Taste of Torment

Chapter Eighteen

(Sam)

It wasn’t often that I had nightmares. Or if I did, I simply didn’t remember them when I woke. But dreaming that your mate was burning alive while you were restrained and forced to watch was enough to make a girl abruptly snap awake and bolt upright in the bed.

Attuned to me, Jared was instantly awake and sitting up beside me, brushing my hair away from my face. “Bad dream?” His voice was croaky with sleep.

Still feeling choked by the agony of watching him die, I couldn’t speak. Making soothing noises, he gently coaxed me to lie beside him and pulled me tight against him. The strange bed wasn’t as comfortable as our bed, but as our apartment building was in a pretty bad state after the battle yesterday evening, we had taken one of the spare rooms in Antonio’s mansion.

In fact, most of the people within The Hollow were sleeping in the mansion as it was the building that had suffered the least amount of damage – Covington had obviously hoped to keep it for himself. The Command Centre, the Guest House, and the Residence Halls were still standing, but other buildings had collapsed. Almost all of them had suffered from fire and smoke damage to some degree. The once beautiful place looked like a warzone.

Worse than the damage to The Hollow itself was the damage to the population within it. Six of the ten squads from the legion had been wiped out, including their commanders. Most of Antonio’s many guards were dead, as were Luther’s and Sebastian’s consorts. Only thirty-eight humans remained, and ten of those were badly injured. There had originally been forty-three surviving humans, but seven of them had been on the verge of death and chosen to be Turned into vampires rather than die.

Thankfully, Reuben, Damien, and Denny were recovering well from their injuries – albeit slowly. Cristiano, Jude, and Sebastian had also been badly hurt, but they had almost fully recovered. The main thing was that they would recover. The same sadly couldn’t be said for many of the other vampires that had been injured. Paige had been too exhausted to help them all – in fact, she’d passed out after a while. Our allies had also lost some of their vampires during the battle. Furthermore, those who were Bound to another vampire effectively caused the death of their mates when they died.

So many deaths. So many pointless deaths.

Unsure if the walls were vampire-soundproof and not wanting to wake anyone, I spoke quietly. “We should hold a remembrance day.”

Jared’s eyelids slowly opened. “A remembrance day?” His voice was also quiet.

“For all those who died last night. They deserve to have their memory and their sacrifice acknowledged and honoured.”

He cupped my face, brushing his thumb over my bottom lip. “That’s a good idea. We’ll do it as soon as we’ve fixed this place up.”

I sighed, knowing my eyes were glistening with tears. “There’s so much damage.”

“Hey, don’t cry,” he said gently, dabbing a kiss on my forehead. He slid his hand around to my nape and began to massage it soothingly. “Wes, Quentin, and all the High Masters have offered to help. Add their vampires to ours, and we’re talking hundreds of people. I think we could have the place looking good again within a couple of weeks. It’ll definitely be done in time for the Coronation.”

“I’m a little surprised that not even one person has objected to us replacing Antonio due to the hybrid thing.”

Releasing my nape, he combed his fingers through my hair. “I’m not. The High Masters witnessed you agree to Covington to give up your own life in exchange for the lives of everyone here.” His eyes darkened with anger as he added, “And we’ll be having a separate conversation about that very soon.”

I was surprised that he hadn’t already lectured me over it, considering that the anger he was feeling had been simmering close to the surface since yesterday evening.

“Plus, they would be idiots to go against someone as powerful as you, particularly considering what I’d do to anyone who even thought about it.”

“No one will forget what you did to Covington.” I wouldn’t either. I had a strong stomach, but even I’d been disturbed by it all. I hadn’t been disturbed by Jared, though. I’d always known that he was merciless, so I wouldn’t have expected anything different. The second Covington had put a knife to Antonio’s throat – the only decent paternal influence Jared had ever had – he’d signed his death warrant. It was really that simple. The fact that Covington had also wanted me dead had only made the entire thing worse.

“That was the whole idea. No one’s going to forget any of what happened. Every vampire who wasn’t there will hear the tale – it’ll most likely be exaggerated ten-fold, but that can only be a good thing.” Fisting his hand in my hair, Jared rested his forehead against mine. “I swear I almost died when you told Imani to cut the bond. You can’t ever do anything like that again, Sam. You can’t sacrifice yourself for other people – not even for me.”

“You would have died,” I softly pointed out, trailing the tips of my fingers up and down his back.

His smile was sad. “I wouldn’t have survived the breaking of the bond, baby. Not here.” He took my hand and held it over his heart. “I’d have been a fucking shell without you.”

“But at least you would have been alive.”

“I’d have been breathing, sure. But I’d have been dead inside.” Though his voice was still low, it had turned gruff as his tightly controlled anger began to seep to the surface. “I’d have stuck around long enough to avenge what had happened to you, but that’s all. You wouldn’t have saved me by having Imani cut the bond. And if you think the others would have wanted you to sacrifice yourself for them, you’re wrong.”

I remembered the others objecting. Even Antonio, who had had a knife to his throat, had been angry with me for doing it. “You wouldn’t have offered your life for everyone else’s?”

He pinned my gaze with his. “No. Dying would have meant being without you. I can’t do that. If that makes me selfish, there’s not a lot I can do about it. I’ve told you over and over, Sam, you come first. I know that no one’s ever put you first before so you just can’t grasp that or understand it. But you come first to me.”

It was bewildering, scary, and yet also sent a blaze of warmth shooting through me.

“You don’t need to keep risking yourself to feel worthy of everyone’s loyalty – and don’t say that’s not part of why you do it, I know you.” With his eyes still holding mine, he absentmindedly began tracing my collarbone with the tip of his index finger. “You are worthy. You’re worthy of everything that you have. The people here, the squad – they’re all loyal to you because they respect you and they care for you.”

“They shouldn’t. I’m stubborn, sarcastic, so direct it’s”

“You’re you – that’s all it takes for people to like you and respect you. A lot of people who are straight-shooting…they’re only happy to be so blunt when talking about others. They’re not so upfront about who they are, what flaws they have, and what their issues are. But you don’t hide who you are. You don’t act. You don’t play mind games. People always know where they stand with you.” He slid both his arms around me and held me tight, lightly nipping my mouth. “It’s part of what I love about you. It’s what drew me to you in the first place. Of course your husky voice and your delectable body had a lot to do with it too.”

I smiled against his mouth. “That’s because you’re a randy bastard.”

“I don’t hear you complaining.”

“Why would I complain? I highly benefit from it.”

He fell silent for a minute, studying me intently. “You know, the idea of dying hadn’t really bothered me much before I met you. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t suicidal or anything, but I was fine with being rash and impulsive. The things I’ve done with my life since becoming a vampire – joining the legion, becoming a commander, being appointed as Antonio’s Heir – I’d always thought of it as making the best out of a bad situation, out of a life I’d never wanted. That was why I was never what anyone would call ‘happy’. You changed that. You made me like this life, made me want it, and made me glad to have it. You made me want more.”

“Same here.”

“Then don’t even consider leaving me again. Not for any damn reason.”

Wanting to calm his mood, I lightly raked my nails down his back, shooting him a teasing smile. “But if I’m a good girl all the time, you’ll stop tying me up and torturing me with orgasms.”

Grinning crookedly, he rolled us so that he was draped over me. “Unfortunately, I can’t do that right now because I have nothing to tie you up with. But we can definitely do everything else.”

I chuckled. “No, we can’t. There’s no way that we’ll manage to keep quiet. The mansion is packed full of people and I’m not sure if the walls are vampire-soundproof.”

He began slithering down my body. “Then don’t forget to comment on how big my dick is.”

Laughing quietly, I reached down and cuffed him over the head. Then his mouth was on me, toying with my clit, and my laugh turned into a moan.

“I love how you taste. I want more.” He spread my legs wider, opening me fully to him. Then his talented tongue was doing all sorts of things – each move was sensual and teasing. Swirl. Lick. Stab. Flick. The rotation changed each time, building the friction, winding me tighter and tighter. Finally, I imploded. Of course he didn’t stop. Not until he’d pulled another two orgasms from me with just his tongue and fingers.

While I was quaking with aftershocks, he crawled up my body, and rested himself on his elbows. Then he did the strangest thing. He slung the pillows and duvet on the floor and tucked the fitted bed sheet around me. “What are you doing?”

His devilish smile made my stomach quiver. “Just hold on tight.”

No sooner had my arms circled his neck than there were familiar flutters in my stomach as he teleported us to…oh.

“I told you I was going to fuck you on the beach.”

(Jared)

Almost like I was unwrapping a present, I unfolded the crème bed sheet that I’d tucked around Sam. Looking down the length of her body, I groaned. Every inch of her was beautiful, sinuous, and mine. Collaring her throat, I took her mouth – the kiss was slow but deep, and demanded everything from her. She gave as good as she got…but the sneaky little minx also tried to make the kiss her own, tried to intensify it and make me lose control. Tried to take control.

I tsked. “Uh-uh, baby. We’re going to go at my pace.” I skimmed my hand down her throat, between her breasts, over her flat stomach, and down to cup her possessively. She arched into my hand, moaning. I plunged a finger inside her. So damn hot and slick. “Do you know what’s going to happen?” I asked, slowly pumping my finger in and out of her. “I’m going to fuck you nice and slow; I’m going to keep it like that until you can’t take it anymore. Then when you beg, I’ll give you more.”

She narrowed her eyes, clearly not liking that plan. It wasn’t often that I asked her to beg. I wasn’t one of those guys who needed to constantly hear it, which was a good thing really since Sam wasn’t much for begging. But hearing her tell Imani to cut our bond had hurt. Sure I knew why she’d done it, knew how her mind worked. And I knew that just because it wasn’t something that I ever would have done didn’t mean that she might care less for me than she had before. But still, hearing her say it…it had fucking hurt; hurt in a way that had left me feeling a little insecure in how she felt about me, about us. I needed to hear her beg now, needed to hear that she still wanted this as much as she had before, needed to see the same desperation in her eyes that I’d seen a million times before.

“You know I don’t like to beg.”

Withdrawing my finger, I curled my arm around her ass, tilting her hips. “But you will. Because you know how good it will be when I give you what you want.” Slowly, I fed her an inch of my cock. Her muscles tightened around me, trying to pull me deeper, and it took everything I had not to slam home. Instead, I gave her another inch, watching as pleasure, need, and a hint of impatience flickered on her face. Still moving slowly, I slid deeper and deeper, groaning as her nails dug into my back. Finally, I was buried balls-deep inside her…exactly where I needed to be. Her muscles clasped me even tighter. “Fuck, baby.”

“Yes, fuck,” she gasped, locking her legs around my waist and bucking slightly.

I smiled. “Oh I’ll fuck you all right.” In a smooth, sluggish movement, I pulled almost all the way out before sliding back inside. Again and again, I did it, loving how hot and tight and slick she was around me. Knowing how sensitive her neck was, I kissed, licked, and nipped every inch of it – making her body go more and more pliant beneath mine. When I grazed my teeth over her pulse and sucked hard, she gasped my name.

Her nails cut into the skin of my back. “Do it. Bite me.”

Instead, I swirled my tongue around the shell of her ear and briefly nibbled on the lobe. My thrusts were still teasingly slow, and her body was quivering with need and frustration. I spoke into her ear. “Are you ready to beg yet?” I gave her another agonisingly slow thrust and she mewled in frustration. “What is it, baby? Tell me what you want.”

“You know,” she bit out.

“I do, but I want to hear you say it.” I licked over her pulse and nipped it gently before sucking at it once more.

She actually fucking growled at me. “I want it harder. Faster.”

“Then beg. Beg me to give it to you, and I will.”

She slapped my shoulder instead. “You can be such a fucking twat! You know I don’t like begging!”

“And I don’t like hearing my mate tell someone to cut our bond,” I said softly. There was no judgment in my voice, but there was a pain I couldn’t hide.

Sorrow flashed in her eyes. “You know why I did it.”

“But it’s not something you’ll ever do again, is it?” The question was rhetorical, but she still shook her head in answer. “Good girl. Now…give me what I want, and I’ll give you what you want.”

There was a lengthy pause before she muttered, “Please.”

I reared back and slammed into her, wrenching a loud groan from her. “Like that?”

“More.”

“I’ll give you more. And you’ll take it.” Without leaving her body, I sat upright, keeping her tight against me. I kissed her hard – it was too hard, too rough, but I couldn’t soften it. Gripping her hips, I lifted her until only the head of my cock was lodged inside her, and then I impaled her hard. She tried to take over, but I shook my head. “All I want from you is those eyes.” The second her lids flipped open and those aquamarine eyes tinted with mercury met mine, I began ruthlessly slamming her up and down on my cock.

She threaded her fingers through my hair and held tight, trusting me to give her what she needed. I bent her backwards just enough to suck a hard nipple into my mouth. She had the most perfect pair of breasts – I’d been obsessed with them since day one. I bit down on her nipple, and her blood gushed into my mouth. As I drank, I moved one hand from her hip to her other breast, zapping the nipple with my thumb. Her muscles clenched and rippled around my cock each time and, fuck, it felt too good.

“Jared, I’m gonna come.”

That was fine with me, because I could feel the telling tingle in the bottom of my spine and I knew I wouldn’t last much longer. I released her nipple and pulled her flush against me. “Tell me you’ll never leave me, Sam,” I demanded in a tone unintentionally harsh. “Say it.”

“I won’t leave.”

Slipping a hand between our bodies, I sought out her clit with my thumb. “You’re mine, Sam. Mine to keep. Remember that.” A few zaps to her clit were all it took: those aquamarine eyes went blind with pleasure and her entire body tightened around me. She bit the crook of my neck and my climax thundered through me, seeming to go on and on and on.

Her whole body sagged against mine when she finally stopped drinking. “Love you,” she slurred against my neck.

I dropped a kiss on her shoulder. “And I love you, baby. More than anything.” And for that reason, I’d need to tell her about the vision that I’d had through Luther. There was no denying that I should have told her before we Bound, but I’d panicked that it would make her change her mind. That same sense of panic was still with me now, but it was wrong to keep this from her. She deserved to know. I just had to hope and trust that this wouldn’t change anything, had to trust in her.

Smoothing her hair away from her face, I said, “I need to tell you something.”

Lifting her head to meet my gaze, she arched a questioning brow. I sensed her sudden unease, but it wasn’t visible in her expression.

“I’ve never told you about the vision that I had through Luther, have I?”

She blinked, her unease replaced by extreme curiosity. “No, I don’t think you did.”

“It was when I was made a commander within the legion that Antonio offered for me to have a vision. I was originally going to turn the offer down. I’ve never believed that things are pre-destined, and I didn’t like the idea that I wasn’t in control of my own fate. But I was curious.”

Sam smiled. “It was curiosity that made me accept the offer as well.”

“In my vision…” I hesitated, scared – yes, fucking scared – of how she’d react.

Sensing my fear, she tightened her hold on me and shot me a look of concern. “Jared, whatever it is, just tell me.”

I took a deep breath. “In my vision, I was standing on a podium in one of Antonio’s parlour rooms. And he was announcing that he would be stepping down as Grand High Master and…I knew in the vision that I would be replacing him, even though I didn’t hear him say it. But when the vision ended, I just laughed. I hadn’t believed that it would ever happen in a million years.” Because no one had ever made me feel important, no one had ever made me think that I’d ever be given a role like that. “I wondered if maybe Luther’s visions were more like methods of motivating people. One thing I was sure of was that it would never come true.”

“But then Antonio later made you Heir.”

“I almost refused. I didn’t like the idea that it made me close to the fate that I’d seen in that vision. I wanted to be in control of my own path. But I also thought that that was a stupid fucking reason to turn down Antonio.”

Obviously confused about where I was going with this, she pursed her lips. “So you haven’t mentioned this before because…you didn’t like that it was coming true?”

If only it were that fucking simple. “I didn’t mention it before because…Sam, I was alone on that podium. You weren’t there. Nobody was.”

Her eyes widened and her mouth fell open. “Oh.”

When all I sensed from her was shock and she didn’t try to move away, I continued. “I wasn’t alone and grieving someone, so it wasn’t that I’d had you and then somehow lost you in that future that I’d seen. I was alone and I was okay with it.” I watched her face carefully, searching for any sign that she would pull away. Not that I’d let her pull away, but I’d need to be ready to pin her down if it came to that. “I never told you about it before we Bound because I was worried that if I did, you would take it as some kind of sign that we weren’t meant to be together, that our futures weren’t supposed to collide or something.”

Mixed in with her shock was now confusion, but there was thankfully none of the apprehension or disquiet that I’d expected. “You never thought that that was what it meant?”

I cupped her face. “The point is…I didn’t care if it did. I didn’t care if it meant that the only way I’d ever one day replace Antonio was if I was alone. I still don’t. I’m not giving you up.”

She was quiet for a minute. “What you’re saying is…you knew when you Bound with me that you could very well be working against a future in which you ascended?”

“Yes, I knew it, and I didn’t care. No one and nothing could have made me stay away from you. I wanted you, needed you, and I had every intention of Binding with you – even if that meant that someone else would take over from Antonio. I just wanted you.”

She blinked, still more shocked than anything else. Again there was a short silence. “So when you say that I come first to you, you really do mean it, don’t you?”

“Finally she gets it.”

That got a smile from her, but then her expression turned speculative. “Are you sure you didn’t pursue me so hard because you were fighting the idea of your fate being controlled?”

It was hard not to feel sorry for her when she came out with crap like that. “Sam, if that was the case, I wouldn’t have accepted the position of Heir, would I?” My tone said ‘duh’.

“And none of this ever gave you any doubts about Binding with me?” Pure and utter disbelief coated her words.

“No. Not one.” I rubbed my nose against hers. “I don’t know why you weren’t in that vision. You told me that you’d been in Evan’s vision, and I know that he had his vision around the same time that I had mine. So it couldn’t have been that your future as a vampire was unsure at that time.”

She shrugged one shoulder. “Maybe it was that our future together was uncertain.”

“That makes no sense to me. From the second I saw you, I wanted you. Even knowing on some level that you’d turn my life upside fucking down, I was determined to have you. And after the first kiss, I was fucking hooked. Believe me when I say that I’ve explored every possible theory as to why you weren’t in that vision and I haven’t come up with squat. The important thing right now is that you aren’t going to take the vision as a sign that we shouldn’t be together or some stupid shit like that.”

She scrutinised my face. “Why have you told me this? I can sense just how much you’re panicking that I’ll do a bunk. Why tell me about the vision?”

“I don’t like keeping things from you. I don’t want lies – not even lies of omission – between us. I don’t want there to be anything that can eat away at the bond, and it didn’t feel right to keep this from you. I’m trusting that you won’t leave.”

And that was a damn difficult thing for me to do, because my two greatest fears were that something would happen to her or that she would leave. Honestly, it was still a shock that she had given me a chance to begin with, considering that I’d been a total asshole when she first arrived at The Hollow. The fact that she Bound with me still boggled my mind because I just found it too difficult to accept that she’d always care for me. I knew my faults, knew how fucked up I was. And when your own mother couldn’t love you, it made it hard to believe that anyone else would. Yet, here Sam was. And she thought I’d let her go? The crazy bitch wasn’t going anywhere. If she believed differently, then she was crazier than I thought.

She stroked the tip of her finger over my bottom lip. “Thank you for trusting me. It means a lot to know that you do.” She knew me well enough to know just how big it was for me to place trust in another person. “I don’t care about the vision, Jared. I’m here and I’m staying.”

It didn’t sound like there was a ‘but’ coming. Still, I needed to be sure that she wasn’t going to try fighting me on this. “You’re not stupidly worried it means something bad?”

“No. Besides, I know that you would choose to be with me over replacing Antonio if you were made to choose. So I have nothing to worry about, do I?”

A relieved smile spread across my face. “You have absolutely nothing to worry about.” I licked at the seam of her mouth, coaxing her to open for me. When she did, I plunged my tongue into her mouth, stroking her own, drinking her into me. It was a few minutes before I finally pulled back. By then, I was hard all over again. Gently, I lifted her and slowly impaled her on me once more. We both groaned. “All that other stuff means nothing if you’re not with me.”

She swiveled, pulling another groan from me. “I told you, I’m here and I’m staying.”

I snorted, slowly impaling her again. “Like I’d have let you go anywhere. It just meant that I would have had to tie you to the bed for a while, keep you prisoner until you changed your mind about leaving me.”

She brushed her mouth over mine, doing another swivel. “That actually sounds like it would have been fun, but it won’t be necessary. I love you; I ain’t going anywhere unless you’re coming with me.”

I flexed my cock inside her. “Oh I’ll be coming.” I laid her down on the sheet and then gently rolled so that she was straddling me. I let her take the lead this time; it was slow, but still deep, and I came as hard as I always did.

When the aftershocks finally subsided, she sighed. “Now take us back to bed before any sand makes its way into places it has no right being.”

I chuckled, bringing her to lie flat against me. “Hold on tight.” I meant more than just right then, and she knew it.

Her face softened. “Always.”