Fighting with fire

CHAPTER FIVE

Lady Luck caught up with them on the ship later that evening and told Lex the penalty round was that he must retrieve one of the giant mountain eagle’s golden eggs from one of their mountain nests: difficult and dangerous for most normal people, but not too much of a problem for Lex because the fact that he had a magic flying ship meant that he could start right at the top of the mountain rather than climbing up it by foot. Clearly Thaddeus and Kala either didn’t know about his ship or they’d forgotten it. Without it, it would have taken Lex days? possibly weeks? to get to the top, and by that time he would have missed the start of the Game. No doubt, that was what they’d intended.

But, as it was, he was not overly worried about the penalty round. After all, it wasn’t even a race between him and the other competitors this time, it was just a question of completing the task, and Lex had complete confidence in his own capabilities. He’d get that blasted egg, he’d jump through hoops if they wanted him to, and it would only make his eventual glory and triumph all the sweeter…

Lex and Lady Luck were sitting in the squishy armchairs on the bridge. Jesse was there, too, sprawled on the floor with his back against the wall because he said he found it more comfortable than sitting in the chairs or perching on the window seat. To Lex’s irritation, Silvi? the female griffin? had settled herself down next to Jesse and was currently sleeping with her head on his lap.

‘You do realise she’s dribbling on you, right?’ Lex said, hoping that the cowboy would push Silvi away and that she’d then go over to him instead.

But Jesse just gave a lazy shrug. Lex hated it when Silvi dribbled on him but that was because he was an absolute stickler for cleanliness whereas Jesse did not seem at all bothered. After all, he was a rough-and-ready cowboy, sorely in need of a shave and a haircut, so what was a bit of griffin drool to a person like that?

When he first sat down, Jesse had lit up a thin, vile-smelling cigarette but Lex ordered him to put it out, on principle. If Lex was going to learn how to be a cowboy then he was going to have to get used to the disgusting scent and taste of tobacco but he was damned if he was going to allow his bridge to smell like an ashtray.

‘You smoke outside or not at all,’ he told Jesse sternly, whereupon Lady Luck had simpered that she’d always liked a man with a cigar.

‘It’s not a cigar! It’s a weedy cigarette; a disgusting habit and a mark of gross stupidity! Don’t you know those things kill you?’ Lex demanded.

But Jesse just said, ‘We all gotta go sometime, partner.’

Lex felt his lip curl in derision at the obtuseness of that statement. It was a sign of an amateur not to think things through and Jesse’s remark clearly showed that he didn’t know what the heck he was talking about. Lex knew everyone had to die sometime, but he did not particularly fancy dying slowly from some Gods-awful disease of the lungs, coughing and spluttering in agony all day and night, wishing to the Gods that he’d smoked a few less cigarettes and done a bit more exercise. Lex loved reckless adventuring so much that he was absolutely determined to continue it for as many years as possible. There was therefore no way on earth that he was smoking so much as one single cigarette, not even to achieve the scam of convincing other cowboys that he was one of them. He would find some way around it. He would find some way to cheat. He wasn’t going to poison his own lungs for anyone or anything.

‘Well, I’d better be off,’ Lady Luck said once the penalty round had been explained. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow, Lex.’

She stood up but, before she could leave, Lex said, ‘Is there anything else I need to know? About the Game, I mean? Seeing as I missed most of the feast.’

‘Oh, no, dear. You’ve done it all before; you know what to do.’

Jesse looked up. ‘Er… some things are gonna be different this time round though, ain’t they?’

‘What do you mean?’ Lex asked sharply.

‘There were some new rules announced at the feast.’

‘Oh, yes,’ Lady Luck said. ‘So there were. Dear me, how silly to forget that.’

She sat back down in the armchair and started fussing, rearranging her long white skirts whilst Lex resisted the urge to throttle her. New rules! New rules and they’d only thought to mention them to him now! If it hadn’t been for the cowboy he wouldn’t have found out at all!

‘Tell me everything,’ he said. ‘That’s if you think you can remember it all correctly.’

The Goddess pouted and said, ‘Don’t be churlish, Lex. I must say I’m starting to tire a bit of all this sulking. You were so excited and delighted when I told you there was going to be another Game and I thought we were going to have such fun together, just like we did last time.’ She almost looked tearful for a moment and Lex was just experiencing a faint flicker of guilt when she suddenly turned cold and said in rather a vicious voice, ‘I most certainly can remember the new rules if you think you can sit still and listen to them without interrupting me!’

Lex nodded, accepting the dressing-down meekly because it didn’t do to upset any of the Gods too much, even his own.

‘Right then,’ Lady Luck said? the angry look instantly gone from her face and replaced with a pleasant smile. She plucked at her skirts and patted her mass of blond hair, checking that the strings of pearls threaded through it were all in place. Then she lifted her head and said, ‘After the last Game and your spectacular victory there was a lot of renewed interest in the Games not just for gambling purposes but for the sake of pure entertainment. You simply wowed everyone with what you achieved last time, my dear.’

Lex usually lapped up praise but even this didn’t make him feel much better as he recalled how people had been pointing and sniggering at him back in the Wither City. They may have loved him for a while but fame was a fickle thing and it seemed quite clear that everyone was absolutely determined to transfer the adoration they’d once had for Lex on to Jeremiah East for no other reason than that he looked the part and had a famous grandfather. Sometimes it just seemed like there was no justice in the world at all.

‘So this time,’ Lady Luck went on, ‘we have changed things a little and added a few extra rules, just to spice it up and make things more interesting.’

Lex thought it had already been pretty interesting, what with the constant mortal peril and threat of a sticky, messy death, but he listened intently to what her Ladyship was saying, anyway. Change was always a good thing for Lex because it gave him an advantage in that he adapted very quickly to it? much quicker than most people did, in fact. So the more different it was, the better, because Lex could embrace change whilst everyone else got thrown by it. It was just like when he’d been at school and always preferred unscheduled closed-book exams because, whilst his classmates had been twiddling with their pens, desperately trying to remember a few pertinent facts, Lex had been scribbling away, reading from the library in his head, for he could remember practically every word he’d read.

‘The basic structure will be the same,’ Lady Luck said. ‘There will still be three rounds, each one chosen by a different participating God. But this time the dates and locations of the rounds were announced in advance at the feast. This was so that people could start getting excited about it but also so that they’re better able to book time off work. We want as many spectators as possible, after all-’

‘Hang on,’ Lex interrupted. ‘Are you saying that everyone already knows where the rounds of this Game are going to be?’ He bit his tongue to keep from adding? ‘Everyone but me?’

‘Yes, dear. They don’t know exactly, of course, that would ruin the fun. But they know the rough area. Kala is up first. Her round is to be at the Sea Volcanoes. Thaddeus’s round will be on one of the Lost Islands. And mine will be at Dry Gulch.’ The Lady patted down her dress absent-mindedly and said, ‘I think I have a spare copy of the itinerary in here somewhere… Yes; here it is.’

She pulled a crumpled piece of paper out from the front of her dress and handed it to Lex, who just about managed not to grimace. ‘What else do you keep down there?’ he asked.

The Goddess rolled her eyes and said, ‘You’ll find the dates written down on that. The rounds are each a week apart? we thought it would be easier for the spectators to get days off from work that way? so you’ll have a bit of time in between and there are inn rooms booked for each of you at every location to make use of or not as you like, but I thought you’d probably just choose to stay on the boat.’

‘I will,’ Lex replied. ‘Everywhere but Dry Gulch. I want to stay in Dry Gulch House the week before the third round.’

‘Don’t be silly, dear,’ Lady Luck laughed. ‘Only cowboys are allowed to stay there. Surely you know that? There are enough stories told about the place, after all.’

‘Exactly. Jesse’s going to teach me how to pass myself off as a cowboy so that I can look for the Sword of Life.’

‘Oh, I see,’ the Goddess replied, sounding unsurprised. ‘Well, if anyone can find it, dear, it’s you.’

‘Right.’ Lex pocketed the itinerary, intending to examine it more closely later, and said, ‘Well, what other new rules are there?’

‘We’ve altered the way the points’ system works slightly,’ Lady Luck replied. ‘Now you don’t just get points for winning the round? you can also get hero points, too.’

‘What are they?’ Lex asked suspiciously, remembering how Jeremiah had mentioned hero points to him back at the Wither City.

‘We’re trying to decrease the death rate a little, you see,’ Lady Luck replied. ‘It ruins the Game a bit if too many people perish in the first or second round. It doesn’t make the last round so exciting if the players aren’t all there. So, starting from this Game, if you see another player in mortal peril during the course of a round and you save their lives rather than leaving them to die, you’ll be awarded hero points, which will contribute to your overall score. Ditto if you perform some particularly noble or self-sacrificing or just generally heroic act during the round.’

Lex pulled a face. He didn’t like the sound of that one bit. ‘But wouldn’t that mean that someone? say me? could win the round but end up with the same number of points as someone who didn’t win, just because they happened to perform a few so-called heroic deeds?’

‘Well, theoretically, I suppose,’ Lady Luck replied. ‘The hero points don’t apply to your companions though. Otherwise we could be in a situation where the player was constantly saving their own companion in a contrived manner and being awarded points for it. So the hero points only apply between players.’

‘Are there any other new rules?’ Lex asked, hoping that there weren’t, for he didn’t much care for the ones he’d learned about so far.

‘I don’t think so, dear. Do you remember any other new rules, Jesse?’ she asked the cowboy.

Jesse shook his head. ‘Can’t say that I do, ma’am.’

‘No, I think we’ve covered everything, Lex. Now I really must go. You need to get a good night’s sleep before the penalty round tomorrow.’

So the Goddess took her leave and Jesse went down to the hold below to sleep with Rusty. Silvi looked like she was thinking of following him but Lex called her back. She was his griffin after all and he was used to her sleeping on his bed. During the course of the last Game he had shared this room with Lucius and Mr Schmidt and it would have seemed quite lonely there all by himself without the griffin.

Lex got into bed and Silvi curled up next to him. Lex lay awake for a while, stroking her feathers and thinking about the upcoming Game. He’d had rather an undignified start, it was true, but the Game itself would be glorious. He was quite sure in his mind about that..

The next day, Lex completed the penalty task fairly easily with only the minor hiccup of almost falling to his death. Fortunately, the black griffin, Monty, saved him just in time and Lex completed the task all in one piece and with the golden egg that was his ticket back into the Game. The ship then set sail for the Sea Volcanoes where the first round was to take place? right at the very edge of the world.

When the first Adventurers started exploring a hundred years or so ago with their Chroniclers, many did not come back. There were countless theories as to why this was the case. Some believed that they got lost; others thought the Adventurers settled in new, tropical lands full of lush greenery and beautiful, half-naked women serving them coconut milk all day long; and some believed that they simply got eaten by sea monsters.

It was only later they suspected that most of the missing Adventurers had inadvertently sailed right over the edge of the world. The evidence for this was the sudden appearance of the Sea Volcanoes. They towered up out of the ocean and, like icebergs, there was even more of them beneath the surface. They were situated right at the very edge of the world, keeping the water in. And all along their base, down on the seabed, were the wrecks of thirty or forty sunken ships.

But the strange thing was that the ancient maps had no record of the Sea Volcanoes, and some Adventurers swore that they’d been in that area before? almost close enough to see the Edge itself? but that the volcanoes hadn’t been there then. There was no official explanation but it was widely believed that the Gods had put the volcanoes there later because of the fact that the location and the currents in this particular area meant ships were susceptible to sailing right over the Edge and the Gods wanted to put a stop to it. It wasn’t difficult to believe. After all, the Gods did live in the Lands Beneath and anyone would start getting a bit fed up after the twentieth ship came crashing down from the Lands Above, breaking things and cluttering up the landscape. If any ship were to get near to the Edge now, it would just be smashed against the volcanoes and sink to the seabed.

The Sea Volcanoes were a striking, majestic sight, rising up out of the water like noble guardians of the ocean and the men who sailed it. What made the sight particularly rewarding as Lex’s enchanted ship approached it was that Saydi’s sun was in the sky that day. As the Goddess of Beauty, Saydi’s sun made the air sweet and fresh, and brought loveliness to the landscape whether it was sunny or rainy.

Today, Saydi had cooled the rays of her sun enough that star-sleet fell softly from the sky. This was a special kind of sleet that only Saydi could produce. It sparkled silver like the stars, twinkling and shimmering as it fell, until finally it faded away like a dying glow-worm. It did not leave the skin wet, for it would not do for people to be uncomfortable and thus less able to appreciate Saydi’s beautiful handiwork. So, although Lex stood at the prow of his ship surrounded by falling star-sleet, he was not wet. The sleet broke apart when it touched his skin, fading away and leaving behind nothing more than a faint tingling. But the sleet did not disappear when it touched the cold volcanoes and they currently looked like they were covered in a silver, sparkling coat of star-frost.

It was breathtakingly lovely, complemented by the calm dolphin-grey sea and the two-tone sky. It was bright blue where Lex had come from but, as they got nearer to the Edge, it became darker until it was a sort of velvet navy colour on this side of the Sea Volcanoes, melting into star-spangled black beyond them where the sky gave way to space.

There was even a cafe built on stilts at the base of the volcanoes. After all, when a mysterious volcano range suddenly appears on the landscape and may erupt at any moment, what could be more natural than to build a cafe right there beside it? Actually, it only served tea and scones, so it was more of a teashop, really, than a cafe. And a ridiculously overpriced teashop at that. But why not? The Sea Volcanoes were, quite literally, at the edge of the world, which meant that only the very rich could come here. Lex knew the type: men with monocles and women who thought nothing said sophistication quite like a hat piled high with fruit.

There was a little pier at the cafe only big enough for about four or five boats. One large tourist boat was moored there already but Lex could see no sign of Jeremiah’s boat, or Lorella’s? assuming that she was even coming by boat.

Ha, he thought smugly to himself, even with the penalty round slowing him down he was still the first one here!

He was early, in fact. The round wasn’t due to start until twelve noon and it was only just gone eleven o’clock. But it never hurt to scope out the surrounding area a bit first. Lady Luck had told him that the Sea Volcano teashop would be charging more than double what it usually charged because, today, its patrons would be having the honour of witnessing part of the Game first hand, and that was quite something even if it didn’t extend past seeing the players turn up.

There were a lot of posh-looking people currently on the teashop’s veranda, sitting at the tables with their scones and tea, or else standing at the railings, gawking at Lex’s beautiful enchanted ship as it approached. Lex manoeuvred it into the pier and was gratified to see that all the toffs were on their feet by then, applauding him from the veranda. At least they were clapping this time rather than laughing. It boosted Lex’s confidence a little and almost made him think better of what he was about to do. Almost. When the ship came to a halt he gave them a sweeping bow and a wave before disappearing back inside. The ship was huge and he was confident that no one down on the pier would have seen his face too clearly from that distance, which was good because he wanted to have a little wander about down there without people being all over him.

He went down to the enchanter’s wardrobe. When he’d first acquired the ship, the wardrobe had mostly been full of the tall, pointed hats the enchanters favoured, which had been very useful to Lex because it transpired that enchanters kept some of their magic in their hats, which meant that, when Lex put one on, he could perform a bit of magic, too. Of course, human minds weren’t built for magic and Lex put himself in terrible danger each time he used it. There had been a couple of rather horrible side effects and talk of brain haemorrhages and unpleasant things like that.

Lex had therefore faithfully promised his brother, Lucius, that, no matter what happened during the course of this new Game, he would never put an enchanter’s hat on again. Lex hadn’t exactly been lying when he’d said that… but he’d only half meant it. He certainly meant to avoid the hats if he could help it but… if the situation was really desperate, to the point that he didn’t have anything to lose by trying, well, he certainly wasn’t going to rule the possibility out completely.

Unfortunately, it seemed that Lucius had somehow sensed this proviso in his brother’s promise and, one night shortly before he left, Lex had woken up at about three o’clock in the morning to the sight of a huge fire flickering through his bedroom window. His first thought was that the fire-breathing rabbit he’d inadvertently let off the enchanter’s ship was now back. He leapt out of bed, dragged on some trousers and was still doing them up as he ran out into the house, screaming for Lucius and Zachary.

‘Wake up! Wake up! It’s back! The fire-breathing rabbit is back; the barn’s on fire!’

He ran out of the house with Zachary moments behind him only to find that Lucius was already there. And it was not the barn that was on fire. It was a big bonfire of twenty or thirty enchanter’s hats, now blackened, shrivelled and ruined.

Lex stared at the bonfire in silent, speechless horror for a long moment, vaguely aware of Zachary stomping into the house, back to his bed. Then he turned to stare at his twin who stood there with his arms folded and a grimly determined expression on his face.

‘What have you done?’ Lex croaked. ‘What have you done, you idiot?’

‘I knew it!’ Lucius replied, actually having the audacity to look hurt. ‘I knew you hadn’t meant what you said when you made that promise! That’s why I knew I had to get rid of the hats.’

‘You… you…’ For once in his life, Lex could hardly find the words to express himself. It wasn’t just that one of the most rare and powerful magical advantages he had was now lost, it was the fact that Lucius had taken it upon himself to go into Lex’s ship and destroy Lex’s things.

‘Those hats saved your life!’ he fumed, pointing at the smoking, blazing bonfire. ‘When you were sent down to the Lands Beneath, do you think in a million years that I would ever have been able to get you out if I hadn’t had one of those to get me there in the first place?’

‘You got yourself there but Lady Luck got us out,’ Lucius said, raising his chin stubbornly. ‘If you’d used that hat a second time you’d have killed yourself. I know you, Lex. Your definition of an emergency would have been losing a round. You wouldn’t have kept the hats just for matters of life or death. You’re more likely to kill yourself with those hats than you are to save yourself. That’s why I’m getting rid of them. Hate me if you like; I don’t care. You’re the only family I’ve got left and it’s bad enough that you’re playing in another one of those awful Games at all. I’m helping you.’

Lex looked at his brother, firelight flickering over a face that was identical to his own despite the fact that the person behind it was so different. How could Lucius not understand? How could he not appreciate how important it was to win? How could the thought of losing to someone else not make him feel positively panic-stricken?

Lex was strongly tempted, in that moment, to hit his brother for the first time in his life. But he clenched his fists and resisted the urge, contenting himself instead with snarling in a vicious tone, ‘Next time you “help me” I promise you’ll regret it! I won’t forget this, Lucius! Never!’

And, exercising an impressive amount of self-control, Lex turned on his heel and stalked back into the house without slapping Lucius, or shoving him, or scratching his eyes out, or anything.

So there were no longer any enchanted hats in the wardrobe on the ship. Lex nurtured some faint hope that one might turn up elsewhere at some point, for there were plenty of rooms he had not gone into yet and you never knew what might suddenly appear on this ship. But for now at least, he had a total lack of magic hats. He did, however, have a lot of different disguises in the wardrobe. He’d purchased them before he left because, as any thief or con man knows, disguises are very important. Not to mention ridiculously fun.

Lex picked out the Trent Lexington costume? a character first created when he’d been a relative newbie at robbing and scamming, and was practising pickpocketing in the Gaming stadiums. He’d realised that people were much less likely to suspect you were a petty thief if you looked like a posh twit. The costume therefore consisted of a daft-looking frock coat (with tails and everything), fine black trousers, a white shirt and cravat, a top hat, a pair of gloves and? most importantly of all? a stick with a shiny gold knob at the end. Oh, and a monocle. Lex had added the monocle only recently because he thought it might help with disguising his face if anyone were to think that he looked familiar. For starters, it magnified his right eye in rather a startling way whilst at the same time forcing him to squint with his left. Lex was extremely pleased with the effect because, as well as disguising his face, it also helped give him the sort of pained, constipated expression that one rather expected to see on a spoilt young nobleman.

Lex was just admiring his reflection in the mirror when Jesse wandered into the room and visibly jumped at the sight of him. Then he realised it was only Lex and a smile crept over the cowboy’s face as he crossed his arms in front of his chest and leaned against the doorframe. ‘And just where are you going in that get-up?’ he asked, eyebrow raised.

‘Just to have a little mingle in the teashop,’ Lex replied with a shrug. ‘You can stay here on the boat.’ Jesse looked like showing signs of protest but Lex cut him off before he could do so: ‘I’ll bring you back a scone. There’s no need for you to come; you’d stick out like a sore thumb and I want to blend in.’

Jesse shrugged. ‘All righty. Guess I’ll just hang out here with the griffins then.’

‘Yes.’ Lex nodded. ‘I’ll see you later.’

He walked out of the room and downstairs. He’d been a little worried that getting off the ship without being seen might pose a problem but it seemed it would not be too difficult because the toffs had all gone back to their tea after the ship had docked and they’d realised that it wasn’t going to be doing anything exciting for the time being. If there’s one thing you can absolutely rely upon remaining the same, it’s the love rich people have for their crumpets and scones.

Just to be on the safe side, anyway, Lex opened the door on the side of the ship that faced away from the teashop. From there he was able to jump on to the tourist boat docked alongside and walk off its gangplank on to the harbour. If anyone saw him alighting from the boat they would merely think he was a young lord who had been taking a nap and no one had bothered to wake him up when they arrived. He plastered a miffed expression onto his face and then stalked on to the veranda, immediately adapting his Trent Lexington walk and mannerisms, head held so loftily high that he was practically viewing the scene through his nostrils. It had taken him a fair amount of practice to walk like that without losing his hat, for it had a tendency to topple off his head when he stuck his nose in the air, but he had mastered the knack eventually.

‘Ai simply can’t believe that you didn’t wake me up, Mama!’ Lex exclaimed in a loud, snotty voice to no one in particular as he walked through the veranda, thus creating the distinct impression that he was part of some unfortunate family there. Then he opened the door into the tearoom, walked in and said loudly to the room in general, ‘Ai say! Are you still serving elevenses or aren’t you?’

‘We are, sir-’ the server began but Lex cut him off.

‘Well, what does a fellow have to do to get some crumpets around heyah? Do you think this is acceptable?’

‘If you’d just place your order with me, sir, I will gladly-’

‘Oh, very well, very well,’ Lex said irritably, as if placing his order was a great inconvenience to him. ‘Ai want a pot of tea. And ai want crumpets.’

‘Butter or jam with the crumpets, sir?’

Lex turned his head, looked directly at the server? who was not much older than he was? and affected an expression of utter horror. ‘Do people really eat jam with crumpets nowadays?’ he asked as if it was the most disgusting thing he’d ever heard of. ‘My heavens, you’ll be asking me if I want ham with crumpets next, I shouldn’t wonder. Butter, boy! I want butter, naturally.’

‘I’m very sorry, sir,’ the server replied, completely unaffected by Lex’s tantrum, thus proving that he must have worked at the Sea Volcanoes teashop a while now and so was accustomed to rudeness. ‘Would you like milk with your tea, sir?’

‘Yaas, naturally.’

‘I’ll bring it right out to you as soon as it’s ready.’

‘Very well.’

Lex turned and walked back to the door, managing to collide with someone who was coming through it from the other side. It was a woman with a silly hat and an expression that indicated she’d just been drinking cups of vinegar outside rather than tea. She also looked rather like she might have been crying in the not-too-distant past.

‘Watch where you’re going, young man, really!’ she said huffily.

‘Ai’m very sorry, madam,’ Lex apologised in his best sulky voice. As he walked out to the veranda he could hear the woman berating the server for the fact that there hadn’t been enough butter on her crumpets. He grinned inwardly at the heavy weight of her purse, now stowed away inside his pocket.

He’d wanted to come to the teashop partly because it seemed rather a shame to come all the way to the Sea Volcanoes and not sample crumpets at its famous teashop (even if he did have to wait until he was back on the ship with Jesse before he could enjoy them), but mostly he’d wanted to come for a little sport. Lex had moved on from petty pickpocketing. His crimes were more sophisticated than that now. But he still liked to keep his hand in every once in a while, just to reassure himself that he hadn’t forgotten how. Of course, this was hardly a sensible time for thieving right when the Game was about to begin and he’d been in prison and threatened with disqualification once already. But a teashop just stuffed full of toffs like this… Well, expecting Lex not to try to rob them would be like expecting a wolf not to go after a paddock full of fat, stupid sheep who were all bleating at it in a distinctly taunting sort of way.

The veranda commanded a spectacular view of the Sea Volcanoes rising up out of the water and there were twisting black rails all the way around the perimeter to stop rich fools from walking straight into the sea. The tables were placed at a spacious distance from one another and covered in crisp, spotless white tablecloths on which stood silver teapots and plates of scones and crumpets.

Lex surreptitiously eyed the tables, chose a likely looking one with only two men already seated, walked up to it and sat down before saying, ‘Do you mind if ai sit here? Ai’m waiting for my elevenses but ai’m afraid ai’ve just had the most devilishly trying time of it with that fool server in there.’

‘It’s like I was just saying, isn’t it, Forsythe?’ boomed the man to Lex’s right. ‘You can’t get the staff these days.’

‘You’re quite right, Easty, quite right.’

‘Easty?’ Lex blurted, looking up sharply. ‘Are you, by any chance-?’

‘That’s right. Humphrey East. My boy, Jeremiah is playing in the Game,’ the man said, practically swelling with pride where he sat.

Lex had to force himself not to goggle at him in sheer disbelief. Now that he looked at him more closely, he could see that there was a slight resemblance. They both had the same dark hair and haughty look, although Jeremiah’s father was getting on for being a bit on the rotund side? too many hours spent lounging in fine armchairs, enjoying expensive brandy, had ruined what had probably once been an impressive figure. Lex supposed it made sense that Jeremiah’s father would be here at the commencement of the first round. After all, the Easts obviously had more money than sense and so could easily afford to shell out for this little tea party in order to gloat over the first-born son. And if Lex couldn’t find some way to turn this to his advantage, then he wasn’t half the talented cheat he thought he was.

‘Mey name is Trent Lexington III? of the Galswick Lexingtons, you know? ai was at the Academy with your son.’

‘Really?’ Humphrey East said, grasping Lex’s hand and shaking it emphatically. ‘Glad to know you, my boy. Glad to know you. Although I can’t say I remember Jeremiah writing home about you.’

‘Ah… well,’ Lex looked uncomfortable as he drew back his hand. ‘I don’t expect he used mey real name. They used to call me Old Squiffy.’

It had been an educated guess on Lex’s part but, from what little he understood of private schools, it seemed that there was always one unfortunate boy who got landed with the nickname ‘Old Squiffy’. Whether or not Jeremiah had ever had such a friend, Lex couldn’t tell, but it seemed to go down well enough with his father, who threw back his head and laughed. ‘I say, Forsythe, do you remember the Old Squiffy from our school days?’

The two men had a good chuckle and Lex let them have it. He’d experienced a momentary flicker of concern that they might work out the Trent Lexington thing. After all, they must have known that one of the other players in this Game was called Lex Trent. But that was toffs for you. Money had made them stupid. Lex could have announced himself as Tex Lent and they still wouldn’t have put the pieces together. In fact, that wasn’t a bad idea, Lex thought. He rather fancied calling himself Tex. He would have to think up an alter ego for Tex Lent at some point when the circumstances were right… But not now, when Trent Lexington suited the situation so perfectly.

A waiter appeared at that moment with Lex’s tea and crumpets, closely followed by the woman in the daft hat that Lex had knocked into on the way out in order to pick her pocket. He almost choked on his first mouthful of tea when, instead of walking past their table as he’d expected, she pulled up a chair and sat down instead.

‘Wilhelmina, my dear, this is Trent Lexington. One of Jeremiah’s school friends, come to watch him play. Isn’t that nice?’

‘Pleased to meet you, ma’am,’ Lex managed. So this silly old bat was Jeremiah’s mother. And Lex had her purse in his pocket! It was only with a great deal of self-control that he managed not to smirk where he sat.

‘Likewise, I’m sure,’ the woman said, still looking rather tearful. Perhaps she was fretting about the possibility of poor dear Jeremiah getting killed in the Game. Lex was glad in that moment that he had no such fussing relatives? except for Lucius? inconveniencing him and cramping his style. Who needed parents, anyway?

Lex took another gulp of tea and thought hard. Time to get to work. But how to go about it? He could hardly come straight out and ask Jeremiah’s parents if their son had any useful little weaknesses or character flaws that a scoundrel might try to exploit. They may not be the brightest pair he’d ever met but even they were surely likely to get suspicious about those sorts of questions.

‘Ai can’t tell you how much ai’m rooting for Jeremiah!’ he gushed. ‘I do so hope that he wins!’

‘Of course he’ll win!’ Mr East boomed, as if the very suggestion that he might not was absurd. ‘The boy was born and bred to win!’

‘Yaas, of course he was!’ Lex agreed before making a show of looking around for non-existent eavesdroppers, lowering his voice and saying, ‘And ai’m quaite sure that that phobia of his won’t interfere with his ability to play the Game one jot. Not one single jot.’

Mr and Mrs East instantly both looked rather annoyed and Mrs East said huffily, ‘It’s perfectly natural for a young man his age to be afraid of rattlesnakes.’

Lex wasn’t sure what the young man his age bit had to do with it but he just nodded along, anyway.

‘Absolutely!’ Mr East agreed. ‘Mark of intelligence, if you ask me! Besides, there’s hardly going to be any rattlesnakes in there, are there?’ He pointed at the silver surface of the sea.

‘No, sir,’ Lex replied. But we’ll see what we can do about that.. ‘But what about that other thing?’

Guesswork, once again. There was no guaranteeing there was another thing, after all. And, indeed, for a moment both of Jeremiah’s parents looked blank.

‘Oh, perhaps he didn’t tell you,’ Lex said, looking embarrassed. ‘Perhaps ai shouldn’t have said anything.’

‘Don’t be absurd!’ Mrs East snapped. ‘Do you really think our son would have told you things that he didn’t tell us? I expect you’re referring to that upset with the brandy at the Academy. But Jeremiah doesn’t drink anymore,’ she said, fixing Lex with a frosty look.

‘Doesn’t drink, you say?’

‘Not one drop. He knows his own limitations. We brought him up in such a way as to make sure of that.’

‘I say, perhaps we oughtn’t to be talking about such things out in the open like this,’ Mr East said, suddenly catching on to the impropriety.

Lex nodded his agreement. It was almost time for him to go, anyway, but there was just time to do one last bit of damage first. He leaned forwards across the table a little and said, ‘Ai daresay ai shouldn’t tell you this, but ai have it on good authority that this Lex Trent fellow Jeremiah’s up against is absolutely petrified of bats.’

‘Bats?’ Mrs East said sharply. ‘Bats, you say?’

‘Yaas, bats. Little winged rats, you know.’

In fact, Lex had no phobias. None whatsoever. He wasn’t scared of heights or spiders or rats or bats or snakes or anything. These were irrational fears and simply baffled him. There’d have been about as much truth in the statement, Lex Trent is scared of the colour blue, as there was in the statement that he was afraid of bats. In fact, he rather liked bats. They were sweet little things when they didn’t have their fangs out. But he may as well toss a bone Jeremiah’s way and see if anything happened, although he suspected the nobleman wouldn’t have the wit to make good use of the information. It would take a special kind of cunning to produce a bat in the middle of the Game, after all. Lex would have managed it somehow, but he doubted Jeremiah would. Still, hopefully he might waste a bit of time and energy in the attempt.

‘Ai have a friend who knew Trent when they were law students back in the Wither City,’ Lex said. ‘And apparently, one night, a swarm of bats descended on them and this fellow Trent went absolutely nuts. Freaked out altogether, so old Jonesy said. Practically wet himself.’

‘You don’t say?’ Mr East said, stroking his chin thoughtfully. The man was so transparent he might just as well have been made of glass.

‘Best not tell Easty though, eh? Ai mean, it wouldn’t be sporting, would it? And ai’m sure Jeremiah doesn’t need tips like that to win. He can win without them.’

‘Of course he can!’ his parents said in perfect unison.

‘Of course he can,’ Lex echoed.