Stone Cold

Chapter 4

SHAME

I waited until my mum wasn’t looking and then dodged out through the kitchen and onto the porch. No one else was out here, which suited me fine.

I lit a cigarette and paced, trying to slough off the high concentration of life, trying to make the edges of reality go away so I could deal with the “normals” a few minutes more.

Eleanor drifted over to the porch rail and floated up to sit on it, facing out toward the yard, one hand lifted to feel the rain, which fell right through her.

I leaned against the wall, one boot pressed against it, staring past Eleanor and smoking. Ignored the world, ignored the heartbeats, ignored the loudness, the warmth, the life. Pushed it all away until there were no bright edges, there was no sound. There was nothing I could care for. Nothing I could kill.

“Drink,” Zayvion said.

And just like that, the world came crashing around me again.

Zay and Terric were both leaning on the porch rail facing toward me, beers in their hands. Eleanor had floated over to make swoony eyes at Zayvion, and what woman wouldn’t? He was a six-foot-plus, dark-skinned, muscled, smoldering-hot-gaze, easy-smiling dude. He was also one of the most loyal, responsible guys I knew and head over heels in love with Allie.

Apparently the ladies liked those sorts of things.

“. . . paying any attention to us?” Zay asked.

“Almost.” Terric took a swig of beer, watching me.

“Heard every word,” I said.

Zay leaned forward, offered me a beer. I took it.

“Aren’t you supposed to be in there with the party people, papa Jones?”

“Allie’s got it covered,” he said. “I’m mostly here to kick out anyone who annoys her.”

“That explains why you’re out here with Terric, then,” I said.

Terric shook his head and took another drink of beer.

Zay gave me a brief smile. “It’s been, what, two months since I’ve seen you?”

“Three. I’m touched you’ve been keeping track, what with all the baby on your mind.”

“Shame,” he said. “You know you’re welcome in our home. No matter what kind of crap you’re mixed up in.”

“Crap?”

“I was talking to Paul the other day,” he said.

“So?”

Paul was Paul Stotts. Detective Paul Stotts. He used to chase down the illegal magic users in the city. Still did, come to think of it. But he was also the husband to Allie’s best friend, Nola. Which made Paul our friend too.

Except when we were doing illegal things.

“He wanted to know if I’d noticed the upticks in strange deaths lately. About a dozen people who were involved with the Authority back in the day have gone missing.”

Terric was giving me that graveyard stare.

“What am I supposed to know about this?”

“He said they’ve disappeared. Not even bones left behind. Not even ashes,” Zay said.

“Disappeared could mean Cuba,” I said. “It doesn’t have to mean dead.”

“Maybe. That’s what he was thinking too. Until the most current disappeared.”

“Oh?”

“They found a pile of ash in his backyard. With a single bone in it.”

Shit.

“And how does that involve me? For that matter, how does it connect to the other missing people?”

“The ashes were in the glyph symbol for Death. Every last person suspiciously missing was a member of the Authority who had . . . a checkered past. All dead within the last couple months. There aren’t many people in the world who can use Death magic strong enough to kill someone with it. Here in Portland, there’s only one person I can think of who can do it.”

“Come on, now, mate,” I said. “If you’re going to accuse a man, just come out and do it right.”

“Are you killing people, Shame?”

“That’s a question, not an accusation.”

Zay just waited. He knew me. He usually knew when I was lying, which had often put a crimp in our relationship. So I looked over at Terric instead.

“Et tu, Terric?” I asked.

“Oh, I’m very interested in your answer,” he said. “You’ve been gone a lot lately too, Shame.”

“That’s because you moved into my house”—I made air quotes—“‘for just a few days’ and haven’t moved out. A man needs space. If you both think I’ve gone rogue, how come Stotts isn’t here Miranda-ing my rights?”

“I told him I’d talk to you,” Zay said.

I did not know Zay had that kind of pull with him. Interesting. “And?” I said.

“And make a decision on what happened next.”

See, when Zay threatened, it was a subtle sort of thing. Unless he was breaking your fingers. He wasn’t turning me in to Stotts yet if I could give him a good reason not to.

I swigged beer and let the cold and bitter wash through me. It would be easy to lie.

Except I wouldn’t get away with it. Not with these two who were practically brothers to me.

“I don’t know who Stotts is talking about,” I hedged.

“Let’s just settle on a yes/no,” Zay said amiably. “You killing people?”

I hated it when he got specific. “Maybe a little.”

Terric’s eyebrows went up and Zayvion shifted his shoulders a bit. “Who?”

“Come on, Z. You can trust me.”

“Who?”

“Might as well say,” Terric muttered. “You know he won’t let it go.”

I sighed. “There is some business that is none of yours, Zay. This is that business.”

Zay nodded, stared at his boot for a minute, his arms crossed over his chest. “You talk to me, or you talk to Stotts. That’s the way it is.”

“I don’t remember you being my boss, Zayvion. This isn’t the old days. You don’t have any right to tell me what to do.”

“Shame,” Terric warned.

I didn’t need a warning. I knew what Zayvion was—he was Allie’s Soul Complement, which meant when Zay and Allie used magic together they were just as dangerous as Terric and me. They could, if they wanted to, reach into the core of magic and do the apocalyptic breakage too.

If anyone was ever going to end my life, if anyone could, it would be Zayvion.

“Who?” Zay asked. “Why? Two easy questions.”

I held up one finger. “People,” I said. Then held up another. “Personal.”

Zayvion had this thing that happened when he was really ticked off. His eyes, which were brown, flashed with flecks of gold. It was worse back when magic was strong and he was guardian of the gates. Nowadays he had to be all kinds of pissed before there was even a glint of gold in his gaze.

His eyes washed with a metallic shine.

Oh-ho. My answers had not made him a happy boy.

“Last chance,” Zay said.

“Or what?”

He blinked slowly. “Or I will have Terric hold you down while I shove a Truth spell down your throat.”

I glanced at Terric. He lifted the beer bottle in a toast. “Your move, Caesar.”

I tipped my head back and leaned against the house again. I could feel the heat of the heartbeats beyond those walls like a flickering bonfire across my back.

Ah, hell. Truth it was.

“Those people weren’t just involved with the Authority,” I said. “They were Closed.”

Closed was the spell we used to use to take away people’s memories, ability to use magic, and, sometimes, life. Usually it was cast on people who were dangerously against keeping magic secret and safe. Sometimes it wasn’t.

When dark and light magic had been rejoined, healing it and also gentling it, everyone had gotten their memories back.

And once most people realized their lives had been manipulated by a secret group of magic users, they went a little bat-shit.

Couldn’t blame them, really.

“Lots of people were Closed,” Zay said. He should know. He was Victor’s star pupil. He had Closed a hell of a lot of people for the old man.

“You didn’t Close them, Zay.”

“How do you know?”

Here’s the part I hadn’t wanted to tell them yet. Certainly not at a baby party. “Victor left us something. Each of us.”

At the mention of our old mentor’s name, both of them suddenly went still. Terric had been his student too. Back in the day, before I’d hurt him so badly he couldn’t use Faith magic anymore, he’d been training for the job Zayvion took. Guardian of the gates.

Now there weren’t any more gates, and only Soul Complements could break magic into light and dark so that it had the destructive strength it used to have.

“What?” Zay asked with that calm that might make a person think he didn’t care, in which case a person would be totally wrong. “What did Victor leave us?”

I reached into my pocket. “I don’t know why I haven’t shown you this yet.” Behind me Allie’s laughter drifted out through the door. “I guess I thought there were other, better things for you to be thinking about.”

I handed them each a micro USB drive with their names on it.

“Where did you get this?” Terric asked. “Shame? When did Victor give this to you?”

“He didn’t. After he . . .” I shrugged one shoulder. “After Eli killed him, I went over to his place. To look around. I . . . nicked a photo he had on his mantel. From that day we all hiked Mount Hood, remember?”

Zay nodded, studying the chip of plastic in his palm.

“Wasn’t until I brought it home that I noticed the back of the frame didn’t fit right. He’d glued three drives to the back of the picture. One with each of our names on it.”

“What’s on them?” Zay asked.

“Who says I looked?”

“Come on, Shame,” Terric said. “We know you.”

“Fine. I looked. He made a kind of picture album for each of us. Photos, some documents, things from when we were younger. I think there are pictures of your mom and dad, Zay. Your real mom and dad.”

He’d gone very, very still. He didn’t talk much about his parents. Oh, I’d heard the stock answer he gave to everyone who asked, but he was fostered out young. For all I knew, he didn’t even remember what his biological parents looked like.

But Victor knew. Victor always knew everything.

“What else?” Terric asked quietly.

“On yours is information about Soul Complements. All of them. Us,” I corrected, “throughout history. All the good, all the bad. On yours, Z, is Victor’s diary. Every damn day of his life since he joined the Authority. A hell of a lot of secrets.”

Finally Zay looked away from the drive. “What’s on yours?”

“A classified list. People who were Closed. Dangerous people. People who now are unClosed, people who now have all the memories back of what they did, what they were capable of doing, and of what the Authority did to stop them, change their lives, ruin their lives.”

“Why?” Terric asked. “Why would he give you that list, Shame? You’re not a Closer.”

“He didn’t want their memories taken away again. Didn’t want them Closed. He wanted them dead.”

I drank and let them deal with that for a bit.

Terric scrubbed his fingers back through his hair, which just fell back over his eyes. “Jesus. He left you a hit list?”

“He knew what I was. What we each are. Who else was he going to leave a hit list with?”

“Us,” they both said at the same time.

“Because you carry Death magic in your bones?” I said.

“No,” Zay said. “Because we were Closers, Shame. Not you. We dealt with these kinds of people. Not you. We’re trained for it. We were good at it.”

“Hey, now,” I said with a grin. “Are you jealous your dead teacher didn’t tap you for the job? ’Cause you’re sounding kind of jealous.”

Gold washed over his eyes again. And a thought occurred to me. Maybe with Allie pregnant and less than a month out from delivery, it was not the best time to rankle Papa Jones.

“How many?” Zay growled.

Terric glanced over at him, startled, then back at me. He shook his head just slightly, telling me not to push Zay any further.

So of course, I pushed. Just a little.

“Not your business, mate. Victor didn’t want you to help, Zay. He left this for me. Me alone. So now you’re going to leave it to me. Alone.”

The muscles in his arms tightened. It might have been a few years since we were running hard, but the man had lost none of his edge. I was pretty sure if both of us had no magic at our disposal, he would kick my ass in under five minutes.

Okay, under one.

But that’s not how things were anymore. He and I were pretty much on equal ground. Except as far as I knew, Zayvion wasn’t controlled by magic. Zayvion wasn’t ridden by it and fighting it every moment, losing his humanity to it. Because only Terric and I had been dumb enough to sacrifice our lives and souls for each other on the magic battlefield and literally shove both Life and Death magic into each other to survive.

We’d taken magic into our blood and bones and flesh in exchange for dying. No other Soul Complements had come together while drowning in magic as Terric and I had. No other Soul Complements carried magic in their bodies.

Zay certainly wasn’t that stupid.

That was my job: making bad choices.

Well, mine and Terric’s job.

“Zay, Shame,” Terric said. “Let’s think this through before anyone starts throwing punches.”

Peacemaker. I rolled my eyes at him.

“We are going to make a deal, Shame,” Zayvion said, a little calmer than a moment ago. “If you’re taking someone down, you tell me. That way I can make sure Stotts is off your ass.”

“What do you think Stotts can do to me?” I asked. “Death magic user trumps cop.”

“He’ll throw you in jail,” he said. “Things aren’t the way they used to be. Which means that if you decide to take someone out, the Authority doesn’t have the reach or the power to protect you anymore.”

I dug for a cigarette, lit it. “I don’t need your help, Zay. Not with the list. Not with the police. This is my business. And you don’t need to be a part of it. As a matter of fact . . .” I exhaled smoke and tapped ashes into my empty beer bottle. “There is only one thing you should be focused on.” Laughter rolled out of the house again and I waved the cigarette in that direction. “That right there.”

Zay pushed off the rail and took the distance between us in three strides. He stood there, towering above me, glowering.

“Angry black man hasn’t worked since we were fifteen,” I said.

“You want to kill these people, I won’t stand in your way,” he said. “But if you don’t tell me who you’re after before you go after them, I will shut you down, Shame.” Gold rolled across his eyes again. Heat lightning signaling a storm. “I will take you down.”

“I already have a mother, Z. Don’t need you riding my back.”

“Are you hunting anyone now?”

A car engine cut off and a door opened and thunked shut. Someone was coming this way. Not that I could see around Mt. Zayvion.

“Right this minute?” I grinned.

He cracked his knuckles and Terric strolled over—finally—and put his hand on Zay’s arm.

“I’ll watch him, Zay.”

“Like you can,” I started, then shut my mouth. Kind of a dumb thing to say because Terric of all people could watch me. We were bound at the soul. His magic, my magic. If I killed he’d know. He’d feel it. He’d probably felt it all along.

“Hell,” I said.

“Before,” Zay said again. “Tell me before you kill. So I can cover your ass, you idiot.” He punched me in the shoulder, just hard enough it stung.

“Hey, now,” I said. “Keep that up and it will get personal.”

“Tell me you heard me,” he said.

“I heard you.”

“Terric. Zay,” Dashiell called out from the yard. “You two killing Shame?”

“Not yet,” Zay said.

“Good,” he said. “I have news.”

Zay tipped his head down just a bit, giving me one last look. I took another drag off the cigarette and exhaled smoke through my smile.

He pulled back and got out of my space.

Which was good. It wasn’t easy controlling the Death magic when he was that close, burning that hard, pumping life with every beat of his heart.

“What’s the news?” I asked.

I wiped the sweat off my mouth and paced over to the railings where Zay and Terric had been standing, needing some fresh air. My hand was shaking. Not out of fear. Out of need. That little magic trick Terric and I had pulled in the car had worn off already.

I needed to kill. Soon, to take the edge off Death magic’s hunger.

Dash looked . . . different. I’d been so used to him in an office setting as our assistant when Terric and I had been, ridiculously, given the job of running the Authority in Portland after the apocalypse that I almost didn’t recognize him in casual mode.

Dark thick hair, a little too long, looked like he’d combed it back with his fingers into a sort of messy, wavy thing. He had on black-framed glasses that actually looked good on him. But that’s where assistant Dash stopped resembling day-off Dash.

Day-off Dash wore faded blue jeans and a heavy gray wool sweater that showed just a bit of the brown belt at his hips, and opened up at the neck in a collar held together by a single wooden button. He hadn’t shaved, and the stubble showed cheekbones and a strong jaw. When he caught sight of Terric and smiled . . .

It was weird to know a guy you used to work with—a friend—was sort of into the man you were unwillingly tied to.

Weirder still to get that emotional echo of Terric’s confused feelings about Dash.

Terric liked Dash. I thought he might like him a lot. But ever since the complete disaster that had been Terric’s last boyfriend, Jeremy, Terric had been avoiding the whole relationship thing.

“The news,” Dash said, “is that we have a lead on Davy.”

“You know where he is?” I asked.

“We know where he’s been.”

“Where?” Terric asked.

“Spokane.”

“You don’t think he’s there now?” I asked.

Dash shook his head. “We sent some people from the area to take a look around. The entire building is empty. No one’s there.”

“Do you have records? Eyewitnesses who saw him?” Terric had suddenly snapped into ex-head of the Authority mode. He was all about dotting i’s and crossing t’s during times like this.

At times like this, I was all about getting out of the work he’d want to saddle me with.

I pushed away from the rail. “Well, then. I’ll leave you boys to it. Thanks for the beer.” I took a step toward the house.

A shadow darkened the doorway, then moved just enough to let the light fall on her features. Sunny, Davy’s girlfriend.

“If you take one step off this porch, Flynn, I will hunt you down. You owe me.”

The others fell silent and each gave Sunny a measuring gaze, then looked at me to see what I’d do.

I didn’t have to guess what she was talking about. I owed her a favor, and it looked like she’d come to collect on it.