Grim Tuesday

Chapter Eighteen

"Telegram's not good enough," said the sun bear with-out opening its eyes. "When I say proper notification, I mean proper. Stamped and sealed."

"You're a proper pain, aren't you?" commented Suzy. But the Will didn't respond.

"I'll send the telegram anyway," said Arthur, with as much conviction as he could muster. His brilliant idea didn't seem so brilliant now. "Maybe Dame Primus can help us escape from the Tower and the pyramid. Or send the proper notification some other way? or something. I guess we'll just have to try to get out ourselves in the meantime. And make sure Grim Tuesday doesn't find us."

"Good idea," said Suzy. "Only we can't carry the bear. Not without the Captain."

"I thought I was the one who needed optimism," Arthur reminded her. He prodded the sun bear's rear with the toe of his Immaterial Boot. "It can walk. How about that, Will? You should come with us just in case I do turn out to be the Rightful Heir, which everybody tells me I am."

"I'm not going anywhere till I have adequately assessed the situation," said the sun bear, still without opening its eyes. "It would not be prudent to move until I have considered all possibilities, or must comply with appropriate authority."

"You're not staying on board the Helios," announced Tom. He turned from the wheel and stooped down to look at the sun bear. "Part Two of the Will, do you know who I am?"

"No," said the sun bear, squeezing its eyes even more shut. "Nor do I care to play twenty questions to discover your dubious identity."

Tom held out his hand. There was a rush of cold air, and his strangely dark and bright harpoon appeared in his hand. He tilted it down, till the point touched the deck a few inches from the sun bear's nose.

Arthur and Suzy retreated to the companionway and took a few steps down, almost falling over each other in their haste.

The sun bear reluctantly opened one eye. "Do you know me now?" growled Tom.

The sun bear opened its other eye, lifted its snout with obvious effort, and sniffed the air several times.

"The Old One's second son," it squeaked.

"The Architect's adopted son."

"Yes, yes," admitted the sun bear. "That is true enough."

"And I say Arthur is the Master of the Lower House and so must have been chosen as the Rightful Heir."

The sun bear rolled its eyes and gave an annoyed snort.

"Character witnesses are all very well, but I stand by my position. I will not act on behalf of anyone until I am in receipt of the correct notification from Dame Primus."

Tom scraped the point of the harpoon across the deck towards the sun bear's snout. It made a nerve-jangling, harmonic sound that filled the bridge and made Arthur and Suzy take several steps down the ladder.

But the sun bear did not retreat. It merely pulled back its head.

"Nor am I moved by threats!" it added.

"This is not a threat, you furry backslider," Tom roared. "But if you won't at least go along with Arthur, then I'll see if Mother's gift can spill some of Mother's words out of your gizzard."

The sun bear looked distastefully at Arthur and wrinkled its nose.

"I suppose that I have to go somewhere, since my pleasant retreat has been destroyed. Perhaps, ipso facto, pursuant to the circumstances, I may accompany this potential heir-designate until further information is forthcoming one way or another."

"Pleasant retreat!" said Arthur. "That was a prison - you? you were supposed to break out of it and do your duty. Let the Will be done, my foot!"

"I trusted that I would be released at the correct and proper moment to fulfill my obligations," said the Will stiffly. "Certainly not rousted out by such an unorthodox? ahem? party, with such peculiar -"

"That's enough!" ordered Tom. His harpoon vanished, he spun the wheel and pushed back several levers. The red dye in the central gauge ebbed away. "We're almost at the mooring point. You will need to gather around me for the transfer back to the House."

The Will frowned, but stood up with visible effort and waddled the few steps to Tom's feet.

"Fat little rat," whispered Suzy. "Nothing like Part One."

"I guess they could all be different," whispered Arthur back. "Not that I want to find out."

"Stand close," said Tom. He reached into his pocket and drew out a silver carving fork. He frowned, returned it, and pulled out a very large silver soup spoon, rubbing it carefully against his sleeve. Then he held it up so it caught the blue light from the portholes.

"Focus on your own reflection in the spoon," he instructed. "Don't look at anything else. Don't get distracted. Don't look away. Everybody looking?" Arthur and Suzy nodded.

The Will sighed and reared up on its hind legs, its stubby tail helping it to balance.

"Hold it a little lower, if you please? Yes, I am looking."

Arthur stared fixedly at the curved back of the spoon. His reflection was curved and fuzzy, mixed in with Suzy's and the reflection of the bear. Arthur tried to concentrate on maintaining his stare, but his mind was wandering ahead, trying to think about other options. But he couldn't think of anything other than sending the telegram to Dame Primus and trying to stay one step? or preferably many more steps? ahead of Grim Tuesday.

Tom began to bellow his spell (or poem or chant or whatever it was). Having an extremely loud, incomprehensible shout going on and on above his head was very distracting but Arthur forced himself to keep staring at the shiny spoon and his own curved face.

It got easier to look after the first minute. The other reflections drifted away, and Arthur lost all sense that there was anything or anyone else around him. There was only his shimmering reflection. He was alone in the universe, looking at himself, and that was all there was -

Tom finished the spell and wrapped his weather-beaten hand around the spoon.

Arthur blinked.

They were back in Tom's room in the Treasure Tower. Arthur could hear distant bellowing and shouting. No words were distinguishable, it was all angry roaring, until a few distinct words came through, one voice cutting through the other. Arthur recognized the quieter voice as Soot's.

The louder one's shout was, "Captain! To me!"

Tom cursed.

"I must obey!" he explained. "Good fortune, Arthur. Here!"

He tore the gold coin from his right ear and flipped it to Arthur as he strode to the door, his "friend" materializing in his hand on his second step.

Arthur caught the coin, sticky with Tom's blood, and looked over to the table.

"Thanks! But how do I send a -"

He was too late. Tom had gone, the door swinging shut behind him.

Suzy hurried over to the desk, while the Will climbed awkwardly into Tom's chair and recommenced looking haughty and disapproving.

"There'll be a telegraph blank here somewhere," Suzy explained, quickly sorting through the papers. "You just write in the squares. Here!"

She took a quill and an ink bottle from deep inside her shirt, unscrewed the bottle, licked the point of the quill, and handed it to Arthur.

"You write it," he said. He tried to hand the quill back. He'd never used anything but a ballpoint or felt tip.

Suzy shook her head. "I'm still taking penmanship. Dame Primus says my letters are a disgrace. Particularly the esses. And the haitches."

Arthur looked at the telegram blank. It was a simple printed form, headed THE ELEVATED AND WORSHIPFUL TELEGRAPHIC, TELEPHONIC, AND MESSAGE SERVICE OF THE HOUSE. Under that, there was to and a line of seven word boxes, message and five lines of seven boxes, and from with its line of seven boxes, plus a red-inked circle in the corner about the size of the blood-dappled gold coin Arthur held. There was also a very small box with the words reply paid under the circle.

Dipping the quill in the turquoise-blue ink, Arthur somewhat blobbily wrote Dame Primus. He had to re-ink for the -mus, ignoring Suzy's unspoken but evident scorn at his clumsiness with the quill.

He thought for a few seconds, then with several refills, numerous splotches, and some scratching, wrote:

IN TREASURE TOWER GOT WILL IT WON'T RECOGNIZE ME SAYS NEEDS OFFICIAL FORM SEND FORM OR HELP HELP!

He hesitated at the from boxes, then simply put Arthur and ticked the box next to reply paid.

As soon as he'd ticked the box, the red-lined circle began to glow with a silver light, and the handwritten annotation 12R appeared.

"Lob the coin down," Suzy instructed.

Arthur placed the gold coin on the circle. The whole form immediately vanished. In its place were four silver coins of varying sizes and designs.

"Lucky you got the change," said Suzy, sweeping the coins off the table and into her pocket. "They embezzle it half the time."

"We'd better find that weirdway next door," said Arthur, suddenly conscious that he couldn't hear any shouting outside.

"Which side?" asked Suzy.

"Forgot to ask," Arthur shouted as he made his way to the door. "Come on! You too, Will."

"If you must call me anything, you may address me as Most Excellent Testamentary Clause," said the sun bear.

"Claws?" said Suzy, as she tilted the chair to speed the bear on its way. "Orright, Claws, hop to it."

"No, no, no," protested the sun bear. "Most Excellent?"

"Claws it is," said Suzy loudly. "After you, Claws."

"I said? oh? just don't speak to me," huffed the Will as it waddled after Arthur.

Out on the walkway, Arthur was already trying the door on the left. It opened easily enough, but the cell beyond was completely empty and quite dark, illuminated only by the spill of light from the walkway lanterns. Arthur dashed in, quickly scanned the room, and dashed out again.

"The other one!" he said. He tried to keep his voice down, but it still echoed.

The echo was answered by a shout from below. A harsh, powerful voice that was not Tom's. It echoed up from a point not as far below as Arthur would have hoped. Perhaps only three or four levels down.

"Captain! Did you hear that?"

"What?" came the reply from Tom, while Arthur and Suzy crept along to the next door, gently slid back the bolt, and pushed open the door. There was a light inside this cell, and Arthur immediately felt more hopeful. They would find the weirdway quickly and get away, at least for the time being.

"That was no Nithling! It must not have eaten the other intruders!" the voice continued.

"Let us deal with the Nithling, Lord Tuesday," said Tom. "It is strong, and grows stronger. We must find it first."

"Come here, Nithling!" roared the voice, which Arthur now knew must belong to Grim Tuesday. "I do not have time to waste searching for miscreants!"

He growled out something else, then more clearly shouted, "By the power of the Second Key, all intruders stand before me!"

Arthur felt unseen hands tug at him, dragging him back towards the nearest steps down. Suzy also took several steps back, a look of surprise on her face. Only the Will appeared unaffected. It stood to Arthur's left, watching him struggle as his Immaterial Boots slid backwards across the woven iron floor.

Arthur grimaced and threw himself forward. But he just fell face-first onto the cold iron and began to slide back, as if dragged by invisible captors. He tried hooking his fingers through the mesh of the walkway floor, but had to let go before they were broken or torn off.

Flailing wildly for some other handhold, Arthur touched the Will's tail. As soon as he did, the dragging force disappeared. Arthur immediately gripped the tail hard.

"How dare you!" squealed the Will, its high-pitched voice echoing out into the central void.

Arthur didn't reply. He reached out and grabbed Suzy's hand as she was dragged past. She stopped too and started to crawl back.

"Unhand my tail!" squealed the Will. It turned on Arthur and tried to scratch him, but he kept his grip and jumped behind it.

"I'm not letting go until we go through the weirdway in that cell," gasped Arthur as he jumped again, Suzy jumping with him. She managed to get a grip directly on the Will's tail as well.

"This is outrageous behavior. I protest!"

"Who is that?" bellowed Grim Tuesday. His shout was followed by heavy footsteps ringing on the iron steps.

"Hurry up!" snapped Arthur to the Will. "You don't want to meet Grim Tuesday either, do you?"

The bear turned again and sped into the cell far faster than Arthur had seen it move before. The two children barely hung on, both running hunched over and scraping the door frame.

Arthur kicked the door shut with his foot, jarring his bad leg. He could hear Grim Tuesday's shouts reverberating outside as he hastily looked around the room. It was mostly empty, but there was an armchair sitting opposite two exquisite clocks on the wall: an ornate cuckoo clock made of finely sculpted gold, and a very simple, small ivory dial set in a walnut frame.

"Let go, let go, let go!" whined the Will. "I insist that you let go."

Arthur looked at Suzy, then tentatively loosened his grip. When they weren't struck by invisible forces, they both let go completely and stepped well back to get clear of the Will's claws and to look at the two clocks.

"If you've rumpled my fur, I shall send you the cleaning bill," said the Will as it curled around to inspect its tail.

Arthur ignored it. Instead he stretched up and touched the door of the cuckoo clock. It was solid gold, with an emerald-set door handle. Arthur opened it and was not surprised to find the door expanding as he pulled it, stretching down and across till there was no sign of the clock. Instead there was a normal-sized doorway in the wall, leading to a dark corridor whose walls, floor, and ceiling rippled as if they were made of stretched cloth rather than the solid stone they otherwise appeared to be.

"Come on!" Arthur held the door open for Suzy. Strangely, it still felt as if he was reaching up to hold a tiny clock door. "Claws, come on!"

"How many times must I repeat myself, you may address me as -" the Will started to say. It made no move towards the weirdway.

Before he could finish, Arthur suddenly slapped his hand to his mouth and groaned, as the now-familiar ache struck. Tom had used his harpoon, a fact confirmed by a shriek of agony from Soot and another inarticulate bellow from Grim Tuesday. It sounded like they were all very close.

"Go through!" screamed Arthur in frustration as the Will turned around to inspect its tail again.

Then Grim Tuesday shouted again, from right outside the door.

"Finish the Nithling, Captain! I'll fix the other thieves!"