A certain recluse, 1 know not who, once said that no bonds attached him to this life, and the only thing he would regret leaving was the sky.
–Yoshida Kenko
She did not appear to recognize him. He stood before her, back arched and legs trembling, and could not speak.
Hushpad raised her head languidly and stared at him. "Yes? What do you want?"
"Hushpad!" he choked. "It's me! Tailchaser!"
The fela's eyes opened in surprise. For a long moment both cats were still.
Hushpad shook her head wonderingly. "Tailchaser? My little friend Tailchaser? Is it really you?" In a heartbeat she was on her paws, then they were together, sniffing, rubbing noses and muzzles. Fritti felt a great warmth in his breast. Soon the room was filled with the drowsy sound of purring.
Later they lay nose to nose while Fritti told Hushpad of his travels and adventures. At first she was full of praise and wonder, but as the story wore on she asked fewer questions. Eventually she fell entirely silent, grooming Fritti contentedly as he talked.
When he had completed his tale he rolled over to look at Hushpad.
"You must tell me how you came here!" he cried.
"I went down into the depths to find you-yet here you are, safe. What happened?"
Hushpad arched her chin. "It was very brave of you, Tailchaser, really-going after me like that. All those terrible creatures, too. I am quite impressed. My own story, I'm afraid, is nowhere near so exciting."
"Please tell me!"
"Well, it's very simple, really. One day-it seems so long ago, now-the M'an simply put me in a box. You know, like a sleeping box, but with the top covered. Well, he didn't really put me in the box- actually there was a little bit of pril fish in there. I am very fond of pril fish, of course, or I simply never would have gotten in. I was in the box for ever so long, but I could see out through some holes in it. We traveled and traveled, then came at last to the Bigwater. We got into a shell-thing and swam across the water."
"I rode in the shell-thing!" said Fritti excitedly. "That's how I got here."
"Of course," Hushpad said absently. "Well, that's how I came to this place. I think it's very nice here, don't you?"
"But how about the Growler?" asked Tailchaser. "Don't you ever have trouble with him? It seems as though he would make this a dangerous place to live."
"Huff-so-Gruff?" She laughed. "Oh, he's really just a big kitten. Besides, I don't go out much. It's so nice and warm in here… and the M'an gives me such nice food. So nice and warm…" She trailed off.
Fritti was disconcerted. Apparently Hushpad had never been in any danger.
"Did you think of me often?" he asked, but there was no reply. She was fast asleep.
When the Big One came into the room and found them lying together, Tailchaser sat up, bristling. The M'an approached slowly, making low noises. When Fritti did not run, the M'an leaned down and stroked him gently. Tailchaser pulled away, but the Big One did not follow-only crouched with paw extended. Fritti moved hesitantly toward it. When he was close enough he gave it a cautious sniff. The M'an-paw smelled, interestingly enough, of fish, and Fritti closed his eyes, nose wrinkling with pleasure.
The M'an placed something on the floor near him. He recognized it instantly. It was a supper bowl. One scent of its contents and Tailchaser's caution evaporated.
The Big One scratched behind Fritti's ear as he ate. Fritti did not mind.
Hushpad seemed different. The slenderness and grace of her paws and tail were unchanged, but she had become a good deal plumper-round and soft beneath her glossy fur. Neither did she seem as energetic as she had once been-she preferred sleeping in the sun to running and jumping; Fritti could only entice her into games with great difficulty.
"You always were very bouncy, Tailchaser," she said one day. He felt hurt.
She was pleased to see him, of course, and enjoyed having a companion to chat with, but Fritti felt unsatisfied. Hushpad just did not seem to understand all that he had gone through to find her. She did not pay much attention anymore when he told her of the wonders of Firsthome, or the majesty of the First-walkers.
The food was very good, though. The Big Onfe-gave them lovely meals, and was always kind to Tailchaser, stroking and scratching him, and allowing him to roam at will. Fritti did not get along so well with Huff-so-Gruff, the dog, but they maintained an uneasy truce. Fritti was careful never to get too far away from shelter.
So the days wore on in the place Firefoot had called Villa-on-Mar. Each sun was a little warmer than the one before. Flocks of migrating fla-fa'az stopped briefly on the island as they passed away to the north, and Fritti had great sport with them, although he was seldom hungry enough for serious hunting. Time passed smoothly as a quiet stream. Tailchaser grew plump himself, and restless.
One night in high spring, as Meerclar's Eye approached another fullness, several Big Ones came across the Qu'cef in a large shell to visit the M'an. The nest was full of Big Ones, and their booming voices echoed everywhere. Several of them tried to play with Fritti.
Big, grasping paws jerked him up in the air and squeezed him, and when they held him close to their faces their unpleasant breath made him squirm. When he pulled away the booming voices roared.
Fritti leaped to the window, but Huff-so-Gruff was stalking sentry outside, in an evil temper. Running between the legs of the bellowing, grabbing Big Ones, Tailchaser retreated to the room where Hushpad lay curled in sleep.
"Hushpad!" he cried, prodding her. "Wake up! We have to leave this place!"
Yawning and stretching, the fela looked at him curiously. "Whatever are you talking about, Tailchaser? Leave? Why?"
"This place is not right for us," he said excitedly. "The Big Ones grab us and carry us, they feed us and stroke us… there is no place to run!"
"You are making no sense at all," she told him coldly. "We are treated very well."
"They treat us like kittens. This is no life for a hunter. I might as well have never left my mother Grassnestle's nest!"
"You're right," said Hushpad. "You're right, because you're acting like a nervous newborn. Whatever do you mean, 'leave'? Why should I go anywhere?"
"We can hide in the shell, as I did before. We can steal away and go back to the forest, the marshes anywhere," Fritti said desperately. "We can run where we want. We can raise a family."
"Oho, a family, is that it?" she said. "Well, you just put it out of your mind right now. I've had enough of your pawing and sniffing, Skydancer knows. I've already told you I'm not the least bit interested in that sort of thing. I'm shocked to see you acting so ridiculous. The forest indeed! Leaves and burrs in my fur, and nothing to eat for days at a time! Visl and Garrin and… Harar knows what else! No, thank you."
When she saw the hurt, startled expression on Fritti's face, her expression softened. "Listen, dear Tailchaser," she said. "You're my friend, and I think you're very special. I think you're just upset. The Big Ones can be noisy and frightening sometimes. Just stay away from them, and tomorrow everything will be as calm and quiet as before." She rubbed his muzzle with her nose. "Now, just go to sleep. You'll see later that this is all very silly." She laid her head down and closed her eyes.
Fritti sat and stared.
Why doesn't she understand? he wondered. Something is wrong here, I can feel it.
But what was it? Why should he feel as trapped as ever he did belowground?
Hushpad mewed in her sleep and flexed her claws.
I should be happy, Fritti thought. Finding Hushpad was my heart's desire,… wasn't it? Lord Firefoot said I would find my heart's desire here on Villa-on-Mar…
Tailchaser walked slowly to the open window and bounded up onto the sill. The great light from the hill above the dwelling cast its bright beam out across the dark waters of Qu'cef. The air was warm, and full of the scents of growing things.
When the shell-thing bumped against the shore, Fritti emerged from his hiding place. He bounded past the startled Big Ones, out of the shell, and onto the gravelly beach. The M'an flock made noises of surprise. With a flirt of his orange tail he was up the slope and into the Eye-lit meadows.
He stood on a grassy hill and thought of all the things he would do. Pouncequick waited for him at Firsthome. He must see him again. And his friends at Meeting Wall, of course. What stories he had to tell! So many places left to see!
And Roofshadow, of course. Firsa Roofshadow, dark and slender as shade.
A night bird trilled. The world was so big, and the night sky was so full of glimmering light!
Like a fire, like a star that burned in his heart and head, it came to him then; he understood. He laughed and bounded, and then laughed again. He leaped and whirled on the hilltop, and his voice rose in delight.
When his dance was finished he sprang down the slope and ran singing into the fields, his tail waving behind him. Meerclar's Eye watched calmly as his bright form vanished into the tall grass.