The Complete Drive-In

6

“It was a thought,” Homer said. “But I didn’t take into consideration that there isn’t a door.”

“There are two ways inside this fish,” Grace said. “We got the mouth, and we got the asshole. We try to go through the mouth, well, water rushes through there all the time. We’ll drown. Maybe, if we go to the rear we can find an exit. This thing may eat and shit, but it doesn’t have real fish intestines. I think Bjoe is wrong about some things. I think this fish is, or was, a work in progress. The robots were supposed to finish it all up, give it fish insides, but, for some reason, they played out.”

“Leaving the fish not quite complete,” Steve said.

“Yep. I think that whatever built this world, the things in it, is losing its grip. Maybe mentally, maybe it, or they, or whatever, just got bored with the whole thing.”

“So it’s falling apart?” I said. “Our gods are going insane?”

“Yeah. Or it’s not being finished. It’s like a dream I used to have when I went to bed at night, elves would take up the rest of the world and fold it away. But they were quick, see, so if I got up to go pee, looked out the window, they were always therewith a backdrop. And they built things instantly, before I could get to them. But sometimes, in my dream, I’d look out of the corner of my eye, and there would be nothing.

“I remember the dream well. Gave me this feeling that the world was all a lie, and that I made it up as I lived and breathed. And sometimes, my daydream broke down.”

“So in the dream, you dreamed you were daydreaming?” Steve said.

“Yeah. And now I may be living in just the sort of world I dreamed about. But, a lot more unpleasant.”

“My head’s starting to hurt,” Homer said.

“About escaping?” Steve said.

“Yeah,” Grace said. “I was going to say, could be, in the back, there’s a way out.”

“Great,” Cory said. “We go out the asshole riding on a turd. And drown.”

“That’s where Homer’s idea comes in,” Grace said.

“What idea was that?” James said. “I still don’t think I understand all I understand about that idea.”

“It’s about listening to the inside of our heads,” Grace said, and she let that hang in the air like a fart.

“I get it,” I said. “We work our way to the rear, hang around until we feel the change in our heads, in our ears. Then, it’s the asshole escape. Homer’s idea, but without a conventional door.”

“That’s right,” Grace said. “But we have to prepare ahead of time. We have to be sure there’s a way out back there. It may be there’s real fish guts to the rear. We might need floating devices of some sort.”

“Maybe the Scuts got life jackets,” Steve said.

“Funny,” Grace said, “but it’s some kind of idea. Otherwise, we live our lives in the belly of a fish. Just hanging around until an overwhelming crowd of hungry folk descend on us ready for dinner.”

“It’s possible we could get along with them,” James said. “We’ve seen and done some pretty strange stuff ourselves. I mean, shit, I can’t believe I’ve been fucked in the butt. That’s not something I’d do on a Saturday night back home. I even ate a dead baby once. Maybe twice. All right. Probably three times. And I saw two of them killed. So what makes me better than them?”

“You have to make yourself better,” Grace said. “We all do. We’ve all missed a step. We’ve done what we had to do to survive. But, I know me and Steve and Jack, we’ve tried to keep it together. Tried hard. Now we can keep trying, and the rest of you can try with us. If you want to stay here, that’s your choice. All of you. Me, I’m looking for a way out of the exhaust pipe.”

James nodded. “Guess so.”

“Hell,” Homer said. “I’m for it. It’s my idea, and I didn’t even know I had one.”

“How about everyone else?” Grace asked.

“I’m in,” I said.

“Me too,” Steve said. “I go where you go, honey.”

Cory raised a hand. “Count me in. But, maybe we could make some kind of deal with those guys up there. For some of that liquor. It tastes like boiled dogshit, but it makes you feel pretty good.”

“That’s one thing we don’t need,” Grace said. “Distractions.”

“So what’s the exact plan?” James asked.

“That’s a bit of a problem,” Grace said. “An exact plan hasn’t exactly come to me yet.”

“Then we all put our heads together,” I said, “come up with a more detailed plan.”

“It sounds iffy,” Cory said.

“Actually,” James said. “It sounds fishy.”

He looked a bit disappointed when no one laughed.

“It does,” I said. “But, I’m tired of being pushed around by this world. I want to push back. Let’s rustle up something to eat, then put our heads together and figure how to do what we want to do.”