The Sam Gunn Omnibus

Steven Achernar Wright

Without hesitation, Jill Meyers phoned Ssteve Wright and invited him to the ship’s lounge for a drink. He turned out to be a pleasant enough fellow, somewhere near fifty, Jade judged. He had a shy, almost boyish manner, and unruly sandy hair that tended to flop over his forehead at the slightest excuse.

Once Jade started asking questions about Sam Gunn, his shyness turned to a reluctant, almost hostile series of monosyllabic grunts.

Until Jill Meyers told him, “Jade produced the video biography about Sam.”

A new light dawned in Wright’s eyes. “I haven’t seen it, but I heard it treated Sam pretty well.”

A little more conversation and a couple of drinks from the robot-tended bar, and Wright began to relax and talk nonstop.

“Look, I was the closest thing to a lawyer that Sam ever had. I mean, he hated lawyers. Probably that’s because he was always getting himself into legal troubles, you know, operating out at the edge of the law the way he always did.

“I don’t know if he really fell into that black hole or not. And I guess I don’t really care. Maybe he found real aliens out there and maybe not. We’ll see if he brings any back with him.”

Jade made a sympathetic smile, then asked, “Why are you running all the way out to the Kuiper Belt to meet Sam?”

“Why? Because I feel responsible for the little guy, that’s why. He went tootling off to find Planet X with that university geek and left behind, like, a ton and three-quarters of lawsuits.”

“But he’s been away so long the statute of limitations on all the suits has run out,” Jill Myers pointed out.

“Maybe not. That Beryllium Blonde that he’s tangled with has come up with the idea that since Sam claims he was in a space-time warp, time hasn’t passed for him the way it has for the rest of us and therefore the statutes of limitations should be considered suspended for all the time Sam was allegedly in the warp!”

“What?” Meyers snapped. “That’s ridiculous!”

“Is it? She’s claiming that if time hasn’t elapsed for him then it shouldn’t elapse for the lawsuits. And the courts are taking it very seriously.” “No!”

“So I’m going out there to warn the little bugger that his legal troubles aren’t over. Not by a long shot.”

“The Beryllium Blonde?” asked Jade. “Is her name Jennifer something?” “Marlow,” Wright said. “You don’t know about her?” “A little,” said Jade.

“Or about the Toad, either? Cheez, what kind of a producer are you? Didn’t you do any research before you came aboard this torch ship?