How in the hell had he fucked up so badly? he wondered as he signaled for the bartender.
It was that damn arrangement.
Of all the fucked up things he'd done in his life that was one he wished he could go back and change that night. He'd probably already been half in love with the stubborn woman when he'd come up with that asinine idea. What in the hell was wrong with him suggesting something like that?
If his mother was still alive she'd bitch slap him into tomorrow for pulling that shit. She'd raised him to respect women even if he didn't particular care for them and his uncles backed up that little lesson with the unspoken promise of an ass whooping if he ever forgot. Before Zoe there was no question that he'd been an asshole, still was, but he'd never treated any of the women in his life the way he treated her, like she was nothing but a convenience to him.
The fucked up part about the whole thing was that the only woman he'd ever truly cared about and loved was the one he treated like she didn't exist while he paraded women around who he couldn't have given a flying fuck about because of the way they looked.
He let out a humorless snort of laughter at that.
Most of the women he'd dated in the past had annoyed the shit out of him and could never manage to keep his attention, but his frumpy little tenant had him practically drooling after her twenty-four-seven. He was so fucking in love with her that he felt sick and empty when she wasn't around and so unbelievably happy when he saw her that he couldn't believe his own stupidity.
This was all his fault. If he could go back and change things he would. Instead of offering sex like he was doing her a favor he should have done what any normal man would do for the woman he couldn't stop thinking about and asked her out, begged if he had to. He loved spending time with her and could easily think of a thousand things he'd like to do with her, but he'd been stupid and selfish.
If only he could go back and change things......
Well, he wouldn't change the pregnancy. It had only been a day since he found out about it, but already he was excited about the future. It didn't matter if his baby had reading problems like him, he'd be there for his kid and support him and of course teach him how to beat the shit out of anyone who made fun of him. Of course Jason's kids would probably be insanely smart and hopefully would be there for Trevor's kid the way Jason had been there for him.
He hoped his child didn't have an obsession with food, but judging by the way Zoe was devouring her burger he figured that wish was useless. Wait a minute........
Hadn't Zoe ordered baked ziti for herself? He sighed heavily as he gestured for the busy bartender once again. Well, it looked like he was going to go hungry for the next six or seven months, which was fine with him. As long Zoe and his baby were happy then he'd learn to deal.
But she certainly didn't look happy, not the way she had when he showed up at their bedroom door with flowers. Then she'd looked so heartbreakingly beautiful with that little shy smile. It didn't hurt that her outfit highlighted all of his favorite curves. He had to stop himself from grabbing her and showing her how much he liked what he saw and remind himself that they had a date.
A date that was not going very well, which again was all his fault. If he hadn't gone out of his way to ignore her and try to keep her at an arm's length he wouldn't be in this mess right now. She didn't believe that he loved her or wanted her, which now that he thought about it was pretty fucking stupid.
How the hell could she not see that he was in love with her?
Had he dated or shown any interest in any woman since they came together? No. He'd been faithful to her even if she hadn't expected it. He'd also spent every free second of his time with her and came up with a million excuses just to be near her. Hell, he even told the woman that he loved her, he thought, getting a little angry over all the bullshit.
"What can I get you?" the bartender asked when he finally came over.
"All set," Trevor said instead of ordering the apple juice Zoe had asked him to get just to make him to leave the table, because she was angry with him and everyone who wouldn't take a fucking hint and leave him alone or because she was a sneaky little food thief, he didn't know, but right now he also didn't care. They had some things to settle and they were damn well going to settle them now.
"Why the hell did you just brush me off like that?" Hank demanded, stepping in his path and blocking him from his goal.
"Because I was busy just like now," he said, moving to step around the man only to find himself blocked again. Why in the hell hadn't he told this douche bag off years ago? He couldn't stand the prick on a good day and today definitely was not a good day.
"I don't understand your problem," Hank said, shoving his fingers through his overly gelled hair. "Every time I offer to do you a favor by introducing you to some really hot women you blow me off. Maybe instead of acting like an asshole you could show me some appreciation by stop busting my balls and coming to meet some of these women," he said, raising his voice with every word so that everyone around them could hear, including Zoe.
He didn't need this asshole making things more difficult and to be honest, and really when was he not honest with himself? he was sick and tired of dealing with him.
"My problem is that you can't take a fucking hint. I have no interest in being your wingman. Unlike you, I don't need help to get laid. Now get the fuck out of my way. I have something a hell of a lot more important to do than stand here and deal with your bullshit," he said, shouldering his way past the man as he headed towards Zoe, who looked a little nervous.
Good.
He wanted her nervous because that meant she was no longer sure that he was playing around. By the time he was through with her she was going to know exactly how much he loved and adored her. Hell, by the end of the night he fully expected an apology for ever doubting him, accompanied of course with one of her delicious sandwiches otherwise the apology didn't count. Then he would-
"Maybe if you weren't so busy sniffing around some fat ugly bitch you wouldn't need my help," Hank announced smugly as he gave Trevor's shoulder a good shove.
The first punch had been automatic and so quick that he hadn't really had much time to think about it. By the fifth punch he wasn't thinking about anything else but killing the bastard.
"Don't you ever call her that again," he snapped, following the bastard to the floor with a wild punch as he shrugged off several guys trying to pull him off the sobbing man.
"Stop!" Zoe cried as she latched onto his arm just as he pulled it back to let it go flying again. "Please stop!"
Somehow he managed to stop, but just barely. Panting heavily, he stood up and took Zoe's trembling hand into his. After one last glare at the man cowering on the floor he pulled Zoe behind him, dropping enough money to cover their tab on their table and headed for the door. He wasn't too surprised when he found Jeff, the manager, waiting for him.
"You're banned," the man informed him as if he really gave a damn.
With a curt nod he continued out the door, dragging Zoe with him. He wanted to go back in there and beat the shit out of the man until he passed out and then do it again when the son of a bitch came to.
"Trevor? Please slow down," Zoe said, sounding out of breath.
Instead of slowing down he scooped her up in his arms and headed towards his truck at the same clipped pace. There was no way he could slow down right now because if he did he really wasn't sure what he would do at the moment and actually scared him.
"Give me the keys, Zoe," Trevor said in a deceptively calm voice, but she wasn't buying it.
She'd honestly never seen anyone look so livid before in her life and with her big mouth she'd pissed off a lot of people. If she hadn't seen him in action not five minutes ago she would think she was overreacting, but she had seen him and there was no way she was letting him get behind the wheel of a truck while he was acting like this.
"No," she said, shaking her head firmly as she backed up tightly against the passenger door in the truck's cab. "I'll drive," she offered, hoping that he'd take her up on her offer so that they could go home and calm down.
"I'm fine, Zoe. Give me my keys," he bit out as he reached over to snag the keys away from her, but before he could grab them she moved her hand behind her back to get them out of his reach.
"Let me drive so that you can calm down," she said, looking around the almost pitch black parking lot and wishing there was someone around to talk some sense into him.
"I don't need to calm down, Zoe, I just need my goddamn keys so I can bring you home," he said, moving closer to her and she was half thinking about opening her door and making a run for it so she could call Jason or Jared and have them come deal with him, because honestly she was not in the mood to deal with this tonight.
"I-" she opened her mouth to let him know that once they got home he was either going to give her the key to her apartment or she was going to break the door down when he cut her off.
"And when we get home, Zoe, I swear I'm going to spank your ass for all the bullshit you put me through tonight," he said, startling her.
"What the hell did I do? If anyone here has any right to be mad here it's me," she snapped.
"No, sweetheart, I believe that would be me," he said, moving until he was close enough to reach behind her and gently yank the keys away from her without hurting her.
Knowing it was useless to argue anymore, especially since he did seem more in control right now, except for that little muscle throbbing just above his jaw and the tight grip that he had on the steering wheel, she pulled her seatbelt on.
"Why exactly do you think you're entitled to be pissed at me?" she asked, twisting in her seat to glare at him and silently daring him to say something that would get his shin kicked, hard.
Had he been ignored all night? Had he had a two-hundred and fifty pound man almost sit on top of him? Was he forced to sit there while man after man came and hit on her? Had he-
"Because I told you that I'm in love with you, Zoe, and you gave me the brush off," he said, shocking her more than she would have ever thought possible. "Do you have any idea how many women I've said that to?" he asked, not bothering to look at her as he navigated the back roads home.
"I don't know," she answered quietly.
"Only you, Zoe. I've never said it to another woman, never had to and do you know how it made me feel when you dismissed me the way you did?" he demanded. "Or how it felt to be rejected after I told you that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you?"
He didn't give her a chance to speak and that was probably for the best since he'd left her speechless.
"I love you, Zoe, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you and I swear if you tell me some bullshit like it's only because of the baby I will pull this truck over and give you the spanking you have coming," he said, making her eyes tear up, not because she actually thought he'd hurt her, he wouldn't, but because he made her feel loved.
No one ever took care of her before the way he did, or looked after her or just made her smile. The few times she'd had a boyfriend none of them ever defended her the way he did. Most of them simply ignored it or dumped her.
As difficult as it had been the first time she trusted Trevor, she realized she was going to have to do it again and risk her heart, because she knew there would never be another man that made her feel the way he did or loved her as much as she hoped he loved her.
"At this point I don't know what the hell to say or do to show you how much you mean to me. I tell you I love you and you play it off. I tell you I want to buy you a house where we can raise our family and you ignore it. I know tonight was not the best first date, but you know what?" he asked, pulling onto their street. "I don't care if no one knew we were together for the last couple of months and I could care even less if they have a problem with it."
He pulled into their driveway and threw the truck in park and killed the engine, but he didn't make a move to leave. "I don't care what I have to do, Zoe. I'm not letting you go. I've fucked up big time and I'm sorry, but there's nothing I can do to change the past. I won't sit here and lie to you and tell you that I'll never screw up again because we both know that I will, but I will never hurt you on purpose, Zoe. You have to know that."
Trevor sighed heavily as he rubbed his hands down his face. "I'm not going to push you tonight, Zoe, but you need to understand that I'm not letting you go. Not now, not ever. I'll let you return to your apartment if that's really what you want, but you should know that if you move out I'll just buy the building or the one next to it and if you quit your job and go somewhere else I'll just follow you there, too," he said calmly, which was a little freaky, she had to admit.
"Oh my god, are you talking about stalking me?" she asked, trying not to smile. It was really sweet in a Bradford kind of way.
"Yes, but if it comes before a judge we'll just call it a little misunderstanding," he said with a shrug.
"And you really think the judge will buy that?" she asked, reaching for her door because she was exhausted and even though she was trusting him not to break her heart, she still needed a little more time to adjust to this and figure a few things out.
"Probably, they bought it the last few times so I have no doubt they'll buy it this time."
She was about to ask what he was talking about, but then decided it that it was probably for the best that she didn't know.