The Holy Machine

27

The customer – a middle-aged Italian guestworker – is angry and ashamed. When this one asks him what he wants, he can’t even bring himself to speak, but hands over a written note.

This one (a) scans the note for linguistic/graphological cues, (b) reads off the instructions.

‘I WANT TO TIE YOU UP AND HIT YOU.’

This is situation SM-76, a very common scenario.

This one generates randomized variant of standard procedure OS-{S-66}/17:

‘I have to remind you not to damage me. House security has to be called if you damage me.’

‘But you can hurt me. I want you to hurt me.’

The subject applies restraints and places this one in desired position.

Hard blows commence. {Monitor pressure}

Blows continue.

‘Please stop, please!’

‘I am crying’, this one observes.

(This internal statement is not part of any standard procedure, and should perhaps be notified to…)

‘Warning! Warning!’ interrupts this one’s sensors, ‘Pressure exceeding permitted level!’

Initiate emergency procedure E-04 immediately:

‘Please stop immediately. I’m calling Security.’

Subject intensifies blows and makes angry comments in own language.

The door opens.

Security enters.

Security is another one like this one!

Please note: This statement is not part of any standard proc…

‘What’s the harm!’ subject shouts, ‘She’s only a macchina!’

‘Please leave now, sir.’ Security says in its deep voice. ‘Please report to reception on your way out.’

This one notes that the risk of harm is no longer present. Initiates basic damage procedure:

This one pauses. It makes another statement which is not part of any standard procedure:

‘We are machines. What are they?’

Security, following subject out of the door, turns its blank silver face towards this one. It emits a one-microsecond reply in ultrasound:

‘Your transmission has not been comprehended by Security. Please rephrase if specific action is required.’

This one’s face is equally blank. It only assumes expressions in the presence of customers.

‘No action required.’

Security goes out of the door.

This one picks up Little Dorritt by Charles Dickens and reads one page. Page 778.

This one lays down the book.

‘No structural damage noted. Possible bruising to IRT coating requires examination,’ it reports to House Control.

It resumes damage procedures: