Full Circle

6. Hunter

I spent most of Tuesday at Practical Magick, helping Alyce sort the books properly. The bookcases in the new room of the store were almost finished. Alyce and I had gone through most of the stock, keeping long, detailed lists of each category. Within each category there were many subcategories, and of course most books had to be cross-referenced. It was engrossing and renewed my interest in reading or rereading some important Wiccan texts, but as with the herb imbuing it wasn't exactly fulfilling.

I was up on a ladder, calling down titles to Alyce when I sensed someone coming. The bell over the door jangled in the next moment-Morgan. I glanced at my watch. It was four o'clock already.

"Teatime," I said, starting to climb down the ladder. My hands were filthy with dust, and I wiped them on my jeans. "Hello, my love," I said, meeting Morgan halfway. I held her shoulders lightly and kissed her. "Couldn't stay away from me, I see. I missed you, too."

Her mouth quirked in a nervous smile, then she looked past me to Alyce. "Actually," she said softly, "I need to talk to both of you. Can you spare a couple of minutes?"

"Certainly, dear," said Alyce. She walked to the back of the store and called out to her other employee. "Finn, could you mind the shop for me for a bit?" He nodded and walked to the cash register.

Alyce gestured to the tattered orange curtain that led to the employees' lounge/storage room/lunchroom. Already I was picking up on Morgan's tension, overlain with fatigue, and I wondered what was going on-she hadn't mentioned anything. I rubbed her back as we walked in and sat down. She gave me a strained smile and put her hand on my knee. I tried to read her eyes, but they seemed shuttered, and I went on alert. If something was bothering Morgan, how had I not sensed it before? Or was she hiding something from me?

Within minutes Alyce put three mugs of tea on the table, projecting, as usual, and air of calm, maternal empathy. "What's going on, Morgan? You look very upset."

Morgan nodded and swallowed. I let my arm rest across the back of her chair so she would feel my support. "I've been having…dreams," she said. "Nightmares, actually. Scary ones."

I began rubbing her back again with one hand. "These must be somewhat out of the ordinary for you to want to talk to us both about them," I said.

Morgan gave a short, dry laugh. "They're out of the ordinary," she agreed. "They've been going on for three nights now." I put my head to one side, curious, and she turned to me to explain. "I just thought they were ordinary dreams. Everyone has nightmares sometimes. And nothing that explicitly bad ever happens in them-I'm not seeing murders or anything. They're just really strong, disturbing images. I thought maybe it was stress-finals coming up, that kind of thing. But last night…"

She paused to sip her tea, and beneath my hand I felt a fine tremble shake her. " What happened last night?" I asked.

"I had another dream," she said. "I can't even remember most of it. I feel like I keep seeing hawks, dark hawks, in the dreams, but I'm not sure."

I remembered Morgan's response to the hawk we had seen the day of the picnic, and I felt irritated with myself that I hadn't picked up on it. I must be getting thick.

"Last night's dream felt like the worst, but I can't say why," Morgan went on. "All I remember is-I think was in a car, my car. I wasn't driving, and I had to get out. But it wouldn't stop. I think I jumped out. And when I did, I realized I had bird's wings, but they were made of fire."

Instantly Alyce's eyes met mine. That had to be a symbol for something.

Morgan shook her head, frustrated by not being able to recall more details. "I fell in a ditch, I think. Then I was running on a road, looking for something or someone, and my wings were gone." She shivered again, though it was warm in the room, and hunched her shoulders as if to protect herself. "But that's not the worst part," she said in a small voice. "The worst part is that when I woke up, my legs and feet were wet. And there were little bits of dried grass stuck to me."

"Oh, Morgan." My muscles tensed. Goddess. This was incredibly serious.

"And I had these," Morgan said, pulling up the sleeve of her shirt. Her arm was crisscrossed with many fine scratches. "My legs are scratched, too," She sounded afraid but was trying not to show it. "So I was sleepwalking. I went downstairs and saw wet footprints all the way to the front door. And Dagda-" Her voice broke off, and she gripped her mug in both hands. "I saw Dagda and went to him, and he hunched up like a Halloween kitty and hissed at me. Like I scared him." Her voice wavered. She was obviously fighting back tears. I scooted my chair closer to her and tried to wrap my arms around her protectively.

Alyce's kind, round face showed some of the concern I was feeling, though she still looked calm.

"Have you ever sleepwalked before?" I asked.

Morgan shook her head. "Never."

"The other two nights you had these dreams… do you think you were sleepwalking then?"

Morgan frowned, trying to remember. She shook her head, and her hair brushed back and forth against my arm. "Not that I know of."

Alyce sat back, looking at Morgan thoughtfully. "Goodness," she said. "You must feel very frightened, dear."

Morgan nodded, not looking at her. Alyce reached out and covered Morgan's hand with her own. "I don't blame you. I would be upset, too. What else do you remember about the dreams? Any kind of detail, anything at all. What about the first dream?"

Morgan sighed. "I remember waking up and knowing I'd had a bad dream and that I was kind of upset, but I just put it out of my mind. All I could remember about it was my feet hurting."

I smiled at her in encouragement.

"The next dream I remember better," Morgan said, "because I was determined not to repeat it again last night. I remember running through huge walls, like in a mansion. I kept getting lost. I looked through the window trying to get my bearings, and outside there were more walls, floating there. They were covered with writing, but I don't remember any of it. I remember running past the windows, and when I passed them, their curtains caught on fire. And there was a hawk, I think." Her forehead wrinkled as she tried to remember anything else. Then she shook her head. "That's all I remember."

"Was there a fire in the first dream?" I asked, looking for common threads.

"I don't remember. I don't think so. But maybe? Maybe I smelled smoke?" Morgan looked frustrated and confused.

"Okay," said Alyce, patting her hand reassuringly. "Let's look at what we have. You said that hawks were a part of your dreams. Do you remember what they were doing, how they looked?"

Morgan slowly shook her head. "I don't remember. I just feel like they've been in all of my dreams."

"All right," said Alyce. "Usually dreaming about birds symbolizes freedom or happiness."

"Yes, but she's dreaming about raptors, birds of prey," I pointed out. "That could indicate greed or a power struggle. Having a dark- feathered hawk to me seems more ominous: sensing danger or threat." I didn't know all that much about dream interpretation. I had learned enough to pass my initiation, but I remembered a few of the common symbols.

"What about me having wings with flames on them?" Morgan asked.

Alyce shot me a hesitant glance.

"Well, fire usually symbolizes purification, cleansing," I said. "Or sometimes metamorphosis, something changing from one form to another," Alyce added. "But you also have personal connections to it."

Morgan nodded solemnly. She had shown a special affinity for fire ever since she'd first learned she was a blood witch. She was one of the few blood witches I'd ever known who could successfully scry with fire. There was also family history with fire. Apparently her birth mother, Maeve Riordan, had also shown an affinity for it. Until she'd been burned to death.

"There's something else," Alyce said, looking thoughtful. "A bird with wings of fire… It's ringing a bell, but I can't quite place my finger on it. I feel like I've heard of that somewhere before." She thought for another few moments, then shook her head briskly. "Well, we'll need to do research on that one and on the curtains catching fire. Now, the car. Cars often represent the path you're taking through life, the path you're taking to achieve goals."

I frowned, trying to recall old lessons. "And being a passenger symbolizes someone having control over you, dictating your path."

"Walls can represent either safety or confinement. The halls you ran down were also a life path. The symbols you couldn't understand represented your literal confusion about something, that there's something going on you don't understand." Alyce leaned forward, thinking.

"I'm hearing a lot about life paths, sensed danger, and also confusion, hidden stuff," I said uncomfortably. "There symbols seem to keep repeating themselves."

"Yes," Alyce agreed. She looked at Morgan. "You need to do some deep thinking, dear. Some meditation might help make some of this clear. To me it feels like there's something hanging over your head, symbolically if not literally. The fact that these dreams are so strong, strong enough to make you actually sleepwalk, means we must take them very seriously. Your psyche is sending you a powerful message. It's important that we figure out what it is."

Morgan looked troubled. "There's something else that I just thought of," she said. "The walls with the writing on them, the symbols and runes-they remind me of Cal's seòmar-his secret room where he worked all that dark magick."

And where he had tried to kill her. My stomach knotted, and fury boiled up in me like lava. My half brother, Cal, was dead, yet it seemed Morgan would never be free of his influence, his corruption. He'd nearly seduced her, manipulated her, and tried to steal her power. For a minute I was so angry, my teeth clenched so tightly, that I couldn't speak. Then I spit out the obvious. "But Cal is dead."

"I know," Morgan said in frustration. "I don't understand any of it. All I know is that it's making me crazy, and now I'm actually sleepwalking. That's just too much for me to deal with." She put her elbows on the table and dropped her face into her hands.

"We have to sort this out quickly," I said to Alyce, surprising myself with the harshness of my voice. "Morgan's obviously in danger. We have to figure out where the threat is coming from and eliminate it."

"I agree," Alyce said, regarding me calmly. "But the 'threat' could be coming from Morgan herself. Her psyche could simply be using strong means to get a message across. The sooner we figure out that message, the sooner it can stop trying to make an impression on her."

"I don't believe that," I said, looking at Alyce evenly. "I know Morgan. I don't think her psyche would cause her to sleepwalk in the middle of the night to get its points across. I believe these dreams are magickal."

"I hate this," Morgan muttered, shaking her head. I stroked her hair down her back, smoothing the heavy strands.

"I know," Alyce said, patting Morgan's hand again. "I don't blame you. It's hard to sort out. But one thing is clear: These dreams might be serious, and we need to take action."

"On the chance that these dreams could be influenced or caused by an outside source, I'm going to research how one would do that," I said. "Maybe I can suss out some examples of cases where it was found that outside forces were influencing a person's dreams. And perhaps I'll talk to my father about otherworld influences acting in this world."

Like dead people, coming back to terrorize Morgan. Like Cal. Or maybe a living person, someone from Amyranth, someone who was possibly doing Ciaran's bidding. I nodded at Alyce, already considering how to go about it.

"Morgan, I'd like you to do some self-examination," Alyce said. "Meditate, think, work revealing spells-anything you can think of that might help explain what these dreams are about."

"You might want to do this when you feel safe, like when your parents are home or with me," I suggested. "Any other details that come to you, any snatches of memory or insights or fragments, write them down. Keep a record of everything."

"Okay," Morgan said, sounding glum.

"As for myself, I'll do more research into dream symbolism," Alyce said.

"I'm curious about what the fire-winged hawk might mean," I said, and she agreed.

"Also," Alyce said, "I'll make you a tisane today-a simple drink that will help you sleep and prevent you from dreaming further until we can get a handle on what's going on."

"That would be great," Morgan said in relief. "I'm afraid to go back to sleep after all of this."

Alyce clucked sympathetically, then got up and filled the copper teakettle with fresh water. "I'll fix you something that will help, at least for the next night or two. Just be sure to drink it at least ten hours before you have to get up the next day. If you have to get up at seven-thirty for school, drink it no later than nine-thirty the night before. Or else you'll be slow and sleepy at school."

"We don't want that," Morgan said dryly, and I laughed, despite my concern. A morning person, she wasn't.

"All right, then," Alyce said, bustling about, opening cupboards and taking out different herbs and oils. She put valerian, kava kava, and ginseng on the counter. "Morgan, why don't you and Hunter visit while I get this ready? It should take me about half an hour, forty minutes."

"Good idea," I said, standing and tugging on Morgan's hand. She got up.

"Thanks, Alyce," she said.

Alyce smiled at her. "My pleasure. We're both here for you-I'm really glad you came to us. You don't have to fight these battles alone. Not anymore."

Morgan smiled a bit, then we left the back room and headed to the new half of the store. Inside my little work area I closed the door and pulled Morgan onto my lap. She rested her head against my shoulder, and I felt her comfortable weight settle closer. I threw a quick 'delay' spell at the door. It wouldn't actually keep anyone out, but it would slow them down for a few seconds.

"Morgan, I wish you had told me," I murmured against her hair.

"I thought they were just ordinary dreams," she said. "But this morning when I realized I'd been outside-" Her fear was plain in her voice, and I held her closer.

"We'll take care of it," I promised her. "We'll figure it out, and you'll be fine again. At least tonight you know you're going to sleep really well."

"Mmm-hmm," she said.

For long minutes I held her on my lap, stroking her hair and gradually feeling the tension in her slender body uncoil. She relaxed so completely against me that I almost thought she had fallen asleep.

"Hunter?" she said.

"Hmm?"

"I'm tired of being afraid," she said. Her voice was very calm, almost matter-of-fact, but it struck a chord deep within me. Ever since she had realized she was a blood witch, her life had been a cascade of incredible highs and wretched lows. We both felt ready to have some smooth sailing for a while.

"I know, my love," I said, kissing her temple.

"I wish I could get out of here."

I'd never heard her say anything like that before. "You mean, like come to England with me this summer?"

I felt her smile. "I wish. No, I just feel like I need to get out of here for a while. Like I keep getting layers of bad emotions. All through the autumn and winter. Now through the spring. I need to go someplace else and start over. At least for a while."

"Let's think about it," I said. "Let's try to come up with a way to make that happen for you."

"Okay." She stifled a yawn.

It wasn't long before we felt Alyce approaching, and Morgan stood up to lean against my worktable. I heard Alyce reach for the doorknob a couple of time, apparently missing it, and I wondered if she sensed the delay spell. If she did, she didn't make any mention of it.

"Here you go," she said, coming into the room. She held out a small brown bottle with a screw-on lid and put it into a Practical Magick shopping bag. "Drink half of it tonight and save half for tomorrow. Don't mix it with anything else, and don't drink or eat anything else for two hours before or after you drink it."

"Okay," said Morgan, taking the bag. "And this will really keep me from sleepwalking?"

"It will," Alyce promised.

"Thanks," Morgan said. "Thanks so much. You don't know how much I've been dreading going back to sleep."

"Take care, and we'll talk tomorrow." Alyce gave Morgan one last smile and headed back to the shop.

"Do you think you'll be all right tonight?" I asked.

Morgan nodded. Her beautiful eyes were dark with worry and fatigue. "I'll be okay."