Ruler of the Realm

Twenty-eight

‘What’s everybody looking at me for?’ Pyrgus demanded.

‘You’re next in line for the throne,’ Mr Fogarty said.

‘No, I’m not – I abdicated!’

‘You want me to go find Comma?’ Mr Fogarty asked sourly. They were standing together – Mr Fogarty, Madame Cardui, Kitterick her orange dwarf, Pyrgus and Henry – in the Throne Room. Mr Fogarty had posted guards on the door.

‘All right,’ Pyrgus said, ‘let’s keep it between ourselves for the moment.’ He looked around, still hoping to get out of taking charge. But no one else was volunteering. ‘OK, are we sure she’s not in the palace?’

Mr Fogarty said, ‘She’s not in the palace.’

Henry said quickly, ‘You don’t think she’s been kidnapped, do you?’ He looked worried.

Mr Fogarty shrugged. ‘Could be, but her personal flyer is missing.’

Pyrgus blinked. ‘She’s got a personal flyer? How come I don’t have a personal flyer?’

‘You’re under age.’

‘Blue’s a year younger than me! She can’t have a personal flyer.’

‘Blue’s Queen. She can have anything she damn well likes.’

‘You mean if I’d stayed on as Emperor, I could have had one?’

‘You could, but you didn’t, so you can’t. Now can we get back to the point?’ snapped Mr Fogarty. ‘She’s gone off somewhere, or been taken off somewhere, without telling anybody.’

‘She’s always going off without telling anybody,’ Pyrgus mumbled, still stung by the business about the personal flyer. ‘Did she tell anybody about that oracle thing?’

Mr Fogarty said crossly, ‘No, she didn’t. But given that we’re on a war footing, don’t you think it’s just a little bit suspicious that she should disappear now?’

‘We’re on a war footing?’ Pyrgus asked. He looked stunned.

‘We’re on a war footing?’ Henry echoed.

Mr Fogarty strode over to the throne and absent-mindedly sat down. He sighed. ‘Before she left, she called on Creerful and ordered a Countdown.’

‘What’s a Countdown?’ Henry asked, but everyone ignored him.

Pyrgus stared at Mr Fogarty open-mouthed. His sister had gone power mad. It was one thing to prepare for war as a distant possibility. It was something else to put a Countdown in place. A Countdown gave the Generals a deadline. Once it passed, they launched an attack without further orders.

‘How long have we got?’ he asked.

‘Three days,’ said Mr Fogarty.

Pyrgus groaned. ‘She’s gone to see Hairstreak.’ It was the only thing that made sense. Countdowns were a tradition established by a Purple Emperor named Scolitandes the Weedy, who’d had a horror of being kidnapped. Each time his duties forced him to visit an enemy, he ordered his generals to attack within a stated time if he didn’t come back. He reasoned that if he was still alive he’d be rescued and, if not, revenged. That was close on five hundred years ago. As a strategy, Countdowns had been largely abandoned in recent years – they’d started far too many unwanted wars – but Blue was a stickler for tradition.

Pyrgus stared wide-eyed at Fogarty. ‘If we attack Hairstreak, it’ll start a war. What happens if she doesn’t get back in time?’

‘That’s a problem,’ Fogarty confirmed, nodding.

Henry said brightly, ‘Perhaps she hasn’t gone to see Hairstreak. Perhaps she’s gone somewhere we could attack without starting a war.’

Mr Fogarty glanced at Madame Cardui, but said nothing. After a moment, Madame Cardui said uncomfortably, ‘Actually, we… ah… we know she’s definitely gone to visit Hairstreak.’

Three sets of eyes turned on her. She was wearing a lilac caftan that clashed violently with Kitterick, whom she was using as a seat. It was Pyrgus who spoke.

‘We do?’

Madame Cardui nodded. ‘We put a follower on her.’

‘We?’ Pyrgus demanded. ‘Who’s we?’

Madame Cardui shrugged and pouted. ‘Very well, deeah, I put a follower on her. The day she became Queen.’

‘You put a follower on a member of the Royal Family?’ Pyrgus didn’t even try to keep the outrage from his voice. Followers were illegal throughout the Realm and seldom used even by Faeries of the Night.

‘You may be grateful I did,’ said Madame Cardui, not at all contrite. ‘It means I can tell you exactly where she is at this precise minute.’

‘Where is she at this precise minute?’ Henry asked quickly.

‘Approaching Hairstreak’s new mansion,’ Madame Cardui said blandly.

Pyrgus was still glaring at her. ‘You haven’t put a follower on me, have you?’

Madame Cardui smiled. ‘Of course not, deeah – you’re not nearly important enough any more.’

Mr Fogarty seemed suddenly to realise he was sitting on the throne and stood up quickly. ‘We can argue about all this later,’ he growled. ‘Just now we need to decide how we’re going to handle it.’

Henry said, ‘This follower thing – can it tell you whether she’s alone?’ He was looking at Madame Cardui.

‘She’s unprotected, but not quite alone. She’s carrying a concealed endolg.’

Henry said, ‘Not Flapwazzle?’

Madame Cardui nodded. ‘I’m afraid so, deeah.’

Mr Fogarty was shaking his head. ‘It’s obvious what she’s up to. If she’s smuggling in Flapwazzle, that means she’s trying to find out whether Hairstreak’s serious about his offer. Typical Blue manoeuvre – never considers repercussions, never considers the danger to herself.’

‘Or Flapwazzle,’ Henry muttered.

‘Yes, or Flapwazzle!’ Pyrgus echoed, glaring at Fogarty as if it was somehow his fault.

Mr Fogarty ignored them. ‘The question is, what do we do about it?’

After a minute, Henry asked, a little anxiously, ‘Do we have to do anything about it?’ He looked around at the others. ‘I mean, she may pull it off. And if Lord Hairstreak’s offer is genuine, he’s not likely to harm her, is he? It’s all right if she’s back inside three days, isn’t it?’

Fogarty favoured him with a contemptuous look. ‘First law of politics: don’t trust Hairstreak. What happens if he finds out what she’s up to? Best case scenario, the offer’s genuine and he’s insulted by her lack of faith. Worst case, it’s not genuine and he’s got himself a tasty hostage.’

‘But the difficulty,’ said Madame Cardui, smoothly taking up the monologue as Mr Fogarty paused for breath, ‘is that we can’t simply send a contingent of troops to protect her. For one thing, that might start the very war we’re working hard to avoid. For another, Blue obviously prefers not to have guards on this mission, and she is Queen after all. We have to take some account of her wishes.’ She hesitated, then added, ‘We need to move with subtlety. The situation is extremely delicate. My people have even had hints of demon problems.’

Fogarty glanced at her in surprise. ‘The portals are still closed, aren’t they?’

Madame Cardui nodded. ‘All standard portals, yes. But -’

Henry cut across them both. ‘Pyrgus and I will go after her,’ he said firmly.