The Shining Girls

Kirby ^{13 JUNE 1993}

The room is getting hot. The smoke gets in through the sobs, catches in her lungs. She could just die here. Keep her eyes closed. Not get up ever again. It would be easy. Asphyxiation would kill her before the flames reached her. She could just breathe deep. Let it go. It’s done.

Something is pawing at her hand, insistently. Like a dog.

She doesn’t want to, but she opens her eyes to see Dan, squeezing her hand. He’s on his knees, hunched over. His fingers are slick with blood.

‘Little help?’ he rasps.

‘Oh God.’ She’s still shaking, crying and coughing. She throws her arms around him and he winces.

‘Ow.’

‘Hang on. I need your jacket.’ She helps him out of it and ties it around his waist as tightly as she can against the wound. It starts soaking through even before she’s finished. She can’t think about that. She crawls under his arm, braces against the floor and hefts up. He’s too heavy, she can’t lift him. Her boot skids in his blood.

‘Careful, fuck.’ He’s gone horribly pale.

‘Okay.’ She says. ‘Like this,’ she rounds her shoulders so she takes on most of his weight, holding him up and shuffling forward. The fire crackles at their backs, jumping up the walls hungrily. The paper blackens and warps, wisps of smoke curling upwards.

And God help her, she can still feel him here.

They half-crawl, half-fall towards the doorway. She balances precariously and sweeps her foot out to kick the door closed on the ice and snow outside.

‘What are you doing?’

‘Trying to get home.’ She helps him onto all fours. ‘Hold on for another second. One more second.’

‘I liked kissing you,’ Dan says, his voice cracking.

‘Don’t talk.’

‘I don’t know if I’m as strong as you.’

‘If you want to kiss me again, then shut the fuck up and stop bleeding to death,’ she snaps.

‘Okay,’ Dan gasps, smiling weakly, and then more steadily, ‘Okay.’

Kirby takes a breath and opens the door onto a summer’s night full of police sirens and flashing lights.