Even White Trash Zombies Get the Blues

Chapter 12

I might not have felt like crying, but I sure wasn’t a happy, cheerful camper either. Plus I wanted chocolate, which told me that at least one part of my human side was still working perfectly fine.

Back before my zombification I’d have most likely headed to any one of the many bars that I frequented, downed a painkiller or three, and chased it with some sort of alcohol with maybe a joint as dessert. But apparently my little parasite got unhappy when I did shit like that and made it use up prions or whatever to clean all that junk out of my system. Even though I was only just now learning the why of it, it hadn’t taken me long after becoming a zombie to figure out that when I did stuff that was bad for me, I rotted a lot faster.

So instead I headed to Double D’s Diner, where I ordered a bacon cheeseburger, fries, a chocolate milkshake, and a chocolate mousse pie for dessert.

The waitress grinned as she jotted down the order. “Now that’s an I don’t give a crap meal if I’ve ever seen one!”

I managed a smile. “Yeah, that pretty much nails it.”

The woman cocked her head and gave me an appraising look. “Lemme guess, you just dumped your boyfriend?”

I let out a short laugh of astonishment. “How on earth…?”

She winked. “Easy. You looked too bummed to be celebrating something. So this is a comfort food thing. Best guess was a boyfriend.”

I smiled. “And how’d you know that I did the dumping?”

She gathered up my menu. “Because usually, when the guy does the dumping, I see the girls eating tiny salads—either because they hope to get him back, or hope to snag another guy to make the first one jealous.” She rolled her eyes. “Screw that. Life’s too short to be with someone for the wrong reasons.”

After she headed off to get my drink, I considered what she’d said. Life was too short for most people, but for me it was potentially too long.

I pulled my GED study guide out of my bag but then just stared at the cover. I’d never ever considered going to college. That was so far out of the realm of possibility that for pretty much my entire life even the thought of it had been laughable. But now…why the hell not? In fact, if I was likely going to be living an absurdly long time, it seemed even more important that I should find a way to make my life a lot more comfortable. I sure as hell didn’t want to be delivering pizzas when I was seventy.

Screw it. Even if it took me twelve tries to pass the damn GED, I was going to do it. Not because I needed it for a decent job—okay, yeah, that was a big reason. But I sure as hell wasn’t going to put up with intellectual snobs looking down on me forever.

My food came, and I worked my way through a practice test while I plowed my way through my comfort-food extravaganza.

“Well, goddamn,” I heard a too-familiar voice say. “Look who’s trying to brush some of the loser off her.”

Gritting my teeth, I glanced up to see Clive standing by my booth. Clive was my ex-boyfriend Randy’s “best bud.” Randy was a total package piece of shit, i.e., a cheating, drugged out asshole who’d convinced me that buying a stolen car from another of his “best buds” was a great idea. But Clive was on a whole ’nother level. He and I were about the same height, but he was probably double my weight, and it wasn’t fat, either. It was all muscle—and far too much muscle for his size. Clive was also the friendly neighborhood dealer when it came to pills and steroids. And yes, much to my regret, I used to get most of my pills from him, even knowing how much of a skeevy jackass he was. Then, after the zombieism took care of that addiction, he and Randy had tried to get me to steal the pills the coroner’s office confiscated so that he could turn around and sell them. Considering that my answer had been “fuck off,” I probably wasn’t his favorite person right now.

A quick glance around confirmed that Randy wasn’t with him, which was a damn good thing because Clive was more than enough asshole for me to be willing to tolerate right now.

“Hi, Clive. Now go away.” I bent my head back to my book, then cursed as he snatched it off the table and started paging through it.

“Oh yeah,” he said with a sneer. “I forgot that you’re a dropout.” He dropped the book back on the table, narrowly missing my plate. “Oh wait, no, I read about you in the paper this morning. Talked a lot about you—you being an ignorant felon and all. You lost a body, right?” He laughed. “How the fuck do you lose a body?”

I knew people were staring, but I suddenly realized what was happening. He was baiting me, most likely because I’d dumped his best buddy, and also because I’d refused to steal drugs from the coroner’s office for him to sell.

Thankfully the manager chose that moment to walk up to my table. A burly man who’d supposedly worked as a pro wrestler for a while, he clearly wasn’t cowed one bit by Clive’s steroid driven bulk. “’Scuse me, ma’am,” he said to me in a soft rumble while his eyes never left Clive. “This gentleman bothering you?”

I exhaled in relief. “Yeah. Actually he is.”

A thin smile creased the manager’s mouth. “Sir, I think it’s time for you to get the fuck out of this establishment and never come back.”

Clive’s sneer deepened, but his eyes flicked over the manager’s bulk as he clearly came to the realization that this was a battle he’d be hard pressed to come out of unbloodied. “This place fucking sucks anyway.” He snorted, then turned to me. “We’re not finished. You fucking owe me.”

“Get over yourself, Clive,” I said. “I don’t owe you shit.”

He probably would have said something else but the manager took a step toward him. Clive turned and stalked out, and as soon as the door closed behind him I was surprised by a scattering of applause from the rest of the diners.

The manager grinned and gave a slight bow, then turned to me, expression more serious. “That guy’s trouble,” he said in a quiet and surprisingly gentle voice. “I’ll walk you out to your car when you finish eating.” It wasn’t a request.

“Thanks,” I said fervently. I might be a badass zombie, but having an ex-wrestler bodyguard, even for a few minutes, was even better.

He smiled and gave me a rough pat on the shoulder before walking off. I dug into my pie and discovered that I didn’t really need comforting anymore at all.

My dad was asleep in the recliner when I got back home. Head tipped back and snoring softly, cigarette ash dotted the front of his shirt and a butt smoldered in the ashtray on the end table. I sighed and stubbed it out. I thought about getting a blanket and covering him up, but I knew that his back would be killing him if he slept all night in the chair.

“Dad.” I gave his shoulder a mild shake. “Hey, Dad, you should go on to bed.”

He blinked his eyes open, focused on me with an uncertain frown. “Angelkins…what you doin’ here?”

“I live here, last I checked.”

He snorted with a touch of derision, and I couldn’t blame him. Last week I’d spent four nights over at Marcus’s place, and the only reason it hadn’t been seven was because he worked the other three nights, and I didn’t feel right staying there by myself.

“C’mon,” I said. “You should go on to bed or your back will hurt you in the morning.” I took his hand and started to help him out, but he pulled it away.

“I’m not an old man,” he said with a scowl. “I don’t need help getting out of a damn chair.”

“Fine, whatever. I just don’t want you to hurt ’cause you’ll be a cranky asshole in the morning.”

He levered himself up out of the chair. “Bullshit. I’m a cranky asshole all the time. Don’t make no difference if I hurt.”

“You won’t hear me arguing,” I shot back.

He snorted, then gave a grimace as he stretched his back out. “Fuck this getting old shit. Don’t ever do it.”

An odd wave of sadness swept through me. There was a very good chance I wouldn’t grow old—at least not the way he was. As far as I knew, I would never have to deal with the usual shit like arthritis and wrinkles. Look at Kang. He’d been in his seventies and looked like he was in his early twenties. “You’re not old, Dad. You’re just beat up. You got a couple of decades to annoy me still.”

“Yeah, I gotta do what I’m good at, right?” He shuffled toward the kitchen. “Don’t suppose you brought home any food?”

I winced. I hadn’t even thought about stopping by the store. “No. But I can order a pizza if you want.”

He waved a hand. “Nah. Take too long. I think we got some mac and cheese.”

“Sit down. I’ll make it,” I told him.

“Jesus Christ, Angel,” he said with a scowl. “I’m not a fucking cripple. I just got a sore back. I can make my own goddamn mac and cheese.”

“Fine, then make your own goddamn mac and cheese,” I said as I plopped down on a stool at the kitchen counter. “Just try not to whine too much.”

“When the hell did you get so fucking ornery?” he asked with a glare, but I thought that maybe there was a tiny touch of pride in the look. Or maybe I was just seeing what I wanted to see.

“This new job. Y’know what’s cool about working with corpses? They don’t fucking talk back.”

He surprised me by giving a bark of laughter. “I still don’t see how you can do that shit. It would creep me the hell out, always thinking that a body would start moving and come after me.” He pulled the box out of the pantry and dumped the dry macaroni into a bowl. “You used to be so damn squeamish too. How’d you get over all that?”

I shrugged, keeping as straight a face as I could. “I guess I just got used to it. Y’do what ya gotta do, right?”

He poured water into the bowl then stuck the whole thing into the microwave. “Well, at least it’s safer than you working those damn convenience store jobs. Always worried about you getting held up and shot some night.”

That took me by surprise. It would’ve never occurred to me in a million years that he could be worried about my safety. Of course it had only been in the past couple of weeks or so that I’d realized he actually did care about me and did not, in fact, simply see me as the cause of all the troubles in his life. It would take both of us a while to get over the habits of reaction that we’d known for so long.

But his comment about being held up reminded me of what had happened to me the other night. I didn’t want to tell him, but I knew without a shadow of a doubt that he’d find out. This was a small town, and gossip flew fast. Hell, I was shocked that he didn’t already know, what with it being all over the front page of the paper. Good thing we didn’t subscribe.

“Well, um, it’s not always safe,” I said. I quickly gave him the bare bones description, though I adjusted the story a bit and made it sound as if the gun hadn’t actually been pointed at me. In my version the bad guy simply showed the gun and I’d cooperated.

My dad took the bowl of listless macaroni out of the microwave and listened in stony silence as he stirred in the orange cheese powder.

“Guess there’s no such thing as a safe job, huh?” he finally said. He didn’t look up, but I could see the lines of his face seem to deepen in sadness and worry. “I kinda want to tell you to quit, but…this job’s been real good for you.” He lifted his gaze to me. “This shit ain’t normal, right? You won’t have people trying to steal bodies from you on a regular basis?”

“No, Dad, I’m pretty sure this is a one time thing,” I said, ruthlessly pushing aside the memory of the time I’d been attacked by a zombie for the body in my van. That was a different situation entirely. Really.

“Just keep yourself out of trouble, ’kay?” he said, frowning at me. Used to be that those frowns meant that he knew I was going to get into trouble and he didn’t want to be bothered by it. Lately I was starting to believe that he actually gave a shit.

He remained silent for a couple of minutes while he ate, emotions playing over his face. “I’ll worry about you no matter what. But I’m real proud of you for fixing yourself up so good.” He set the fork down. “I’m trying real hard to make you proud of me, baby.” I could see the faint tremble in his hands. He wanted a drink. Wanted it bad.

I didn’t even think about it, just got up and came around the counter and put my arms around him from behind. He gave a brief start of surprise, then let out a soft sigh and relaxed while I leaned my head against his back. He felt so fragile, bone and skin held together by sheer will and meanness. I’d known him as a bastard for so long, it almost felt like if he lost that there’d be nothing left of him, nothing to hold him together and keep him real.

God, I hoped I was wrong.

“I am proud of you, Dad.” He shivered, and I realized with a shock that he was crying. I gave him a light squeeze, then turned away and headed toward the front door. I knew he didn’t want me to see him cry.

Or maybe I just didn’t want to see it. I stepped out onto the porch and gently closed the door behind me. Yeah, that was the hard truth. I was the weak one right now. I couldn’t be in there with him, watching him fight the need for a drink every second. I’d never fought it the way he was now. I had it easy. Become a zombie and presto, all your old addictions are swept away by one big new one.

I shivered as I walked down to the driveway, wishing I could shake off the worry and doubt and fear as easily. And also wishing that I’d grabbed a jacket on my way out. Yeah, we were in the deep South, but it was early December, and it could still get damn nippy down here.

But an entirely different sort of cold grabbed me as Ed Quinn stepped out from behind my dad’s truck.