Fighting with fire

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

The rest of the week passed uneventfully. Lex spent most of it closeted away in the suite with Jesse, only occasionally putting in an appearance downstairs to look sad and morose. Jesse insisted on going back to the ship briefly once a day to feed and water Rusty. Lady Luck took him there and back whilst Lex was at dinner. It suited them both as Lady Luck was under strict instructions from Lex not to bring the cowboy back to the hotel until Lex himself returned to the room. Handcuffing him to the bed wasn’t likely to work a second time and, this way, Lex could be sure that Jesse wasn’t somehow going to stroll into the dining room in full view of everyone, or something equally hideous.

Lex practised for an hour every day with the cards until they finally felt so familiar in his hands that it was almost like they were part of him. Every day he drank four cups of the vile, stewed black coffee that they prepared over the fire. After the first two days, he was able to drink it without grimacing.

Chewing tobacco was a little more problematic. Jesse showed him how to tear a piece off a cake of tobacco with his teeth. The idea was then to stick it in your cheek and chew before finally spitting it out along with a foul-smelling glob of tobacco juice. There were spittoons, Jesse said, at Dry Gulch House but many of the cowboys simply spat right on to the floor. Lex was horrified. The whole thing went totally against his natural penchant for cleanliness. But it was the lesser of two evils, seeing as the alternative was to actually smoke a cigarette. There was no way in hell that Lex was doing that? not for any scam. Sacrificing cleanliness was one thing but sacrificing health was something else altogether. So he had no choice but to practise chewing tobacco until the vile taste of it no longer made him sick.

Jesse told him that all cowboys drank all the time but that, too, would not work for Lex. He hated alcohol and he couldn’t possibly hope to carry out an effective scam if he was incapacitated as a result of being blind drunk. He would need all his wits about him in order to perpetuate this fraud. So? as with the fire lighting? Lex came up with a way to cheat. He would carry two flasks on his person at all times. Jesse said it was not unusual for cowboys to do so. One of his flasks would have whisky in it but the other would just have water. Whenever he got the chance, he would privately swish whisky around his mouth before spitting it out. That way, people would be able to smell alcohol on his breath. But in public he would only drink from the water flask, thereby giving the appearance of constantly guzzling alcohol when he would really just be sipping water.

He also spent several hours a day handling Jesse’s knives and pistols. The cowboy showed him how to spin both types of weapon in his hands and, after several hours of practicing, Lex soon picked this up. It looked very impressive whilst not actually doing anything. Lex certainly had no intention of throwing a knife at anyone. Scamming people was one thing but killing them was something else and Lex was no murderer.

‘No one gets hurt in my schemes. That takes real finesse, that does? scamming people without injuries.’

‘Just because no one’s bleedin’ don’t mean there ain’t no injuries,’ Jesse said mildly.

‘What’s that supposed to mean?’ Lex said, annoyed by the cowboy’s tone.

‘I robbed a bank once,’ Jesse said. ‘Me and a couple of the fellas. There was a bit of shootin’ but no one got hurt. Head banker lost his job, though. And him with a family to feed.’

‘Is that it?’ Lex asked incredulously. ‘Head banker lost his job? Cripes, you probably did the man a favour! Banking is almost as boring as lawyering! Is that why you fled the west?’

‘Well, yeah, partly. But I had a price on my head before that. Nah, the main reason I left was because my old gang sorta turned on me.’

‘What do you mean, they turned on you?’ Lex asked suspiciously. ‘What did you do to them?’

‘Double crossed ’em,’ Jesse replied. ‘Or tried to, anyway. They were gonna rob another bank, see? But I knew that one would go wrong. I could feel it in my gut. The cashier was this old chap. Twitchy little fella, he was-’

‘So you’re soft in the head when it comes to old people as well as kids!’ Lex sneered derisively.

‘Someone woulda got hurt,’ Jesse said firmly. ‘So I told the sheriff their plans. Only problem was that this sheriff was a damned simpleton. Botched the capture, he did. And set them off after me. Real mad they were, too. I figured the best thing was to leave town and lie low for a bit.’

‘Well, no one gets hurt in my schemes. Not only do I refuse to use violence but I actually go out of my way to avoid it. You can’t say fairer than that. That’s why I don’t intend to ever use knives or pistols in my role at Dry Gulch. I know how to handle them and how to spin the pistols and clean them and that’s all I need to know. Seems to me that my lessons are more or less complete already.’

‘You still gotta learn how to ride a horse,’ Jesse said.

‘Well, how hard can that be?’

‘And you ain’t learnt the lingo, yet.’

‘If you mean that pidgin English you persist in using, I think I’ve got the gist of it from listening to you prattle on all day.’

Jesse crossed his arms over his chest. ‘All righty then,’ he said. ‘Show me.’

‘There ain’t nothin’ to it,’ Lex drawled in a perfect mimic of the accent, ‘’cept for draggin’ out them pesky vowel sounds and keepin’ all the words short and sweet, with a bit of suckin’ at your teeth now and then if there ain’t no tobacco to be spat.’ Switching back to his normal voice, he added, ‘Add in a few double negatives and other grievous grammatical breaches for good measure and you’re there.’

‘OK,’ Jesse admitted. ‘You gotta grip on the speakin’. But you’ll need a nickname. All cowboys gotta name. Y’know, like Quick-Draw McGraw or Popcorn-Face Billy or Rotten-Luck Willy or Snakebite Harry-’

‘What’s your nickname?’ Lex asked.

‘Me? Back where I come from people know me as Jailhouse Jesse.’

‘Get caught a lot, do you?’ Lex sneered. ‘Lucky me? I’m being taught all the tricks of the trade by an incompetent cowboy who can’t even keep himself out of prison.’ He sighed, cocked his head, thought a moment and then said, ‘My nickname will be Sid the Kid.’

There was no time for any more planning beyond that because it was the day before the second round was due to begin and they were leaving the hotel. Lex knew that the second round was to take place on one of the Lost Islands but they had been given no more information other than that. He packed up his stuff and got a carriage back to the harbour, whilst Jesse was transported back to the boat by her Ladyship in the usual manner.

‘I must admit I’m lookin’ forward to comin’ back from the dead,’ Jesse remarked when Lex joined him on the ship. ‘No offence, partner, but having to spend all day talkin’ to no one but you is startin’ to make me feel a bit barmy.’

‘How do you imagine I feel?’ Lex replied.

The plan was for Lady Luck to spread the word as soon as Lex arrived at the ship that he had ‘discovered’ Jesse there alive. She would inform the other Gods, who would inform their players, and a special announcement would be made to the stadium audiences before the start of the next round.

Unfortunately, the plan went slightly wrong.

As soon as they got back on to the ship, Lex and Jesse went upstairs to see the griffins, who were sunning themselves up on deck. They caught all their own food themselves, so Lex had no need to provide for them but he had missed them nonetheless and they had evidently missed him for, as soon as he appeared on deck, all three of them padded over, leaning their great weight against him affectionately.

‘I swear they get bigger by the week,’ Lex said, stroking their glossy feathers.

Jesse remained in the doorway. Although it seemed unlikely that anyone would be able to see him from the harbour, they were moored right next to Jeremiah’s boat and they didn’t want to take any chances.

But it didn’t make any difference. There was a ladder that stretched up the entire height of the ship. It was what Lex had had to use to embark and disembark throughout the course of the last Game before he’d had the gangplank put in. Now he didn’t use the ladder and it had never really occurred to him that anyone else might. But he had been petting the griffins and talking to Jesse about them for about ten minutes when a figure suddenly vaulted over the side of the ship and on to the deck? a figure dressed in royal blue with shiny golden buttons on his jacket…

It was Jeremiah.

For a moment, the three of them just stared at each other. The expression on Jeremiah’s face went from shocked to relieved to furious. He opened his mouth to speak but Lex got there first. ‘Look at this. Turns out Jesse isn’t dead after all. Good, eh?’

He wasn’t even bothering to try to be convincing. Jeremiah would never go for it. And it was rather fun watching the nobleman’s face as he realised he’d been had.

‘You monster!’ he said. ‘He was never dead at all! Do you know what my sister has been through this week?’

‘The octopus paralysed him,’ Lex replied, ‘rather than killing him. How was I to know? We genuinely believed he was dead for, oh, the first five minutes. But now I have returned to the ship and found him to be alive. Lady Luck is out spreading the good news as we speak.’ Then a thought occurred to Lex; he frowned and said, ‘What are you doing here, anyway?’

‘I was suspicious!’ Jeremiah snapped. ‘Tess told me about going to your room to give you the Dragon. She mentioned the cowboy’s hat. That was the first thing that tipped me off. And the more I thought about it, the more unlikely it seemed that you would have publicly forgiven me as you did. You laid all that honourable gentleman stuff on too bloody thick, Trent! You’re no gentleman; you’re a cad!’

‘Yes, I am. That’s why I always win.’

‘You didn’t win the last round though, did you?’

The reminder wiped the smile off Lex’s face. ‘I’ll win this one, and the one after that!’ he snapped. ‘I’ll win this Game and have everyone loving me by the end of it!’

‘I’m going to tell people what you’ve done! I’m going to tell them all about how you deliberately tricked everyone into thinking your companion was dead, just so that you could earn sympathy points! It’s a disgrace!’

‘Good luck,’ Lex replied, supremely unconcerned. ‘Like I just said, her Ladyship will have already informed the other Gods that Jesse is alive by now. If you go back and say you saw him on the ship, you’ll just be telling them what they already know. You might know the truth and I might know it, but if you try to say I was aware that Jesse’s been alive this whole time then it will be my word against yours and? trust me? I’m a much better liar than you are!’

Jeremiah glared at him, grinding his jaw but saying nothing. Lex was right. Jeremiah was already walking on eggshells where public opinion of him was concerned, whereas everyone was practically overflowing with love towards Lex. If he tried to accuse Lex of lying now, then people probably wouldn’t believe him and all he would achieve would be to have everyone hating his guts again.

Jeremiah took a deep breath and said, ‘I am going to thrash you in the second round like you have never been thrashed before.’

Lex laughed, profoundly delighted by the challenge, and said, ‘I’d really love it if you’d try.’

Jeremiah looked at Jesse and said, ‘Whatever foul scheme you’ve been party to this week? no doubt concocted by this hooligan — ’ he pointed at Lex before turning back to the cowboy? ‘you did save my sister from harm at personal risk to yourself and I am grateful to you. For what it’s worth, I really am glad you’re not dead. Now,’ he turned back to Lex, ‘give me the Dragon and I’ll be on my way.’

‘Dragon?’ Lex said blankly. ‘What Dragon?’

‘You know full well,’ Jeremiah said between gritted teeth. ‘One of the Wishing Dragons of Desareth, left to my sister by our grandfather.’

‘Oh, you mean this Dragon,’ Lex said, pulling the chain out from where it was tucked into his shirt. ‘You can whistle for it. I’ve decided to keep it.’

Hardly able to believe what he was hearing, Jeremiah said furiously, ‘That Dragon was meant for? and belongs to? the grandchild of a noble Adventurer! Not the thieving grandchild of a mere Chronicler!’

Lex could feel his face going red with genuine anger. ‘If I were you,’ he said quietly, ‘I wouldn’t ever insult my grandfather in my hearing again. You’re nothing more than a passing amusement to me right now but if you make a true enemy out of me, I promise, you’ll regret it!’

‘If you won’t hand over the Dragon, I’ll get it back from you myself!’ Jeremiah said, drawing his impressive sword and starting forwards.

Up until this point, the griffins had remained at Lex’s side, watching Jeremiah warily but not reacting to him. Drawing the sword had been his first mistake and walking forward in such a threatening manner was his second. Instantly, the griffins formed a line in front of Lex, rearing up on to their hind legs so that the sun gleamed off their razor-sharp claws, snapping their beaks and staring at Jeremiah with such a cold, vicious look in their eyes that it was not hard to believe they could rip him apart at any moment. He had no choice but to come to a dead stop in the middle of the deck.

‘I wouldn’t take one more step, if I were you,’ Lex said lazily. ‘You’re upsetting the griffins and they can be a bit… unpredictable when they’re upset. If you back away really slowly and go back over the side of the ship the way you came then they might not kill you.’

Jeremiah looked at Lex and the three distinctly savage-looking griffins standing between them and knew he had no choice. So red with anger that he looked rather like a tomato, Jeremiah slowly backed away. When he got to the edge of the deck, he paused long enough only to look back at Lex and say quietly, ‘I’ll get you for this. And I will have my sister’s Dragon back, one way or another.’

‘Dream on,’ Lex replied. ‘And take my advice? think twice before spiking someone’s drink the next time. Not everyone is just some chump who’ll take it lying down.’

With one last scowl, Jeremiah sheathed his sword and climbed over the edge of the ship. Lex walked over to the rails with the griffins and watched Jeremiah’s descent. When the nobleman was only a few rungs away from the bottom, Lex commanded the ship to rise so suddenly and so quickly that Jeremiah was shaken off the ladder altogether and fell into the cold, salty sea with a splash and a yell.

‘ Now,’ Lex said, turning away from the side with a profoundly smug smile, ‘we are even.’