The Silent Thaw

Chapter 15

As dusk softened the shadows of the pine forest, Shadowsight scratched delicately at the earth and leaned down to sniff a crack where new shoots were pushing open the soil. The fresh scent of marigold leaves touched his nose, and he sat up, satisfaction warming his belly. It had been more than three days since Bramblestar’s impromptu Gathering, and new plants were now growing a short walk from camp. For a moment he thought only about herbs and the ointments he’d be able to mix once newleaf coaxed the first sign of fresh growth into full leaf. But as he gazed into the shadowy woods, his doubts returned. The satisfaction he’d felt at the sprouting marigold faded, and a chill crept through his fur.

Had he been right to tell the other medicine cats about his vision? Nothing had changed. There was still no sign of StarClan, and since the Gathering, prey hadn’t been running any better in ShadowClan’s part of the forest. Snowbird’s broken paw was healing just as slowly. What had he expected? For StarClan to send him a vision congratulating him? He got to his paws. Of course there’d be no vision. But he had expected to feel a sense of relief at having shared the names of the codebreakers with the other Clans. Instead he only seemed to have succeeded in putting Dovewing in danger, just as Tigerstar has predicted. Bramblestar seemed determined to exact some sort of punishment on the codebreakers. There had been no talk of forgiveness.

“Shadowsight.” Dovewing’s call jerked him from his thoughts. His mother was padding through the forest toward him, her eyes warm with affection. “There you are.” She stopped beside him and touched her nose to his ear.

Shadowsight blinked at her, worried. Why was she looking for him? He hadn’t been out of camp long. “Does Puddleshine need me?”

“No.” Dovewing glanced around the forest. “I was worried about you, that’s all. You’ve seemed distracted since the Gathering.”

“I’m fine.” Shadowsight brushed loose soil gently over the crack in the earth to protect the new shoots and began to pad back to camp.

Dovewing fell in beside him. “You’re worried about your vision, aren’t you?”

“I’m not sure I should have shared it,” he admitted. “I think it might have caused more trouble than it solved.”

“You did what you thought was right,” Dovewing told him gently.

“Tigerstar didn’t think it was right.” His father had hardly spoken to him since he’d shared the vision.

“He’ll come around. He’ll see that you did the right thing.” Dovewing’s pelt brushed Shadowsight’s. “Eventually.”

“But what if I didn’t?” Shadowsight glanced at his mother. “I got you in trouble, maybe even Tigerstar. Bramblestar wouldn’t even listen to him at the Gathering.”

“Bramblestar has just got a burr in his pelt about codebreakers,” she told him. “He didn’t want to listen to any cat.”

“But he must have been thinking that if you’re a codebreaker, Tigerstar is too.”

“Your father is a loyal and honorable warrior,” she reminded him. “He only broke the code when he had no other choice—and no cat could do more than he has done to uphold it since.”

“But what if he’s named too?” Shadowsight’s tail twitched nervously. “Will he be allowed to remain ShadowClan’s leader?”

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” she soothed. “The Clan respects him. Without him, there might be no ShadowClan. No cat’s going to stop him being leader.”

“But surely you’ve heard the whispers.” Shadowsight lowered his voice as they neared the camp entrance. “Scorchfur was telling Yarrowleaf that StarClan might be angrier at ShadowClan than any other Clan because of you and Tigerstar.”

“I hope you told him that’s nonsense,” Dovewing mewed sharply. “If StarClan is angry with me and Tigerstar, they won’t punish our Clanmates for it.” She ducked through the bramble tunnel. Shadowsight watched her go, wondering what it was going to take for her to really listen to him.

As Shadowsight followed her in, he was aware of their Clanmates eyeing him. Berryheart looked up from the mouse she was eating and narrowed her eyes. Snaketooth followed her gaze, her ears twitching. Shadowsight’s pelt prickled self-consciously. He knew that they thought he was a traitor for betraying one of their Clanmates in the list of codebreakers.

He lowered his gaze as he headed toward the medicine den, relieved that Dovewing was with him. “They think I made the wrong choice,” he murmured to Dovewing, pointing his muzzle toward the two warriors.

“Whorlpelt thinks you did the right thing.” Dovewing dipped her head politely to the gray-and-white tom as they passed him. “Plenty of your Clanmates think we need to atone so that StarClan can come back.”

“But not all.” Resentment jabbed at Shadowsight’s belly. “They were happy enough when I was the only medicine cat who was hearing from StarClan. But now that I’ve brought news they don’t like, they say I’m too inexperienced to understand.”

Dovewing paused as they reached the medicine den and ran her tail along his spine. “I know it hurts to have your Clanmates say mean things about you. But you mustn’t listen to whispers. Warriors will always have an opinion. The most important thing is that you did what you thought was right. And you told the truth. In the end, it’s lies that tear a Clan apart, not the truth.” She gazed at him affectionately. “I wish you had as much faith in yourself as I do.”

“Even though I got you in trouble?” Shadowsight blinked at her guiltily.

“It’s not so bad,” she told him. “If atoning for my codebreaking will help, I’m happy to do it. There’s no harm in admitting mistakes.”

Her courage reassured him. As he blinked at her gratefully, a long, deep groan sounded from the medicine den. He stiffened. A cat was in pain.

Shadowsight darted inside, his heart lurching as he saw Pouncestep lying in a nest. Her eyes glittered with distress. Tawnypelt stood stiffly beside her, as though unsure what to do, while Puddleshine leaned over the nest, running his paws gently over Pouncestep’s flank.

“What happened?” As Shadowsight crouched beside the nest, his sister groaned again.

Tawnypelt’s eyes were round. “She fell from a tree after she disturbed a wasps’ nest.”

Dovewing hurried to Tawnypelt’s side. Her gaze flicked in alarm from her injured kit to Puddleshine. “What’s wrong with her?”

Puddleshine’s paws traced a line along Pouncestep’s flank. “It feels like she’s broken a rib, but I can’t feel any swelling. There’s no bleeding inside.” He looked at Tawnypelt. “Did she land on her paws?”

Before Tawnypelt could answer, Pouncestep lifted her head weakly. “I panicked. I didn’t manage to turn in time.” She groaned and lay back in her nest.

Shadowsight could see swelling around one eye and on her muzzle where the wasps had stung her. “I’ll get some ointment.” He hurried to the store, relieved that Pouncestep’s injuries, while painful, weren’t life-threatening. The stings would go down with a little dock and honey, and the rib would mend.

And yet he couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong. It was another accident. He’d hoped that by sharing his vision, he’d fix ShadowClan’s run of bad luck. Had he waited so long that StarClan was still angry? He pulled a leaf from the store and unfolded it. The honey he’d managed to gather a few moons earlier was still sticky. He reached in for a pawful of dock and some poppy seeds and carried them back to Pouncestep’s nest.

“You can come back later.” Puddleshine was shooing Tawnypelt and Dovewing away.

Tawnypelt eyed her denmate anxiously. “She’ll be all right, won’t she?”

“She’ll be fine,” Puddleshine told her. “She just needs to rest.”

Dovewing touched her kit’s ear with her nose. “I’ll be back soon,” she promised.

Pouncestep blinked at her gratefully. “I’ll be okay.”

As the two warriors ducked out of the den, Shadowsight tore a piece of dock leaf and chewed it up. He spat the pulp into the honey and mixed it, while Puddleshine gave Pouncestep the poppy seeds.

The gray tabby she-cat closed her eyes. “It hurts to breathe,” she whispered.

“It will for a while,” Puddleshine told her. “But you’ll be okay.”

As Pouncestep closed her eyes, Shadowsight rubbed the ointment gently into her stings. A few moments later, her breath grew deeper as she slipped into sleep.

Shadowsight glanced at Puddleshine anxiously. “Should we wake her?” He didn’t want her slipping into too deep a slumber.

Puddleshine shook his head. “Sleep will do her good.”

Shadowsight blinked at him. “I thought the accidents would stop when I shared my vision.”

“This could have happened at any time,” Puddleshine told him. “It may have nothing to do with StarClan.”

But doubt tugged at Shadowsight’s belly. “Maybe I should have shared my vision earlier,” he mewed. “Or maybe Tigerstar was right, and I shouldn’t have shared it at all.”

“It’s pointless second-guessing StarClan.” Puddleshine’s gaze was clear and round. “You can only do what you think is best.” He tipped his head. “Have you had any more visions?”

“Nothing.” Shadowsight dropped his gaze. “They’ve stopped talking to me.” He felt suddenly lost. Even during the long leaf-bare, when StarClan had been silent for the other medicine cats, they’d spoken to him. “Why are they silent now? I’ve done everything they asked.”

Puddleshine held his gaze solemnly. “Are you sure your visions have been from StarClan?” he asked suddenly.

Shadowsight stared at him. “Of course they are!” Did Puddleshine think he’d dreamed them up?

“It does seem strange that they only spoke to one cat.” Puddleshine looked thoughtful.

“They were visions, I promise,” Shadowsight mewed fervently. “I didn’t imagine them.”

“I know.” Puddleshine frowned. “But I can’t help thinking that the Clans shouldn’t act on any more visions until StarClan starts sharing with all the medicine cats again.”

Shadowsight felt queasy. “Do you think I’ve done something wrong?”

“No,” Puddleshine mewed quickly. “But every vision seems to have pushed the Clans deeper into conflict. I don’t see why StarClan would want to lead us down that path.”

Shadowsight stared at him. Did Puddleshine also believe that he should have protected ShadowClan by keeping the vision to himself? Feeling hollow, he headed for the entrance.

“Where are you going?” Puddleshine called after him.

“I have to think,” he answered. “I’m going for a walk.”

Night had fallen, and the camp was dark as he crossed the clearing. His Clanmates were sharing tongues beside their dens. He avoided their glances as he headed for the entrance and slipped into the forest.

Puddleshine’s words had unsettled him. Could it be true that he’d misinterpreted StarClan’s signs? Were his ancestors trying to send him a deeper message that he was too mouse-brained to understand? Instinctively he headed for the edge of the forest and the stream that would lead him to the Moonpool. Perhaps they’d talk to him now, if he confessed that he didn’t understand their visions and begged them to just tell him what they wanted.

The moon was high by the time he pulled himself over the lip of the hollow and followed the dimpled rock down to the pool. The black surface reflected no stars, and the dark water made him nervous. Was StarClan determined not to listen? His heart quickened as he crouched at the edge. Please, StarClan, speak to me. I only want to make things right, for you and for the Clans. Surely they’d hear the longing in his heart and respond? The Moonpool was cold, but the thawed water rippled as he touched his nose to it. He let his mind clear, waiting for the wide green meadows of StarClan to open before him and the voices of cats he’d only known in visions to speak to him.

He saw only endless darkness. The chill of the stone beneath his paws seemed to reach through him, until he felt as cold as ice. Fear trickled along his spine, and he shivered, suddenly unnerved. The weight of another cat’s gaze seemed to press into his pelt. Was some cat watching him? He lifted his head sharply and blinked open his eyes. In the silence of the night, he could sense another presence in the hollow. He fluffed out his fur, feeling suddenly vulnerable in the Moonpool’s wide stone basin beneath the endless black sky. Fear wormed beneath his pelt and, keeping low, he crept away from the water and hurried up the spiraling path to the lip of the hollow. He scrambled over the edge, relieved as the shadows swallowed him.

He had felt nothing of StarClan in the hollow, and as he padded quickly along the stream that cut through the moor and led back toward the forest, his pelt prickled with foreboding. He realized with a sense of dread that none of the visions had swept him to the sun-drenched meadows of StarClan. There had been no glittering pelts, only a single disembodied voice swathed in shadow. That voice had told him to take Bramblestar onto the moor to let him die. It had told him that the Clans must suffer until the codebreakers were punished.

Puddleshine’s words rang again in his head. Every vision seems to have pushed the Clans deeper into conflict. His mentor was right. Each time he’d shared what he’d seen, the Clans had grown more frightened and more defensive. I don’t see why StarClan would want to lead us down that path. StarClan had only ever wanted the Clans to be safe and happy. Why would they demand suffering now?

He glanced back toward the hollow, no more than a silhouette against the starry sky. He’d gone to the Moonpool to find clarity. And he had, but not in the way he’d expected. Certainty sat like a rock in his belly. The voice, which had told him to cure Bramblestar by letting him die and had shown him the codebreakers, belonged to a spirit that knew the Clans. But he knew now, with a sureness that filled him with horror, that the voice had never been the voice of StarClan.