Infernal

5

-44:46

Well, at least the kid's glad I'm here, Tom thought as he started down the hall.

And what a hall. What a house. He hadn't been able to appreciate it that first night—not with all the turmoil. But now… look at the fine wood, the Persian rugs, the antique light fixtures… had to be worth millions. He'd got the impression that Gia was a commercial artist, making ends meet but with little left over. How did she afford this? He'd have to wheedle the story out of her.

Maybe the donuts would help. He'd had an inspiration on the way over: Arrive with goodies in hand. He considered it a truism that the surest way to a mother's heart was through her kid. Get the kid to like you and you enhance your chances twofold, maybe threefold.

So he'd asked his cabby to find a bakery or donut shop along the way. He'd stopped at a place on the East Side called Muller's. The donuts looked so good that Tom had scarfed down a cruller on the way over.

Vicky snatched the bag from his fingers and darted into the sitting room. Further on, in the kitchen at the end of the hall, Jack and Gia stood facing each other. Both looked upset.

Jack pointed to him. "Wait right there."

The words, the tone, the gesture took him aback. Who was Jack to order him about in Gia's house? But one look at Gia's puffy face and he knew something was wrong. Still wrong.

What had happened? He hadn't exactly expected to find a party going on, but this seemed like a wake. Only Vicky was in good spirits.

Jack turned away from him and back to Gia. They seemed to be in a serious, almost heated, discussion.

Tom edged closer.

"I can't believe you did this without telling me," Jack was saying.

"I knew you'd try to stop me."

"Damn right I would have! Now there are two people in jeopardy instead of one!"

Gia sobbed and the sound angered Tom. Jack was being rough on her. What was he so exercised about?

"I know! Don't you think I know that? But what was I to do? If I had a chance to save her, I had to take it."

"You should have come to me first!"

"I couldn't." She shook her head. "I know I should have. Don't ask me why… I just couldn't."

What was this about? What had she done?

Tom had come even with the sitting room. He glanced in and saw the kid sitting on the edge of a chair, kicking her legs, oblivious to everything but the TV and the sugar-coated donut she was munching.

"All right," Jack said. "Let's see it."

"No, I—"

"Please. This isn't just about you and me. There's the baby to think of."

Gia looked like she was again going to refuse to show him whatever they were talking about, but must have changed her mind. Because, without another word, she turned and raised the back of her T-shirt.

Tom gasped and felt his knees dissolve when he saw the black band spread across her back. He had to prop himself against the door molding.

Sweet Jesus, it was almost halfway around her body!

Jack stared at it, then his head dropped. Gia pulled her shirt back down.

The light dawned for Tom.

No! A horrendous situation had become infinitely worse. He could comprehend a mother's love for her child, but weren't there limits? He'd heard of mothers throwing themselves in front of a car to save their child, but that was impulse. This had been premeditated.

Initially her daughter was going to be shunted off into the Great Unknown. Now Gia was going to be sent there instead.

It made no sense. Either way she loses her daughter, but this way she loses Jack too. Not to mention this exquisite townhouse.

"Only one thing to do then," he heard Jack say.

In one swift, smooth move he stepped to the counter, pressed his hand into a saucepan, and returned with his palm coated in some thick brown fluid. He then lifted the back of Gia's shirt and slipped his hand under. Gia reacted as if he'd splashed her with acid—her back arched, her eyes widened, and then she began to cry.

What the hell was going on here?

"Now it's settled," Jack said.

Gia turned and pounded her fists once against his chest.

"No! I can't lose you! Not now!"

Jack grabbed her wrists. "You didn't really think I was going to let this happen to you, did you? You three are more important than anything else I can think of."

"Turn around! I want to see!"

Jack complied, lifting his shirt and revealing the Stain. Gia threw her arms around him and sobbed.

Stunned, awed, Tom watched the two of them. He couldn't imagine doing something like that—not even for his kids, let alone a woman. Especially the women he'd married. He could see no upside. And the downside was unthinkable.

He repressed a shudder. To be whisked away to some unknown place, never to be seen again… the idea of risking that—embracing it—for someone else was beyond him…

What planet were these two from?

Again those feelings of longing and envy he'd experienced in B. B. King's. Their devotion to each other… the way Jack hadn't hesitated, not for a heartbeat, to place himself between Gia and the Lilitongue. He'd given it no more thought than slapping a mosquito he'd spotted on her arm.

Tom shook his head. Inconceivable…

And then he thought of something else: Who would do that for him?

Vicky had Gia, and Gia had Jack. But Tom could think of no one who'd step up like that for him.

The realization staggered him.

No one… I've got no one.

That chill angst washed over him as it had last night. Was there one person in this world who gave a damn if he lived or died?

Surely not his brother. He glanced Jack's way and saw him glaring over Gia's quaking shoulder.

He heard Gia moan, "What did we ever do to deserve this?"

Tom knew the terrible answer: I came into your lives.

All his fault. He'd brought the Lilitongue up from the depths. He'd been the one who wanted to escape…

Tom felt himself wilting under Jack's stare. What did the man want?

He doesn't expect me to step up and take it from him, does he? Is he crazy?

Never happen. Not in a million years.

Even if Jack weren't here, even if Gia had no Jack in her life, Tom knew that he couldn't, simply couldn't, do what Jack had done.

He was made of different stuff. Wired differently.

He fought the burning shame. No one had the right… it wasn't fair to expect that.

He shook his head and turned away. No… too frightening… he can't… he won't…

He opened the door and let himself out. He stood on the front step and blinked in the wind. He pulled his jacket tightly around him. Cold out here, but warmer than inside.

Safer too. At least here Gia couldn't turn to him with a pleading look, asking him to save the father of her baby, to do the right thing.

And when he shook his head and backed away, as he most certainly would, her expression would change, and she'd look on him as a coward.

I'm not a coward. I've done things, lots of things that require balls the size of cantaloupes.

I just can't… do… this.

He felt a sadness descend on him. And something more… an odd feeling… an emotion he hadn't experienced in years.

Guilt.

But that wasn't enough, not nearly enough to make him turn and go back in there.