Fires of Azeroth

Chapter Thirteen

The company was forming up outside Merir's tent… six arrhendim,all told: two younger; two older, the khemeis'shair almost as white as his arrhend,with faces well-weathered by time; and an older pair of arrhendim,women of the arrhend…not quite as old, for the khemeisof that pair had hair equally streaked with silver and dark, while her arrhend,like all qhal,aged yet more slowly and had the look of thirty human years.

Horses had been readied for the two of them, and Vanye was well-pleased with them: a bay gelding for him and a sorrel for Roh, both deep-chested and strong, for all their gracefulness. Even the herds of Morija would have been proud of such as these.

They did not mount up; one horse remained riderless, a white mare of surpassing beauty, and the party waited. Vanye heaved his gear up to his saddle and bound it there, found also a waterflask and saddlebags and a good gray blanket, such things as he would have asked had he dared press at their charity. A khemeisfrom the crowd came offering them cloaks, one for him and one for Roh. They put them on gratefully, for the day was cool for their light clothing.

And when all that was done, they still waited. Vanye stood scratching the bay's chin and calming his restiveness. He felt himself almost whole again, whether by Arrhel's draught or by the touch of a horse under his hands and his weapons by him… fretting to be underway, to be beyond intervention or recall, lest some circumstance change Merir's mind.

One of the khemibrought a chain of flowers, and bound it in the mane of the white horse; and came others, bringing such flower chains for each of the departing arrhendim.

But it was Ellur who brought a white one for Roh's horse, and Sin came bearing a chain of bright blue. The boy reached high to bind it into the black mane, so that they swung there like a chain of tiny bells. And then Sin looked up at him.

Premonition came on him that he was looking on the boy for the last time, that there would be-one way or another– no return for him from this ride. Sin seemed to believe it too this time. Tears brimmed in his eyes, but he held them; he had been through Shathan: he was no longer the boy in Merrind.

"I have no parting-gift," Vanye said, searching his memory for something left that he owned but his weapons; and never had he felt his poverty as much as in that moment, that he had nothing left to spare. "Among our people we give something when we know the parting will be long."

"I made this for you," said Sin, and drew forth from his shirt a carving of a horse's head. It was made of wood, small, of surpassing skill, as there were so many talents in Sin's hands. Vanye took it, and thrust it within his collar. Then in desperation he cut a ring from his belt, plain steel and blue-black; it had once held spare leather, but he had none of that left either. He pressed it into Sin's hand and closed his brown fingers over it. "It is a plain thing, the only thing I have to give that I brought from home, from Morija of Andur-Kursh. Do not curse my memory when you are grown, Sin. My name was Nhi Vanye i Chya; and if ever I do you harm, it is not from wanting it. May there always be arrhendimin Shathan, and Mirrindim too. And when you are arrhendimyourselves, you and Ellur, see that it is so."

Sin hugged him, and Ellur came and took his hand. He chanced to look up at Roh, then, and Roh's face was sad. "Ra-koris was such a place," Roh said, naming his own hall in forested Andur. "If I had no reason to oppose the Shiua for my own sake, I would have now, having seen this place. But for my part I would save it, not take from it the only thing that might defend it."

The boys' hands were clenched in either of his; he stared at Roh and felt defenseless, without any argument but his oath.

"If she is dead," Roh said, "respecting your grief, cousin, I shall not even say evil of her-but you would be free then, and would you still carry out what she purposed? Would you take that from them? I think there is some conscience in you. They surely think so."

"Keep silent. Save your shafts for me, not them."

"Aye," Roh murmured. "No more of it." He laid his hand on his horse's neck, and looked about him, at the great trees that towered so incredibly above the tents. "But think on it, cousin."

There was a sudden murmuring in the crowd; it parted, and Merir passed through-a different Merir from the one they had seen, for the old lord wore robes made for riding; a horn bound in silver was at his side, and he bore a kit which he hung from the saddle of the white horse. The beautiful animal turned its head, lipped familiarly at his shoulder, and he caressed the offered nose and took up the reins. He needed no help to climb into the saddle.

"Be careful, Father," said one of the qhal."Aye," others echoed. "Be careful."

Arrhel came. Merir took the lady's hand from horseback. "Lead in my absence," he bade her, and pressed her hand before he let it go. The others were beginning to mount up.

A last time Vanye bade the boys farewell, and let them go, and climbed into the saddle. The bay started to move of his own accord as the other horses started away; and before he had ridden far he was drawn to look back. Sin and Ellur were running after him, to stay with him while they could. He waved at them, and they reached the edge of the camp. Trees began to come between. His last sight of them was of the two stopped forlornly at the forest margin, fair-haired qhalurlad and small, dark boy, alike in stance. Then the green leaves curtained them, and he turned in the saddle.

The company rode mostly in silence, with the two young arrhendimin the lead and the eldest riding close by Merir. Vanye and Roh rode after them, and the two arrhendimrode last… no swords did they bear, unlike the arrhendim,but bows longer than the men's, and their slim hands were leathered with half-glove and bracer, old and well-worn. The khemeisof that pair often lagged behind and out of sight, serving apparently as rearguard and scout as the khemeisof the pair in front tended to disappear ahead of them to probe the way.

Sharrn and Dev were the names of the old arrhendim;Vanye asked of the arrhenPerrin, the qhalurwoman, who rode nearest them. Her khemeiswas Vis; and the young pair were Larrel and Kessun, cheerful fellows, who reminded him with a pang of Lellin and Sezar whenever he looked on them together.

They rested briefly halfway to dark. Kessun had vanished some time before that stop, and did not reappear when he ought; and Larrel paced and fretted. But the khemeiscame in just as they were setting themselves ahorse again, and bowed apology, whispering something to lord Merir in private.

Then from somewhere in the far distance came the whistled signal of an arrhen,thin and clear as birdsong, advising them that all was well.

That was comforting to hear, for it was the first signal they had heard in all that ride, as if those who ranged the woods hereabouts were few or frightened. Lightness came on the arrhendimthen, and a smile to Merir's eyes for a moment, though they had been sad before.

Thereafter Larrel and Kessun both parted company with them, and rode somewhere ahead.

Nor did they appear at night, when they could no longer see their way and stopped to set up camp.

They were settled near a stream, and brazenly dared a fire… Merir decided that it was safe enough. They sat down together in that warmth and shared food. Vanye ate, although he had small appetite: he felt the fever on him after the day's riding, and drank some of Arrhel's medicine.

He would gladly have sought his blanket then and gone to sleep, for his wounds pained him and he was exhausted from even so short a journey; but he refused to leave the fireside with Roh able to say what he would, to use his cleverness alone with the arrhendim.Chances were that Roh would keep his word; but he did not think it well to put overmuch temptation in Roh's way, so he rested where he was, bowed his head against his arms and sat savoring at least the fire's warmth.

Merir gave some whispered instruction to the arrhendim,which was not unusual in the day; quietly the arrhendimmoved, and Vanye lifted his head to see what was happening.

It was Perrin and Vis who had withdrawn, and they gathered up their bows where they stood, deftly strung them.

"Trouble, lord?" Roh asked, frowning and tense. But the arrhendimmade no move to depart on any business.

Merir sat unmoved, wrapped in his cloak, his old face gaunt and seamed in the firelight. All pure qhalhad a delicate look, almost fragile; but Merir was like something carved in bone, hard and keen. "No," Merir said softly. "I have simply told them to watch."

The old arrhendimstill sat at the fire, beside Merir; and something in the manner of all of them betokened no outside enemies. The arrhendimquietly put arrows to their strings and faced inward, not outward, though no bow was drawn.

"It is ourselves," Vanye said in a still voice, and a tremor of anger went through him. "I believed you, my lord."

"So have I believed you," Merir said. "Put off your weapons for the moment. I would have no misunderstanding -Do so, or forfeit our good will."

Vanye unbuckled the belts and shed the sword and the dagger, laid them to one side; and Roh did likewise, frowning. Dev came and gathered them all up, returned to Merir's side and laid them down on that side of the fire.

"Forgive us," said Merir. "A very few questions." He arose, Sharrn and Dev with him. He gestured to Roh. "Come, stranger. Come with me."

Roh gathered himself to his feet, and Vanye started to do the same. "No," said Merir. "Be wise and do not. I would not have you harmed."

The bows had drawn.

"Their manners are marginally better than Hetharu's," Roh said quietly. "I do not mind their questions, cousin."

And Roh went with them willingly enough, possessed of knowledge enough to betray them thoroughly. They withdrew along the bank of the stream, where trees screened them from view. Vanye stayed as he was, on one knee.

"Please," said Perrin, her bow still bent. "Please do not do anything, sirren.Vis and I, we seldom miss even small targets separately. Together, we could not miss you at all. They will not harm your kinsman. Please sit down so that we may all relax."

He did so. The bows relaxed; the arrhendim'svigilance did not. He bowed his head against his hands and waited, with fever throbbing in his brain and desperation seething in him.

The arrhendimled Roh back finally, and settled him under the watchful eye of the archers. Vanye looked at Roh, but Roh met his eyes but once, and his look said nothing at all.

"Come," Sharrn said, and Vanye rose up and went with them, into the dark, down where the trees overhung and the brook splashed among the stones.

Merir waited, sitting on a fallen log, a pale figure in the moonlight, wrapped in his cloak. The arrhendimstopped him at a few paces' distance, and he stood, offering no respect: respect had been betrayed. Merir offered him to sit on the ground, but he would not.

"Ah," said Merir. "So you feel misused. And yet have you been misused, khemeis,reckoning all things into the account? Are we not here, pursuing a course you asked of us-and in spite of the fact that you have not yet been honest with us?"

"You are not my sworn lord," Vanye said, his heart sinking in him, for he was sure now that Roh had done his worst. "I never lied to you. But some things I would not say, no. The Shiua," he added bitterly, "used akil,and force. Doubtless you would too. I thought you different."

"Then why did you not deal with us differently?"

"What did Roh say to you?"

"Ah, you fear that."

"Roh does not lie… at least not in most things. But half of him is not Roh; and half of him would cut my throat and I know it. I have told you how that is. I have told you. I do not think anything he would have told you would have been friendly to me or to my lady."

"It is so, khemeis,that your lady bears a thing of power?"

Had it been daylight, Merir must have seen the color wash from his face; he felt it go, and fear gathered cold and small in his belly. He said nothing.

"But it isso," said Merir. "She could have told me. She would not. She left me and sought her own way. She was anxious to reach Nehmin. But she has not done so… I know that much."

Vanye's heart beat rapidly. Some men claimed Sight; it was so in Shiuan… but something there was in Merir's hardness which minded him less of those dreamers than of Morgaine herself.

"Where is she?" he demanded of Merir. "And do you threaten? Would you?"

He sprang to seize the old qhalto hostage before the arrhendimcould intervene; and all at once he felt that thickness of sense that a Gate could cause. He caught at the qhal-lord,and as he did so his senses swam; he yet held to the robes, determined with all that was in him. Merir cried out; the dizziness increased; for a moment there was darkness, utter and cold.

Then earth. He lay on dew-slick leaves, and Merir with him. The arrhendimseized him-he hardly felt the grip-and drew him back. Weakly Merir stirred.

"No," Merir said. "No. Do not harm him." Steel slid back into sheath then, and Sharrn moved to help Merir, lifted him gently, set him on the log; but Vanye rested still on his knees, lacking any feeling in hands or feet. The void still gaped within his mind, dazing him, as it surely must Merir.

Gate-force. An area about the qhal-lord-charged with the terror of the Gates. I know,Merir had claimed; and know he must, for the Gates were still alive, and Morgaine had not stilled their power.

"So," Merir breathed at last, "you are brave… to have fought that; braver surely than to sink to violence against one so old as I."

Vanye bowed his head, tossed the hair from his eyes and met the old lord's angry stare. "Honor I left long and far from here, my lord. I only wish I could have held you."

"You know such forces. You have passed the Fires at least twice, and I could not frighten you." Merir drew from his robes a tiny case and carefully opened it. Again that shimmering grew about his hand and his person, although what rested inside was a very tiny jewel, swirling with opal colors. Vanye flinched from it, for he knew the danger.

"Yes," said Merir, "Your lady is not the only one who holds power in this land. I am one. And I knew that such a thing was loose in Shathan… and I sought to know what it was. It was a long search. The power remained hidden. You fit well into Mirrind, invisibly well, to your credit. I was dismayed to know that you were among us. I sent for you, and heard you out… and knew even then that there was such a thing unaccounted for in Shathan. I loosed you, hoping that you would go against your enemies; I did believe you, you see. Yet she would seek Nehmin… against all my advice. And Nehmin has defenders more powerful than I. Some of them she passed, and that amazes me; but she never passed the others. Perhaps she is dead. I might not know that. Lellin should have returned to me, and he has not. I think Lellin trusted you somewhat, else he would have returned quickly… but I do not even know for certain that he lived much past Carrhend. I have only your word. Nehmin stands. Perhaps the Shiua you speak of have prevented her… or others might. You cast yourself back into our hands as if we were your own kindred-in some trust, I do think; and yet you admit with your silence what it was she wished in coming here… to destroy what defends this land. And she is the bearer of the power I have sensed; I know that now, beyond doubt. I asked Chya Roh why she would destroy Nehmin. He said that such destruction was her function and that he himself did not understand; I asked him why then he sought to go to her, and he said that after all he has done, there is no one else who will have him. You say he rarely lies. Are these lies?"

A tremor went through him. He shook his head and swallowed the bile in his throat. "Lord, hebelieves it."

"I put to you the same questions, then. What do you believe?"

"I-do not know. All these things Roh claims to know for truth… I do not; and I have served her. I told her once that I did not want to know; she gave me that-and now I cannot answer you, and I would that I could. I only know her,better than Roh knows-and she does not wish to harm you. She does not want that."

"That is truth," Merir judged. "At least– youbelieve that it is so."

"I have never lied to you. Nor has she." He strove to gain his feet; the arrhendimput their hands on him to prevent him, but Merir gestured to them to let him be. He stood, yet sick and dizzied, looking down on the frail lord. "It was Morgaine who tried to keep the Shiua out of your land. Blame me, blame Roh that they came here; sheforesaw this and tried to prevent it. And this I know, lord, that there is evil in the power that you use, and that it will take you sooner or later, as it took the Shiua… this thing you hold in your hand. To touch that-hurts; I know that; and she knows best of all… she hates that thing she carries, hates above everything the evil that it does."

Merir's eyes searched over him, his face eerily lit in the opal fires. Then he closed the tiny case, and the light faded, reddening his flesh for a moment before it went. "One who bears what Roh describes would feel it most. It would eat into the very bones. The Fires we wield are gentler; hers consumes. It does not belong here. I would she had never come."

"What she brought ishere, lord. If it must be in other hands than hers-if she is lost-then I had rather your hand on it than the Shiua's."

"And yours rather than mine?"

He did not answer.

"It is the sword-is it not? The weapon that she would not yield up. It is the only thing she bore of such size."

He nodded reluctantly.

"I will tell you this, Nhi Vanye, servant of Morgaine… that last night that power was unmasked, and I felt it as I have not felt it since first you came into Shathan. What would it have been, do you think?"

"The sword was drawn," he said, and hope and dread surged up in him-hope that she lived, and agony to think that she might have been in extremity enough to draw it.

"Aye, so do I judge. I shall take you to that place. You stand little chance of reaching it alone, so bear in mind, khemeis,that you still ride under my law. Ride free if you will; attempt Shathan against my will. Or stay and accept it."

"I shall stay," he said.

"Let him walk free," Merir said to the arrhendim,and they did so, although they trailed him back to the fire.

Roh was there, still under the archers' guard; the arrhendimsignalled them, and the arrows were replaced in their quivers.

Vanye went to Roh, anger hazing his vision so that Roh was all the center of it. "Get up," he said, and when Roh would not, he seized him and swung. Roh broke the force with his arm and struck back, but he took the blow and drove one through. Roh staggered sidewise to the ground.

The arrhendimintervened with drawn swords; one drew blood, and he reeled back from that warning, sense returning to him. Roh tried to rise to the attack, but the arrhendimstopped that too.

Roh straightened and rose more slowly, wiped the blood from his mouth with a dark look. He spat blood, and wiped his mouth a second time.

"Henceforth," Vanye said in Andurin, "I shall guard my own back. Take care of yours, clan-lord, cousin. I am ilin,and not your man, whatever name you wear. All agreements are ended. I want my enemies in front of me."

Again Roh spat, and rage burned in his eyes. "I told them nothing,cousin. But have it as you will. Our agreement is ended. You would have killed me without asking. Nhi threw you out. Clan-lord I still am, and for my will. Chyacasts you out. Be ilinto the end of your days, kinslayer, and thank your own nature for it. I told them nothing they did not already know. Tell him, lord Merir, for his asking: What did I betray? What did I tell you that you did not first tell me?"

"Nothing," said Merir. "He told us nothing. That is truth."

The anger drained out of him, leaving only the wound. He stood there with no argument against Roh's affront, and at last he shook his bead and unclenched his bloody hand. "I bore with everything," he said hoarsely. "NowI strike back… when I am in the wrong. That is always my curse. I take your word, Roh."

"You take nothing of me, Nhi bastard."

His mouth worked. He swallowed down another burst of anger, seeing how this one had served him, and went away to his pallet. He lay down there, too distraught for sleep.

The others sought their rest; the fire burned to ash; the watch passed from Perrin to Vis.

Roh lay near him, staring at the heavens, his face set and still angry, and when Roh slept, if ever that night, he did not know it.

The camp came to slow life in the daylight, the arrhendimbeginning to pack up and saddle the horses. Vanye rose among the first, began to put on his armor, and Roh saw him and did likewise, both silent, neither looking openly toward the other. Merir was last to rise, and insisted on breaking their fast. They did so; and quietly, at the end of the meal, Merir ordered their weapons returned to them both.

"So you do not break the peace again," Merir cautioned them.

"I do not seek my cousin's life," Vanye said in a faint voice, only for Merir and Roh.

Roh said nothing, but slipped into his sword harness, and rammed the Honor-blade into place at his belt, stalking off to attend to his horse.

Vanye stared after him, bowed courtesy to Merir empty reflex… and went after him.

There were no words. Roh would not look at him but with anger, making speech impossible, and he turned instead to saddling his horse.

Roh finished; he did, and started to lead his horse into line with the others that were mounting up. And on a last and bitter impulse he stopped by Roh's side and waited for him.

Roh swung to the saddle; he did the same. They rode together into line, and the column started moving.

"Roh," he said finally, "are we beyond reasoning?"

Roh turned a cold eye on him. "You are worried, are you?" he asked in the language of Andur. "How much did they learn of you,cousin?"

"Probably what they did of you," he said. "Roh, Merir is armed. As she is."

Roh had not known. The comprehension dawned on him slowly. "So that is what unnerved you." He spat painfully to the other side. "And there is something here, then, that could oppose her. Thatis why you are so desperate. It was a bad mistake to set me at your throat; that is what you least need. You should not have told me. That is your second mistake."

"He would have told you when he wished; now I know that you know."

Roh was silent a time. "I do not know why I do not pay you what you have deserved of me. I suppose it is the novelty of hearing a Nhi say he was wrong." His voice broke; his shoulders sagged. "I told you that I was tired. Peace, cousin, peace. Someday we shall have to kill one another. But not… not without knowing why."

"Stay with me. I will speak for you. I said that I would, and I still mean it."

"Doubtless." Roh spat again to the side, wiped his mouth and swore with a shake of his head. "You loosened two of my teeth. Let it wipe out other debts. Aye, we will see how things stand… see whether sheknows the meaning of reason, or whether these folk do. I have a fancy for an Andurin burial; or if things turn out otherwise, I know the Kurshin rite."

"Avert," he murmured, and crossed himself fervently.

Roh laughed bitterly, and bowed his head. The trail narrowed thereafter, and they rode no more together.

Larrel and Kessun returned; they were simply standing in the way as they rode around a bending of the trail, and met and talked with Merir.

"We have ridden as far as the Laur," Larrel said, and both the arrhendimand their horses looked weary. "Word is relayed up from Merrind: no trouble; nothing stirs."

"This is a strange silence," Merir said, leaning on his saddle and casting a look back. "So many thousands-and nothing stirs."

"I do not know," said Vanye, for that look shot directly at him. "I would have expected immediate attack." Then another thought came to him. "Fwar's men. If any who fell behind were not killed-"

"Aye," Roh said. "They might have given warning what that forest is, if any came out again; or Shien might. And perhaps others of Fwar's folk could do us harm enough by talking."

"Knowledge where sheis to be sought?"

"All the Shiua know where she was lost. And having lost us. .."

"Her," Merir concluded, taut-lipped. "An attack near Nehmin."

The sword was drawn, Vanye recalled, two nights ago. There was time enough for the horde to have veered to Narn-side. A fine sweat broke out on him, cold in the forest shadow. "I pray you haste."

"We are near the harilim'swoods," Merir said, "and there is no reckless haste, not for our lives' sake."

But they kept moving, the weary arrhendimfalling in with them, and they rested as seldom as the horses could bear, save that they stopped at midafternoon and rested until twilight; then they saddled up again, and set out into a deeper, older part of the woods.

Dark fell on them more quickly under these monstrous old trees; and now and again came small chitterings in the brush that frightened the horses.

Then from the fore of their party flared an opal shimmer that made Merir's horse shy the more, horse and rider for a moment like an image under water. The flare died.

For a moment the forest was utterly quiet. Then the harilimcame, stalking, rapid shapes. The first gave a chirring sound, and the horses threw their heads and fought the bits, dancing this way and that in a frenzy to run.

Then Merir led them forward, and their strange guides went about them, melting away into shadow after a time until there were only three left, which walked with Merir, chittering softly the while. It was clear that the master of Shathan had safe-passage where he would, even of these: they reverenced the power of the Fires which Merir held in his naked hand, and yielded to that, although the arrhendimthemselves seemed afraid. Of a sudden Vanye realized what his chances had truly been, trifling with these creatures, and he shuddered recalling his passage among them: they served the Fires in some strange fashion, perhaps worshipped them. In his ignorance he had sought a passage in which even the lord of Shathan moved carefully and with dread… and one of them at least must have recalled him as companion to another who carried the Fires. Surely that was why he and Roh lived: the harilimhad recalled Morgaine.

His heart beat faster as he scanned the dark, heron-like shapes ahead of him on the trail. They may know,he thought any living know where she is, they may know.He entertained a wild hope that they might lead them to her this night, and wished that there were some way that a human tongue could shape their speech or human ears understand them. Even Merir was unable to do that; when he did consult with them, it was entirely with signs.

The hope faded. It was not to any secret place that the harilimled them, but only through; they broke upon the Narn at the last of the night… black and wide it showed through the trees, but there was a place which might be a crossing, sandbars humped against the current. The harilnearest pointed, made a sign of passing, and as suddenly began to leave them.

Vanye leaped down from his horse, caught his balance against a tree and tried to stop one of them. Three persons,he signed to the creature. Where?Perhaps it understood something. The vast dark eyes flickered in the starlight. It lingered, made a sign with spidery fingers spread, hand rising. And it pointed riverward. The third gesture fluttered the fingers. And then it turned and stalked away, leaving him helpless in his frustration.

"The Fires," said Sharrn. "The river. Many."

He looked at the q hal.

"You took a chance," said Sharrn. "It might have killed you. Do not touch them."

"We could learn no more of them," said Merir, and started the white mare down the bank toward the water.

The harilimwere gone. The oppression of their presence lifted suddenly and the arrhendimmoved quickly to follow Merir. Vanye swung up to the saddle and came last but for Roh and Vis. The anxiety that gnawed at him was the keener for the scant information the creature had passed. And when they went down to water's edge he looked this way and that, for although it was not the place they had been ambushed, it was the same situation and as likely a trap. The only difference was that the harilimhad guided them right up to the brink, and perhaps still stood guard over them in the coming of the light.

There was need of care for another reason in crossing at such a place, for quicksands were well possible. Larrel gave his horse into Kessun's keeping and waded it first; at one place he did meet with trouble, and fell sidelong, working out of it, but the rest of the crossing went more easily. Then Kessun rode the way that he had walked, and Dev followed, and Sharrn and Merir and the rest of them, the women last as usual. On the other side the young arrhenLarrel was soaked to the skin, shivering with the cold and with the exhaustion of his far-riding and his battle with the sands. Qhalthat he was, he looked worn to the bone, thinner and paler than was natural. Kessun wrapped him in his dry cloak and fretted about fevers, but Larrel climbed back into the saddle and clung there.

"We must get away from this place," Larrel said amid his shivering. "Crossings are too easily guarded."

There was no argument from any of them in that; Merir turned them south now, and they rode until the horses could do no more.

They rested at last at noon ,and took a meal which they had neglected in their haste of the morning. No one spoke; even the prideful qhalsat slumped in exhaustion. Roh flung himself down on the sun-warmed earth, the only patch of sun in the cover they had found in the forest's edge, and lay like the dead; Vanye did likewise, and although the fever he had carried for days seemed gone, he felt that the marrow had melted from his bones and the strength that moved them was dried up from the heat. His hand lying before his face looked strange to him, the bones more evident than they had been, the wrist scabbed with wounds. His armor was loose on his body-sun-heated misery at the moment where it touched him; he was too weary even to turn over and spare himself the discomfort.

Something startled the horses.

He moved; the arrhendimsprang up; and Roh.. A whistle sounded, brief and questioning. Merir stood forth to be seen, and Sharrn answered the signal in such complexity of trills and runs that Vanye's acquaintance with the system could make no sense of it. An answer came back, no less complex.

"We are advised," Merir said after it fell silent, "of threat to Nehmin. Sirrindim…the Shiua you fled… have come up the Narn in great numbers."

"And Morgaine?" Vanye asked.

"Of Morgaine, of Lellin, of Sezar… nothing. It is as if a veil has been drawn over their very existence. Alive or dead, their presence is not felt in Shathan, or the arrhendimthis side could tell us. They cannot. Something isgreatly amiss."

His heart fell then. He was almost out of hopes.

"Come," said Merir. "We have no time to waste."

Chapter Fourteen

The trouble was not long in showing itself. Movement startled birds from cover in the thickets of the Narn's other bank, and soon there were riders in sight, but the broad Narn divided them from the enemy and there was no ford to give either side access to the other.

The enemy saw them too, and halted in consternation. It was a khalurcompany, demon-helmed, scale armored, on the smallish Shiua horses. Their weapons were pikes; but they carried more than those . .. ugly opponents. And the leader, whose white mane flowed evident in the wind of his riding when he led them forward to the water's edge: the arrhendimwere appalled at the sight of him, one like themselves, and different… fantastical in his armor, the old-dream elaborations of khalurworkmanship.

"Shien!" Vanye hissed, for there was no one in the Shiua host with that arrogant bearing save Hetharu himself. The khalchallenged them, rode his horse to the knees in water before he was willing to heed his men-at-arms and draw back.

Their own company kept moving, opposite to the direction of the Sotharra band; but Shien and his riders wheeled about and paced them, with the broad black waters of the Narn between. Arrows flew from the Sotharra side, most falling into the water, a few rattling on the stones of the shore.

The qhalPerrin reined out to the river's very brink and shot one swiftly aimed shaft from her bow. A demon-helmed khalscreamed and pitched in the saddle, and his comrades caught him. A cry of rage went up from that side, audible across the water. And Vis raced her horse to the brink and shot another that sped true.

"'Lend me your bow," Vanye asked then of Roh. "If you will not use it, I will."

"Shien? No. For all the grudge you bear him-he is Hetharu's enemy, and the best of that breed."

It was already too late. The Shiua lagged back of them, out of bowshot of the arrheindim,having learned the limits of their own shafts and the deadly accuracy of the Shathana. They followed at a distance on that other side, and there was no way to reach them and no time to stop. Perrin and Vis unstrung their bows as they rode, and the arrhendimkept tight formation about Merir, scanning apprehensively the woods on their own side of the river. It was speed they sought now, which ran them hard over the river shore, with nothing but an occasional wash of brushheap to deter them.

Then Vanye chanced to look back. Smoke rose as a white plume on the Shiua side.

Perrin and Vis saw the fix of his eyes and looked, and their faces came about rigid with anger.

"Fire!" Perrin exclaimed as it were a curse, and others looked back.

"Shiua signal," said Roh. "They are telling their comrades downriver we are here."

"We have no love for large fires," Sharrn said darkly. "If they are wise, they will clear the reach of that woods before night comes on them."

Vanye looked back again, at the course of the Narn which slashed through Shathan, a gap in the armor, a highroad for Men and fire and axes… and the harlimslept, helpless by day. He saw the dark shadow of distant riders, the wink of metal in the sun. Shien had done his mischief and was following again.

Again they rested, and the horses were slicked with sweat Vanye spent his time attending this one and the other, for kindly as the arrhendimwere with their mounts, and anxious as they were to care for them, they were foresters and the horses had come from elsewhere into their hands: they had not a Kurshin's knowledge of them.

"Lord," he said at last, casting himself down before Merir, "forest is one thing; open ground is another. We must not press the last out of the horses, not when we may need it suddenly. If the Shiua have gotten into the forest on our side and press us toward the river, the horses will not have it left in them to carry us."

"I do not fear that."

"You will kill the horses," Vanye said in despair, and left off trying to advise the old lord. He departed with an absent caress of the white mare's shoulder, a touch on the offered nose, and cast himself down by Roh, head bowed against his knees.

In a few moments more they were bidden back to the saddle, but for all Merir's seeming indifference to advice, they went more slowly.

Like Morgaine,he thought bitterly, proud and stubborn.And then he thought of her, and it was like a knife moving in a wound. He rode slumped in the saddle, cast a look back once, where Shien and his men still paced them, out of range. He shook his head in despair and knew what that was for: that they were apt to meet a force on their side of the Narn up by the next crossing, and Shien meant to be there to seal them up.

Roh rode close to him, so that the horses jostled one another and he looked up. Roh urged one of the arrhendim'sjourneycakes on him. "You did not eat at the stop."

He had had no appetite, nor did now, but he knew the sense of Roh's concern, and took it and washed it down with water, though it lay like lead in his stomach. Small dark Vis rode up on his other side and offered another flask to him.

"Take," she said.

He drank, expecting fire by the smell of it, and it was, enough to make his eyes sting. He took several more swallows, and gave it back to Vis, whose dark eyes were young in her aging face, and kindly. "You grieve," she said. "We all understand, we that are khemeis,we that are arrhen.So we would grieve too." She pressed fee flask back into his hand. 'Take it. It is from my village. Perrin and I can get more."

He could not answer her; she nodded, understanding that too, and dropped behind. He hung the flask to his saddle, and then thought to offer some to Roh, which Roh accepted, and passed it back to him.

Night-shadow began to touch the sky. The sun burned over the dark rim of Shathan across the river, and from the east there was silence, no comforting whistles out of the dark woods, nothing.

They kept moving while there was still twilight to guide them, and bent into the forest itself, for a river barred their way, flowing into the Narn.

It was not a great river; quickly it dwindled until the trees that grew on its margin almost sufficed to span it.

And suddenly about them stealthy shadows moved, and a chittering warned them of harlim.

One waited on the riverside, like some large, ungainly bird standing at the water's shallow edge. It chirred at them as that kind would in perplexity, and backed when Merir would have approached it on horseback. Then it beckoned.

"We cannot go another such journey," Sharra protested. "Lord, youcannot."

"Slowly," said Merir, and turned the white mare in the direction that the creature would have them go: breast-high she waded, but the current was very weak, and all of them followed, up the other bank, into wilder places.

The harilwanted haste: they could not. The horses stumbled on stones, faltered going up the slopes of ravines. The trees were old here, and the place beneath them much overgrown with brush. Harilimmoved all about them, finding passage that the horses could not.

And suddenly there was a white shape before them in the dark, an arrhen,or like unto one, afoot and clothed in white, not forest green. His hair was loose, his whole aspect like and unlike one of the arrhendim,seeming more wraith than flesh in the starlight.

Lellin.

The youth lifted his hand. "Grandfather," he saluted Merir, softly. He came and took Merir's offered hand, reaching up to the saddle. Solid he was, yet there was a change on him, a sad quiet utterly unlike the youth they knew. "Ah, Grandfather, youshould not have come."

"Why should I not?" Merir answered him. The old lord looked frightened. "What madness has taken you? Why this look on you? Why did you not send the message you promised?"

"I had no means."

"Morgaine," Vanye said, forcing his horse past Sharrn's to Lellin. "Lellin-what of Morgaine?"

"Not far." Lellin turned and lifted his arm. "A stony hill, the other side-"

He used the spurs, broke free of them and bent low, caring nothing for their protest, for harilimwarnings. He would not bring Merir on her without warning. His horse stumbled under him, recovered; brush opposed, branches caught at him and snapped on his armor. He clung low to the saddle and the horse stayed on its feet, upslope and down, shying from this side and that as it sensed harilim.Pursuit was on his heels: the arrhendim…he heard them coming.

Suddenly there was a broad meadow in the starlight, and the low hill that Lellin had named hove up. He broke through a thin screen of young trees and rode for that place.

White figures appeared before him in the starlight, white robes, white hair flying in the wind, aglow like foxfire. He saw the shimmer, tried to rein over at the last instant and could not avoid it.

There was dark.

"Khemeis."

A touch fell on his shoulder. He heard a horse near… sensed still the numbing oppression, of Gate-force in the air.

"Khemeis."

Lellin.Coarse grass was under his hands. He strove to push himself up. Another hand reached to help him rise. He looked into Sezar's face… Sezar likewise in white such as Lellin's, neither of them armed. He cast a dazed look about him, at white-robed qhal,at the two who had once been arrhendim…one of the qhalheld the reins of his horse, which stood with legs braced as if it were still dazed.

And others… Merir, who dismounted and took his place among the qhalin white robes, a taint of gray among them. Roh was there at a distance, among the arrhendim,who grouped together as if in great fear.

"You are permitted," Lellin said, pointing toward the hill. "She sends for you. Go, now, quickly."

A moment he looked a second circuit of him, looking on the white figures, feeling the silence. His senses still swam. Gate-force worked at his nerves. He turned suddenly and went, overwhelmed with anxiety. One of them shadowed him, pointed the way that he should take up the hill, where a trail began among the trees which marched up its side. He did not run, but he wished to.

It was not a high hill, hardly more than a rocky upthrast amid the forest. At either side of him were trees aged and warped, twisted by wind or Gate-force, strange shapes in the starlight. He climbed that path carefully, his heart frozen in dread of the thing that he might find in this smothering silence.

The path bent, and she was there, a white figure like the others, as Lellin had been, standing among the rocks. Wind tugged at her white hair and her thin garments… unarmored and unarmed she was, when never willingly would she part from Changeling.

"Liyo,"he said in half a voice, and stopped… human, and feeling it mortally. He did not want to come closer and find her changed; he did not want to lose her like that.

But she came to him, and there was no difference but the clothing: the strength was there, and the recklessness. Wraith she seemed, but this wraith scrambled down from the rocks with Morgaine's energy, a hand to this side and the other to catch herself, and a hand to him at the bottom. He seized her as if she might prove illusion after all, and they flung arms about each other with the desperation of sanity returned.

She said nothing. It was long before he thought of saying anything. But then he thought of her wound, and realized how thin she was, and that he might be hurting her. He drew her aside to the rocks and gave her a place to sit, cast himself to a lower stone beside her. "You are well," he breathed.

"We saw the smoke… from here. I hoped… hoped that you were somehow the cause of that alarm. I sent word, such as the harilimcan bear. And I saw you coming… from this hill. I could not prevent them. I shouted, but in the wind, they did not hear, or heed. Lellin… Lellin found you, did he not?"

"Down near the river." His voice failed him and he rested his head against the stones at his side. "Oh Heaven, I did not know how I would find you."

"Sezar found Mai dead on the riverbank. And traces of horses about her. They searched further… but there were Shiua aswarm in that area and they had to come. back. What happened?"

"Trouble enough." He reached for her hand, held it tightly, to assure himself she was solid and with him. "What of you? What are these folk? What are we amid here?"

"Arrha.Keepers of Nehmin, among other things. They are dangerous. But without them I would not have survived, whatever else we have to do one with the other."

"Are you free?"

"That is a question yet to be tried. There is nowhere to go from here. Three nights ago the marshlanders tried our defenses. They are still out there. We held them then. Lellin… Sezar… the arrha.I have tried to stay back from it, to avoid having them know me… but then I could not. Even so it was close."

A host of questions pressed on him. He felt her hand, how thin and fragile it had become. "Are you all right? Your wound-"

She moved her hand to her hip, where the leg joined. "Mending. The arrhaare skilled healers. It was a bad one. I came close enough to dying. I do not remember the last of that ride, but that Lellin and Sezar knew where they were going… or thought they did. And the arrha…let us pass."

"If you had not stayed ahorse…" He did not finish the thought, sickened by it.

"Aye. I had the same thought for you. But you reached Merir after all. And yet you sent me no message."

He was confused for a moment, realizing then how she had misconstructed things. "Would my course had been that direct," he said, and a sudden fear possessed him, reluctance to admit what had happened… most of all to have her know he had been in the enemy's hands. Gate-force could change men: Roh was proof enough of that; and he recalled a time when she would have killed out of hand for any such doubt of a companion. "Forgive me," he said. "I have used allies in getting here that you will curse me for taxing. And Merir knows both what you hold and what you have come to do… what wecame to do. Forgive me. I trust too easily."

She was silent a moment. Fear touched her eyes. "The arrhaknow both by now, then."

"There is more, liyo.One of the men out there is Roh."

She drew back.

"I have been to the Gate and back again," he said hoarsely, refusing to let her go. "Liyo,on my soul, I had no choice; and I would not be here but for Roh."

"What of an oath you swore? What of that? You were not to let him live. And you have brought him to me?"

"He has helped us both. He asked only to see you; that was his condition. I warned him… I confess that I warned him and tried to persuade him to run. But he would come. He has run out of friends. And without him-. Will you not hear him?"

She looked down. "Come with me," she said, and rose, still with her hand in his. He rose and walked with her among the rocks, down the other slope of the hill, by yet another trail. "Our camp is here," she said as they walked. "Extraordinary dispensation: no axe touches Nehmin… but the arrhabrought wood from the outside, and built this for us. In some regards they have been more than kind."

A wooden shelter was almost hidden among the tall trees; a ghostly horse grazed beside it… Siptah. He recognized the gray Baien stud with a pang of relief, for Morgaine loved that horse, and had she lost him, she would have grieved . .. as much, he thought, as she might for him, for the gray horse had come with her farther and longer. Two other horses grazed slightly apart: Lellin's and Sezar's, one conspicuous for its white stockings. All of them looked sleek and well-cared for.

"Roh," she murmured as they descended toward the shelter. "The arrhameant to hold all of you from me at least overnight, to ask their own questions, I do not doubt. But they understand the bond of khemeisand arrhen,and when I accused them of harming you, they let you come, out of shame, I suppose. Roh's presence… that concerns me. I would not have him giving witness of me."

"We might try to break out of here."

She shook her head. "I fear our choice is in the Shiua's hands. They are on two sides of us at least." She drew back the curtain of the shelter, gray gauze like the harilim'sveils, like old moss, many layered. It swung against his face as he entered, and he did not like the feel of it.

Morgaine bent and touched a reed to a brazier of coals and transferred that tiny flame to a single-wicked lamp, so that a dim light surrounded them. "The harilimdo not like fire," she said. "But we are very careful. Drop the curtain. Shed the armor. No enemies can come at us here without a great deal of trouble, and as for the arrha…they are of a different sort. I will find out what we have about here to eat."

He stood motionless in the center of the small shelter as she searched through the collection of jars in the corner. There was Siptah's harness, and that of Lellin's and Sezar's horses; there were three pallets, with gray gauze veils dividing one off for privacy; Morgaine's armor, laid neatly in the corner; and Changeling…as if it were only another sword, leaned by it. Even to have walked up to the hilltop without that fell thing was something incredible in her… a dulling of cautions by which she had survived. There was after all a change about her, something alien and distant. In this place of familiar things… she was the difference. He watched her in the dim light, slender and delicate as the qhalin the white garments… and her features when she looked up at him: the tautness of pain had been there recently. So close,he thought with sudden anguish, so very close to losing her; perhaps that is the mark on her.

"Vanye?"

He reached for the straps of his armor, worked at them clumsily, managed them. She helped him pull it off, received the two-stone weight of mail into her hands and laid it aside. He unlaced the haqueton and shed it, sank down onto the mat with a sigh. Then she gave him water to drink, and bread and cheese of which he could eat only a few bites. He was more content simply to lean against the support of the shelter and rest. It was warm; she was there. It was for the moment, enough.

"Do not worry about the others," she said. "Lellin and Sezar will give warning if anything threatens us, and the arrharefuse to lay hand on them or me. -Oh, it is good to see thee, Vanye."

"Aye," he murmured, for his voice was too taut to say more.

She sat on the mat beside the brazier, locked her hands about one knee. A moment she gazed at him, as if taking in small details. "You have been hurt."

"It passes."

"Your fall out there-"

"I rode into that blind." He grimaced. "I thought to warn you… of my company."

"You succeeded." Her face grew the more concerned, deeply distressed. "Vanye. Will thee tell me what happened?"

"Roh, you mean."

"Roh.. And whatever else thee thinks good for me to know."

He glanced down, up again. "I have gone against your orders. I know that. I could not kill him. I confess to you… it has not been the first time. I agreed with him that I would speak to you… he asked nothing more, not even that much, but I told him that I would; I owed him. He is out of allies, out of hope, except to come here."

"And you believe him."

"Yes. In that-I do believe him."

Her hands clenched on her knee until the knuckles were white. "And what do you expect me to do?"

"I do not know. I do not know, liyo."He made the profound obeisance, which gesture she ordinarily hated, but the time demanded it. "I told him that I would speak with you. Will you let me do so, and hear me? I set my word on that."

"Do not hope that it will make any difference. My choices are not governed by what I would or you would."

"All I ask is a hearing. It is not easy to explain. In any sense, it is not easy. And I have asked few things of you, ever."

"Aye," she said softly, drew a long breath and let it go. "I will listen. I will at least listen."

"For long?"

"As long as you wish. Til the sun rises, if that is what you want of me."

He bowed his head against his hands a moment, gathering his thoughts. Nothing would make sense except from the beginning… and there he began, far off the matter of Roh. She looked perplexed at that… but she listened as she had said she would do; her gray eyes lost their anger and bore only on what he haltingly told her: things of himself, and his home, small things that she had not known of him, some of which were agony to tell… what it was for a half-Chya lad in Morija, what constant war Nhi and Chya had known, and how he came to be a Nhi lord's bastard. And there were things even of times that they had travelled together, things which he had seen and she had not… of Liell; and Roh; of the night they had spent in Roh's hall at Ra-koris; and another with him in the woods near Ivrel, when she had slept; or in Ohtij-in of Shiuan, unknown to her. He watched understanding flicker into sometime anger, and puzzlement return; she said nothing.

And he told her the rest: Fwar, and Hetharu's camp; and Merir's; and their way here. He spared nothing, least of all his pride; at the last he did not look at her, but elsewhere, close to choking on the words… for half of him was Nhi, and Nhi were proud, and not given to such admissions as he made.

Her hands were clenched when he had done. She loosed them after a moment, as if she had only then realized it. It was a moment before she looked up.

"Some things I would that I had known at the time."

"Aye, and some things I would that you did not know now."

"Nothing that you have told me troubles me, not on your account. Only Roh… Roh.I did not reckon on that. I swear that I did not."

"You saw him. But-but perhaps-I do not know, liyo."

"It cannot make any difference. It changes nothing."

"Liyo."

"Iwarned you it could not make any difference… Roh or Liell; no difference."

"But Roh-"

"Let me alone a time. Please."

His control came close to breaking. He had said too much, too painful things, and she shrugged them off with that. "Aye," he said thickly, and thrust his way to his feet, seeking the cold, sane air outside. But she rose and prevented him with a grip on his wrist. He would hurt her if he struck out in his anger; he stood still, and the tears broke his control. He averted his face from her.

"Think of something," she hissed fiercely. "Thinkof something that I can do with this gift you have brought me."

He could not. "His word you would never take. And that is all there is… his word, and my faith that it is worth something. And that is nothing to you."

"You are unfair."

"I make no complaint of you."

"Keep him prisoner? He knows too much… more than you, more perhaps than Merir… in some things more than I, perhaps. I cannot trust that much knowledge .. . not with Liell's instincts."

"At times… at times, I think there is only Roh. He said the other was only in dreams; and perhaps the dreams are stronger than he is when there is nothing near him that Roh remembers. He says that he needs me. -But I have no knowledge of such things. I only guess. Perhaps I am the one who forced him to come here to you, because when he is with me… he is my cousin. I only guess."

"Perhaps," she said after a moment, "your instinct in that guess is not so far amiss."

There was a clutching pain in him. He turned and looked at her, looked into her gray eyes, the face that was utterly qhalur."Roh has said… again and again… that you know all these things very well-and by your own experience."

She said nothing, but stepped back from him. He did not mean to let it go this time.

"I do not know," she whispered at last. "I do notknow."

"He says that you are what he is. I am asking you, liyo. Iam only ilin;you can tell me never to ask; and the oath I took to you does not question what you are. But Iwant to know. Iwant to know."

"I do not think you do."

"You said that you were not qhal.But how do I go on believing that? You said that you had never done what Liell has done. But," he added in a still voice difficult to force against the distrust in her eyes, "if you are not qhal-liyo,are you not then the other?"

"You are saying that I have lied to you."

"How can you have told me the truth? liyo,a little lie, even a kindly lie at the time… I could understand why. If you had told me you were the devil, I could not free myself of the oath I had given you. Perhaps you mean it for kindness in that hour. It was. But after so long, so many things-for my peace-"

"Would it give you peace?"

"To understand you-yes. It would. In many ways."

The gray eyes shimmered, pained. She offered her hand to his, palm up; he closed his over it, tightly, a manner of pledge, and he marked even in doing so that her fingers were long and the hand narrow. 'Truth," she said faintly. "I am what Hetharu is: halfling. A place long ago and far from Andur-Kursh… closed now, lost, no matter. The catastrophe did not come only on the qhal;they were not the only ones swept up. There were their ancestors, who made the Gates." She laughed, a lost and bitter laugh. "You do not understand. But as the Shiua are out of my past, I am out of theirs. It is paradox. The Gate-worlds are full of that. Can what I have told you give you peace?"

Fear was in her look… anxiety, he realized numbly, for hisopinion, as if she needed regard it. He half understood the other things, the madness that was time within gates. That anything could be older than the qhal… he could not grasp such age. But he had hurt her, and he could not bear to have done that. He let go her fingers, caught her face between his hands and set a kiss beside her lips, the only affirmation of trust he knew how to give. He had believed her a liar, had accused her, assuming so, so surely that he could dimiss such a lie and forgive, understanding her.

And he did not. A pit opened at his feet, to take in all his understanding.

"Well," she said, "at least thee is still here."

He nodded, knowing nothing to say.

"Thee surprises me sometimes, Vanye."

And when he still found no answer, she shook her head and turned away across the little shelter, her arms folded tightly, her head bowed. "Of course you came to that conclusion; there was nothing else you could think. Doubtless Roh himself believes it. And for whatever small damage it could do-Vanye, I beg you keep it to your knowledge, no one else's. I am not qhal.But what I am no longer has any meaning, not in this age. Not in Shathan. It no longer matters."

"Liyo-"

"I would not have you believing that I knew Roh's nature. I would not have you thinking I sent you against him, knowing that. I did not. I did not,Vanye."

"Now you have rne between two oaths. Oh Heaven, liyo.I was thinking of Roh's life, and now I am afraid of winning it. I do not… I swear I do not try to pull against your good sense. I do not want that. Liyo,protect yourself. I should never have questioned you; this is not how I would have persuaded you. Do not listen to me."

"I know my own mind. Do not shoulder everything." She tossed her head back, thin-lipped, and looked at him. "This is Nehmin. Yon will see it as I have seen it; I am not anxious to spill blood in this place. We are far from Andur-Kursh… far from every grudge it had… and I pity him. I pity him, even as Liell-though that is harder: I knew his victims. Give me time to think. Go to sleep a while. Please. There is at least something of the night left, and you look so tired."

"Aye," he agreed, though it was less for weariness than that he would not dispute her, not now.

She gave him the mat by the east wall, her own. He lay down there with no real desire of sleep; but the ease it gave sent a sudden heaviness on him, so that he cared not evento move. She drew the blanket farther, over him, and sat on the mat beside him, leaned there against the post, her hand over his. He shivered for no reason-if he had taken a chill he was too numb to feel it. He let his breath go, flexed his fingers against hers, enclosed them.

Then he slept, a hard, swift darkness.