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CHAPTER 029

In the corner of the office, the TV showed Sheldon Harmon, professor of anthropology and self-proclaimed discoverer of the “Neanderthal gene,” being assaulted during a lecture with a bucket of water poured over his head.

On-screen, the event was shown repeatedly in slow motion, the water sloshing over a skinny, bald guy who looked oddly amused. “See? He’s smiling,” Rick Diehl said. “This is all a publicity stunt to promote the gene.”

“Probably,” Josh Winkler said. “They had cameras there to catch it.”

“Exactly,” Diehl said. “And aside from the publicity this guy is getting for his damn Neanderthal gene, he is claiming a mode of action closely related to our maturity gene. Activation of the cingulate gyrus and so on. Could steal our thunder.”

“I doubt it,” Josh said. “Dozens of genes work in the cingulate gyrus.”

“Even so,” Rick said, “I think we ought to announce. Soon. I want to get the maturity gene out there.”

Josh said, “With all due respect, Rick, we’d be premature.”

“You’ve tested the gene in rats. That’s gone well.”

“Yes, but it’s not exactly newsworthy. Showing baby rats pushing turds in a cage-that won’t make the evening news.”

Diehl nodded slowly. “Yeah. True. We need something better.”

Josh said, “What’s the urgency?”

“The board. Ever since Brad got arrested, his uncle has been pissed. Seems to think Brad’s problems are our fault. Anyway, he’s pressing us to put the company on the map with a big announcement.”

“Fine, but we’re not there yet.”

“I know. But what if we just…what if we justsay that we’re ready to start human testing?”

Josh shivered. “I wouldn’t,” he said. “I mean, we haven’t even applied to the FDA for-”

“I know. Stage one. So let’s make the application.”

“Rick, you know what a stage-one application requires. It’s a stack of research data and forms ten feet high. That’s just to start the process. And we would have to lay out a timetable of milestones-”

Rick waved his hand impatiently. “I know. I’m saying we just announce it.”

“You mean, announce it when we’re not doing it?”

“No, announce that we’re going to do it.”

“But that’s my point,” Josh said. “It’d be months before we could even file.”

“Reporters don’t care. We just say that BioGen Research in Westview Village is ready to begin stage-one testing, and is in the process of making an application to the FDA.”

“For the maturity gene…”

“Yes. To be inserted with a retrovirus vector.”

“And what will we say the maturity gene does?” Josh said.

“I don’t know. We could say that…it cures drug addiction.”

Josh felt a chill. “Why would we say something like that?”

“Well, it makes sense, don’t you think?” Rick Diehl said. “The maturity gene promotes balanced, mature behavior, which is by definition addiction-free behavior.”

“I guess…”

“You guess?” Diehl turned to face him. “Let’s show a little enthusiasm here, Josh. I’m telling you, this is a great idea. What’s the recidivism rate in addiction-treatment programs today? Eighty percent? Ninety percent? A hundred percent? Most rehab doesn’t work for most people. That’s a fact. How many addicts are there in this country? Christ, we got more than a million in prisons. So how many are on the streets? Twenty million? Thirty million?”

Josh was beginning to sweat. “That would be like, eight or ten percent of the population.”

“Sounds about right. I’d bet ten percent of the American population is addicted to drugs, when you include alcohol. Ten percent, easy. Which makes the maturity gene a hell of a product!”

Josh was silent.

“What do you have to say, Josh?”

“Uh, I guess it’s a good idea…”

“You wouldn’t be fucking with me, would you?”

“No,” Josh said. “Of course not.”

“You wouldn’t be holding out on me. Striking out on your own?”

“No,” he said. “Why would you say that?”

“Your mother called today,” Diehl said.

Oh shit.

“She’s very proud of what you’ve done, and doesn’t understand why I haven’t given you a promotion.”

Josh sank into a chair. He felt drenched in cold sweat. “So, what are you going to do?” he said.

Rick Diehl smiled. “Give you a promotion, of course,” he said. “Did you keep records of the dosages you administered?”