Fires of Azeroth

Chapter Seventeen

Cold wind whipped among the rocks where they sheltered, and they wrapped in their cloaks and sat still, warmed by hot drink which the arrhabrought out to them-fed, although they were so bloody and wretched that food was dry in the mouth. Arrhatended their horses, for they were hardly fit to care for themselves; Vanye interfered in that only to assure himself that at least one of them had some skill in the matter, and then he returned to Morgaine.

Sezar joined them finally, supported by two of the young arrhaand wrapped in a heavy cloak; Lellin arose to rebuke him, but said nothing after all, for joy that he was able to have come. The khemeissank down at his feet and Sharrn's and rested against their knees, perhaps as warm as he would have been inside and fretting less for being where they were.

Morgaine sat outermost of their group, and looked on them little; generally she gazed outward with a bleak concentration which made her face stark in the glare from Nehmin's open doors. Her arm was hurting her, perhaps other wounds as well. She carried it tucked against her, her knees drawn up. Vanye had moved into such a position that he blocked most of the wind, the only charity she would accept, possibly because she did not notice it. He hurt; in every muscle he hurt, and not alone with that, but with the anguish in Morgaine.

Changelinghad killed, had taken lives none of them could count; and more than that-it had taken yet another friend; that was the weight on her soul now, he thought: that and worry for the morrow.

There was still the tumult on the field below… sometimes diminishing, sometimes increasing as bands surged toward the rock of Nehmin and away again.

"The road must surely be blocked with the stonefall," Vanye observed, and then realized that would remind her of the arrhaand the ruin, and he did not want to do that.

"Aye," she said in Andurin. "I hope." And then with a shake of her head, still staring into the dark: "It was a fortunate accident. I do not think we should have survived otherwise. Fortunate too… there were none of us in the gap twixt Changelingand the arrha."

"You are wrong."

She looked at him.

"Not fortunate," he said. "Not chance. The little arrhaknew. I bore her across the field down there. She had great courage. And I believe she thought it through and waited until it had to be tried."

Morgaine said nothing. Perhaps she took peace of it. She turned back to the view into the dark, where cries drifted up fainter and fainter. Vanye looked in that direction and then back at her, with a sudden chill, for he saw her draw her Honor-blade. But she cut one of the thongs that hung at her belt-ring and gave it to him, sheathing the blade again.

"What am I to do with this?" he asked, thoroughly puzzled.

She shrugged, looking for once unsure of herself. "Thee never told me thoroughly," she said, lapsing into that older, familiar accent, "for what thee was dishonored… why they made thee ilin,that I know; but why did they take thy honor from thee too? I would never," she added, "orderthee to answer."

He looked down, clenching the thong taut between his fists, conscious of the hair that whipped about his face and neck. He knew then what she was trying to give him, and he looked up with a sudden sense of release. "It was for cowardice," he said, "because I would not die at my father's wish."

"Cowardice." She gave a breath of a laugh, dismissing such a thought. "Thee?-Braid thy hair, Nhi Vanye. Thee's been too long on this road for that."

She spoke very carefully, watching his face: in this grave matter even liyoought not to intervene. But he looked from her to the dark about them and knew that this was so. With a sudden resolve he set the thong between his teeth and swept back his hair to braid it, but the injured arm would not bear that angle. He could not complete it, and took the thong from his mouth with a sigh of frustration. "Liyo-"

"I might," she said, "if thy arm is too sore."

He looked on her, his heart stopped for a moment and then beginning again. No one touched an uyo'shair, save his closest kin… no woman except one in intimate relation with him. "We are not kin," he said.

"No. We are far from kin."

She knew, then, what she did. For a moment he tried to make some answer, then as it were of no consequence, he turned his back to her and let her strip out his own clumsy braiding. Her fingers were deft and firm, making a new beginning.

"I do not think I can make a proper Nhi braid," she said. "I have done only my own once and long ago, Chya."

"Make it Chya, then; I am not ashamed of that."

She worked, gently, and he bowed his head in silence, feeling what defied speaking. Long-time comrades, she and he; at least in distance and time as men measured it; ilinand liyo-he thought that there might be great wrong in what had grown between them; he feared that there was-but conscience in this area grew very faint.

And that Morgaine kri Chya set affection on anything vulnerable to loss-he knew what that asked of her.

She finished, took the thong from him and tied it The warrior's knot was familiar and yet unaccustomed to him, setting his mind back to Morija in Kursh, where he had last been entitled to it. It was a strange feeling. He turned then, met her gaze without lowering his eyes as once he might That was also strange.

"There are many things," he said, "we have never reckoned with each other. Nothing is simple."

"No," she said. "Nothing is." She turned her face to the dark again, and suddenly he realized there was silence below… no clash of arms, no distant shouting, no sound of horses.

The others realized it too. Merir stood and looked out over the field, of which only the vaguest details could be seen. Lellin and Sharrn leaned on the rocks to try to see, and Sezar struggled up with Lellin's help to look out over the edge.

Then from far away came thin cries, no warlike shouts, but terror. Such continued for a long time, at this point of the horizon and that.

Afterward was indeed silence.

And a beginning of dawn glimmered in the overcast east.

The light came slowly as always over Shathan. It sprang from the east to touch the gray clouds, and lent vague form to the tumbled rocks, the ruin of the great cliffs of Nehmin, and the distant breached gate of the Lesser Horn. The White Hill took shape in the morning haze, and the circular rim of the grove which ringed them about. Bodies of men lay thick on the field, blackening areas of it. Birds came with the dawn. A few frightened horses milled this way and that, riderless, unnatural restlessness.

But of the horde… none living.

It was long before any of them moved. Silently the arrhahad come forth into the daylight and stood staring at the desolation.

"Harilim,"said Merir. "The dark ones must have done this thing."

But then the distant call of a horn sounded, and drew their eyes northward, to the very rim of the clearing. There was a small band gathered there, which began their ride to Nehmin even as they watched.

"They came," said Lellin. "The arrhendhas come."

"Blow the answer to them," Merir said, and Lellin lifted the horn to his lips and sounded it loud and long.

The horses began in their far distance, to run.

And Morgaine gathered herself up, leaning on Changeling."We have a road to open," she said.

It was a grisly ruin, that tumbled mass on the lower road which had been the Dark Horn. They approached it carefully, and perhaps the arrhendimhad vision of setting hands to that jumble of vast blocks, for they murmured dismay; but Morgaine rode forward and dismounted, drew Changelingfrom its sheath.

The blade shimmered into life, enveloped stone after stone with that gulf at its tip, and whirled them away otherwhere… no random choice, but carefully, this one and the next and the next, so that some rocks fell and some slid over the brink and others were taken. Even yet Vanye blinked when it was done, for the mind refused such vision, the visible diminution of that debris whirled away into the void, carried on the wind. When even a small way was cleared, it seemed yet impossible what had stood there before.

They went past it fearfully, with an eye to the slide above them, for Morgaine had taken some care that it be secure, but the whole mass was too great and too new to be certain. There was enough space for them to pass; and below, cautiously, they must venture it again on the lower windings of the road.

The carnage was terrible in this place: the road had been packed with Shiua when the Horn came down, here and in other levels. In some places Morgaine must clear their way through the dead, and they were wary of stragglers, of ambush, by arrow or stonefall, at any moment; but they met none. The lonely sounds of their own horses' hooves rolled back off the cliff and up out of the rocks of the Lesser Horn as they wound their way down to that breached fortress.

This Vanye most dreaded; so, surely, did they all. But it had to be passed. Daylight showed through the broken doors as they rode near; they rode within and found death, dead horses and dead Men and khal,arrow-struck and worse. Beams and timbers from the shattered doors were scattered so that they must dismount, dangerous as it was, and lead the horses among Shiua dead.

There lay Vis, her small body almost like a marshlander's for size, fallen among her enemies, hacked with many wounds; and by the far gates was Perrin, her pale hair spilled about her and her bow yet in her dead fingers. An arrow had found her heart.

But of Roh, there was no sign.

Vanye dropped the reins of his horse and searched among the dead, finding nothing; Morgaine waited, saying nothing.

"I would find him," he pleaded, seeing the anger she had not spoken, knowing he was delaying them all.

"So would I," she answered.

He thrust this way and that among the bodies and the broken planks, the crashes of disturbed timbers echoing off the walls. Lellin helped him… and it was Lellin who found Roh, heaving aside the leaf of the front gate which had fallen back against the wall, the only one of the four still half on its hinges.

"He is alive," Lellin said.

Vanye worked past the obstacle, and put his shoulder beneath it, heaved it back with a crash that woke the echoes. Roh lay half-covered in debris, and they pulled the beams from him with care, the more so for the broken shaft which was in his shoulder. Roh's eyes were half open when they had him clear; Sharrn had brought his water flask, and Vanye bathed Roh's face in it, gave him a sip to drink, lifting his head.

Then with a heaviness of heart he looked at Morgaine, wondering whether having found him was kindness at all.

She let Siptah stand and walked slowly over in the debris. Roh's bow lay beside him, and his quiver that held one last arrow. She gathered up both out of the dust and knelt there, frowning, the bow clasped in her arms.

Horses were coming up the road outside. She rose then and set the weapons in Lellin's keeping, walking out into the gateway; but there was no alarm in her manner and Vanye stayed where he was, holding Roh on his knees.

They were arrhendim,half a score of them. They brought the breath of Shathan with them, these green-clad riders, fair-haired and dark, scatheless and wrapped in dusty daylight from the riven doors. They reined in and dismounted, hurrying to give homage to Merir, and to exclaim in dismay that their lord was in such a place and so weary, and that arrhendimhad died here.

"We were fourteen when we came into this place," said Merir. 'Two of the nameless; Perrin Selehnnin, Vis of Amelend, Dev of Tirrhend, Larrel Shaillon, Kessun of Obisend: they are our bitter loss."

"We have taken little hurt, lord, of which we are glad."

"And the horde?" Morgaine asked.

The arrhenlooked at her and at Merir, seeming bewildered. "Lord-they turned on each other. The qhaland the Men-fought until most were dead. The madness continued, and some perished by our arrows, and more fled into Shathan among the harilim,and there died. But very, very many died in fighting each other."

"Hetharu," Roh whispered suddenly, his voice dry and strange. "With Hetharu gone-Shien; and then it all fell apart."

Vanye pressed Roh's hand and Roh regarded him hazily. "I hear," Roh breathed. "They are gone, the Shiua. That is good."

He spoke the language of Andur, thickly, but the brown eyes slowly gained focus, and more so when Morgaine left the others to stand above him. "Thee sounds as if thee will survive, Chya Roh."

"I could not do even this much well," Roh said, self-mocking, which was Chya Roh and none of the other. "My apologies. We are back where we were."

Morgaine frowned and turned her back, walked away. "Arrhendimcan tend him, and we shall. I do not want him near the arrha,or Nehmin. Better he should be taken into Shathan."

She looked about her then, at all the ruin. "I will come back to this place when I must, but for the moment I would rather the forest, the forest… and a time to rest."

They made an easier ride this time across Azeroth, attended by old friends and new. They camped last beyond the two rivers, and there were arrhendimtents spread and a bright fire to warm the night.

Merir had come… great honor to them; and Lellin and Sezar and Sharrn, no holding them from this journey; and Roh: Roh, sunk much of the time in lonely silence or staring bleakly elsewhere. Roh sat apart from the company, among the strange arrhendimof east Shathan, well guarded by them, although he did little and said less, and had never made attempt to run.

"This Chya Roh," Merir whispered that night, while the remnant of the company shared food together, all but Roh. "He is halfling, aye, and more than that-but Shathan would take him. We have taken some even of the Shiua folk who have come begging peace with the forest, who have some love of the green land. And could any man's love for it be greater than his, who has offered his life for it?"

He spoke to Morgaine, and Vanye looked on her with sudden, painful hope, for Roh's fate had blighted all the peace of these last days. But Morgaine said nothing, and finally shook her head.

"He fought for us," said Lellin. "Sezar and I will speak for him."

"So do I," said Sharrn. "Lady Morgaine, I am alone. I would take this Man, and Dev would not reproach me for it, nor would Larrel and Kessun."

Morgaine shook her head, although with great sadaess. "Let us not speak of it again tonight. Please."

But Vanye did, when that night they were alone, in the tent which they shared. A tiny oil lamp lent a faint glow among the shadows. He could see Morgaine's face. A sad mood was on her, and one of her silences, but he ventured it all the same, for there was no more time.

"What Sharrn offered… are you thinking of that?"

Her gray eyes met his, guarded at once.

"I ask it of you," he said, "if it can be given."

"Do not." Her voice had a hard edge, quiet as it was. "Did I not say: I will never go right or left to please you?I know only one direction, Vanye. If you do not understand that, then you have never understood me at all."

"If you do not understand my asking, hopeless as it is, then you have never understood me either."

"Forgive me," she said then faintly. "Yes. I do. Thee must, being Nhi. But consider him, not your honor. What did you tell me… regarding what struggle he has? How long can he bear that?"

He let go his breath and clenched his hands about his knees, for it was true; he considered Roh's moodiness, the terrible darkness that seemed above him much of the time. The Fires were near dying. The power at Nehmin had been set to fade at a given day and hour, and that hour was evening tomorrow.

"I have ordered," Morgaine said, "that his guards watch him with special closeness this night."

"You saved his life. Why?"

"I have watched him. I have been watching him."

He had never spoken with her of Roh's fate, not in all the days that they had spent in the forest about Nehmin, while Roh and Sezar healed, while they rested and nursed their own wounds, and took the gentle hospitality of Shathan's east. He had almost hoped then for her mercy, had even been confident of it.

But when they had prepared to leave, she had ordered Roh brought with them under guard. "I want to know where you are," she had told Roh; and Roh had bowed in great irony. "Doubtless you have stronger wishes than that," Roh had answered, and the look of the stranger had been in his eyes. The stranger was much with them on this ride, even to this last night. Roh was quiet, morose; and sometimes it was Roh and as often it was not. Perhaps the arrhendimdid not fully see this; if any suspected this shifting, it was likely Merir, and perhaps Sharrn, who knew fully what he was.

"Do you doubt I consider what pain he suffers?" Vanye asked bitterly. "But I have faith in the outcome of this mood of his; and you always have faith in the worst. That is our difference."

"And we would not know until the Fires were dead, whether we should believe one thing or the other," Morgaine said. "And thee and I cannot linger this side to find it out."

"And you do not take chances."

"I do not take chances."

There was long silence.

"Never," she said, "have I power to listen to heart more than head. Thee's my better nature, Vanye. All that I am not, thee is. And when I come against that… Thee's the only-well, I would miss thee. But I have thought it over… how perhaps if I should harm this man, thee would hate me; that thee would, finally, leave me. And thee will do what thee thinks right; and so must I, thee by heart, I by head; and which of us is right, I do not know. But I cannot let myself be led by wanting this and wanting that. I must be right. It is not what Roh can do that frets me; once the Fires are dead-I hope… I hopethat he is powerless."

I know what is written in the runes on that blade,Roh had said; at least the gist of it.The words shot back into his mind out of all the confusion of pain and akil,turning him cold to the heart. Little of that time he did remember clearly; but this came back.

"He knows more," he said hoarsely. "He has at least part of Changeling'sknowledge."

A moment she stared at him, stark-stricken, and then bowed against her hands, murmured a word in her own lost language, over and over.

"I have killed him," Vanye said. "By telling you that, I have killed him, have I not?"

It was long before she looked up at him. "Nhi honor," she said.

"I do not think I will sleep well hereafter."

"Thee also serves something stronger than thyself."

"It is as cold a bedfellow as that you serve. Perhaps that is why I have always understood you. Only keep Changelingfrom him. What wants doing-I will do, if you cannot be moved."

"I cannot have that."

"In this, liyo,I do not care what you will and will not."

She folded her arms and rested her head against them.

The light eventually burned out; neither of them slept but by snatches, nor spoke, while it burned. It was only afterward that Vanye fell into deeper sleep, and that still sitting, his head upon his arms.

They slept late in the morning; the arrhendmade no haste to wake them, but had breakfast prepared when they came out, Morgaine dressed in her white garments, Vanye in the clothing which the arrhendimhad provided. And still Roh did not choose to sit with them, nor even to eat, though his guards brought him food and tried to persuade him. He only drank a little, and sat with his head bowed on his arms after.

"We will take Roh," Morgaine said to Merir and the others when they had done with breakfast. "Our ways must part now, yours and ours; but Roh must go with us."

"If you will it so," said Merir, "but we would go all the way to the Fires with you."

"Best we ride this last day alone. Go back, lord. Give our love to the Mirrindim and the Carrhendim. Tell them why we could not come back."

"There is also," said Vanye, "a boy named Sin, of Mirrind, who wants to be khemeis."

"We know him," said Sharrn.

'Teach him," Vanye asked of the old arrhen.He saw then a touch of longing come to the qhal'sgray eyes.

"Aye," said Sham. "I shall. The Fires may go, but the arrhendmust remain."

Vanye nodded slowly, comforted.

"We would come with you," said Lellin, "Sezar and I. Not to the Fires, but through them. It would be hard to leave our forests, harder yet to leave the arrhend…but-"

Morgaine regarded him, and Merir's pain, and shook her head. "You belong here. Shathan is in your keeping; it would be wrong to desert it. Where we go-well, you have given us all that we need and more than we could ask. We will fare well enough, Vanye and I."

And Roh?The question flickered briefly into the eyes of the arrhendim,and there remained dread after. They seemed then to realize, and there was silence.

"We had better go," Morgaine said. From her neck she lifted the chain, and the gold medallion, and gave it back into Merir's hands. "It was a great gift, lord Merir."

"It was borne by one we shall not forget."

"We do not ask your forgiveness, lord Merir, but some things we much regret."

"You do not need it, lady. It will be sung whythese things were done; you and your khemeiswill be honored in our songs as long as there are arrhendimto sing them."

"And that is itself a great gift, my lord."

Merir inclined his head, and set his hand then on Vanye's shoulder. "Khemeis,when you prepare, take the white horse for your own. None of ours can keep up with the gray, but only she."

"Lord," he said, dismayed and touched at once. "She is yours."

"She is great-granddaughter to one who was mine, khemeis;I treasure her, and therefore I give her to you, to one who will love her well. The saddle and bridle are hers; Arrhan is her name. May she bear you safely and long. And this more." Merir pressed into his hand the small case of an arrha'sjewel. "All these will die in this land as the Fires die. If your lady permits, I give you this… no weapon, but a protection, and a means to find your way, should you ever be parted."

He looked at Morgaine, and she nodded, well-pleased.

"Lord," he said, and would have knelt to thank him, but the old lord prevented him.

"No. We honor you. Khemeis,I shall not live so much longer. But even when our children are dust, you and your lady and my small gift to you… will be yet upon your journey, perhaps not even across the simple step you will take this evening. Far, far travelling. I shall think of that when I die. And it will please me to be remembered."

"We shall do that, lord."

Merir nodded, and turned away, bidding the arrhendimbreak camp.

They armed with care for this ride, in armor partly familiar and partly arrhendim,and each of them had a good arrhendimbow and a full quiver of brown-fletched arrows besides. Only Roh went unarmed; Morgaine bound his bow, unstrung, upon her saddle, and his sword was on Vanye's.

Roh seemed not at all surprised when told that they required him to ride with them.

He bowed them, and mounted the bay horse which the arrhendhad provided him. He yet moved painfully, and used his right hand more than his left, even in rising to the saddle.

Vanye mounted up on white Arrhan, and turned her gently to Morgaine's side.

"Goodbye," said Merir.

"Goodbye," they said together.

"Farewell," Lellin offered them, and he and Sezar were first to turn away, Merir after; but Sharrn lingered.

"Farewell," Sharrn said to them, and looked last on Roh. "Chya Roh-"

"For your kindness," Roh said, almost the first words he had spoken in days, "I thank you, Sharrn Thiallin."

Then Sharrn left, and the rest of the arrhendim,riding quickly across the plain toward the north.

Morgaine started Siptah moving south, in no great haste, for the Fires would not die until the night, and they had the day before them with no far distance to ride.

Roh looked back from time to time, and Vanye did, until the distance and the sunlight swallowed up the arrhendim,until even the dust had vanished.

And no word had any of them spoken.

"You are not taking me with you," said Roh, "through the Gate."

"No," said Morgaine.

Roh nodded slowly.

"I am waiting for you," said Morgaine, "to say something in the matter."

Roh shrugged, and for a time he made no answer, but the sweat beaded on his face, calm as it remained.

"We are old enemies, Morgaine kri Chya. Why this is, I have never understood… until late, until Nehmin. At least-I know your purpose. I find some peace with that. I only wonder why you have insisted on my survival this far. Can you not make up your mind? I do not believe at all that you have changed your intentions."

"I told you. I have a distaste for murder."

Roh laughed outright, then flung his head back, eyes shut against the sun. He smiled, smiled still when he looked at them. "I thank you," he said hoarsely. "It is up to me, is it not? You are waiting for me to decide; of course. You bade Vanye carry that Honor-blade of mine, long since hoping. If you will give it back to me, I think that-outside the sight of the Gate-I shall have the strength to use that gift. Only– there–I could not say what I would do, if you bring me close to that place. There are things I do not want to remember."

Morgaine reined to a halt. There was nothing but grass about them, no sight yet of the Gate, nor of the forest, nor anything living. Roh's face was very pale. She handed across to him the bone-hilted Honor-blade, his own. He took it, kissed the hilt, sheathed it. She gave him then his bow, and the one arrow that was his; and nodded to Vanye. "Give him his sword back."

Vanye did so, and was relieved to see that at the moment the stranger was gone and only Roh was with them; there was on Roh's face only a sober look, a strangely mild regret.

"I will not speak to him directly," Morgaine said at Roh's back. "My face stirs up other memories, I think, and perhaps it is best he look on it as little as possible under these circumstances. He has avoided me zealously. But do you know him, Vanye?"

"Yes, liyo.He is in command of himself… has been, I think, more than you have believed."

"Only with you… in Shathan. And with difficulty… now. I am the worst possible company for him; I am the only enemy Roh and Liell share. He cannot go with us. Chya Roh, you have knowledge enough it is deadly to leave you here; all that I do would rest on your will to rule that other nature of yours. You might bring the Gate to life again in this land, undo all that we have done, work ruin on us, and on this land."

He shook his head. "No. I much doubt that I could."

'Truth, Chya Roh?"

"The truth is that I do not know. There is a remote chance."

"Then I give you choice, Chya Roh. That you have the means with you and the strength to leave this life: choose that, if you think that safest for you and for Shathan; but if you choose… if you can for the rest of your years be strong enough… choose Shathan."

He backed his horse and looked at her, shaken for the first time, terror on his face. "I do not believe you could offer that."

"Vanye and I can make the Gate from here; we will wait here until we see you over the horizon, and then we will ride like the wind itself and reach it before you could. There we will wait until we know that you cannot follow. That eliminates the one chance. But the other, that you might do harm here-that rests on Chya Roh. I know now which man is making the choice: Roh would not risk harm to this land."

For a long time Roh said nothing, his head bowed, his hands clenched upon the sword and the Chya longbow which lay across his saddle.

"Suppose that I am strong enough?" he asked.

Then Sharrn will be glad to find you coming after him," said Morgaine. "And Vanye and I would envy you this exile."

A light came to Roh's face, and with a sudden move he reined about and rode-but he stopped then, and came back to them as they watched, bowed in the saddle to Morgaine, and then rode close to Vanye, leaned across and embraced him.

There were tears in his eyes. It was Roh, utterly. Vanye himself wept; a man might, at such a time.

Roh's hand pressed the back of his neck, bared now by the warrior's knot "Chya braid," Roh said. "You have gotten back your honor, Nhi Vanye i Chya; I am glad of that. And you have given me mine. Your road I do not truly envy. I thank you, cousin, for many things."

"It will not be easy for you."

"I swear to you," said Roh, "and I will keep that oath."

Then he rode away, and the distance and the sunlight came between.

Siptah eased up next Arrhan, quiet moving of horse and harness.

"I thank you," Vanye said.

"I am frightened," Morgaine said in a still voice. "It is the most conscienceless thing I have ever done."

"He will not harm Shathan."

"And I have set an oath on the arrha,that should he stay in this land, they would guard Nehmin still."

He looked at her, dismayed that she had borne this intention secret from him.

"Even my mercies," she said, "are not without calculation. You know this of me."

"I know," he said.

Roh passed out of sight over the horizon.

"Come," she said then, turning Siptah about. He reined Arrhan around and touched heel to her as Siptah sprang forward into a run. The golden grass flew under their hooves.

Soon the Gate itself was in sight, opal fire in the daylight.