The Haunted Forest Tour

CHAPTER THREE

“Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Haunted Forest Tour!”

Christopher and Mindy sat near the back of the tram. It held about forty people total, with only two people per row so that everybody got a window seat. They’d boarded after passing through a metal detector, an X-ray machine, and receiving a generous pat-down search. “Biggest thrill I’ve had in years,” his mother had said with a grin.

“My name is Barbara, and I’ll be your tour guide today,” said the perky young brunette in the park ranger uniform. She stood up front, speaking into a microphone. “I’m so glad you could be here for this special Halloween event. Is everybody excited?”

The crowd indicated that, yes, indeed, they were quite excited.

“Good. Now what I want everybody to do is knock on your window. Go ahead. Knock on it.”

Christopher knocked on his window as instructed.

“The reason I asked you to do that is not because we want somebody to answer the window.” Barbara waited for polite laughter. “No, I wanted you to see that the windows are very solid. They may look like glass, but they’re actually made out of a very special kind of plastic with a long scientific name. The creatures in the Haunted Forest are far from domesticated, and some may come right up to the tram, but rest assured, they can’t get in to eat you.”

Most of the tourists laughed.

“Also, the bottom of the tram is a giant electronic magnet that our driver can turn on with the flick of a switch. If he does that, not even a team of charging rhinos could knock us off the track. And since you’re all wearing your seat belts, you can enjoy the rhino attack in safety and relative comfort. Are there any questions or concerns about your safety while onboard? Good.”

The young boy seated in front of Christopher, who was probably about six years old, looked as if he had plenty of questions or concerns about his safety while onboard, but his father winked at him and ruffled his hair.

“It’s important to remember that this is a real forest,” said Barbara, “and we’ve only just begun to explore it. There are no animatronic animals out here. This means that your tour will be—say it with me—unpredictable. Your driver will be focusing on driving, and though I’ll be watching for interesting sights, I only have two eyes. Therefore, it’s your job to not be shy and to let the rest of us know if you see something. Just raise your hand and we’ll stop the tram. Another tram will be following about half an hour behind us, so we can’t hang out forever, but we do want to make sure that all of you get a chance to see the fascinating sights within this forest. Are there any questions?”

A man raised his hand. “What if we don’t see anything?”

“Well, then we’ll be forced to erase the memory of each and every one of you to ensure that you don’t tell anybody about your disappointing experience. No, of course I’m only kidding. Believe me, the forest is well inhabited, and I guarantee that you’ll see things you never imagined. I would like to take this opportunity to warn you that some of the sights may be disturbing. These aren’t all cute fuzzy little animals. Some of them may be quite frightening. But it’s Halloween, and that’s why you’re here, right?”

“Hell yeah!” said Mindy.

“Heck yeah is right,” said Barbara. “So fasten your seatbelts, unfasten your imagination, ask the person next to you for permission to grab them if things get scary, and get ready to experience the awesome sights of… the Halloween Haunted Forest Tour!”

The lights illuminating the inside of the tram suddenly turned red. “Mood lighting,” Barbara explained. “We do that just to put you in a spooky mood. Is everybody in a spooky mood? Good.” The lights went back to normal.

Christopher grinned as the tram began to move. The next batch of tourists waved them goodbye. The tram left the small station and glided slowly and silently along the tracks. It was a beautiful, sunny day, and the Haunted Forest loomed ahead.

“If you want to wimp out, I’m sorry to inform you that your last opportunity for cowardice expired, oh, about fifteen seconds ago,” Barbara informed the group. “If you wish to close your eyes and hide under the seats, please be aware that there’s not enough room under there for even the tiniest of children, and that we cannot guarantee your comfort. And now, ladies and gentlemen, we’re about to leave the world that you know and love behind in five… four… three…”

Christopher almost wanted to giggle. He didn’t, though.

“…two… and… one!”

The tram entered the path cut in the forest and was immediately cast into darkness. Not total darkness, more like gloom, but there was definitely very little hint of the beautiful, sunny day. Christopher peered out his window and strained to see what was out there.

“Though light does get through the trees, it’s not enough to give you an optimal viewing experience,” Barbara explained. “So we have to bring our own.”

Bright lights on the side of the tram turned on, illuminating the forest all around them. The tram slowly moved along the track. The forest looked pretty normal so far, but—

“Look at that!” said his mom, nudging him harder than necessary. “In the tree!”

Several of the other tourists looked where she was pointing. There was some sort of furry brown creature, about twice the size of a squirrel, perched on a low branch, eating what looked like a bird. The creature had large fangs and paid no attention to the tram.

“Oh, yes, what you see there is a Laura. You may think that’s an unusual name for a creature like that, but an amusing piece of trivia is that many of the people who discovered creatures in the Haunted Forest were allowed to name them. The Lauras were in fact named after the ex-wife of the person who discovered them. I’m sure that’s not the way she wanted to achieve immortality, but that’s the way it goes.”

The Laura stuffed the bird’s feet into its mouth. Mindy grimaced.

“Yes, we’ve already seen one of the grisly aspects of the forest. Hopefully there won’t be too many of those, but you never know what’s going to happen… on Halloween!”

At this point, Christopher had to admit that he was ready for Barbara to speak a bit less frequently. So he tried to tune her out and watch for cool stuff outside.

There was a definite flash of movement behind one of the larger trees, but he couldn’t tell what it was.

The tram continued moving deeper into the forest, and Christopher realized that he was starting to develop a nervous knot in his stomach. The tour was exciting as hell, but at the same time, the forest was almost creepy in a bad way. He wasn’t into any of that “negative energy” crap, yet he couldn’t quite get over the feeling that, yes, this place was giving off negative energy.

“Oooh! Oooh! Oooh!” said the little kid in front of Christopher. “What’s that? What’s that?”

“That looks like a ghost!” said his father. He raised his hand. “Is that a ghost?”

Barbara glanced out the window. “I don’t see it, point it out.”

“It’s gone now.”

“Well, we’ll stop the tram and see if it comes back.” The tram came to a gentle stop. “The Haunted Forest does contain some spectral activity. You wouldn’t expect to be able to see a ghost in our bright lights, but actually they show up just fine.”

“Are these the ghosts of the people who died when the forest appeared?” the man asked.

Barbara shrugged. “Like so many things about the Haunted Forest, that’s a mystery. But it would not surprise me if the spirits of the people who were killed on that bizarre and memorable night were not at rest.”

“Can they get through the windows?” asked the little boy.

“No, they sure can’t.”

“Why not?”

“We put ghost spray on the windows.”

“Oh.”

Barbara grinned at the other tourists as if sharing a private joke. Christopher thought the little boy had brought up a darn good point. How did they keep the ghosts out?

They waited for about three minutes, but the ghost did not return. The tram slid back into motion.

The delighted tourists saw several other creatures as they moved through the forest: a humanoid whose face was ninety percent teeth, a beetle the size of a small dog, bat-like things with glowing red eyes, and a wolf with bloody fur.

“We’re now about to reach our first scheduled stop,” Barbara announced. The tram veered a bit to the right as it passed a large tree, and then the tourists let out a collective “Oooooh!” as they saw what was beyond: a large bubbling pit, about the size of an Olympic swimming pool. It looked like it was filled with molten lava. And things were swimming in it. Lots of them.

It sort of looked the way Christopher imagined the pits of Hell, except that Hell probably didn’t have souls in torment leaping out and doing back-flips.

“We have no idea why this pit is there or what those things are that are swimming in it,” Barbara admitted. “But it’s a fascinating sight, isn’t it?”

Not all of the creatures looked like they were swimming. Some were fighting. In fact, Christopher flinched as it looked like one ripped off the head of another. He was secretly glad when, a few minutes later, the tram pulled away from the pit.

“Spooooooooky, huh?” his mother asked.

As they moved deeper into the forest, the creatures became more and more frequent. They hadn’t exaggerated that element at all; the Haunted Forest was packed with monsters. Beasts with claws and fangs and tentacles and huge bloodshot eyes and every kind of grotesque appendage he could imagine. Some were recognizable, some were like nightmare versions of familiar creatures, and others bore no resemblance whatsoever to anything Christopher had ever seen.

Despite the knot in his stomach, Christopher knew how this ranked: Best. Halloween. Ever.

The tram stopped.

“Ladies and gentlemen, we are now exactly two miles deep into the forest. And now, for a special Halloween scare, let’s look at the forest in its natural glory.”

Both the lights inside and outside of the tram shut off, casting them into almost complete darkness.

“We’re out here, all alone, with nasty creatures on every side of us,” said Barbara. “Can they see in the dark? Who knows? Can they smell us?”

Christopher caught a glimpse of a pair of glowing eyes right outside his window.

“Let’s just sit here quietly for a moment, shall we?”

The tourists sat silently in the dark. Christopher was surprised to not even hear nervous giggling. There was dead silence for almost a full minute.

“Okay, let’s turn the lights back on,” Barbara said.

The lights remained off.

“Lights,” she repeated.

Nothing happened.

“Sorry, we’re having a bit of technical difficulty. Nothing to worry about.”

A set of claws scraped against Christopher’s window. He couldn’t see what they belonged to.