Paradox Alley

7

The dream and the vision stayed with me as I wandered through Emerald City for at least an hour. I didn't cover much territory because there were some interesting things lying about, and I stopped to look at a few of them. What they were, I couldn't tell. More alien wizardry, I supposed.

"Jake! Where the hell were you?" Susan hugged me as I walked into the suite.

"Carl," I said, "I'm sorry I chewed you out for getting lost."

"Easy, wasn't it?"

"You bet. Are you guys okay?"

"We're all fine," Sean said. "Though `I hae dream'd a dreary dream."'

"Did you dream it, too, Jake?" Darla asked.

"Yep."

"Good morning."

The crew turned around to greet Prime.

"I hope you're all refreshed," he said brightly. Everyone nodded.

"Breakfast, then?"

"I'm starved," Susan said.

"Good. My servant will come to conduct you to the dining hall, where I will meet you very shortly. Until then."

He bowed and strode out of the suite. We all sat down to wait.

"He's always so polite and, like, formal all the time," Lori commented:

"Yeah, like he has a poker up his butt," Carl sneered.

"Carl!" Lori said indignantly.

"Sorry."

"I wonder what this servant is like," Liam mused, "and if he calls Prime `Your Lordship' or something."

"I thought he meant another of those light spheres," Roland said.

"Sounded like he meant a real live servant," Susan said. "Didn't he mention that he had one?"

"I think he did," John said. "But I wonder what real and live can mean in this context."

"I'm thinking about the dream," Yuri said.

"What was it like for you guys?" I asked.

Zoya told me, "We've been discussing it since we awoke."

"I saw those… beings," Susan said. "The ones who were having the debate."

"Anybody have any thoughts on what they were talking about?" I asked.

"It was just overwhelming," Susan said, taking a deep breath. "I can't believe that somehow I've been chosen to be witness to what will happen ten billion years in the future, that I'm a part of things happening on a cosmic scale-literally. Maybe it's too much for me. Prime's right-it's frightening."

"I think, perhaps, I have a dim understanding of the project they were contemplating," Yuri said. "A group mind of some sort. A union of conscious entities, such that the whole is greater than the sum of the parts. Obviously this was the Culmination, or the beginning of it."

"According to Prime, the Culmination is already a reality," Sean said.

"Apparently it is."

"Or so he says," I put in.

"You doubt him, Jake?" asked, not incredulously, but John as if he had doubts of his own.

"I have reason to believe-" The thought of telling them about the White Lady crossed my mind. But no; Prime very well could be monitoring our every word. He probably was. "I don't think," I went on, "we should take everything that Prime tells us at face value, and that goes for what comes by way of mystical dreams and visions. Granted, we don't have much of a way to check out his story. But a good dose of skepticism never hurt anybody."

"Jake's right," Yuri said. "We should all bear it in mind. I'm certainly far from accepting it all on faith."

"Well, I guess I'm a born believer," Susan replied. "I mean, the dream was so real. It didn't have that surrealistic quality that most dreams do. I don't want to say I'm completely convinced, but…" She scratched her scalp, scowling. "The only thing I can't figure out is what our part in this is supposed to be."

"Prime wants us to join the group mind," Roland said.

"I get the overwhelming feeling that Prime is to us as we are to a clam." Yuri said. "Or an amoeba, more likely."

"But why? I mean, why us? Why would anybody want my poor, mixed up little birdbrain?"

"I can't imagine," Roland said dryly.

Susan threw a pillow at him. "Or yours, you insufferable creep."

"Or any of ours, for that matter," Yuri said.

"He certainly is slumming, then," I said.

"He may not be God, but he must be a god, for all practical purposes. And this is his Olympus."

"Could be. But where there's a god, there may be gods."

"Are you saying that Prime is not alone?"

"Well, the notion of a group mind certainly implies the existence of others, by definition."

"You think Prime is just a part of it, then?" Susan asked.

"I dunno," I said, "but see if this makes sense. Prime is kind of like a computer terminal. The group thing acts through him. Maybe there's a supercomputer somewhere, with all these minds whizzing around inside it, see. And Prime is just an input-output device. He said as much, actually. When we speak to him, we're communicating with the Culmination:"

Susan made a face. "I don't know how I feel about whizzing around inside a computer."

"Prime," Roland said. "It makes sense that he calls himself Prime. He's probably the main input-output device."

"Makes a dollop of sense;" Sean said, nodding.

"Good guess, Roland," I said. I got up, moving from the weirdly curved recliner I was on to a comfy overstuffed chair. "Damned perceptive."

"But just a guess."

"What else have we got?" Yuri said, "At least we have a working hypothesis."

"Okay, so essentially we're dealing with a computer here. Hypothetically, that is. What does that tell us?"

"Somebody must have programmed it," Liam said.

"Not necessarily," Darla said. "Even we have selfprogramming computers."

Liam scratched his beard and nodded ruefully. "Point well taken."

"So," I said, "this computer, which very well may be in or about Emerald City, is pretty much autonomous. Hypothetically."

"And," Roland said, "hypothetically, it's in charge here."

"Probably. Next question is, what's it doing here? What does it want? From us, specifically?"

"A lube job," Carl grumbled.

"A what?" Susan asked, frowning.

"Never mind."

"What did he say?"

"Maintenance," I said. "Help. It needs us. That's the implication. The way Prime talks, it's incomplete, somehow. Is that what you meant, Carl, more or less?"

Carl gave me a grouchy look. "I don't know a damn thing about computers. Back on Earth, I never even saw one. I know that on the Skyway they're everywhere. Little things. You plug these little pipettes into 'em and they'll do anything for you. Back on Earth… I mean, when I left Earth, computers were real big things with all these spinning whaddycallits and flashing lights and stuff. When I got accepted at USC, they sent all these forms you were supposed to fill out, and this IBM card that says on it, `Do not fold, spindle, or mutilate.' That's all I know about computers."

"USC… IBM," John said, sampling them on his tongue. "Jake? Do you know what he's talking about?"

"Well, USC… sounds familiar."

"University of Southern California," Carl said. "International Business Machines, Incorporated. I have an uncle that works for IBM."

"Oh, yes, of course," John said remembering. "History of Cybernetics, my first year at Cambridge. IBM, the American computer company."

"This is interesting," Roland said. "You said you got an IBM card? Card? You mean a-"

"A card. Like made of paper."

"Paper?"

"Cardboard. Stiff paper, with all these little holes punched in it."

"Holes."

Carl nodded. "Holes."

There was a short bemused silence. Then Yuri said, "This hypothetical computer… I suppose we must assume it's a very advanced type."

"Yeah, it probably doesn't need IBM cards," I said.

Yuri laughed. "Likely not."

"Damn it," Carl said suddenly, springing to his feet. He stalked out of the room.

Susan gave him a moment's grace. Then: "Was it something I said?"

Lori looked fretful. "I think he's homesick."

"Poor kid. Aren't we all."

"He doesn't want to stay."

"It's crazy," Susan murmured.

"What is?" I asked.

"Just yesterday we'd've all given our right arms to go home. For months now we've been chasing all over creation — literally! — getting involved in the craziest goddamn shit, excuse my language, and now we can go back anytime we want to, and we're sitting here debating whether we want to get ourselves involved in sheer absolute lunacy! I think we all need to leave a call with our therapists."

"Sam's my therapist," I said. "Which reminds me. He's probably thinking we're all dead. I should have checked on him last night, but…" I got out Sam's key and flicked it on. Nothing but static. "No way this thing can punch through a kilometer of rock. I'll have to go down to the garage."

Carl came running back into the room, looking like he'd met up with something big in a dark alley. He halted, then looked a trifle embarrassed. "Scared the shit out of me for a minute." He cocked a thumb in the direction of the L-shaped connecting passage, from which came sounds of shuffling feet. "Wait till you get a load of this."

The Snark entered. "Hello, there," it said. I fell of my chair. I think I screamed.

It wasn't as tall as I remembered it to be, though it towered a good two-and-a-third meters high. A cross between a giraffe and a kangaroo, the creature had two funnel-shaped ears flopping out of a head that resembled a very strange dog. Two fully prehensile forlegs-arms, really, with four digits on each hand-dangled from narrow, sloping shoulders. It walked on two birdlike legs with wedge-shaped four-toed feet. Its bright yellow skin looked like vinyl, shiny and inert, and was daubed with pink and purple splotches. The eyes were small and round, disconcertingly humanlike.

The creature glanced around, then regarded me. From the floor, I stared back at it.

"What's with him?" it said, then surveyed the room full of astonished humans. "What's with all of you?" Its voice was high-pitched, almost feminine.

John was first to attempt speaking. "Who… uh, are you?"

"I'm your servant, dearie. Got any objections?" I looked over heads and scanned the room. "This place is a mess already. Dearie me, a servant's work is never done." It kicked Susan's bedroll. "What's all this paraphernalia?" It clucked disapprovingly, shaking its ungainly head. "What a frightful mess."

John swallowed hard. "You're… our servant?"

The creature fixed him in a haughty, indignant stare. "Who were you expecting, Arthur Treacher?"