“You think you should go and not me?!” Jake hissed to me on the shuttle. “I’m the baby’s father. Me. You’re just a boyfriend. You’re a temporary condition.”
“Stop it, you two,” Astrid said. “Captain McKinley said he’ll take all four of us. Why are we still discussing this?”
An elderly couple at the front of the bus glanced our way.
“Because Jake was drunk before noon!” I said, struggling to control my voice. “He’s a liability!”
“STOP!” Astrid said. Her eyes were flashing and there were red spots of angry blush on her cheeks. “If you can’t be nice to each other, then I don’t want either of you to come. I mean it. Niko will take care of me just fine, if you two can’t get it together.”
That shut us up.
Though that whole time, Niko was just staring out the window. He didn’t even seem to hear us.
He was smiling, for the first time that I could remember since the last time I’d seen him with Josie, before they left the Greenway.
Our plan was to go to the tent so Astrid could rest for the afternoon. She would sleep, and in the meantime, Jake, Niko, and I would pack up. We’d also call a meeting of the kids to tell them the plan. And I had to take Alex for a walk.
Just imagining me telling him I had to leave made me feel like I’d eaten a loaf of lead.
But when we got near Tent J, Niko suddenly motioned for us to follow him and he darted back down toward the greens.
I saw why—two guards were stationed inside our tent.
“Do you think they’re looking for Astrid?” I asked.
“I have no idea,” he answered, looking over his shoulder. “But there’s no reason to risk it.”
So instead of lying on her cot, Astrid was lying on an odd little pallet of tree boughs Niko showed us how to make. A little Boy Scout daybed.
The kids had chosen a good spot for their playhouse. The woods were thick, and there was a small rolling hill in between the stand of trees and the golf course, which meant it was out of view from the Clubhouse.
One silver lining to the whole disaster was that the kids’ imaginations seemed to have grown back much stronger than before.
I remembered them in the Greenway, how bored they were with the toys, after the initial feeding frenzy wore off.
And now, because they had basically nothing—no toys except for a lone soccer ball and a ratty doll Chloe had conned out of some younger kid—they played outside. With leaves and branches and bits of bark and moss.
We had all agreed that Jake, Astrid, and I should stay hidden until nightfall; Niko left us in the woods while he went back to pack.
The kids would come for a meeting at 4 p.m. and Niko would come back after dinner with as much food as he and the others could smuggle out.
Niko was specifically going to tell the other kids not to come down and see us until the meeting time. He didn’t want there to be a lot of going back and forth during the hours when everyone was usually waiting on line at the listings or watching the afternoon movie.
There was one exception, though—Alex. I told Niko to send Alex to me. I needed to tell him alone.
He came bounding down the lawn, newspaper in hand.
“What do you think?” he asked. Then he saw Astrid lying on her stick bed. Jake was sitting on the ground, drafting a good-bye note to his dad. “What’s going on? What are you guys doing down here?”
I took him by the arm.
“Let’s go walk,” I said.
“Hey, Alex,” Jake drawled. “How’s it going?”
“Did you see the letter?” Alex asked him, holding it out. “We haven’t had any calls yet, but there’s a nice woman in the office who promised to let me know as soon as we do—”
Jake took the paper.
“Cool, man.”
“Let’s walk,” I repeated. Astrid was asleep and I didn’t want her to wake up and say anything bad about the letter to Alex. Not until I could explain what had happened to Astrid.
His first response was just what you’d think it would be: “What?”
I laid it out again. That the letter had identified Astrid as a pregnant O who had been exposed multiple times, and that Astrid was afraid she’d be taken away for testing against her will and that Captain McKinley basically agreed.
It was horrible to watch his face fall. Like seeing a kid who made a Mother’s Day breakfast realizing he’d lit the house on fire.
“What did Captain McKinley say, exactly?” he asked.
“He said she should leave here, tonight.”
“But what did he say about the testing? Where are they taking the women?”
“I don’t think he knows. But he confirmed that they’re drugging pregnant women and taking them away. That’s all she really needed to hear.”
“Wow,” he said. “This is really tough. Where is she going to go?”
Mmmmmm. Now for the hard part.
Our feet crunched on the leaves for a moment, while I tried to think of how to say it.
And I guess the pause itself conveyed the information because he said, “No.”
He grabbed my arm.
“You can’t go with her. You and I made a promise to each other to stay together. And now… and now our parents are going to find us, Dean. Thanks to the letter—”
“I have to go,” I told him. “I can’t let her go alone.”
“She won’t be alone. She’ll be with Niko.”
“Niko’s going on a rescue mission!”
“Jake should go. He’s the baby’s father.”
“We went to go find him today. Do you know where he was? He was drunk at a poker game! At, like, ten in the morning! He’s a total screw-up. He won’t keep her safe!”
Alex sputtered. “All she needs to do is get somewhere safe! Niko can leave her and Jake in some motel somewhere—”
“Just listen to the plan. Me, Astrid, Jake, and Niko are going to go—”
“This is stupid!”
“We’re all going to help Niko make it to Mizzou, which is on the way—”
“I hate this plan!”
“It’s on the way to Pennsylvania. Then we’ll all meet up at Niko’s uncle’s farm! And when those calls start coming in, from the letter, you can tell our parents to meet us there.” That was the part I thought he might like.
“You’re going to become a fugitive, just because Captain McKinley has some unfounded fear about scientists?”
“We’re not fugitives, we’re just leaving here. People are doing it every day.”
“Those people have papers and are allowed to go home.”
“We are going early,” I said. Alex rolled his eyes. “Look, they took another pregnant woman from her bed, at night. Her sister told us so. Then Captain McKinley gets all freaked out about them wanting Astrid? There’s something bad going on and we can’t let Astrid get sucked into it.”
Alex stopped, rooting his feet into the ground.
“I’ve heard you the past few days, telling Niko how dumb it would be to go after Josie. What about the drifts? What if they’re real? Now you’re going to go with him?”
“We have Captain McKinley helping us. He says he’ll get us as close as he can. It’s really not that dangerous. I’m going to go to keep Astrid safe and to get her to the farm. We’re taking no risks. None at all.”
A maple leaf, orange like a flame, landed in his hair.
“I hate to leave you, Alex. You know I do.”
He was looking down. I picked the leaf out.
“But I love her. I have to take care of her.”
“She doesn’t love you the same way!” Alex protested.
That hurt. I won’t pretend it didn’t. But I knew he was mad.
“Alex, look, Jake is a drunk and Niko’s only concerned with getting to Josie. Astrid has these cramps. She’s stubborn and she doesn’t rest enough. She needs someone to look after her and it’s me. I’m the guy. It’s my job.”
Alex’s face crumpled. “I don’t want you to go. I don’t want to be away from you, again.”
I hugged him to me and he cried into my shirt. “I’m sorry,” I said. “But you’ll see, we’ll meet up in Pennsylvania. This is no big deal. You’ll see. We’ll all be together at the farm.”
One day ago I had wanted to poke some holes into his dream to let reality in.
Now I was using his dream against him to convince him to let me go.
When we got back, Niko was there with the little kids. They seemed delighted we’d taken an interest in their playhouse.
Henry was seated at Astrid’s side on her stick pallet, his hands on her belly. And Chloe was on the other side.
Chloe put her cupped hands to Astrid’s belly. “Hello?” she said. “Can you hear me, baby? KICK IF YOU HEAR ME!”
“Come on, Chloe,” Astrid said. “Give me a break.”
“Yeah,” Max added. “You don’t want to give the baby a shock or he’ll come out nalbino.”
Max was using Jake’s pocketknife to whittle a stick into a spear.
“A nalbino?” Chloe asked.
“Yeah, a baby with no hair and pink eyes.”
“We didn’t have hair when we were born,” Caroline said. “Are we nalbinos?”
“Guys, it’s al-binos,” Astrid said.
“Albinism is caused by a genetic mutation,” Alex interjected. “It has nothing to do with scaring a pregnant woman.”
As mad as he was at me, he still wanted the kids to have the facts straight.
I felt my throat start to get tight. It was hitting me that we were really going to leave.
“He’s right,” Astrid said. “Thanks, Alex.”
She was trying to catch his eye, but he wouldn’t look at her.
“I guess I owe you an apology for the article,” he said stiffly.
“No, no,” Astrid interrupted. “I owe you the apology. You must be so pissed at me—”
“What the hey are you two talking about?” Chloe asked. “Is it about the letter?”
“Are we really going to be famous?” Caroline asked me. She slipped her tiny hand into mine. “I think I just want to be regular.”
Finally Sahalia came, holding a backpack of Astrid’s belongings that Niko had apparently asked her to pack. Sahalia slung the pack down along with the three Niko had packed with stuff for me, him, and Jake.
“What’s going on?” Sahalia asked.
“Are we having a sleep-out?” Caroline added. “Are we going camping?”
“I’m afraid not,” I said. “We’ve learned that some scientists want to take Astrid away for testing.”
All eyes turned to Astrid. Caroline hugged her and buried her head in Astrid’s neck.
“No!” “Never!” “You can’t go!” was the chorus from the little kids.
“Listen up!” Niko said. “This is important. We’ve decided that Jake, Dean, and I are going to leave and get Astrid to safety and go get Josie, too.”
I saw misery spread across Sahalia’s face. Her eyes flashed to Alex with concern.
The kids began to erupt into wails and protests again but Niko cut them off.
“We could have not told you guys, but we wanted you to know the truth because we’re all family. You understand? We’re treating you guys like big kids, so you have to act like it.”
“When are you going?” Ulysses asked.
“Tonight.”
Henry walked over, taking something small out of the pocket of his corduroys.
“Take this,” he said. Henry handed me five dollars.
“But your dad gave you that for your birthday!” Chloe exclaimed. “That’s birthday money!”
Caroline spoke for him, as she sometimes did. “Daddy Junior might need it, Chloe. Like, really.”
That made my heart hurt. Astrid was Mommy Junior. I guess I didn’t know I was Daddy Junior.
“Thank you, Henry,” I said. “We’ll need this on the road.”
“How are you getting there anyway?” Chloe asked. “Are you going to walk?”
Niko put up his hand. “We’re not going to talk about the details, because people might come to you guys and ask a lot of questions. If anyone talks to you tonight, you haven’t seen us. But tomorrow, if they ask, you can tell them the truth. We left because we were scared for Astrid’s safety.”
“But we will be together again,” I said. “I promise.”
“Tell Josie I say hi, okay?” Max asked. “When you get her?”
“Of course,” Niko said.
“Tell her I said quack, quack,” Chloe added. “She’ll get it.”
“Tell her I miss her,” said gap-toothed Ulysses.
Alex had a hard time looking at me. His eyes were red. Sahalia kept patting him on the hand. He wouldn’t meet her eyes, either.
Caroline pulled back, in my arms, and looked at me. Her freckled face was full of concern.
“You have to take very good care of Mommy Junior,” she told me. “Because moms need a lot of help.”
Alex came alone, to bring us a plastic bag filled with the bits of dinner that everyone had managed to smuggle out for us.
He handed me a wad of money.
“What’s this?” I asked.
“It’s what I was saving, plus a hundred and five from Mrs. Dominguez. She says God bless you.”
Alex looked away, over the greens to the dark blue sky.
There was at least three hundred dollars in there.
“Hey, you don’t have to give me all the money you’ve earned,” I said. He’d worked hard fixing small electronics for people.
“Take it,” he snapped.
“I just feel bad—”
“Dean, I’d give every cent I’ll ever make in my whole life to keep you safe. This will buy you guys food and water and gas. Who knows what you’re going to need!”
“I’m sorry,” I said, for the hundredth time.
“You get there safe,” he told me. “Or I will never forgive you. I mean it, if you die out there, or you don’t show up, I’m going to go around for the rest of my life telling people that my brother was an a-hole.”
He was acting tough, covering up the pain, and I really started to hate myself.
Alex stormed away, up the lawn, toward the tent city that was our home.
It was hard to wait, after that.
I kept wondering if I was doing the right thing.
Was it stupid to leave? What would my parents think? I tried to channel my dad—he was so logic driven—what would he say about my choice? When I thought about my mom, my throat got tight. She’d want me to protect Astrid, wouldn’t she?
I stood against a pine tree. The wind played in the branches around us. The golf course was beautiful at night.
Captain McKinley would come for us soon.
Astrid came and leaned up against me. Jake was sleeping on Astrid’s pallet and Niko was sitting closer to the road, watching for the captain.
“I have an apology to make,” Astrid said quietly. I glanced sideways at her. She was wearing my old green cap and a white Irish sweater that didn’t cover her belly quite all the way.
Her breath made a little cloud when she spoke.
“The reason I wanted to find Jake before…”
She took my hand.
“Is that I was going to ask him to take me to Texas.”
I breathed this in. It felt like a punch to the gut. I closed my eyes and put a hand up to my face.
“I was scared and you weren’t taking me seriously and I was desperate,” she said, it all spilling out in a confession.
She sounded sad, worried, pained to be hurting me.
“But as soon as I saw him I gave up that plan,” she said, begging me almost. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s time,” Niko said. “Come on, guys.”
My heart felt like it was in the grasp of some iron-gloved fist.
“Please don’t be mad,” she pleaded. “I do love you. I really do. And I’m scared to go without you.”
I grabbed her, maybe more roughly than I meant to, and I kissed her on the mouth.
“I love you, too. And there’s no way I’d let you go without me,” I told her.