Elegy

TWENTY-SEVEN Devastation

The clock above the fireplace said it was after eleven o’clock, but Harper assumed that Daniel had gone out with his friends. After all, he was twenty-one, so hitting a few bars would seem logical, especially since he had no idea that she was coming down to surprise him.

Several times throughout the evening, as she’d been waiting for him, she had considered texting or calling to find out where he was or when he might be home. But that would ruin the surprise.

It had already been weeks in the planning. When she arrived at college, she’d gone down to the campus clinic and gotten herself birth control. At the time, she didn’t know it was for tonight, but she knew that things were getting serious, so she thought it wouldn’t hurt to be on it.

The little blue number she was wearing, that was for tonight. In between trying to break ancient curses and cramming for school, Harper had snuck off to a small lingerie boutique in Sundham. She’d gotten the cute matching bra and lace panties for a birthday surprise.

She hadn’t decided for sure that tonight would be the night until Sunday, when they’d gotten close to taking their relationship farther. Daniel said he’d wanted to wait until the moment was perfect, but Harper had realized that she didn’t know when there ever would be a “perfect” moment.

All the troubles with Gemma and the sirens might never end. More and more, she feared that might be the case, and even when or if it ever did end, it might not be for a very long time.

And right now, Harper knew that she loved Daniel more than she’d ever loved anyone, and she wanted to be with him. Not just for today but for the rest of her life. She’d thought about it, she’d talked about it with him, and she was ready.

It would’ve been nice if Daniel had come home sooner, but she’d actually needed the time. After the visit with her mom earlier today, Harper needed a break to decompress. She parked her car away from the docks so Daniel wouldn’t see it, and she took Bernie’s old speedboat out to the island in hopes of getting there first to surprise him.

But now she’d had plenty of time to get ready, reapply her makeup, and change her pose on the couch fifty times. She didn’t want Daniel to know she was here, so she’d only left one lamp on in the corner, leaving her in near darkness.

To make the house seem less creepy, she’d hooked her iPod up to the stereo and put it on shuffle, so her music played softly in the room.

When she finally heard the door handle, her stomach flipped. Harper hurriedly paused the music, so he’d see her before he heard anything, and then posed in the most seductive way possible. She didn’t really know what that meant, so she ended up kind of leaning back, with her long, dark hair falling around her.

Daniel came inside the house, but he didn’t notice her until after he’d turned on the kitchen light. Then he froze and stared at her with a look that could only be described as abject horror.

That was the first chance for Harper to get a really good look at him, and he looked like hell. Droplets of blood were on his chest, and he had dried blood on his hands and smeared across his forehead. His flannel shirt appeared to have been torn since it hung open haphazardly. He had his usual facial scruff, but his face appeared even more ragged. And his hazel eyes had a bleak emptiness in them, something Harper had never seen there before.

“Daniel. Oh, my god.” She got up and hurried over to him. “What happened to you?”

“You’ve gotta be kidding me,” he said flatly. “This is one of the worst days of my entire life, and now this.”

“Now this?” Harper took a step back, but she tried to smile and play it off as a joke. “I’m sorry I didn’t realize seeing me would make your day worse.”

“No, it doesn’t. Not normally, but…” He trailed off and lowered his eyes.

“Daniel. What’s going on?” She reached out, touching his arm gently. “You’re scaring me.”

He rubbed his temple. “I just want to take a shower, but this can’t wait, can it?”

“What can’t? We can do whatever you want to do.”

“Just give me one second.”

Without looking at her, he slid by and went to the bathroom. As she listened to the sound of running water, Harper rubbed her hands on her bare arms and sat down on the couch. In an attempt to ease her anxiety, she turned the music back on, and “Landfill” by Daughter came softly out of the speakers.

A few minutes later, Daniel came back out. He was shirtless, and with all the blood washed off, she couldn’t see any obvious wounds. Other than the scars from his previous battles with the sirens and the black branches of his tattoo stretching down his shoulder.

He had a different flannel shirt in his hand, and he held it out to Harper. “Here. Put this on. It’s clean.”

Her cheeks flushed as she slid the shirt on, but she left it unbuttoned. “I’m sorry if I did something wrong coming here tonight. I just wanted to surprise you.”

“No, you didn’t do anything wrong.” He went into the kitchen and opened the fridge. “Do you want a beer or anything?”

“No. I just want you to tell me what’s going on,” she said. Daniel opened his beer, flipping the top in the sink, and he lingered in the kitchen as he took several long drinks. “Come here. Talk to me.”

He exhaled heavily and trudged into the living room. The coffee table was right across from Harper, and he pulled it closer to her and sat on the edge of it. With a beer still in his hand, he bowed his head and let his elbows rest on his knees.

His head rested against Harper’s chest, so she leaned forward and put her arms around him. She kissed the back of his head and rubbed his back, feeling the bumps of his scars under her hand.

“Daniel,” she said softly, almost speaking into his hair. “What happened?”

Finally, he lifted his head and looked at her. He just stared at her for a moment, a sad smile on his lips.

“You do look really beautiful tonight.”

“Thank you,” Harper said, but her heart hadn’t stopped racing since he’d gotten home, and she didn’t want compliments. “Why were you covered in blood? Were you hurt?”

He lowered his eyes again and stared down at the bottle in his hand. “No. I wasn’t hurt. That wasn’t my blood. It was Aiden Crawford’s.”

“Aiden? What happened? Is he okay?”

“No.” He took a long drink of his beer before speaking again. “I just dumped his body off my boat—in parts—all over the ocean because Liv tore him up. She killed him.”

Harper shook her head in confusion. “Why?”

“I don’t know.” He laughed, a hollow sound. “Because she’s a demon from hell? I don’t know.”

“Why did you help get rid of his body? Did Gemma call you?” Harper glanced at the table, where her cell phone was sitting. She’d left it on, so if Gemma needed her, she would’ve gotten a call. “Is she okay?”

“Gemma’s fine. She’s good,” he assured her quickly. “No, she didn’t call me.” He paused, and it felt like a long time before he said, “I was with Penn.”

“You were … with Penn?” Harper leaned back, pulling away from him and trying to understand what he was saying to her.

“I went out to her house tonight.” He kept staring down, his words low and thick. “To have sex with her.”

“To…” Her breath caught in her throat, and for a moment, it was impossible for her speak. “To what?”

“She told me that if I had sex with her, then she wouldn’t kill you or Gemma. And if I said no, then she would kill you and Gemma. So I, uh … I said yes.”

It was like the floor had been pulled out from beneath her. She’d been on solid ground, and all of a sudden it was replaced by empty blackness below her, threatening to swallow her up. Her mind swirled with too many thoughts, making her dizzy, and she had to keep swallowing to stop from crying or throwing up.

“So you had sex with Penn?” Harper asked, hoping she kept the quaver out of her voice. “The horrible monster who is ruining my life and my sister’s life, who murders and takes whatever she wants? That Penn?”

“I didn’t have sex with her tonight.”

“But you did another night?” she asked, and if he said yes, she was certain she’d throw up.

“No,” he said quickly. “No. I’ve never had sex with her.”

“Why not?”

“We were supposed to tonight, but Liv killed Aiden, and that interrupted us.”

Harper brushed the hair back from her forehead, and she realized her hands were trembling. “If she hadn’t interrupted, you would’ve had sex with her?”

He nodded. “Yes.”

“So … did you do anything with her?” Harper asked, but he said nothing. “Daniel. Answer me.”

“Yes.”

“Did you kiss her? Did you take off your clothes?” she asked, and when he didn’t reply, she went on, “Did she get further with you than I have?”

He breathed deeply, then so softly she barely heard him, he said, “Yes.”

And then she couldn’t contain herself. Without even thinking, she reached out and smacked him across the face. It was hard enough to make a loud, cracking sound, and the palm of her hand tingled. Tear welled her eyes.

“I am so sorry, Harper,” Daniel said, and he finally looked up at her.

“How long has this been going on?” she asked, ignoring his apology. “When did she proposition you?”

“I don’t know.” He shook his head. “Maybe … two and a half weeks ago.”

“Two and a half weeks?” She looked up at the ceiling to keep the tears from spilling over and laughed cynically. “Holy shit, Daniel.”

“I didn’t know what else to do,” he said.

“You didn’t?” She smiled bitterly and wiped at her eyes. “You were kissing me and holding me and telling me you loved me, and I was telling you all my secrets and you were planning to sleep with someone else? I was here, on your birthday, planning to share myself with you fully, and you’re lying and sneaking around…”

“I know it’s wrong,” he insisted. “Sex with Penn is gross and horrible, but I had to protect you.”

A tear slid down her cheek, and she let it. “No, Daniel. I’m not mad because you planned to sleep with her.” She shook her head. “I mean, I am hurt, and I don’t know if I’d ever really be okay with that. Even knowing that you did it for me, and for my sister.

“But what I’m really mad about is that you didn’t tell me.” She looked him right in the eyes. “I trusted you, Daniel, with everything, with all of me, and you … You didn’t do the same.”

“No, Harper, it wasn’t about trust. I knew that if I told you, you’d try to talk me out of it, and I couldn’t…” He paused, sighing. “I knew that when you found out, this would be over. But I didn’t know how else to keep you safe.”

“That is bullshit, Daniel!” She got up and walked away from him, too angry even to be near him. Pulling the flannel shirt more tightly around her, Harper glared down at him. “You weren’t gonna tell me until after! Were you ever even gonna tell me?”

“I don’t know,” he admitted.

“I can’t believe you.” Harper buried her fingers in her hair, holding her head as she tried to process what he’d just told her. Then she took a deep breath and lowered her arms. “I sat on your couch today, texting you I love you, and you were about to go screw my mortal enemy. And I don’t give a shit how noble or valid your reasons are, you should’ve told me, and you know it.”

Daniel stood up, and she could see the tears in his eyes. “I am so very sorry, Harper.”

“What were you thinking?” she asked, restraining herself from screaming it at him. She wanted to hit him and yell at him and demand to know how he could do this, how he could ruin something that was so amazing and destroy the one thing in her life that was nearly perfect.

“I just had to protect you,” he said simply.

“And how did you protect me? By hurting me in the worst possible way?”

“No, I didn’t…” He shook his head. “I didn’t mean for any of this.”

“All this time, you’ve been pushing to get close to me, and I tried to keep you at arm’s length. But you clawed your way into my life, and you made me fall in love with you, and you promised never to hurt me, and you fought so hard to earn my trust.” She let out a small sob when she realized the horrible truth of what he’d just done. “And now I don’t think I can ever trust you again.”

“You would’ve talked me out of it!” Daniel shouted, as if that would convince her somehow. “What else was I supposed to do?”

“You were supposed to talk to me!” Harper yelled back. “And if it would’ve been so easy for me to talk you out of, then it wasn’t the right thing to do, Daniel! Because if it was the right thing, I would’ve let you do it, even if it hurt.”

With a stricken expression on his face, he said, “I’m sorry.”

“No. Stop. I can’t hear that anymore. I think I’m gonna be sick.” She ran over and grabbed her iPod and book bag from where they sat next to the fireplace. “I have to get out of here.”

“No, Harper, wait.” He moved toward her, like he meant to touch her, and she pulled back away from him.

“I can’t. I can’t talk to you right now. I can’t even look at you.”

“I don’t want to leave things like this.”

She started toward the door, pushing by him. “I don’t care what you want.”

“Harper. I love you,” he said, and she stopped to look back at him.

“I don’t believe you,” she said with tears in her eyes, then she turned away and left.