killed Hugo Rune. If it wasn’t a robot and wasn’t a man?”

“What was it?” the other Will stared at Will with wide mad eyes. “What do you think it was? What is it that witches worship? What is it that seeks to control this world? Reorder history so that it is in control? Not any man and not any robot. That thing I saw was the devil himself, Will.

“That thing was Satan.”