Taste of Torment

Chapter Nine

(Sam)

A whole hour. We spent a whole hour arguing over whether or not we should risk bringing Paige West to The Hollow. But we were still at stalemate, because neither of us was willing to back down. Jared had eventually walked away – a gesture that the conversation was over. He was now lying in the hammock on our balcony, totally silent.

And I bloody hated it.

The last thing that I wanted was to be at odds with Jared. Knowing that Evan, Max, and Stuart could die, seeing the pain on Alora’s face…All of that had brought with it an acute awareness of just how easily everything could end. How easily the people important to you could be taken away, just like that. I’d experienced it with a boyfriend that my Sire had killed – Bryce had been murdered in front of my very eyes. The pain of that loss had never left me, and nor had the memory of the look in his eyes just before Victor killed him. Even the thought of anything happening to Jared was ten times worse than having lost Bryce. The frightening fact was that it could just as easily have been Jared who was hurt in the tunnels. The very idea made ice-cold fear shudder through me. There was truly no such thing as immortality.

At any other time, I might have stormed after Jared if he walked away mid-argument. But although it looked as though he had petulantly walked off in a huff and was now sulking, I was connected to him on a level so deep that I knew it was much more than that. An all-consuming fear was tormenting him, haunting him, clawing at him. But there was more – pain and rage were bubbling and sizzling inside him…and he was desperately trying to hide it all from me. That realisation had stopped me dead in my tracks.

It was then that, having tapped fully into our bond, I’d realised something else. By fighting so hard with Jared on the subject of Paige West for the last few weeks, I’d caused him to pull back. Watching his twin deteriorate had swamped him with dark emotions, and by arguing with him, I’d more or less left him to deal with it all by himself. I’d made him feel that I wouldn’t support him purely because I disagreed with his decision about Paige. He thought that I’d tell him it was his own fault that he was feeling this way.

In sum, I’d made him feel totally alone.

Shit.

Jared didn’t function as others did. I knew that being raised by a narcissistic mother who emotionally and physically abused him had made him shut down in many ways. I knew that he didn’t share his pain with others because, in Evan’s words, emotions had always gotten Jared in deep shit. I also knew that, as a result, unless you literally dragged it out of him, Jared would bury it all deep. But I hadn’t expected him to do that with me, I’d thought we’d gotten past that. I was wrong. He’d buried the extent of his pain as deep as he possibly could. Oh I’d felt echoes of his pain and fear and anger through the bond at times, but I hadn’t realised the extent of it until now. All that optimism he’d shown had been his smokescreen.

I’d worked so hard since we got together to help him defeat this psychological impulse to hide his pain. I’d actually been making progress, but I’d clearly gone back a step because by not being there for him through all this, I’d made him retreat. He’d once described me as his refuge. Well I clearly hadn’t been that this time.

Maybe some would say that he needed to buck up and deal with his shit like an adult. But he’d become emotionally independent at a young age, was used to taking care of himself and not needing anyone. He’d let himself need me, and I’d gone and let him down. First by mentally retreating from him, and then by being pissed with him rather than being understanding. He hadn’t sulked, he’d just withdrawn. That, for me, was even worse than being cursed at or given the silent treatment.

Determined to ensure he didn’t feel alone any longer, I went out onto the balcony. To anyone else, he might have appeared totally relaxed lounging in the hammock, watching the waves lap against the shore. But I knew better. I could feel his turmoil, and it caused a hollow ache in my chest.

I stood beside him, but he didn’t say anything. He didn’t look at me or acknowledge my presence in any way. Yes, he was trying to irritate me by ignoring me like this. But he wasn’t being a hurtful prat. This was actually one of his sneaky little avoidance tactics; he was hoping that if he annoyed me, I would walk away and then we wouldn’t get back to arguing.

“I don’t want to fight again,” I assured him softly. “I’m done with that.”

His gaze flicked to me, examining my face. Then he effortlessly dragged me on top of him with one arm without even slightly unbalancing the hammock. Sad hazel eyes stared into mine as he brushed stray strands of hair away from my face. “Good. Neither do I.” That was one great thing about Jared. He didn’t brood endlessly or expect a dramatic apology before backing down. He’d easily accept a peace offering and happily move past the dispute.

“I just…I don’t want to watch them die, Jared.”

“Me neither, but I’m not going to change my mind.”

“I’m not here to ask you to. Like I said, I’m done with bickering.” His answering kiss was so gentle that it was more of a whispering of his lips over mine. “Please tell me you have some kind of plan because I’m all out of ideas.”

He sighed, returning his gaze to the ocean. “So am I, baby.”

And he hated himself for it, I could sense. He was literally wading in guilt. “Stop it, Jared. You did your research on The Call, you consulted several people, you surfed the V-Net, you spoke with Quentin Foy – you’ve literally done all you can to try to find a way to help them.” Apart from one thing, and I would bet my life that having me hound him about not letting Paige West come here had made him feel even guiltier. Crap. “Nobody blames you. And everyone who knows about Paige understands why you don’t want her here.”

His eyes darted back to mine. Wariness and doubt was swirling in their depths. “Even you?”

“Even me.”

“You’ll really stop fighting me on this?”

“What you need is for me to be here for you, and I haven’t. First I disappeared into my head. Then I fought you instead of being more understanding. But like you said, I’m stubborn – I can get so set on one path that I almost develop tunnel vision.”

The pad of his thumb breezed over my bottom lip. “We’re both guilty of that.” He exhaled heavily, looking like someone with the weight of the world on his shoulders. “It’s possible that she couldn’t have helped anyway. Covington said that he couldn’t be sure. I could have brought her here and put you in danger for nothing.” Again his thumb stroked my bottom lip. I bit the digit gently. He smiled, but it was strained. “Even if it had worked, Evan would have kicked our asses for taking the risk.”

“Exactly – you have nothing to feel guilty for because he would sooner reprimand you for taking risks than blame you for being careful.”

Scrunching his hands in my hair, he tugged so that my forehead rested on his. “I miss him,” he whispered. “We can’t help him, can we?”

“It’s not looking good,” I admitted.

“A part of me wonders if I should just end his life now. It isn’t a life. He’s suffering, he’s in pain, and he’s lost most of who he is. But I just can’t. I still have a small bit of hope that I’ll find something that will help him, and I won’t stop trying. But I have to make peace with the fact that I might not be able to do anything, don’t I?”

“We have to make peace with that,” I corrected, knowing that without that peace, the guilt would swallow us whole. “Stop shouldering all this. You told me I didn’t have to go through shit alone anymore. Well, same here.” I buried my face in the crook of his neck and snuggled into him the way he liked it. His arms closed tightly around me. “We should have had this conversation sooner. I would never have told you that it’s your own fault that you’re hurting. I wouldn’t use your emotions against you like that; I’m not your mother.” I lifted my head to meet his gaze. “I always want to know how you feel, even if it’s about a subject that we’re at odds on. Got it?”

“Got it.” Cupping my chin, he kissed me gently. “You’re the only reason I haven’t totally lost it. You’re my only weakness…but you’re my strength, too.”

“Right back at you, Michaels.”

He chuckled softly. “Stay here with me for a while.”

So I did. It wasn’t until dawn that he teleported us both to bed where he proceeded to make me come over and over. When he finally slid inside me, he kept every thrust slow and sensual, refusing to release my eyes. It was so fucking intimate, it was scary. As he exploded deep inside me, he gave me those three little words that he didn’t often say, being the emotionally awkward person that he was. Unsurprisingly, I fell asleep with a huge smile on my face.

I was still smiling when I woke up at dusk…although that might have been because the sneaky sod was suckling on a nipple. Once again, he teased me half to death – he even used the fur-lined cuffs and chocolate body spread that Ava had bought me for my birthday – before making me come repeatedly. It was hard and fierce this time, and it was what we both needed.

Having washed, dressed, and downed a few NSTs while munching on toast, we were just about to teleport to the arena when there was a knock at the front door. Opening it, I found Antonio, Luther, and – of course – the guards and pit-bulls.

Antonio’s mouth curled into a slight smile. “Notice that we knocked this time.”

Luther’s smile matched his. “It avoids any further awkward situations.”

Had they turned up fifteen minutes earlier, they would have interrupted something that no amount of knocking would have stopped. I gestured for them both to sit on the sofa, extremely curious about their early visit. The dogs came for a brief stroke before settling at Antonio’s feet while the guards lurked in the background.

No sooner had Luther sat down beside Antonio than Jared rounded on them. “If you’re here to talk about Paige West and get me to change my mind”

Antonio raised his hand, palm out. “Be assured that that is not why I am here. I respect your decision. After all, it would devastate me to place Lucy in any form of danger, so I understand. And I do not want Sam in danger any more than you do. I am here because Quentin has been in contact.”

I tensed immediately; his tone had suggested that this really wasn’t good. “Oh God, what now?”

“As you know, he has been tracking stray tainted vampires. Following different clues, he eventually tracked them to a small village located within a rainforest that housed vampires and humans. He believes that this is where The Call originally surfaced.”

Well that was one question answered.

“We have two problems.”

“Only two?” I said dryly. Jared snorted in amusement.

“Firstly, the tainted vampires have slaughtered almost the entire village.” His tone was sad, regretful. “The vampires who are not dead are tainted.”

Oh bloody wonderful. “And secondly…?” I prompted.

“Quentin’s intention would obviously be to kill all of the tainted. Unfortunately, these deaths have not only come to our attention. Others have also gone to investigate. A human military team was sent to deal with the matter.”

“Fuck,” Jared bit out.

“Quite.” Antonio sighed. “In Quentin’s opinion, these humans know they are dealing with vampires, going by their weapons and equipment. They are most likely part of the government agency that investigates things like this. From what he has seen from their other belongings, he suspects that this group of people has been posing as a team of medical volunteers inside the rainforest and that they responded to the many rumours of the suspicious locals. Many such rumours are ripe there.”

“Other humans might have dismissed them,” Jared pondered, “but a government agency that believes in our existence would be interested in following any lead.”

“Yes.”

“Did the military team wipe out the tainted vampires?”

Antonio’s expression hardened. “The humans did not attempt to kill them. They attempted to sedate and capture them.”

Jared gawked. “Are they fucking brainless?”

“It would seem so. In a few cases, the humans succeeded in confining them to small, iron-barred cells. The Pagoris, however, were able to break out. They savaged many of the military team, but another team simply came at the orders of whoever is ‘running the show’, as Quentin put it.”

Jared folded his arms .“I’m guessing Quentin fears trying to attack the remaining tainted vampires, since it would risk exposing himself, his vampires, and Commander Rodney’s squad to the humans.”

“Indeed.” Antonio’s mouth twisted as his expression morphed into one of anger. “But he did it anyway.”

Another gawk from Jared. “Please tell me you’re kidding.”

“I wish I was. The humans were able to capture a small number of Quentin’s vampires and also some of Rodney’s squad; they are all now being held in the military vehicles. The humans have not yet left the area because they want to capture more vampires first. That cannot be allowed to happen. Those humans cannot be allowed to keep any of the vampires that they are holding – not the tainted or the untainted.”

No they bloody well couldn’t.

“This whole thing just keeps getting better and better,” Jared muttered sardonically, running a hand through his hair.

“This particular assignment will be extremely difficult because you will have two purposes. Number one, all of the tainted vampires must be destroyed. Number two, each and every one of the vampires that have been captured by the humans need to be freed.”

“What about the humans?” I asked. “Do we let them live?” I didn’t relish the idea of killing them for simply being curious and downright stupid, but there weren’t a lot of options.

“This is where it gets tricky. The secret of our existence needs to be preserved at all costs, but it is clear that this agency already knew of our existence prior to the attack on the village. They most likely have other evidence somewhere. From what Quentin has told me, they do not seem to know enough about vampires to suggest that they have ever captured one before. That, at least, is good news.”

“Killing them wouldn’t really fulfil a purpose, then, would it?” I shrugged. “They already know our secret. Even if we kill them, others from the agency will know, so it achieves nothing.”

Antonio nodded. “Exactly. We can do one of two things: kill them all to deliver a message to their superiors that coming at us will only end in death, or we could free the vampires without being seen and deliver a different type of message. A message that although we are powerful, we are not senseless killers and we are only interested in our own.”

“The latter might be for the best,” Luther offered.

“I agree.” I stuffed my hands into the pockets of my combat pants. “If they see us as evil beings, they might become set on finding and destroying us all. Right now, they’re just curious. Stupidly curious.”

“Quite right. It is imperative that every last tainted vampire is destroyed,” stressed Antonio, his gaze intense. “If not, The Call will continue to spread and soon enough we will have another situation like this on our hands. I know it feels wrong, in a sense, to kill them. But we have tried to find some way of helping them and we have had no success. And there are so very many of them. The best thing we can do for them is end their suffering.” Antonio’s gaze danced from me to Jared. “I would like to send you, your squad, and another six squads along with their commanders. I am not taking any chances this time.”

“Ava and Cristiano will insist on going,” Luther pointed out.

It was clear that the idea troubled Antonio, but he shrugged. “It would be unfair to request that they remain behind when they wish to avenge what has happened to their friends. We all know a little about the need for vengeance. If they wish to take the risk of being attacked and tainted, we must respect that.” Turning his attention back to Jared and me, he spoke. “I want you and your squad to concentrate on freeing the vampires that have been captured.”

I rolled my eyes. “You mean you don’t want us fighting the tainted again because some of us were bitten last time.”

“True. But my decision is also based on the fact that your squad is, by far, the stealthiest. All your practice on the tactical field has helped tremendously with that. You have members that can get in and out of places without being seen. You also have members that are deadly enough to kill a tainted vampire without even touching them – both of you included. You are, without a doubt, the best people to deal with this side of the assignment.”

Jared nodded. “Where exactly are they within the rainforest? I don’t want to waste time searching.”

Antonio handed him a slip of paper. “According to one of Quentin’s vampires who has the ability to teleport, these exact coordinates will take you one hundred feet from the humans’ camp.” Once Jared had tucked the paper into the pocket of his jeans, Antonio added, “He and Quentin will be waiting for you there.”

“You should leave as soon as possible.” Luther’s anxiety was obvious in every line of his face. “We are not sure how much longer the humans will wait around.”

In total agreement with that, I slipped my hand in Jared’s and he immediately teleported us both to the arena. Since we had only minutes ago tanked ourselves with NSTs, we didn’t need to make a pit-stop at our apartment.

As usual, the squad was patiently waiting for us in the arena. Thankfully, nobody was late because we didn’t have time to hang around, and we still needed to find Ava and Cristiano to give them the option of coming along. We quickly briefed the squad on the situation. It was no surprise when they began cursing at the news of the humans being involved, but they were raring to go. No doubt feelings of helplessness had been plaguing them just as they had been plaguing myself and Jared. This assignment meant that they were doing something.

“Ava and Cristiano will want in,” said Denny. “After seeing Ava so distraught when she heard the vampires from her nest were dead, I don’t think it would be fair to leave her or her brother out of it.” Salem didn’t appear happy about that, but he said nothing.

“We plan to take them,” I told Denny. “I don’t suppose anyone knows where they are?”

“They’re with Jude and Alora in the canteen,” Chico said. Alora and Jude had immediately ‘clicked’ – probably because they both knew what it was like to live without someone that meant everything to them. I knew from Chico that Jude had tracked down her baby just to check on her. The little girl had been adopted by a really nice human family, so at least Jude had that knowledge as comfort – however little comfort that may be.

“When do we leave?”

Frowning at that, everyone spun to look at the beady-eyed male who was tucking his notepad and pen into his coat, ready to go.

“You’re not going anywhere,” I firmly stated to both Collins and a half-naked Eloise, who was licking her lips as she eyed Jared. No shame. She had absolutely no shame.

Collins lifted his chin. “Our purpose here”

“Seems to be purely to be a pain in our asses,” finished Damien. Collins flushed, shrinking under the disapproval of the squad.

“Haven’t we been through this once before?” Eloise huffed, bored. “We must accompany you on assignments in order to accurately complete our report. We did so last time, and we will do so this time.”

I really didn’t have the patience to deal with either of them right now. I took a calming, steadying breath. It didn’t help much. “We allowed you both to come with us when we spoke to Quentin Foy because there was minimal danger involved. This assignment is totally the opposite.”

“Which supports the complaint that you take your squad on very risky missions,” Collins said with a smug grin.

“I was just about to say the same thing.” Eloise was wearing a similar smirk.

I could only shake my head at them. “It’s pathetic that you think we have time for this crap.” With that, I gave them both my back and marched out of the arena with Jared at my side. Everybody followed as we made our way to the canteen. Unfortunately, that included Collins and Eloise. I won’t set them on fire. I won’t set them on fire. I won’t, I won’t. But I’d dream about it.

Collins hurried to my side, breathless as he attempted to match my pace. “Commander Parker, it is important that I”

“Back off, Collins,” Jared ground out. “We’re not taking you or your colleague on this assignment. Deal with it.”

The bloke honestly looked like he was chewing on a bee or something. “I will be forced to contact my superiors”

I smiled. “Good idea. Tell them I said ‘hi’.”

He gasped in outrage. “Commander Parker!”

Ignoring his rant, I entered the canteen. The purpose in my strides made Ava, Cristiano, Jude, and Alora instantly tense.

Cristiano stood. “What’s happening?” I swiftly gave them a rundown on everything.

“I’m coming,” both Ava and Cristiano declared in unison. Salem scowled at her for that, but Ava gave him a cute smile and patted his chest.

“I’m coming, too,” stated Jude, rising from her seat. When Chico went to object, she added, “It’s possible that a human will spot one of you. Wouldn’t it be a lot easier to wipe their memory than kill them?” Jude’s gift would enable us to do that. She was only able to delete twenty minutes worth of memory, but that would be enough.

Alora got to her feet. “I want to come too. Like I said, I need to do something.” When I hesitated to respond, she said, “You’ll be surprised what a substantial gift communicating with animals can be – they can tell us things that we wouldn’t otherwise know. It helped when The Hollow was attacked by Bennington and his supporters.”

Jared sighed. “Your mind isn’t in the best state, Alora. I don’t need someone there who’s going to take unnecessary risks. Been there. Done that.”

“I won’t. I promise.” She softly chuckled, though there wasn’t much humour there. “Believe me when I say that I want to live, and I won’t be leaving this life without kicking and screaming.”

After a brief silence, Jared spoke again. “Any rashness from you and you’ll be teleported out of there. And I mean that. I hesitated with Evan. I won’t make the same mistake again. Got it?”

Alora saluted him. “Got it.”

“If these people are all going, there is absolutely no reason why Eloise and I cannot be taken along.” Collins’ superior, haughty, I-get-to-do-whatever-I-want-and-you-will-obey-me tone grated on every nerve I had.

“Oh there’s an extremely good reason,” I told him in a menacing voice, invading his personal space. The snooty tosser immediately backed up. “As you repeatedly state, you’re both observers here. Everyone on this assignment will be expected to protect themselves and the people around them. Passive people will simply get hurt. And if you think I’ll be held responsible for anything that happens to you or Aphrodite here, you’re very wrong. Besides, I only take along people who I trust to watch my back and the backs of those around me. I certainly don’t trust either of you, which means you’re staying behind. As Jared said, deal with it.”

Collins looked ready to explode, but then he sniffed arrogantly and adjusted his tie. “Fine. I must warn you that I’ll be making a note of this in my report.”

“Ooh, a note? I’m trembling in my trainers. Note that as well.”

Laughing, Jared gripped my hand. Taking his cue, everyone grabbed hold of one another and he teleported us all out of there, happily leaving behind a flushed Collins and a snarling Eloise.