Grim Tuesday

Chapter Eight

Arthur peered over the upturned bench at the approaching vehicle. Shrouded by the rain and disguised by a nimbus of diffused light, it was extremely hard to make out what it was. Only one thing was for sure - it wasn't a train. In fact, as it closed in, Arthur saw that it was a single wheel about six feet high and two feet wide, running on only the inner rail of the track. Or more exactly, it was two wheels, one inside the other. The inner wheel didn't move. The lights were fixed to the sides of this inner wheel, and there was someone? or something? sitting inside it. The outer wheel rotated around the inner wheel.

Arthur couldn't see any sign of a steam engine or anything else to make the wheel go. Perhaps it simply ran downhill and could never return to the top. It also seemed an unlikely conveyance for Grim Tuesday, which was a relief. It would be hard for anyone much taller or fatter than Arthur to fit inside the wheel.

Mind you, Arthur thought, Grim Tuesday might not be like the picture on the station door. . . . He might really be small and slight? or not even have a human shape.

"What is that?" whispered Japeth.

"I don't know," Arthur whispered back. He stared at the approaching wheel. Was it his imagination, or was it slowing down?

"It's stopping! Halting! Arresting! Ceasing to proceed forward!"

"Ssshhh! Don't panic," hissed Arthur. He bent down and picked up a long tube of Nothing-pocked copper, perhaps a former steam-pipe or fire-tube. It was slippery and wet, but felt comfortingly heavy in his hand.

"What if whoever's in it has a steam-gun?" Japeth asked.

"Ssshhh," Arthur hissed again. "Maybe it will go past."

But the wheel stopped about ten yards away. The rail stopped humming, allowing Arthur to hear clearly the strange, low sound that still came from the wheel. It took Arthur a moment to recognize it as the constant tick of clockwork. That immediately brought unpleasant memories of the clockwork creatures from the Coal Cellar?

The figure inside the wheel stretched one leg out, then another. The movements seemed normal, not clock-work, but Arthur clutched his metal pipe more tightly. Once again, defeatist thoughts rose up in his mind. Perhaps he should step out and surrender, ask to be taken to Grim Tuesday?

No! Arthur fought back. I'm not giving in. I'm not surrendering, and I'm not going to sit and wait to be steamed or cut to bits.

The wheel-rider slipped completely out and stood up behind the left lantern of the wheel. The light, spread and blurred by the rain, made it impossible to gauge the size of the person or what he or she was doing. But Arthur couldn't see any steam wafting out or the shine of an unsheathed blade.

The dim figure raised one hand. Arthur tensed, then as a bright light flashed from the end of the wheel-rider's index finger, he leaped up and rushed forward, swinging the metal tube over his head.

"Haaahh!" he cried, attacking.

"Arthur!" a voice called out.

Arthur slid to a stop and almost fell over. He lowered his copper pipe and squinted at the light, brushing away the rain from his face with the back of his left hand.

"Suzy?" he asked.

"Of course it is, stupid! Who were you expecting?"

Arthur smiled and shook his head as Suzy Turquoise Blue stepped in front of the lantern. She looked the same as ever, bright-eyed and seriously disheveled. The ubiquitous apron of the Far Reaches was simply thrown over her multiple shirts, and one corner of her mulberry-colored waistcoat poked out from under the apron. Her battered top hat was missing, and in its place she wore an odd little red pillbox with a shiny black strap under her chin. There was also a large cleft stick thrust in her belt, with a piece of parchment stuck in the cleft.

Arthur shook his head again, but his smile got wider. Suzy was not only a great friend and ally, she had a knack for turning up just when Arthur really needed some help. And as far as he could tell, she was never downhearted. Not even here, in Grim Tuesday's Pit.

I wasn't expecting anyone friendly," Arthur said. "But I'm very glad to see you."

"'Course you are," said Suzy. "So would I be, down this dismal hole. Who's your mate?"

Arthur looked over his shoulder to where Japeth was standing hesitantly behind the upturned bench.

"Japeth. It's all right, Japeth, she's a friend of mine," Arthur called. "Come out." He turned back to Suzy and added, "Japeth was in my work gang. He helped me? stay alive, I guess. But what are you doing here?"

"Looking for you, of course," said Suzy. "Ow!"

A heavy drop of Nothing-tainted rain had fallen on the back of her hand. She wiped it off with a grimace, ignoring the red welt it left behind. Unlike Arthur and Japeth, she wasn't wearing a stabilized mud cape.

"Got to get my umbrella," she muttered, rummaging inside her shirts. She brought out and opened up a small multicolored paper umbrella of the kind used to ornament cocktails. For a moment it just looked ridiculous, then it exploded into a full-sized umbrella, much as the Atlas did.

The Atlas!

Arthur had a momentary panic as he scrabbled under his cape and apron for his shirt pocket. For an instant he thought he'd dropped the Atlas back on the railway! A second later his hand closed on the rough cloth cover and he sighed in relief.

"Heart attack?" asked Suzy curiously. "Thought you were too young."

"No, just checking the Atlas," said Arthur. He looked at Suzy again and for a moment felt like giving her a hug, he was so relieved to see her. But the moment passed. He offered his hand instead. Suzy took it.

"Delighted, I'm sure," said Suzy formally. "See, I've been learning me manners." As they shook, the nail on her index finger suddenly shone with a very bright, clear light, almost blinding Arthur. Suzy let go immediately and tugged on the finger till the joints cracked and the light went out.

"Supposed to stop once I found you," she grumbled. "Dame Primus? that's her as used to be Part One of the Will? fixed it so it would get brighter when you were close."

"But how did you know I was here?" asked Arthur.

"That'd be telling," said Suzy, holding her index finger up to her nose. It lit up once again and she flinched. "Stupid finger spells! That Will was a frog for too long if you ask me."

"But how did you know?" Arthur repeated.

"Well, after the telephone was cut off I thought I'd nip over to your world, only Dame Primus wouldn't let me go, cos of the Original Law. I said, 'It's a pretty dumb Law when you can't do anything but everyone else can' and Dame Primus said, 'You'll go to your room, young lady, for the next decade if you're not careful, trouble or no trouble,' and I said, 'Arthur's the Master, he made me Monday's Tierce, you're only the Steward,' and then she sent me to my room. Only I climbed out through the chimney and Sneezer let me use Seven Dials to have a look at what was going on, and I saw the Grotesques had gone through, and then the Scoucher, and I wanted to warn you but your head is too thick or something and won't receive waking dreams, so Sneezer helped me ask the Atlas and it steered you to that girl Leaf who I met when we were on the Improbable Stair, and then I sent a dream to her telling her where the Grotesques had opened their side of the Door in your world, and I? Where was I?"

She took a deep breath and rushed on.

"Oh? we figured Leaf could tell you and then you could use that door to get back into the House. But then I thought maybe I'd better go and help you out anyway, so I went to see the Lieutenant Keeper and asked him to let me through, but he wouldn't, so then I sneaked back into the Dayroom and looked through Seven Dials again and saw you were going through the Door, so I went down to the Atrium to meet you. But when you didn't show up, I knocked on the Door and talked to the Lieutenant Keeper.

"I sez to him, 'Did Arthur come through the Door?' and he sez, 'Yes,' and then I waited and he didn't say anything so I sez, 'Where did he go?' and he sez, 'The Far Reaches,' and I sez, 'How long ago?' and he sez, 'Two hours by House Time,' and then I sez, 'Let me go through too,' and he sez, 'No,' and I sez, 'Why?' and he sez, 'Even if I could permit it, you can only use that door from the Secondary Realms. Here, you have to go through the House.'

"So I went back to Dame Primus and after a bit of shouting and carrying on she sez, 'Grim Tuesday deserves to have you on his doorstep,' and she fixed me up with all the trimmings to help you out, like this fingernail thing."

"Right," said Arthur weakly. After having hardly spoken for a day it was almost too much to listen to Suzy, who was clearly in a talkative mood. "So how did you get into the Far Reaches and get that? that wheel and everything?"

"The Grim uses the Piper's children for messengers," said Suzy, brandishing the cleft stick with the parchment in the end. "Monday's Noon, that used to be Dusk, did a transfer for me to the Middle House, and then a friend of his there sold my contract to Grim Tuesday so I could join his messengers. Then I swapped with Ned to come down the line because my finger glowed when I went near the railway."

Arthur shook his head, his new earring jangling annoyingly against his neck. He was still tired and sore and it was all a bit too much to take in. Then he realized the significance of what Suzy was saying.

"You're indentured!" he said. "That means you're trapped here!"

"Only temporarily," replied Suzy with a shrug. "Once you find Part Two of the Will and take over from Grim Tuesday, then you can release me from my indenture."

"And me," said Japeth. "Sir. Excellency. Eminence. Highness. Majesty. Whoever you actually are."

"He's Monday," said Suzy. "The Master of the Lower House." Japeth choked on whatever he was going to say and immediately leaned into a very deep bow that put his head almost at Arthur's feet.

"I'm not Monday!" said Arthur. Distress was clear on his face. He wasn't Monday. He wasn't one of the Days. He was just a boy caught up in great events and as soon as possible he would go back to his normal, uneventful life. "I'm Arthur Penhaligon. I've handed over the Mastery of the Lower House to the? to Dame Primus or whatever she calls herself. Please, get up!"

Japeth raised himself a little, but remained hunched over. He retreated several steps, tripped over a broken piece of rail, and fell flat on his back. Arthur hurried over to help him up, making the Denizen even more flustered.

As Japeth straightened himself out, Arthur turned back to Suzy.

"How am I supposed to find Part Two of the Will and take over from Grim Tuesday anyway? I can't even free myself from this Pit! Ow! OW!"

A drop of Nothing-laced rain had fallen on his lip. Arthur frantically wiped it off and hopped around clutching his face till the pain subsided. He didn't know whether it was the Lieutenant Keeper's spell or some residual enchantment from the First Key, but the burns from the Nothing rain healed in a matter of minutes. But he still felt the pain?

"That's why I'm here," said Suzy. "To help you. You might want to look the other way - this is a bit disgusting."

"What is?" asked Arthur, as Suzy reached into her mouth with two fingers. "This!" said Suzy, ripping out a tooth from the back of her mouth, complete with bleeding roots.

Arthur grimaced and stepped back as Suzy spat blood onto the train tracks.

"Had to smuggle it in as an extra wisdom tooth right at the back," she explained, setting the tooth down on the ground, being careful to shield it with her umbrella. "Got everything we need in it."

Arthur looked down at the tooth.

How could this ugly-looking molar have anything in it? he thought, but he was wise enough in the ways of the House to keep silent for a moment.

As Arthur watched, the color from the bloody roots slowly spread upwards, changing the tooth from white to a deep, even red. Then the tooth began to shimmer and change, its outline becoming blurry and indistinct. An instant later, Arthur was looking down at a fat little wooden doll about an inch high and two inches around, with a smiling face, red cheeks, and a bright red-painted coat with a black line around the stomach to mark where it could be opened. It looked like the smallest doll from a set of Russian dolls, the kind that nested one within another.

"Uh, you sure this is right?" asked Arthur.

"Open it up," said Suzy with a sniff. "See for yourself."

Arthur bent down and unscrewed the doll. When he lifted off the top half his thumb and forefinger were savagely forced apart, nearly spraining them, as a larger doll exploded out.

The second doll was five times the size of the tiny doll he'd just opened. Arthur sighed as Suzy raised an eyebrow.

"Come on," she said. "There's three more dolls inside that one, then the one with the stuff. Don't stick your head too close, mind."

"I'll do it, sir," offered Japeth.

"No, I'll do it," said Arthur. "And don't call me sir!"

"Very good, your sublime serenity."

"Don't call me that either," said Arthur as he gingerly unscrewed the head of the second doll, leaning well back to allow the larger one inside to bound out without doing him permanent damage.

The other dolls quickly followed, and in a few minutes Arthur was unscrewing the head of the fifth and last doll, which was almost as tall as he was, and three times as fat. This time, nothing exploded out.

Arthur warily looked inside the open doll, ready to jump back if there was some delayed reaction or ghastly contents inside. But the doll was empty, save for a canvas satchel at the bottom about the same size as Arthur's school backpack.

"Had to put it inside lots of dolls so the Grim's Sniffers didn't pick it up," explained Suzy. She stuck her umbrella upright in the spoke-hole of a leading wheel, rolled the doll onto its side, and bent in to retrieve the satchel.

Her muffled voice continued from inside. "You probably missed 'em coming in the back way. Horrid things, those Sniffers. Just the snout of a dog, without the rest of the animal. A nose crawling about on hairy-bristle legs that I reckon the Grim took off a cricket and sized up. Fair made me want to puke."

"One crawled over me when I arrived," said Japeth with a shudder. "A disembodied snout with two tiny eyes and a shrunken mouth, sniffing at my skin? I didn't know what it was, or what it was doing."

"They sniff out magic or forbidden powers," said Suzy. "Like wot's in 'ere."

She laid the satchel down under the umbrella and opened it up. It unfolded like a picnic set, revealing two pieces of beautifully crisp, heavy white paper; a stick of crimson sealing wax; four small coiled balls of twine; a box of matches (with a picture of a duck smoking a pipe on it and the words danger matches - five times as fiery, super easy to light); and two glass jars that were stuffed full of what appeared to be green woolen frog finger-puppets.

"Two sets of Ascension Wings and two sets of stickit fingers," said Suzy. "The wings take us up out of the Pit, all the way to the ceiling of the Far Reaches. Using the stickit fingers, we then clamber across the ceiling to the spire of Grim Tuesday's Treasure Tower. We drop onto the spire, raise the cockerel wind gauge, and climb in as quick as you like, find Part Two of the Will, and set this place to rights? At least, that's what Dame Primus reckons, so it'll go horribly wrong for sure."

"What are Ascension Wings?" asked Arthur. "And why do we have to climb across the ceiling? What's this Treasure-?"

"What's that noise?" asked Japeth. "Begging your pardon."

Arthur heard it too, and looked up into the darkness, pulling his hood forward to shield his eyes. He could hear a really loud hissing that seemed to come from up above. It took him a second to work out that it sounded like a firework fuse being lit, magnified a thousand times, but also very far away.

"Uh-oh," said Suzy. She plucked the folded paper from the end of her cleft stick and handed it to Arthur. "That'll be this. I'm supposed to have warned all the gangs between Up Station and Way Stations One and Two___"

Arthur unfolded the note and quickly read:

DANGER. All Overseers, all gangs, all Way Stations, all workers, and all staff. A sunburst is scheduled for Migh Noon House Time today, affecting top layers from Up Station to Way Station Two. All workers are hereby ordered to stop work or motion at the sound of the thirty-second fuzee, which will be clearly audible. All workers must shield their eyes and must not look up till the all-clear whistle is heard. Should the sunburst reveal Nithlings, then the alarm must be sounded as per Standing Orders 27, par. 4 or by screaming as loudly as possible in unison for three seconds every nine seconds. By Order, Tuesday's Yan.

What's a thirty-second fuzee, thought Arthur. Must mean fuse ? thirty seconds -

"Look down!" shouted Arthur as he grabbed his companions and pushed them headfirst down towards the cold, wet stone.