10 ALEX

I HAVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT it and I think it would have been better for all of us if Brayden had died on the bus.

Then Sahalia wouldn’t be so mad at Niko, and Niko wouldn’t be so mad at himself.

And Josie.

Well, when Josie wakes up, I think she will be very upset.

But if Brayden had just died, then we could all feel bad or sad or whatever, but get on with it.


Niko napped next to Josie for a while, then Jean made him wake up and give her his clothes to ‘purify’ them. He put on some men’s clothes she had lying around.

Everyone was hungry so we had some trail mix and some cookies and some water. Jean took some and wolfed it down.

The speed at which she ate the cookies let me know that she wasn’t about to share any food with us. It let me know she didn’t have much. Or any.

We went through Niko’s backpack to take stock of what we had.

Of course, he had packed well, so there was a little of everything:


1. 2 40-ounce bottles of water.

2. 1 ½ bags of trail mix.

3. 5 packs of beef jerky.

4. 4 packages of tuna.

5. 8 protein bars.

6. Bandages, Band-Aids, and antibiotic cream.

7. 2 bottles of Benadryl.

8. Assorted foil packs of pills in a plastic bag.

9. 1 gun.

10. ½ box of ammunition.

11. 2 flashlights.

12. 1 long rope.

13. 2 boxes of matches (each in its own plastic bag).

14. 3 pairs of wool socks (This seemed like too much to me, but I didn’t say anything.)

15. 1 rain poncho.

16. 3 candles.


The water was definitely a problem. We would need more. And the food situation was not great either.

Max wanted to eat a protein bar but Niko said absolutely not.

I felt stupid I hadn’t grabbed a bag.

Niko didn’t say anything, but there was a moment when he said, ‘This is all we have? Out of everything on the bus?’

And I felt bad.

He’d packed it so well and now a bunch of mean thugs had it all to themselves.


Sahalia cried herself to sleep. She was curled on one of the banquettes.

Max, Batiste, and Ulysses went and lay down on the bed around Josie. They arranged themselves like puzzle pieces, fitting themselves next to her body as closely as they could. We were safe, but I think they wanted some extra feeling of comfort.

I took the other banquette, which was not comfortable at all, and used my very smoky sweatshirt as a pillow.


I woke up to the sound of arguing. I had missed the start of the argument. I had also missed the moment when Josie woke up, but it must have been quite a shock for her to find us not on the bus and learn she was type O and how Niko had drugged her and then about the cadets and Brayden.

It was Brayden she seemed stuck on.

‘How could you leave him?’ she demanded.

‘Josie, I had a choice. Him or you,’ Niko protested.

‘He’s wounded!’

‘It all happened fast. I didn’t have time to do anything.’

They were standing near the door. Just one candle was lit on the Formica counter, peach-scented, I think, and it gave them a glowing quality. I could just make out their shining silhouettes.

‘After everything you said about not wanting him to die, you left him on a bus with a bunch of strangers?’ she asked softly.

‘I had no choice.’

‘There had to have been a way, Niko!’ Josie said.

I could hear the tears in her voice.

‘Josie. Josie, please,’ Niko pleaded.

Their voices became hushed. I craned my neck up to see. He had her by the arms and had drawn her close to him so their foreheads were touching.

‘I promise I feel just as bad as you do,’ he said.

And then they kissed.

Okay, that was new information.

I guess Niko and Josie were boyfriend/girlfriend now.

‘We have to go after them,’ Josie said.

‘It’s impossible. We have to go on. We have to try to make it to Denver.’

‘But Niko—’

Suddenly he was close to shouting. ‘You’re the one who said we could do this! You said if anyone could get us to Denver it would be me!’

‘And I meant it—’

‘Well, now we’ve got to try,’ Niko said. His voice was flat and gruff, the way it gets when he’s serious. ‘We’ve got maybe two days’ worth of food and water if we really conserve and we’re about 25 miles away. Jean told me she heard there is an Army camp about 10 miles down the road. If we get there, they’ll help us.’

‘What about the others?’ Josie asked. ‘The cadets are headed right for them.’

‘Dean is smart,’ Niko answered. ‘That store is a fortress. He won’t let anyone in. And who knows if the cadets will even make it there? Maybe they’ll get ambushed.’

There was hopeful malice in his voice.

I had been thinking along the same lines.

‘So we’re driving, then?’ Josie said. ‘Can we find a car, do you think?’

Niko turned away from Josie and started repacking his backpack.

‘Is that the plan?’

‘No,’ Niko said. ‘I mean, the white stuff. It eats the tyres. That’s why we didn’t see any other cars moving on the road. So unless we can find one that’s been inside this whole time…’

‘We’re going to walk?’ Josie asked. Her voice was hard and incredulous.

‘But don’t worry, Josie, I can carry you.’

‘What?’

‘I’m going to sedate you and carry you. Or look for a wheelbarrow.’

Josie started to laugh.

‘That’s absurd, Niko.’

‘I can do it. I can do whatever it takes to get you to safety, Josie!’ he promised.

She shushed him and then she kissed him, pressing her body to his.

‘If you’re walking, I’m walking,’ she said. ‘I’ll tape the gas mask down or something. I’ll be very, very careful.’

‘No, Josie,’ he protested. ‘It’s not safe—’

She must have stopped him talking by kissing him on the mouth.

Josie whispered something to him. I think it was, ‘I love you,’ because then Niko said, ‘I love you, too.’

I tried to go back to sleep. I didn’t want to be a Peeping Tom or anything and they were making out pretty hard.

‘Josie?’ called Ulysses from the bedroom. ‘Josie!’ Then something in Spanish.

Maybe he was having a nightmare.

She moved to go comfort Ulysses.

‘We’re going to get these kids to safety, Niko,’ she said and I could hear the smile in her voice. ‘We can do it. You and me.’

What about me? I thought to myself.

And then I realized, maybe she was talking about me. Maybe she thought I was just one of the kids.

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