Ravensoul

Chapter 35

Diera did not want the dance to stop. She moved her hands all over his back and arms, feeling the strength of him and the tenderness. She touched the wound in his lower back and felt him relax into it. She breathed in his scent. Male and powerful, sweat and determination. Belief. Another day it would have been an aphrodisiac too powerful to resist.

His breath was caressing her neck and his hands were stroking her back. They swayed gently where they stood, closer than she could remember for years. Before the visions began.

‘I’m sorry I didn’t believe you,’ she said.

‘When?’

Neither of them moved to look at the other. The touch was everything.

‘When The Raven came to you in your dreams.’

‘I’m glad you didn’t,’ he said. ‘Someone had to challenge me. It’s always been you.’

‘And are you ready now?’

‘No. But I never will be.’

‘I love what you said to the boys. They will hurt but they will never feel cheated.’

‘I hope not. And what about you?’

‘I’ve felt cheated of you so often it ceases to surprise me,’ she said, and did surprise herself by laughing.

‘What’s so funny?’

‘You, my hero husband. Because you ought to be a ridiculous figure but you never were and you never will be.’

‘How so?’

‘Men puff themselves up for all sorts of stupid things. Trying to make themselves great in the eyes of their women and their children. But you… well you just went and did what you had to do every time. Hardly even a backward glance and never any big words. That was hard. Sometimes I wanted you to be all grand and speak about the great good you were setting off to do.’

‘You’d have seen straight through that.’

‘And you always came back like you’d spent the day at the bakery or something.’

Diera could feel Sol smiling.

‘Not this time. And I suppose my grand words lacked a little.’

‘Well you’ve not had a great deal of practice.’

They fell silent again, continuing to sway. But Diera knew it could not go on. Three further impacts rattled through the catacombs, each one sounding closer and more violent than the last. She prised herself away from him and the chill that touched her body was a prelude to all that was to come.

‘Come on. I don’t want this to be more of a waste than it already is,’ she said.

Sol took her by the hand and they walked slowly towards the goblet that sat on the floor beneath the grey, static mist. They stood staring down at it.

‘That dust will seriously impair the flavour,’ said Sol.

Diera punched his shoulder. ‘Don’t.’

Sol drew them down. He sat cross-legged on the floor. She let him go and picked up the goblet, caressing it in both of her palms. She gazed down at the liquid that was to kill her husband. A teardrop fell into its centre, rippling the dust. Everything that she had tried to shut from her mind came crashing back in and she felt the strength desert her. Sol had taken the goblet from her, replaced it on the ground and dragged her to him before she gave in. The agony washed over her and through her, wiping away her courage and leaving her only with despair and a desperate longing that felt like a shard of ice in her heart.

‘I can’t…’ she began. ‘I don’t… want… this.’

‘I know, love, I know. Lean into me, let it out.’

And she did. She tried to talk but all that came were mumbles of her anguish. Her cries came out hard, tearing from deep within her and rasping in her throat. Her body quaked in Sol’s arms and she thumped uselessly at his chest.

‘Don’t make me… don’t make me. Don’t leave me alone.’

‘My darling, you will never be alone. I will live in you and the boys for as long as you need me.’

‘But I cannot reach for you in the night. I cannot feel you close to me.’

‘I know, I know.’

Sol’s chest was heaving and she felt dampness on her shoulder and the fall of tears on the side of her face. She forced the collision of memories, future fears and current pain from her mind and fought to regain a little control.

‘How will I know you have done what you go to do?’

‘Because a door will open next to you and you will walk through it and into a new world. A new home where you and the boys can be safe forever.’

‘How long will it take?’

‘I cannot say, my love. But trust me that I will succeed. Believe in me, and it will make me stronger on my journey. And stay hidden down here, far from the Heart and far from the surface. The enemy will not touch you here. Let Densyr keep you safe. He is returned to himself just in time.’

Diera nodded and let Sol go again. She wiped at her tears with the backs of her hands. Sol cupped her face and kissed her tenderly.

‘It was always you who was the true hero,’ he said. ‘Wherever I was and whoever I fought, you always stood by me, gave me faith. I need you to do that one more time.’

‘I will,’ whispered Diera.

She leaned to her right and picked up the goblet. Her hand did not shake any more. She sat down beside him, switched the goblet to her left hand and put her right arm about his shoulders. He let out a great shuddering breath.

‘I will not fail you,’ he said.

‘You never do,’ she replied.

Diera brought the goblet towards his lips. His right hand came across and held it with her.

‘Goodbye, my love. My life was ever sweetened by your presence,’ said Sol.

‘Goodbye, Sol. Until our souls touch each other again.’

They brought the cup to his lips and after the slightest pause he drank, not stopping until the last of the mixture was gone. Diera took the goblet and laid it on the ground. She put a hand to his cheek and turned his face towards hers. Sol placed both his hands on her, cupping her neck and she did likewise. They held each other’s gaze and a lifetime flowed between them.

Sol’s eyes blinked slowly. One of his hands fell to his side. She turned him then, leaning his head against her chest so that she could stroke his cheek. Her other hand lay on his chest.

‘Rest now, my darling. Rest.’

Above her, the mist cleared and a warmth entered the room, caressing their bodies. Sol’s chest rose and fell. It did not rise again.

‘Oh Sol. My strength, my brave heart. I love you. Don’t leave me. Please don’t leave me.’

Diera held her to him and rocked him gently until she felt tender hands about her.