The Silent Thaw

Chapter 3

“Come on, Shadowpaw! The moon’s rising and your Clanmates are waiting to see you off.” Puddleshine blinked at Shadowpaw from the medicine-den entrance, his pelt fluffed with pride.

Inside, Shadowpaw kept his eyes on the chervil he was shredding. He was supposed to be traveling to the Moonpool to receive his medicine-cat name. He knew he should be excited, but he couldn’t help feeling he hadn’t earned it yet. “I want to finish stripping these stems.”

“They can wait.” Puddleshine’s tail twitched eagerly.

Shadowpaw’s pelt itched with worry. He’d wanted to tell his mentor for days that he was uncertain about receiving his medicine-cat name, but the time had never seemed right. “But I’m not ready.”

“Of course you’re ready,” Puddleshine sounded impatient. “You have your whiskers and tail. What else do you need?”

“I mean I’m not ready to be a medicine cat.” Shadowpaw didn’t dare look at his mentor. Was he letting Puddleshine down? “I haven’t learned enough.”

“You’ve learned plenty,” Puddleshine told him.

“But there’s so much I don’t know yet.”

“Medicine cats never stop learning. That doesn’t mean they’re not ready to help their Clanmates.” Puddleshine padded nearer, until Shadowpaw felt his mentor’s pelt brush his flank. “You’re bound to be nervous, but it’s okay. You can do this.” He caught Shadowpaw’s gaze warmly and held it. “I know I haven’t always been sure about your visions in the past, Shadowpaw, but I’ve always believed that you were special. And now that you’ve saved Bramblestar, every cat knows it.”

Shadowpaw’s belly tightened as he remembered the dreadful vigil he’d sat beside the dying ThunderClan leader. StarClan had told him the only way to save Bramblestar from the fever that held him between life and death was to take him onto the frozen moor and expose him to the cold. The treatment had killed him, but it had made way for his next life. Now Bramblestar was healthy and strong again, and ThunderClan had its leader back. As his thoughts drifted, Shadowpaw realized that Puddleshine was still speaking. He jerked his attention back to his mentor.

“Your Clanmates feel lucky to have you as their medicine cat,” Puddleshine mewed.

“I don’t see why.” Shadowpaw looked at the ground. “I’m just the same as I always was.”

“But you’ve made ShadowClan special with your connection to StarClan. Our ancestors haven’t spoken to any other medicine cat while the Moonpool’s been frozen. After so many troubled moons, it feels as though ShadowClan has StarClan’s blessing again. It’s made all of us feel proud.”

Shadowpaw shifted his paws self-consciously. “ShadowClan should feel proud without me.”

“I know it must feel like a big responsibility, but StarClan clearly thinks you’re special, or they wouldn’t have chosen you. They must think you’re ready to be a full medicine cat.”

Shadowpaw returned his gaze. “But are you sure?”

“I am,” Puddleshine told him gently. “And you’ll be sure too after tonight. The Moonpool will be thawing, and we’ll finally be able to share with StarClan once more.” He leaned closer. “Everything is going to be fine, once you’ve spoken with our ancestors—once we’ve all spoken with them again.” Puddleshine padded to the den entrance, his tail fluffed happily. “Don’t tell any cat I said this, but I was starting to worry that we’d offended them. But if we had, they wouldn’t have spoken to you, would they?” He blinked brightly at Shadowpaw.

“I guess not.” Unease wormed in Shadowpaw’s belly as he followed his mentor out of the den. Would Puddleshine be so proud of him if he knew he was holding something back? Bramblestar’s fever cure wasn’t the only thing StarClan had shared with him. They’d also warned him about the codebreakers. The Clans have forgotten the code, a voice from StarClan had whispered. It has been broken time and time again, and because of the codebreakers, every Clan must pay a price. They must suffer. Images of Twigbranch and Lionblaze had flashed before him. Crowfeather, Squirrelflight, Mothwing, Jayfeather . . . Remembering this, Shadowpaw was frightened, his breath catching in his chest as he pictured again the last cat who’d appeared in his vision—Dovewing. How could his mother be a codebreaker? She was a good cat, wasn’t she?

He had told Tigerstar about the vision, of course, and he remembered how his father’s eyes had darkened when he’d heard Dovewing’s name among the other cats. You must keep it to yourself. His father’s words still rang in his head. Shadowpaw was sure StarClan wanted him to share this terrible vision, and yet he must obey his leader. He swallowed. But I’m a medicine cat—by dawn he’d have his full medicine-cat name. Wasn’t his first duty to StarClan?

Shadowpaw shook out his fur as he followed Puddleshine into the clearing. His Clanmates clustered around the edge, murmuring excitedly as he walked past them. Pouncestep’s and Lightleap’s eyes shone. Strikestone puffed out his chest, while Scorchfur and Grassheart exchanged glances, as though agreeing with each other that they were lucky to have a medicine cat like Shadowpaw.

Shadowpaw’s pelt felt hot. He avoided the gaze of his Clanmates. What would they say if they knew he was keeping a vision from them?

“Shadowpaw.” Dovewing hurried to meet him as he crossed the clearing. “I’m so proud of you.” Her eyes began to shimmer with emotion, and she licked the top of his head fiercely. “You’re going to be a wonderful medicine cat.”

“He already is.” Tawnypelt padded toward him, purring. “He helped Bramblestar move safely to his next life.” She stopped a tail-length away and blinked at him gratefully. “Bramblestar was my littermate. I don’t know what I would have done if he’d never come back.” With StarClan so oddly silent, the medicine cats had feared for a while that Bramblestar wouldn’t be able to return for his next life.

Shadowpaw forced himself to blink happily at Tawnypelt. Dovewing had stepped away and was gazing at him lovingly. How could he expose her as a codebreaker? She’d never hurt any cat.

Tigerstar was waiting at the entrance.

As Shadowpaw saw him, Puddleshine looked back expectantly. “We’d better hurry, Shadowpaw,” he mewed. “The other medicine cats will be waiting. If the Moonpool really is thawing, we’ll be able to commune with StarClan again—we don’t want to miss that.”

Shadowpaw quickened his pace, relieved to be leaving his Clanmates behind. Their admiration was making him uncomfortable. He nodded to Tigerstar, hoping that his father wouldn’t want to make a fuss, but Tigerstar blocked his way. “You’ve earned your name,” he mewed fondly. “I know you’ll make a wise and loyal medicine cat who will always act in ShadowClan’s best interest.” He spoke slowly, and Shadowpaw could tell that Tigerstar wanted him to hear another meaning beneath his words. He’s warning me not to tell the other medicine cats about the vision.

“I’ll do my best, I promise.” Nervously, he met his father’s gaze, hoping Tigerstar couldn’t hear the quiver in his voice.

Tigerstar purred and gently nudged Shadowpaw after his mentor. “I hope you like your new name,” he called after him.

Shadowpaw hurried into the moonlit forest. He wondered what his new name would be. Had his father helped Puddleshine choose it? For the first time, excitement tingled in his paws. He was going to become a medicine cat. He’d dreamed of this moment since he was a kit. He just hoped that he could live up to the faith his Clanmates—and StarClan—had put in him.

The trek to the Moonpool was cold, but the air didn’t have the stony chill of the past few moons, when the stream trickling down from the pool and even the Moonpool itself had been frozen. As he scrambled up the rocks after Puddleshine and leaped over the lip of the stone hollow, Shadowpaw’s pelt rippled nervously. He hoped he wouldn’t make any mistakes during the ceremony. What if he didn’t like his new name?

The half-moon shone in a clear black sky. Shadowpaw could see silhouettes lined around the Moonpool, as still as rocks. The others were here. Puddleshine led him down the spiraling path, dimpled by countless moons of paw steps.

Jayfeather got to his paws first as they neared. “You’re here.” The blind medicine cat sounded pleased. Alderheart padded to his Clanmate’s side and greeted Puddleshine and Shadowpaw with a nod.

Willowshine’s eyes sparkled. “Are you nervous?” she asked Shadowpaw.

“A bit.” Shadowpaw glanced at the Moonpool. Stretches of open water gleamed between white patches of ice.

Kestrelflight followed his gaze. “It’s beginning to thaw.” The WindClan medicine cat’s pelt was fluffed. He sounded hopeful. “StarClan will be able to hear us tonight.”

“They could always hear us,” Jayfeather growled. “They just couldn’t speak.”

“They could speak to Shadowpaw,” Puddleshine reminded him gently.

Shadowpaw noticed Frecklewish look away. Was that doubt in her gaze? Did she wonder why StarClan had picked him? He wasn’t surprised. He’d wondered too. He blinked at the SkyClan medicine cat apologetically. “I’m sure they would have spoken to you if they could,” he told her.

“StarClan knows best,” Jayfeather mewed firmly. On the edge of the Moonpool, Mothwing stood, the dappled golden she-cat looking like she was biting her tongue while the others discussed their ancestors. Puddleshine had told Shadowpaw that, of all the medicine cats, Mothwing had the trickiest relationship with StarClan.

Frecklewish frowned. “It is strange that the only cat they could reach was the youngest and most inexperienced medicine cat.”

Puddleshine flicked his tail. “Perhaps his youth makes him easier to talk to. He’s not so bound by Clan tradition.”

Frecklewish looked at the ShadowClan medicine cat. “Is that meant to be a good thing?”

“That’s rich coming from a SkyClan cat,” Willowshine put in. “You lived away from Clan traditions for moons. It didn’t seem to do you any harm.”

“This is supposed to be a celebration.” Jayfeather padded between the cats, his pelt sleek in the moonlight. “Let’s stop arguing about who StarClan is supposed to speak to and get on with Shadowpaw’s ceremony. Then we can all share with StarClan at last.”

Silently, Kestrelflight, Willowshine, and Alderheart fanned out around the pool. Jayfeather sat on the smooth, cold rock while Frecklewish and Fidgetflake moved closer, watching as Puddleshine led Shadowpaw to the water’s edge.

Shadowpaw’s heart quickened. He pricked his ears, trying to remember when he was supposed to speak.

“I, Puddleshine of ShadowClan, call upon my warrior ancestors to look down on this apprentice.” His mentor raised his eyes to the sky, addressing the stars. Can they see me? Shadowpaw swallowed back anxiety as Puddleshine went on. “Shadowpaw has trained hard to understand the ways of a medicine cat, and with your help he will serve his Clan for many moons.”

Puddleshine fixed Shadowpaw with his gaze. “Do you promise to uphold the ways of a medicine cat, to stand apart from rivalry between Clan and Clan . . .”

Shadowpaw’s thoughts whirled. What if StarClan is angry I haven’t passed on their vision about the codebreakers? Will they stop me becoming a medicine cat? Shadowpaw glanced at the sky, half expecting to see the stars blink out and disappear. But they glittered on. He realized Puddleshine was looking at him expectantly. It’s my turn!

“I do!” he mewed quickly. His mew echoed around the rock walls of the hollow.

“Then by the powers of StarClan I give you your true name as a medicine cat. Shadowpaw, from this moment you will be known as Shadowsight. StarClan honors your insight, your courage, and your kindness, and we welcome you as a full medicine cat of ShadowClan.” Puddleshine touched his nose to Shadowpaw’s head, and Shadowpaw licked his mentor’s shoulder gratefully.

Relief washed over his pelt. He was a medicine cat. The sky hadn’t fallen in. Clouds hadn’t billowed across the moon. Perhaps StarClan was happy that he had his medicine-cat name.

“Shadowsight!”

“Shadowsight!”

Around the Moonpool, the medicine cats lifted their voices and yowled into the night. Shadowsight blinked. How strange to be called by a new name. He liked it. He thought of the healer cat he’d once known, from the city. Spiresight had helped bring his family back to ShadowClan. Tigerstar must have told Puddleshine about him when they’d gotten back. How else could his mentor have known the name? Shadowsight had been a young kit during the journey, but he remembered the strange old cat well. He’d been wise and brave—he’d died saving Pouncekit’s life—and he’d once said that Shadowsight would see into shadows. Did the old tom know that one day he’d share visions with StarClan? Shadowsight wasn’t sure Spiresight even knew what StarClan was, but he was proud to share part of his name.

As the medicine cats’ yowls faded into echoes, Willowshine hurried toward Shadowsight. “Do you feel any different?”

“I don’t know.” Shadowsight shook out his pelt, wondering if he did feel different. The rock still felt icy beneath his paws, and his tail still felt feathery and light. His anxiousness was gone. “I think I’m just pleased to be a medicine cat.”

Willowshine’s eyes sparkled. “It feels great, doesn’t it? Wait till you get home. The older cats will start treating you with respect. And when you’re busy in your den, apprentices will bring you prey.” She purred. “There’s more responsibility, of course, but Puddleshine will still help you. And learning new things is half the fun.”

“Congratulations.” Alderheart wove around him.

“StarClan will be pleased,” Kestrelflight mewed, his gaze sparkling with approval.

Puddleshine blinked at Shadowsight. “Do you feel ready now?”

“I think so.” As Shadowsight blinked at him happily, Jayfeather crouched at the edge of the Moonpool, where a clear stretch of water rippled against the stone. Alderheart ducked down beside him, and Kestrelflight padded to a patch on the far edge where the ice had thawed. Willowshine hurried to settle on his other side, fluffing out her pelt as she stretched her nose toward the water.

“Come on.” Puddleshine nosed Shadowsight to the water’s edge and crouched down. Shadowsight crouched next to him, closing his eyes as he stretched his muzzle forward and touched his nose to the surface of the Moonpool. Would StarClan greet him warmly? Would they tell him if he was supposed to share his vision about the codebreakers with the other medicine cats? He could ask them whether his loyalty should be to them or to his Clan leader. Hope flickered in his chest, and he squeezed his eyes tightly shut as the searing cold of the Moonpool stung his nose. He held it to the water as it grew colder and colder, wondering how long before StarClan would appear.

He willed them to come. Please talk to me. Was he doing it wrong? Perhaps StarClan didn’t want to speak to him because he hadn’t earned his medicine-cat name after all. He dipped his nose lower, holding his breath as the icy water engulfed his muzzle. Nothing happened. His heart lurched. Where was StarClan? Lifting his head, he shook the water from his nose. The other medicine cats were sitting up, gazing at one another with wide, frightened eyes.

“They didn’t come.” Willowshine was the first to speak. She looked hopefully around at the others, as though she thought they might explain. No cat spoke. Jayfeather’s blind blue gaze was dark. Kestrelflight’s pelt pricked nervously along his spine as Puddleshine glanced at the sky. Shadowsight forced his paws not to tremble. StarClan was still silent. The thawing of the Moonpool hadn’t brought them back. Where were they? Why were they silent?

“Did they speak to you?” Puddleshine whispered.

“No.” As Shadowsight answered, he saw Frecklewish staring at him. Her gaze seemed to burn in the darkness. Was that an accusation in her eyes?

Shadowsight shrank beneath his fur. He had been so sure that StarClan would return now that the Moonpool was thawing—they all had been. But their ancestors had stayed silent, not speaking to any cat. Not even me. Dizzy with fear, he tucked his paws closer beneath him. Is this my fault?