Paradox Alley

4

"Where's Carl?" was the first thing John Sukuma-Tayler asked as he stepped off the magic escalator.

"Good question," I said. "He seems to've misplaced himself."

John scowled and shook his head. "That damn fool. If he gets us into more trouble-"

"I'm more worried that something might have happened to him."

The scowl dissolving, John nodded dourly. "Oh, I suppose you're right. Any idea where he might have gone?"

"No. I didn't want to go looking until you'd all come up. How far behind you were the others?"

"Um… when I looked back, Susan seemed to be having the most trouble getting on the thing. I don't know what possessed me to go first after you two, but I did. I think-oh, here they are."

Out of the oval opening in the green wall came Lori, Yuri, Zoya, Ragna, and Oni. Following close behind was Sean, hand in hand with Winnie and George. There was a moderate delay before Liam and Roland came through, propping up between them a slightly gray-faced Susan.

Susan stumbled off the strip, moaned, and put a hand to her stomach. "Oh, my God."

"You okay, Suzie?" I said,

She heaved a sigh, then burped. "'Scuse me. Roller coasters always made me sick."

Roland laughed and slapped her on the back. "Oh, come on, Susan. It wasn't that bad."

Susan winced and rolled her eyes. "I don't believe we went straight up… straight up! It was the worst… ooh, I can't stand it." She belched again.

"Carl is missing," Darla told Sean, who had been glancing around the chamber.

"We lost sight of him on the way up," I said, "and he wasn't here when we arrived. I suggest we start looking."

"The boy's got the devil in 'im for sure," Sean said, "but he wouldn't run off like this. Something must have happened."

"Whatever happened," I said, "it was fast. We couldn't have been more than thirty seconds behind him."

"D'you think Prime had something to do with it?" Liam asked me.

"Could be."

"Odd thing," Sean said. "I thought Prime would be here to greet us."

"And I am. Welcome." The voice filled the domed chamber.

"Hello?" I said, whirling to find the source.

"Forgive me," Prime's voice said, "I am afraid that certain exigencies have prevented me from greeting you in person. I will be joining you shortly, however, and until then I've provided-"

"Where's Carl?" I shouted.

"I'm sorry?" A pause, then: "Oh, yes. It seems the young man has gotten himself lost. That is a very easy thing to accomplish in this place, I'm afraid. Please don't worry. He also will join you very soon. He's quite safe, I assure you."

"We're concerned," I told him.

"Of course you are, and I don't blame you in the slightest. You are in a strange place and have quite naturally assumed that there is potential danger here. I fully appreciate your prudent distrust of me. I could very well be an enemy. And I also realize that you must have grave reservations concerning any assurances I might give to the contrary. After all, you know very little about me. Now, what I ultimately want you to understand is that your fears about me are not justified. I bear you no ill will and mean you no harm. As time goes on, this will become apparent. Having said this, however, I want to warn you that your natural caution about this place is justified.

There is indeed potential danger here, both inside this structure and on this planet, though the perils outside these walls far outstrip those within. Let us deal with the proximate variety. There are in and about these rooms and towers numerous artifacts, which, if used improperly, may be a source of trouble. Also, the dangers of getting lost here are quite real. This structure has certain-shall we say-architectural peculiarities, which, until they are understood and taken into account, can cause accidents. In short, you would be wise to use discretion and be generally circumspect in your movements until you get used to your surroundings. I hope I have made myself clear."

I said, "You mentioned something about dangers outside."

"Of those you will learn more later. They would be difficult to describe without my giving you an extensive briefing on the situation here."

"Okay, but I take it you aren't alone on this planet: There are others. Correct?"

"You might say that."

I was suddenly annoyed. This guy had a knack for answering questions with an unambiguous maybe.

"Thanks for the info," I said. "You said something about lunch. Also something about straight answers to our questions."

There was an indulgent smile implied in the voice. "I understand your impatience. But perhaps you need time to think about your questions first." A chuckle, then: "You are very intelligent and resourceful creatures, of that I have no doubt. Intelligent enough, perhaps, to realize that what you face here is entirely strange and new to your experience. You will be exposed to ideas and concepts which may be difficult for you to grasp. Ultimately, the goal of complete understanding might lie beyond your capabilities. I very much doubt that, but that is one proposition which must be put to the test. In any case, the learning experience itself should prove rewarding. This is why I contend that you need time. Impatience is counterproductive at best. And here on this world-constructwhich I propose we call Microcosmos, for want of a better name-it could conceivably prove lethal."

I nodded. "Okay, fine. I'm sure I speak for all of us when I say we're eager to learn. And you can bet we'll be careful.

But frankly, the suspense is already killing me. And I'm hungry."

Prime gave a gentle laugh. "No doubt. Just a moment." We waited maybe a quarter minute. Then, out of an archway to our right, came a glowing green sphere floating about two meters off the floor.

"What you see is rather hard to explain technically," Prime told us, "but its function is simple. It will guide you to the dining hall, where, if you are still amenable, we will have lunch. Please follow it there. I will join you shortly."

"I hate to keep pestering," I said, "but what about Carl?" No reply.

"What about Carl?" Lori shouted. "Answer us!"

The green sphere bobbed, then receded through the archway and into a dark corridor running tangentially to the circular chamber. There it paused, as if waiting for us.

"Lead on, MacDuff," John called to it as he started forward. He halted and looked around at everybody. "Well?" Susan was still nursing her middle. "I can't think of food right now, but maybe if I forced something down…"

"Right," Roland said, "then I'll take you for a ride on the magic ramp again. We'll look for the one that goes down this time."

"Ulp."

We followed the green sphere.

Prime hadn't been kidding about the architectural oddity of the place. Everything was goofy. Walls curved and canted vertiginously, floors sloped at odd angles. Weird perspectives tricked us at every turn. Even so, the place had a bizarre beauty to it. Rather stark, though. The walls were smooth and unadorned. No pictures, carvings, or decorations. No tapestries, weapons, or shields emblazoned with colorful heraldry. Not a proper castle after all. The floor was everywhere black with a deep shine, looking like a dark mirror. Here and about, though, stood odd thingamabobs, no doubt the artifacts Prime had warned us about. Some looked like pieces of machinery, others could have been sculpture, or for all we knew, alien hat racks.

"This place is a damn museum," Susan said.

"I was just about to say that," John told her.

I said, "Yeah, it does have the feel of one."

An odd one, though. There didn't seem to be much organization to it. Some things were lying about haphazardly; they weren't necessarily on display. Nevertheless, I got the distinct impression that this was a collection, a bunch of stuff that had been obtained at various places and carted here for storage.

We soon came to a high-ceilinged hall featuring a large centrally positioned table of irregular shape. Uniformly constructed seating appliances-the term chairs would tend to connote that one could easily sit in them-were arranged around the table, but what was on the table wasn't strange; it was food, and it all looked good. There was a huge whole baked ham, assorted roast fowl, fish, various cuts of beef, one or two of pork, and maybe one of veal. These entrees were flanked by vegetable dishes, casseroles, fruit arrangements, baskets of bread, tureens of soup, bowls of salad-and on and on. There was other stuff I couldn't readily identify, but it looked very familiar. All in all, this was something more than lunch and slightly less than a state dinner for a visiting foreign dignitary. The eating utensils looked alien but serviceable, as did the glassware.

We looked it over. Meanwhile our shining guide drifted away, exiting through an arch and into darkness.

"Quite a spread," Susan commented.

"How're your insides?" I asked.

"Getting better."

We all stood about gawking until Prime entered the hall through an archway to the left. Smiling, he strode to the approximate head of the table and stood. "Welcome. I'm glad you came. Please be seated."

We chose places around the table. Along with the rest of the gang, I regarded the "chair" on which I was to "seat" myself. It was pink, shiny, and looked somewhat like a formation of coral. The prospect of actually using the thing as a seat involved the possibility of having an autcerotic experience-or a painful one, depending on how careful you were.

"I think you will find-" Prime began, but a shout from Lori interrupted him.

She had tried sitting but had immediately sprung to her feet. "It moved!" she told us.

Prime chuckled. "The chairs will automatically reform themselves to accommodate your bodies. Simply sit down and…"

Gingerly, I sat. The damn chair did that very thing, and it did it almost before my buttocks had,touched down.

"There, you see?"

"Interesting," I said as the chair made some further adjustments, these very subtle and done much more slowly. I sank into the thing a little and stopped. It was strange, but I was comfortable.

When everyone had settled in, Prime poured himself a glass of amber liquid from a carafe. "I think you'll find this wine very insouciant and a bit immature, but compatible with almost everything here." He indicated a similar decanter near. John, who was seated to his right. There were several around the table. "Please serve yourselves. I must apologize for the lack of servants-the only one I have is engaged at the moment."

I picked up a carafe and poured the glass to my right for Susan, the left for Darla, and one for me.

Prime raised his glass. "I propose a toast. To life."

"Hear, hear," Sean said.

I inhaled the bouquet. While I was at it, I smelled the wine, too. What I got was the sense of a late-summer day… ripe fruit fallen in the orchard, warm breath of flowers, bright sun declining over the garden gate, the arbor heavy with grapes, fresh-cut hay fields, dreaming the afternoon away… like that. Odors familiar yet exotic, somehow. More than odors; an ambience. An experience.

I drank the wine and drank in the experience. There was a taste, too. It was fruit and flowers and dew-laden sprigs of wild mint; it was a dash of crushed cinnamon, a twist of lemon, a drop of honey. It was many things.

Presently, Darla said, "I've never… ever tasted anything like this."

"I'm so glad you like it," Prime said, beaming. "It is very good isn't it?"

"Ambrosia," John murmured, staring into his glass.

"What is it called? Does it have a name?" Zoya wanted to know.

Prime squinted one eye. "I think… well, a free translation would be `Earth's sweet breath of summer."'

"How appropriate. How lovely."

"Where does it come from?" Yuri asked.

"The beings who produced this wine were very much like yourselves, and were excellent wine makers. Possibly the best the universe ever saw. As I said, they were very much like you. In fact, they were your descendents, over two million years removed from your time."

"Two million!" Susan gasped.

"Yes. They were still human-very human. And they still remembered Earth, apparently. No doubt they visited that most ancient home of humankind."

"Where's Carl?" Lori broke in loudly.

Prime looked at her, his expression tolerant: "He'll be here any moment. You shouldn't worry so much, my dear."

"Two million years in our future," John said. "Very difficult to believe. But you speak as if that time were long past… to you."

"Yes it is," Prime said. "It was quite long ago. But time, to us… to me, means very little."

"Who's `us'?" I asked.

Prime drank, sat back. "I have been thinking of the appropriate word or phrase to use. Something handy-short, concise-which would impart the meaning without too much distortion. In your language there are a number of words. But I have chosen the Culmination. That is what we are. What I am. You may refer to us the Culmination."

I usually jump at the chance to ask obvious questions. "The Culmination of what, exactly?"

Prime gave me a level, sober look. "Life. Consciousness. Process. Mind. Will."

I quaffed the rest of my wine. "Stuff like that, huh?"

Prime laughed silently, his grin broad. "Yes. Stuff like that." He looked around the table. "Please, do begin. We can talk as we eat."

"Are you God?" Lori said.

"What is God?" Prime answered.

"Huh?"

"Can you define the word?"

"Well, you know…"

"Precisely, now."

Lori chewed her lip, then said, "You know. The guy that made everything."

"Guy?"

"Person. The person who made the universe. Everything."

"Made?"

She got a little annoyed. "Created. The person who created living things. That guy. The one you pray to." She rolled her eyes. "You know."

"Do you pray to God?"

Lori was suddenly uncomfortable. "Sometimes. Not a lot."

Prime smiled a little impishly. "I'm teasing you. I knew what you meant. And the fair answer to your question is precisely this: I don't know-yet."

"That's a funny answer," Lori complained.

"Nevertheless, it's the only one I can give before I explain some things to you. And that will take time." He reached for a small loaf of bread and tore off a piece. "I suggest we eat first."

"We're still a little concerned-" I began, then heard a noise to my right.

It was Carl, being led into the dining hall by a glowing sphere. Impossible to tell whether it was the same one that had ushered us around.

"Carl!" Lori got up and rushed to him. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. Where the hell were you guys?"

"Where the hell were you?" I asked him.

"Jeez, after I got to the top, I waited and waited. When you didn't show I took off and scouted around. Got lost."

"We couldn't have been more than a minute behind you."

"Yeah? It seemed a lot longer than that. I thought you guys weren't coming up."

"But you saw Darla and me on the ramp. Didn't you?"

"Yeah, that's what I couldn't figure. I thought the ramp stopped or something and you were stuck. And I couldn't figure a way to get back into that shaft and look down."

"Well, you should've stayed put," I told him.

"Sorry. I didn't go very far at all. I mean, all I did was step out of that round room. And all of a sudden I was, like, lost. It was really weird."

Carl did the chair routine. "This place is screwy," he declared after he had settled in.

"Any explanation for Carl's confusion?" I asked Prime.

"Well…" Prime had taken up a long curved ladle and was dishing himself some of what looked like shrimp casserole. "You may recall that I mentioned some architectural anomalies associated with this edifice. You will find that within the confines of this building, the properties of time and space are somewhat different from what you might normally be accustomed to. Now in most areas the effects are slight, but here and there the curvature increases, and things might seem a bit strange until you have made certain psychological adjustments. The effects are the by-products of all the different technologies in and about the place." He poured himself more wine. "For example, that conveyance you used to come up. Time flows a trifle faster when you ride it-meaning that the trip is actually longer than it seems. Not by much, mind you. I suppose Carl may have grown a little impatient. Anxious, probably. Your arrival may have seemed unduly delayed. Am I right, Carl?"

"Yeah, I guess I was pretty jumpy."

"Well, there you are. And you may have lost your way by entering an area where the shortest distance between two points is not necessarily a straight line, if you get my meaning."

"Not really."

"Suffice it to say that this building would be difficult to negotiate one's way through even without the spatiotemporal distortions."

We had all started digging in. I helped myself to a serving dish piled with what looked like steak tartare.

"I hope this fare is acceptable," Prime said. "Given enough time, the kitchens here can produce some very good food indeed. All of this was on rather short notice."

I remembered something and looked over at Ragna and Oni. "What about-"

But the alien couple had found food they could eat.

"This is most excellent," Ragna said, smiling through a mouthful of mush. "Quite like the food of which we are having at home. In fact, it is most exactly like that of same. Uncanny!"

And George and Winnie were munching green shoots with pink, pulpy heads, and were enjoying them.

I asked, "How did your cooks manage to come up with native foods for these guys-or us, for that matter? Pretty neat trick, short notice or not."

"I hope I won't spoil your appetites," Prime said, "by telling you that everything on this table has been synthesized."

"That's amazing," Yuri said. "The stuffed cabbage tastes quite authentic."

"I'm glad you like it."

Conversation lulled as the feeding got serious. I wolfed down steak, noodles Romanoff, broccoli with cheese sauce, chicken curry, artichokes in lemon sauce, two baked potatoes, a few spiced meatballs, a pile of mushrooms in onions and butter, and half a roast glazed chicken. That took care of the main hunger pangs. There were other dishes which didn't look familiar. I asked Prime about their origins.

"Other times and other places," he said. "For a little variety. Try them."

I did. Most were excellent, some were so-so. All were fairly exotic.

By then I was stuffed, and had to turn down the boysenberry torte and the lemon-cheese souffle. Well, I had a smidge of the souffle: It was light and fluffy. Very good. Everything had been superb. Good. Too goddamn good, and I couldn't figure it out.

I couldn't figure out Prime either; which wasn't surprising. He had told us almost nothing yet, and I was impatient. I'd been watching him, and he had dug in as heartily as any of us. His gusto didn't look fake. Maybe he was human.

"Where'd your cooks get the recipes?" I asked.

"There is not much we don't know-even relatively trivial things like food preparation techniques of antiquity. My `cooks"'-he chuckled--"all this was done by machines. We merely supplied the data."

"Your technology must be fantastic."

Prime leaned back, wiped his lips delicately with a pink napkin.

"We have no technology," he said.