Out of the Darkness

chapter 17

“You should not have come here,” Senna said as the small vehicle took them toward the palace. “Vir, this was not a good time…”

“I had to,” he said as the Centauri Prime spaceport receded into the background. “I stopped receiving communiques from Mariel. I lost track of where Durla’s plans stood. I was…”

“Concerned for her?” Senna asked.

He nodded. “And not just for her… also for you, and Londo. And now apparently David Sheridan has been added to the mix. You knew about this?”

She nodded, looking grim. “It’s a terrible thing. He simply showed up. No one knew he was coming, not even Lione, and he was most upset about it. The only one who did not seem surprised was Durla. Sometimes I think nothing surprises him.”

“Oh, I think we can arrange a surprise or two for him,” Vir said grimly. “Can you get me in to see Mariel?”

“He’s put her into seclusion. She’s not allowed visitors.”

“So you can’t.”

She smiled. “I didn’t say that.”

Senna strode up to the two guards who were standing outside Durla’s suite of rooms, and said firmly, “The emperor wishes to see you.”

They looked at one another, and then back to Senna. “Why?” one of them asked.

“I have known the man for nearly half my life, and if there is one thing I have learned, it is never to ask why. Lately, he does not take well to that… if you know what I mean.” And she put a finger to her temple and mimed a weapon being fired.

The guards hesitated a moment. Senna crossed her arms and displayed her best look of impatience. “I do not think the emperor likes to be kept waiting.”

Durla had ordered that a guard be kept outside his suite at all times. But Durla was not around, and Senna was well known to be trusted by the emperor. Somehow it seemed thatignoring the emperor’s wishes, as relayed by Senna, might prove to have a negative impact on their life expectancy.

They bowed slightly to Senna and hurried off down the corridor.

The moment they were gone, Senna whispered, “Vir!” In re sponse to her summons, Vir hustled down the corridor to her side. “The door is sealed,” she told him. “So I am not quite certain how we can get in…”

Vir, looking utterly confident, pulled a small device from the interior of his jacket. He aimed it at the door, and it emitted a brief burst of noise. The door promptly slid open.

Senna glanced at the device appraisingly. “Where did you get that?”

“I move with an interesting group of people these days,” Vir replied, and without another word walked into Durla’s suite of rooms. Senna followed.

He took a few steps in and then stopped. There, on the bal cony, looking out at the city, was Mariel. At least, he was reasonably sure it was she. Her back was to him. “Mariel,” he called cautiously.

Mariel turned and looked at him, and it seemed as if she could scarcely believe what she was seeing. Nor could Vir entirely believe his eyes, either. The woman he had known, the vibrant, beautiful young woman, was gone. She had beenreplaced by someone whose face exhibited unending sadness, whose skin carried with it fading bruises that hinted of past atrocities.

“Vir,” she whispered, and ran to him. She threw her arms around him, held him tightly, kissed him with such ferocity that he actually had to apply strength to separate her fromhim. “Vir… you’ve finally come to take me out of here?”

“Mariel, sit down.”

“Vir!” She allowed herself to be guided over to a chair. “You don’t know how long I’ve waited,” she said. “Is itfinally over? When do we leave? I do not care that I am still married to Durla, I will go with you, do whatever you want…”

She was speaking so fast, she was almost incomprehensible, and he gripped her firmly by the arms, kneeling so that they were on eye level. “Mariel… first things first. What is Durla doing? Where is he now?”

“1 don’t know,” she said.

“What is his timetable? Where stand the ships he’s been working on? How close to completion are—”

“I don’t know, I don’t know!” Her voice was rising, and Vir realized that she was rapidly coming to the end of her rope. “He doesn’t talk to me anymore, doesn’t tell me anything about anything! I don’t know what his plans are, and I don’t care anymore! I just want to be with you! The two of us, as it was always meant to be!”

“Vir, this isn’t getting us anywhere. We should go,” Senna warned him in a low voice.

“Vir, you can’t.” Mariel was clutching on to his arm, and all last traces of dignity, of strength, fell away from her. “Vir, you can’t leave me here…”

“Mariel, it’s not that easy. No harm will come to you, I promise, but I can’t just take you out of here. We’ll be noticed, we’ll…”

“I don’t care! Don’t you understand, Vir? All that I have endured, I have endured for you! My love for you, it is boundless, it is endless. Please, Vir, I will do whatever you ask, whenever you ask! I have done nothing but dream of you, night after night. Whenever I was in his arms, it was yours I imagined. His lips crushing against mine, but I felt them to be yours and took comfort from that! You are my everything, my—”

“Stop it!” He felt as if what remained of his soul were being shredded. “Stop it, Mariel! You don’t know what you’re saying!”

“Yes, I do! I have heard it in my head, night after night, when I dreamt of you coming for me. It is all that matters, it is the only thing, it—”

“It s not real!”

He had not expected to say it. He had not wanted to say it. For years, the guilt he had carried within him had given him no peace, but he had still been sure that he would be able to contain the dark truth of what he had done. What was to be gained from telling her? Nothing. And yet when the words burst from him, he knew it was because his presence in her life was a lie, and he could not allow her to live it anymore. It was the only chance she had of divesting herself from the hellish existence that she currently endured. He had to try to undo the damage he had done to her.

She stared at him in confusion. “Not… real? What is not… real?”

“This thing you…” He took a breath and then turned to Senna. “Please… I need to talk to Mariel alone. Please.”

Senna didn’t understand, but she did not need to. “As you wish,” she said, and she took Vir’s hands in hers briefly and squeezed them. Then she walked quickly from the main room, the door shutting behind her.

Vir went back to Mariel, took her hands in his, and said, “You’re under a spell.”

“A spell.” She repeated the words, but with no real comprehension.

“A technomage named Galen put it on you, at my request. I was… I was angry because 1 knew you had used me, to get in good with the other diplomats on Babylon 5. I knew you laughed at me behind my back. And I…” He looked down. “… I told myself that I had him do it to help the cause. So that I could bend you to my will, turn you back on the people who’d sent you to spy on me. But that was an excuse. I did it from petty revenge, and it was beneath me, and I’ve ruined your life, and I’m sorry. Great Maker, the words don’t mean anything, but I am. I’m sorry.”

“Vir…”

“Londo. Londo can help. He can grant you a divorce from Durla, and you can start over in a new life. We’ll get you set up somewhere, I can—”

“Vir, it’s all right.”

He stopped talking and stared at her. “All right? How is it all-right?”

“I saw. I saw the way Senna looked at you, and you at her. How she held your hand a moment before leaving. You think,” and she laughed, “you think that I would not want to share you. That my love for you is so overpowering that I would be jealous of other women in your life.” She stroked his cheek. “If you want both Senna and me, that is perfectly all right. Whatever makes you happy…”

“Mariel, I don’t love you! Don’t you see? I can’t ever! Be cause any feelings you’d return for me were made for you by Galen!”

Her face flushed. “I don’t know why you’re saying these things. 1 know my mind! I know how I feel! No wizard put these thoughts into my head! You’re just… testing me, that’s it. Testing me… wanting me to prove my love to you, to—”

“No! I don’t! It’s—”

Suddenly the door at the far end of the room slid open. The guards were standing there, with Senna in between them.

“The emperor will see you now,” Senna said gravely.

“He is not supposed to be in here!” one of the guards said.

“I heard her cry out,” Vir said immediately. “I was outside and when I heard her cry of alarm, I thought that perhaps one of those saboteurs or someone like that was attacking Durla’s wife. So I thought I would check, because there were, after all, no guards outside,” he added pointedly. He bowed to Mariel, and asked solicitously, “Will you be all right, milady?”

Mariel, looking at him with limpid eyes, whispered, “I will prove my love.” Vir felt ill.

Vir looked ill.

At the very least, there were times when he had certainly looked better.

It is amusing the way things work out sometimes. There I was, speaking with Dunseny, saying to him, “You know what I desire more than anything? I would like to share a pleasant dinner with my old friend, Vir. Do you think that could be arranged?”

At that moment, in walked Senna with two guards. They stood stiffly at attention, as if they were awaiting orders. I had no idea what they wanted me to say. I looked to Dunseny, but he clearly had no better idea than I did. “Can I help you?” I inquired.

“We were told that you desired our presence, Highness,” one of them said.

I didn’t know what he was talking about. But I saw Senna standing behind them, nodding her head. Obviously this was some sort of childish prank and, to be honest, I thought it might prove amusing. I think I am someone very much in need of more childishness in my life. I found my head nodding in time to Senna’s own. “Yes… yes,” I said. “As a matter of fact, I would like you to bring me Vir Cotto.”

The guards exchanged glances. “The ambassador to Babylon 5?”

“The very same,” I said. “I… believe I know where he can be found, Highness,” Senna said. “He is actually here, in the palace.”

I was astounded. Rarely do things work out for me as conveniently as that. “Escort him here at once!” I commanded the guards. As Senna led the apparently puzzled guards out, I turned to Dunseny, and said, “Have a meal prepared and brought up. Vir and I shall… chat…”

“At once, Highness,” Dunseny said, and he went out to attend to my wishes.

The dinner was brought up mere moments before Vir arrived, escorted by Senna. “You will pardon me if I do not get up, Vir,” I said. “My stamina is not quite what it used to be.”

“Of course, of course,” he said.

The food was laid out between us, and I gestured for everyone to leave us. Of course… I myself am never alone, but that is neither here nor there.

“So… Vir. What has brought you around?” I proceeded to eat heartily, displaying an appetite that was merely for show.

“Do I need an excuse to visit my Homeworld?” he asked. He wasn’t touching any of the food in front of him. Perhaps he thought it was poisoned. If it were poisoned, I probably would have eaten it myself.

“Of course not. Of course not.”

And we proceeded to chat. The conversation was strained at first, but as the time passed, the degree of comfort grew. He seemed guarded, even suspicious, and who could blame him really? After all, once before when we were together, I knocked him out and he wound up in a cell. For all he knew, this would be a repeat performance.

Really, it was not an important conversation, when one gets right down to it. Indeed, my memory is playing tricks on me. Much of what we discussed is gone from my head already. The drink, no doubt. However, there was one aspect that he seemed to find most… interesting.

“There is a Human work of literature that I stumbled over, Vir, that reminded me a bit of you and I.”

“And what would that be, Londo?”

“The work of one Miguel de Cervantes. A book called Don Quixote. I’m in the middle of reading it, but it seems most fascinating. It is about a man with a most odd hobby. Do you appreciate odd hobbies, Vir? You have one or two yourself, I think.”

He sat there for a moment, his face impassive. “We all have our hobbies, Londo, and each of them might seem odd to someone who doesn’t participate in it.”

“Oh, absolutely. But this fellow, this Don Quixote… I thought you might appreciate his particular hobby. I don’t know why I did. But I did.”

“And what would that hobby be, Londo?”

“He fights evil.” I leaned forward. “He fights evil wherever he sees it. He even fights evil when no others see it. Even though he believes the odds to be hopelessly against him, he charges into battle against the forces of darkness. Many people in the book think him insane.”

“Do they.” There was no inflection in his voice.

“Yes. They do. But there is a handful of others… who do not.”

“And who would these be?”

“One of them is his faithful squire—that is to say, assistant—Sancho. Sancho helps the intrepid Quixote on his missions, no matter how far-fetched, because he wants to help Quixote recognize his dreams. To validate them. To fight… against the forces of darkness.”

“Yes… you mentioned those,” Vir said slowly. “I… think I understand.”

“And that reminded me of you… and even us. I think that once upon a time, Vir… I was Quixote. I had dreams of greatness, of what the Centauri Republic should be. And you… you were my Sancho,” and I laughed and shook a fist. “At my side, supporting me in my efforts while at the same time trying to get me to see the reality of what I was doing.”

“And when Sancho tried to explain reality to Quixote… did he understand?”

“Not really,” I admitted. “Interesting the parallels that can be drawn, eh? And now, you know… I think that the roles have turned. I think, in many ways, you are the new Quixote, yes? You see a world that you want to be better than it is, and you fight the good fight to make it that way. And that would make me Sancho… trying to assist you… to tell you what is what. To tell you when dark forces are encroaching, and when time is running out.” ‘ “I think… in that respect… you would be an excellent Sancho.”

“Good, good.” I paused and took a deep breath. “Would you like to know… one of the ways in which the good Quixote fought evil?”

“Very much, yes.”

I quaffed more of my drink, and said, “Windmills.”

He looked at me oddly. “Windmills? What are windmills?”

“They were tall structures… very tall structures, and things were made inside them. Very tall structures… that seemed ordinary… but Quixote saw them as something else. He saw them as giants, and he attacked them. Charged at them with a long stick. It was called ‘tilting.’ He tilted at windmills.”

“So he was insane, is what you are saying.”

“Ahhh, but that is the test, Vir, you see. To look at tall buildings and say they are giants is, of course, insanity. But to look at towering structures and say they might be giants, why… that proves you a man of vision. A man who can see things when others do not, and act accordingly. Thatway… that way you can be prepared to do what must be done.” I emptied my glass, poured myself another. “You might want to read the book, Vir. Reading is one of your hobbies, yes?”

“Yes. One of them.”

“You should read it, then, definitely. Because it might have a very dramatic impact on your other hobbies… very soon.”