Eternal

25 ~ Enough Already

Since I had to skip senior ditch day on Friday, I decided to watch the sun rise from the loft in the chapel instead. As soon as Cece left, joining the horde of whispering seniors gathering in the East Hall lounge, I slipped on a pair of running shorts and a T-shirt and jogged across the dark, silent campus.

By the time I reached the last set of steps to the loft, I was breathless. I swiped at the thin sheen of sweat on my forehead with the back of one hand, then hustled up the ladder, pulling myself onto the wooden platform with a heaving sigh.

Only, I wasn’t alone.

“What are you doing here?” Aidan asked, turning to face me. “It’s senior ditch day. You’re supposed to be at the cemetery.”

“Seemed like a better idea to stay here,” I said with a shrug. “Otherwise, Matth—Dr. Byrne,” I corrected, “would have insisted on tagging along. I figured that wouldn’t make me very popular.”

“Won’t your little friend be terribly disappointed?”

“Won’t Jenna?” I shot back. My jealousy had grown and festered since that first sleepless night. Each day since, I’d become angrier and more confused, my feelings a tangled mess of insecurity and self-righteous fury.

Aidan turned back toward the wall, but I could see his jaw working, the muscles flexing as he stood rigidly with his hands fisted by his sides. Several seconds passed in silence.

“I suppose that means your little spy reported back to you,” he said at last.

My heart did a little leap against my ribs. “What do you mean?”

“I think you know exactly what I mean. I have preternatural senses, remember?”

“You mean . . . you knew?” I stammered.

He turned back toward me, his face an implacable mask. “I was fully aware of Cece’s presence there in the woods.”

“So you . . . what? Wanted to punish me?” My swelling rage was constricting my windpipe, making white spots dance before my eyes. “Is that it?”

His eyes narrowed a fraction. “Is that really what you think of me?”

“What else am I supposed to think?”

He waited a beat before replying. “That I was trying to make you jealous by acting like a complete and total ass.”

Hurt, shock, surprise, relief—it all battled inside me. “You have got to be kidding me.”

“It was a stupid, immature thing for me to do, Violet. I know that now. But I was seething with jealousy, and—”

“For nothing!” I shook my head. “We weren’t even doing anything.”

“And you know what’s really killing me, Violet? As much as I want to hate him, I can’t help but think you’d be better off with him. Especially now, with assassins crawling out of the woodwork. Did you know that the guards have intercepted three in the past two weeks alone? Right outside Winterhaven, coming for me. You’d be safer with him. With Tyler.”

“But I don’t want to be with Tyler. He’s just a friend—there is nothing going on between us.”

“There’s nothing going on between me and Jenna either.”

I turned away from him, tears flooding my eyes. “This isn’t even remotely the same. She was naked, in case you didn’t notice.”

I heard him sigh. “For the record, that wasn’t the first time I’ve seen Jenna naked. It’s quite routine, though she makes my skin crawl. I suppose it’s something biological—you know, a vampire-werewolf thing. Regardless, I promise you I get no pleasure from it.”

“Just shut up,” I muttered. Hearing that he saw her naked regularly did not make me feel any better, even if the sight of her did make his skin crawl. Which I doubted, considering how freaking gorgeous she was. There was no way I could ever compare, not in the looks department.

He reached for my shoulder, turning me around to face him. “Can we stop fighting now? Please? It’s ripping my heart out.” His voice broke on those last words, making my own heart twist painfully in my chest.

The truth was, I didn’t want to fight anymore, either. I just wanted things back to normal.

“Please forgive me, Violet,” he continued. “I should have trusted you, believed you. I should have tamped down the beast inside of me.”

I swallowed hard. “I can’t believe I actually thought you and Jenna . . .” A shiver snaked down my spine. “I mean, seriously.”

He hung his head, shuffling his feet against the dusty floorboards. “I’m sorry I was such an ass. I’ll do anything—whatever it takes to make it up to you.”

I couldn’t stay mad at him, not any longer. “Okay, okay. Apology accepted. Consider yourself forgiven.”

“Thank you.” His blue-gray eyes met mine. “Now please come over here and put me out of my misery. I’m not sure I can stand it another second.”

I hurried into his embrace, pressing my cheek against his chest as he wrapped his arms around me, holding me tight. I let out a sigh of contentment as his lips moved against my temple.

“Have you any idea how much I love you?” he asked, his voice a hoarse whisper now. “I bloody well thought it would kill me, keeping you at arm’s length. I can’t do it, Violet. Never again.”

“I know,” I said, tipping my chin up to meet his gaze. “Just kiss me, okay?”

He did. Somehow, we ended up tangled together on the floor as he kissed me deeply, thoroughly, hungrily. I arched my body against his, wanting more, wanting to be swallowed up entirely.

“When are they coming back from Sunnyside?” he asked, his lips leaving mine just for an instant before finding them again.

“Doesn’t matter,” I somehow managed to say. “We’ve got all day.”

He pulled away, smiling down at me. “Ditch day. Right. God, we need a blanket or something.”

Scrambling to his feet, he found the box in the corner that held a stash of blankets and throw pillows. I just stared at the square window above me, the sky a perfect blue beyond the glass.

“You’re smiling,” Aidan noted, standing over me now. “I haven’t seen that in far too long.”

“I was just thinking how normal this is. You know, the fight and all. For once it wasn’t about something supernatural or anything like that. It didn’t have anything to do with you being a vampire or me being a Sâbbat. You called it ‘juvenile,’ but that’s what it should be, right? I mean, no matter how long you’ve lived, you’re really just seventeen. You acted like a normal seventeen-year-old would. I think . . . I think maybe we needed that. It’s like . . . I don’t know . . . just so human.”

“And that’s why you were smiling?”

I sat up, scooting over to allow him room to spread out the blanket. “Yeah, I guess so. I mean, that and the fact that we can stay here making out all day long if we want. We’re not expected in class, and there’s no one here to come looking for us. At least, not until after lunch.”

“What about Dr. Byrne?”

I shrugged. “What about him?”

“You must have told him you weren’t going off campus with the rest of the class. So . . . did you tell him where you were going instead?”

“Uh-oh,” I said, realizing the problem. Matthew was hyperattuned to my emotional state. And if my emotional state got all . . . aflutter . . . would he feel it? How would he interpret it? Worse, would he start combing the campus, looking for me, when I didn’t answer my cell phone?

“Why ‘uh-oh’?” Aidan asked, on his knees beside me now.

A plan formed in my mind. “Is there any way you can . . . you know, pop into my dorm room real quick and get my cell phone for me? I need to call Dr. Byrne and tell him where I am.” And who I’m with, I mentally added. Embarrassing as it was, Matthew would probably figure out what was going on once he started reading me, if he knew I was here with Aidan. I cringed at the thought, but what choice did I have?

“Of course. Is it on your desk?”

“Yeah, I think so. Plugged into the charger.”

“Okay. Sit tight. I’ll be right back.”

He was, in a matter of seconds. He handed me the phone with a smile.

“Okay, that is just so weird,” I said. “You know that, right?”

“Do you want to know how it’s done? Technically speaking, I mean?”

I envisioned a lengthy, scientific-term-laden explanation and shook my head. “Not really, to tell you the truth.”

He looked a little hurt. “Well, don’t say I didn’t offer. It’s really quite fascinating.”

“I’m sure it is, science boy. But give me five seconds to call Dr. Byrne, and let’s pick up where we left off from before, okay?” I pulled him closer, reaching for his hand and pulling it toward my stomach. “I’m pretty sure your right hand was here,” I said, laying it against the bare skin between my waistband and the hem of my shirt. “And mine was—”

“Make your call,” he said impatiently, his eyes darkening with desire. “Quickly.”

I was feeling more than a little sheepish the next morning when I stepped into Matthew’s office for our weekly coaching session. Under the weight of his gaze, I made my way to the chair across from his desk and sat, fiddling with a loose thread on the hem of my sleeve.

He cleared his throat uncomfortably. “We might as well get this over with. You know, like ripping off a bandage.”

“Go for it,” I muttered, bracing myself.

He regarded me coolly, his hands folded on the desk in front of him. “You had a good time yesterday, I take it.”

My cheeks immediately flooded with heat. “Ugh, this is so not fair.”

“Trust me, in this case I’d have to agree.” His cheeks were almost as red as I imagined mine were.

“Just what did you sense?” I asked, suddenly overcome with a morbid curiosity that, mercifully, vanished just as quickly as it had appeared. “Never mind. Don’t tell me. I don’t want to know.”

“Good, because I sure as hell don’t want to tell you. But I am starting to wonder if I should have a little chat with Aidan.”

I rolled my eyes. “Oh my God. Please don’t. This is embarrassing enough as it is. And . . . trust me, okay? You don’t need to be worried.”

“No offense, but that’s kind of hard to believe after the read I got from you yesterday.”

My cheeks burned hotter still. “Can’t you just . . . I don’t know, turn it off or something when I’m with Aidan?”

He leveled a glare in my direction. “Can you turn off your visions?”

“Okay, never mind. I get it.”

The truth was, Aidan and I had pushed the limits yesterday. If it weren’t for the fact that he was a vampire and I was a Sâbbat, well . . . maybe it was a good thing that we were. We’d gotten a little careless and a lot carried away. But then, I was eighteen now and Aidan, well . . . he wasn’t a virgin. Besides, we were genuinely in love. I started feeling giddy all over again, just remembering the way he’d . . .

“Can you please stop that?” Matthew snapped, pulling me from my thoughts.

I rose on shaking legs. “Okay, I’m leaving.”

“Why?” he countered. “It doesn’t make a difference if you’re sitting right there in front of me or not. You know that.”

With a groan, I slumped back into my seat. “Great. So I have to watch what I’m doing—or even thinking—so that it doesn’t affect you, but you can do whatever the heck you want with Charlie in your room in the middle of the night?”

“What are you talking about?”

“The other night. When we were on the phone. I heard her.”

Several seconds passed in silence but for the ticktock of the clock on his desk. “Not that it’s any of your business,” he said at last, “but we weren’t in my room. We were in the lab.”

“The lab? What were you doing in the lab together?”

“Charlie is a biochemist. We were working on something. And obviously not having nearly as much fun as you and Aidan were in the loft yesterday.”

I winced as his words hit their mark. “Why don’t you tell me about Charlie, then, instead of keeping her a big mystery. It’s only fair, don’t you think?”

He leaned back in his chair, his hands folded behind his head. “Okay, what do you want to know?”

“I don’t know,” I said with a shrug. “How did you meet her? What’s she like? Stuff like that, I guess.”

“I met her my junior year at MIT, and we’ve been close ever since. Actually, we both went to Winterhaven, but not at the same time—she’s a few years older than me. Her father’s a teacher here. I think you had him last year for history.”

“Dr. Penworth?”

Matthew nodded. “Charlie’s the reason—or at least I thought she was—that I took this post at Winterhaven. She did her PhD at Columbia, and I wanted to stay close by.”

“So she is your girlfriend,” I said, ignoring the ridiculous and unexpected stab of jealousy.

“Charlie knows about the whole Megvéd thing,” he hedged. “She knows she can never come first in my life.”

“You didn’t answer my question,” I pointed out.

“Because there is no answer to it. My relationship with Charlie is what it is. She knows that if a better offer comes her way, she’s welcome to take it.”

“Wow, that’s awfully noble of you.”

He shrugged. “What else can I do? It’s not like I have a choice—not really.”

I was dying to know if they were sleeping together, but I knew I couldn’t ask. It would be crossing a line, for sure. Still, I couldn’t help but wonder.

“You said she’s a biochemist?” I asked instead.

“Yes, a brilliant one. She’s still at Columbia; she’s got her own life, her own work.”

“So, what were you doing in the lab together?”

“She’s helping me with Aidan’s cure. And . . . well, I don’t want to get your hopes up, but things are looking pretty good. I’m cautiously optimistic that we’ll have it by graduation. I just wish there was some definitive way to test it beyond the cellular level. Anyway, is there anything else you want to know?”

“I guess that about covers it,” I said, even though it didn’t, not really. Like a true scientist, he’d omitted anything about feelings. He hadn’t said if he loved her, or if she hated me for coming between them. “I’d kind of like to meet her, though.”

“I don’t think so,” he said, shaking his head.

Which probably meant that she wanted to rip mine off. “Well, this has been enlightening.”

“Though not very useful, as far as coaching sessions go.”

“Oh, please. Why do we even pretend that they’re still coaching sessions? We’re just hanging out. Might as well call a spade a spade.”

“I suppose you’re right. So . . . has Aidan told you about the attacks?”

My pulse leapt with alarm. “What attacks?”

“In Eastern Europe and somewhere in Asia. Unexplained deaths—a rash of them. Wounds to the victims’ necks.”

“Where did you hear this?” I asked.

“From Aidan. I guess this Luc character told him—you know, his scary-looking new bodyguard. Between these civilian attacks and the assassin that came after Aidan in Atlanta, well . . . things are definitely escalating. What’s going to happen if this war breaks out before school ends? Have you given any thought to that?”

I shook my head. “I’m just hoping that it doesn’t. But if it does, well . . . I assume Mrs. Girard will somehow excuse me from finals and grant me my diploma, even if I’m not around to finish the semester, right? I mean, she’s the one making me play a part in all of this.”

“Wait, that reminds me . . .” Matthew rose from his chair and went to a cabinet against the far wall, where he rummaged around for a bit. When he returned, he had something in one hand—a vial of some sort. He moved to stand just in front of me. “I’ve been meaning to test something out on you.”

“Okay,” I said warily.

In one swift movement, he removed the cap.

Immediately, my senses exploded. My right wrist burned; my entire body seemed to vibrate. Glancing down, I saw that the blackish red bloodstones on my bracelet were roiling angrily, glowing now.

Two words flooded my consciousness: Vampire. Destroy.

In an instant, I had my stake in my hand, poised to strike.

“Whoa!” Matthew said, ducking behind his desk. Hastily, he recapped the vial.

Just like that, the sensations disappeared. Gone. Poof. “What was that?” I asked, dropping the stake to the floor by my feet.

Matthew looked a little pale. “Infected vampire blood, along with a tissue sample. That was some reaction, though. I didn’t even see you reach for your stake.”

I tipped my head toward my bag. “It was in there.”

“Yeah, but you moved so fast. Too fast. Next time you need to take a second to establish the connection with me first, okay? You would have struck on your own, with no coordination. We’re a team, remember?”

“Well, next time warn me before you go sticking vampire blood under my nose like that! Where did you get it, anyway? It isn’t Aidan’s.”

His eyes widened a fraction. “You can tell it isn’t Aidan’s?”

“Yeah.” I held up the wrist with the bracelet. “White stones, good vampire. Red stones, bad vampire. It’s pretty simple. Anyway, I don’t get all wiggy when it’s a good vampire. Especially if it’s Aidan.”

“I had him take this sample from the vampire we slayed in Atlanta,” he said, pointedly avoiding any mention of Kate. “The female. Before he burned the corpse.”

I just nodded, trying to ignore the painful lump that had formed in my throat. I would not let myself think about Kate. Not now.

He rubbed a palm against the dark stubble on his cheek, looking thoughtful. “Anyway, it’s interesting that you reacted so strongly. I guess that means it’s either something in the blood or in the tissue cells that sets you off. The vampire doesn’t have to be alive. Of course, I use that term loosely in this case.”

“Well, that’s just fascinating,” I said sharply. I was still shaking all over, thanks to his little test. Adrenaline, I supposed.

“Can we try it one more time? Only this time, the second you sense it, reach out for me psychically, okay?”

“I’m not sure I know how,” I said truthfully. “You mean telepathically?”

“Try using the same mental muscle you use to put up the wall around your thoughts. Does that make any sense to you?”

“Yeah, I guess,” I said, resigning myself to the experiment. Clearly, Matthew thought this was an important skill to hone.

“Okay, ready? I’m going to uncap it again.”

I nodded. “Ready.”

Just like before, I had my stake in my hand, moving to strike a mere second or two after he’d removed the cap. There had been no time to reach out to him psychically, no time to think or do anything at all, except react.

It was only on the fourth try that I managed to pause long enough to flex my psychic muscle. Megvéd, I thought, pushing the word from my mind in much the same way as I reached out telepathically to Aidan.

And then I felt what seemed like a click inside my head. Suddenly, he was there. Matthew. Inside my consciousness.

Vampire. Destroy. The words were a command this time, spoken directly to Matthew, but with no discernible effort on my part. I couldn’t explain it, not even if I tried. There were no words to describe the connection. We were simply . . . one.

I reached for my stake; he unsheathed his baselard, all in the blink of an eye. If he feinted left, I went right, and vice versa. We moved in perfect unison, not like separate bodies, but like two parts of a single one, anticipating each other’s every move, bolstering it.

And then he recapped the vial. I felt him disengage from me psychically, just like that. I felt off, like I had vertigo or something. I collapsed into the chair behind me with a gasp, trying to regain my equilibrium.

Across from me, Matthew looked equally dazed. “Wow,” he said, raking a hand through his hair. “That was . . . intense.”

It took me a second to catch my breath. “Yeah. I think we got it that time.”

“I guess so.” He set down the vial, his hands trembling slightly. “You think we can do that at any time? Or just when there’s a threat?”

“You’re asking me?” I shook my head. “I’m totally in the dark here. I know nothing. I don’t even know what the hell that was.”

The corners of his mouth lifted into a smile. “I’d call it pretty damn awesome, wouldn’t you?”

I had to admit it was.