The oak tree loomed over us, casting a large shadow from the afternoon sun. The sweet summer breeze wafted along the uncut grass, making the delicate petals of the flowering dogwood dance with the violets. Heaven never felt quite as close as when I was on a blanket with Jared by our oak tree, with our names scrawled elegantly in the bark.
Bean had grown for weeks without threat, but Jared and I weren’t fooled into thinking we would live the entire summer without event. We enjoyed the peaceful moments while we still had them, and that afternoon was no different.
Jared was studying Shax’s book. He hunched over the ugly pages, knees up. One hand held the ancient leather apart while the other rested on my stomach. The book seemed out of place in our quiet, beautiful afternoon.
Jared’s phone buzzed. He barely glanced in its direction and continued reading. He did that often when Kim called, resorting to ignoring her instead of repeating his reasons for holding onto the book. I could relate to her misery. Even so, it was easier to look the other way while Jared searched for answers while he could. To admit that to myself made me feel horrible, but it was a necessary evil. The choice to be a better mother than a friend wasn’t really a choice at all.
A motor hummed in the distance. “You should probably get your sneakers on,” Jared said. “Bex is here.”
Bex was bringing firearms today. We would add target practice to our daily sparring session. His motorcycle came to a stop at the edge of my blanket.
I looked up at him. “That blanket is worth more than your bike.”
Bex took off his helmet and snorted. “Negative.”
“Sentimental value,” Jared said, keeping his eyes on the book.
Now fourteen, Bex’s body had filled out. He was an inch taller than Jared, and could have been mistaken for a man in his early twenties. Except for the childlike sweetness that remained in his eyes and his occasional displays of inexperience, I would never believe that he was the same person as the eleven-year-old I had met a few years before. It was disturbing.
I must have looked ridiculous in my black leggings and white t-shirt with Bean balled noticeably in front, crouching and ready in front of what looked like a full-grown man. Bex could have wadded me up like a piece of paper on my best day, and I knew if anyone had witnessed a pregnant woman trading punches with someone twice her size, they would have called the police.
“Bex,” Jared warned without looking up.
Bex’s nose wrinkled, irritated at Jared’s instruction. “I know. The subtle distention of her middle section is a constant reminder not overdo it. I won’t hurt your messianic spawn, Nina.”
I shoved the heel of my hand into Bex’s stomach. He barely paused, but it was still thrilling to me that I landed it. “Someone’s been reading the List of Big Words, again.”
Bex glanced to Jared, and then grabbed me. He twisted me around, more forceful than usual, pulling me into his chest. My neck fit snugly in the crook of his arm. “Okay. Now what?”
I stepped on his foot, jabbed my elbow into his ribs, and then threw my head back. Bex dodged, but had he been human I would have cracked his nose.
“Good,” he said, nodding.
We went over the same old moves dozens of times, and then Bex showed me a few more. They were more offensive than defensive. Bex seemed to enjoy teaching those more, and I certainly enjoyed learning to attack more than I liked repeatedly attempting to free myself from an assailant.
After an hour, Jared brought the bag of firearms over, and then handed me shooting earmuffs and safety glasses. We walked over to a small hill, where Bex set up several targets. He was as excited as I was, but it didn’t occur to me to ask why.
I practiced with a handgun, a rifle, and a shotgun. When Jared and Bex were satisfied with my aim, Bex tied a rope to a branch of the oak tree and hung a large log from it. He unrolled a paper target, and then taped it to the middle of the log. He gave it a shove, and it swayed in a large arc back and forth.
Jared handed me his sidearm. “Less than one percent of your targets will be stationary. You need to learn to hit a moving target.
I lifted the Glock in both of my hand and looked down the sights.
“Anticipation is key,” Jared said.
I watched the log for a moment, and then squeezed the trigger. Bex leapt back with a yowl.
I dropped the gun and covered my mouth. “Oh, God! I’m sorry!”
Jared picked up the gun and tried not to smile. Bex, however, was rolling on the ground, laughing hysterically.
I glared at him. “Not funny, you little worm! I could have given birth right here in the grass!”
Bex immediately sobered, looking to his older brother for confirmation.
Jared laughed. “She’s exaggerating just a little.”
“Again,” I said, holding the gun in front of me once more. After six tries, I sighed with irritation and pulled off the earmuffs, letting them fall to the ground.
“You’re thinking too much,” Bex said. He pulled his gun from the waistline of his jeans and pulled the trigger, never looking away from me. The target had a rip in the center where the bullet made contact.
I blew my bangs from my face. “You can’t anticipate something without thinking about it.”
Bex lifted his gun and pointed it at me, and I mirrored his action. We were at an immediate stand off.
Bex smiled. “Yes, you can.”
Jared palmed my arm and lowered it slowly. “It’s called instinct. It’s in your blood, Nina. You just need to give in to it.”
I looked at the log. “Give in to it,” I repeated, raising my weapon.
Bex shoved the log again.
I shut out everything: the breeze; the birds; the strands of hair that kept sticking to my lip gloss. Everything was frozen, even my inner thoughts. My mind focused on the target, and I was in tune with everything. I could feel the movement of the log, the resistance of the rope as it rubbed against the tree branch, and even the wind speed and how it would affect the path of the bullet. I took in a deep breath and pulled the trigger. Bex grabbed the log and it instantly stopped.
“Nice!” Bex said.
The bullet had landed just a couple of inches above Bex’s. I smiled, and Jared pulled me to his side, kissing my hair.
After that, Bex took the spare tire from under the rear of the Escalade and fastened a target to the center. He walked to the top of a small hill, and I stood halfway down. He let the tire go, and I took several shots as it rolled down the grass to the bottom, falling on its side.
Bex sprinted to the tire and rolled it over, offering a thumbs-up and a smile.
“You did really well today,” Jared said.
I nodded. “I know.”
Jared leaned down and touched each side of my stomach with his hands. “Mommy did good today, didn’t she Bean?” He waited a moment, and then stood. “Everything seems to be okay. Your pulse, Bean’s pulse, blood pressure and breathing are all normal. I don’t think Bean noticed.”
“So we can keep going?”
Jared nodded.
I gestured to the book under his arm. “Did you find anything?”
Jared’s small smile faded. “Feel like a trip to Woonsocket?”
Bex helped us load the Escalade with our belongings, and then waved goodbye, peeling out on his motorcycle to head home to Lillian.
Jared was quiet during the twenty-minute drive north. His eyes were locked forward, missing the incredible summer foliage on each side of the highway. I allowed it to distract me while Jared silently prepared questions for Father Francis. Poring over the same words over and over, not knowing what to look for, had to be frustrating. I reached my hand across the console, and almost instinctually, Jared covered my hand with his.
Still beautiful, he wore the stress and worry of the years since we’d met only in his eyes. He seemed tired, and desperate, but determined.
He squeezed my hand, brought it to his lips, then reached over to rest his hand on my stomach. He seemed to relax, then.
“Maybe…maybe you’re going about this all wrong,” I said.
“I’m all ears.”
“What if you’re reading the wrong book? It’s too late to stop the prophecy. What you’re looking for is a way to get Heaven on our side, right?”
“That’s correct.”
“You aren’t going to find answers about Heaven in a book about Hell.”
Jared eyes flitted about for a moment, considering my idea. He didn’t answer, but he acknowledged my words with a nod. I covered his hand with mine, and let him return to his thoughts.
We passed the rocky wall that welcomed us to Woonsocket, and then made our way to St. Ann’s. Yellow tape surrounded the church. The glass from the once exquisitely stained windows had been removed, and the holes that remained were covered with boards and plastic tarp.
Jared parked, and we climbed the steps. He tugged on one set of doors, but they were locked. He tried two others, but they were locked as well. The tarp blew in the summer breeze, flapping against the building. The town seemed otherwise quiet.
Jared turned and noticed a passerby. “Excuse me,” he said. “Is the church closed?”
The man shrugged. “Father Francis has kept it locked. He hadn’t been actin’ right since the explosion.” He walked away.
An explosion. Shax and his minions all but tore the church to shreds during our most recent showdown, and it left St. Ann’s looking like a war zone. Some construction had taken place, but Woonsocket was no longer the booming industrial hub it used to be. The community that had once pulled together to fund the extravagant adornments of their social center with paintings and stained glass was now preoccupied with a recession and modern priorities.
We walked to a side door, and Jared gave it a light tug. It caught again. “I don’t want to leave without speaking to him, and I don’t want to break in,” he said.
“Call him.”
Just as we stepped away, we heard a familiar voice.
“Wait!” Father Francis called, walking briskly from the back of the church. “I’m here, lad!” He slowed to a stop, trying to control his labored breath. “I’m sorry. I was in the back building, praying. It used to be the school, you know.” His face dropped. “I’m ashamed to say I feel safer there, now.”
Jared cupped the priest’s shoulder. “I understand, Father. Some things you can’t un-see.”
Father Francis nodded, and then gestured for us to follow him inside. We walked behind him, waiting patiently for him to climb the steps into the side door of St. Ann’s.
It was cold and drafty. The wooden pews and marble statues were covered with linens. An eerie feeling dwelled within the walls, and I could see why the priest didn’t want to be alone there.
The faces of the angels and saints in the paintings looked down on us. I couldn’t help but think they seemed sad, waiting for someone to restore their home to its former glory. “Father,” I began, pulling my pocketbook from my purse. “I brought this hardship on you. Let me help.” I scribbled six figures onto a check.
Father Francis’ eyes softened as he took the paper into his hands. “Thank you, my child. We need this more than you know.”
“Father,” Jared said, pulling Shax’s book from under his arm.
The priest’s eyes widened and he immediately looked away, shaking his head. “Oh, no! No, no, no. You mustn’t bring that here!”
A soft ringing in my ears grew infinitesimally louder, sounding more like panicked whispers. I looked around the room, but we were alone. Just us and the hundreds of people in the paintings on the walls and ceilings.
I looked up. In a scene in which God had cast out the rebellious angels, the artist had drawn them in such a way that the angels seemed to be falling out of the painting — out of the ceiling. I looked at another mural at the back of the church, featuring Navy sailors drifting helplessly in a stormy sea, reaching out to St. Mary. In a moment of what had to be confusion, I could hear their panicked cries. I could hear them all, shrieking and wailing at the sight of the book that brought their home down around them.
I squeezed my eyes tight, and gripped my ears. Their cries became so loud I couldn’t hear individual voices, only their frenzied, collective panic.
Jared’s fingers touched my arm. “Nina?”
At once, it all stopped. I opened my eyes and looked around. Insanity was the first thing that popped into my mind.
Father Francis nodded in understanding, however. “It gets too loud for me sometimes, too.”
I peered around to the different faces in the paintings, unsettled.
The priest looked to the book, and then to Jared. “You can’t have that, here.”
“I still need your help, Father.”
“I’ve given all I can give.”
Jared shook his head. “I can’t accept that, I’m sorry.”
Father Francis left for the back of the church. Jared pulled me to follow. We kept a quick pace all the way to his quarters, where he immediately made himself a drink. He threw it back, and then made himself another. His hands were shaking, causing the mouth of the decanter to clink against the rim of his glass.
The priest closed his eyes and lifted his chin, taking in another gulp of the amber liquid with one movement. The glass dropped from his hands, crashing into the floor. Some of the bigger shards made their way to my feet, and I stared at them for a moment.
“Father,” I said, looking up at him. “It’s almost over. I know you’re scared, but we’re taking the book back soon.”
His eyebrows furrowed. “To the Sepulchre?”
“Yes,” I said, reaching out to him. I touched his arm, and he placed a hand on mine.
“You won’t make it,” he said sadly.
Jared shifted in frustration. “Let’s deal with the issue at hand, shall we? I just ask that you sit down with me one last time to try to find another way. Surely our only option isn’t to just wait until the baby is born and hope Heaven steps in.”
The priest shook his head dismissively. “We’ve searched every line. There’s nothing.”
“Just one more time. Please,” Jared said. “Before I take my wife and unborn child to Jerusalem, I have to know I had no other choice.”
Father Francis glanced at the leather-bound pages and sighed. “Very well.” He adjusted his round spectacles, and glanced above him. “Then you must leave, and never bring that thing to the house of the Lord again.”
Jared nodded. “You have my word.”
The priest brought in an extra chair, and he and Jared opened the book. Immediately the room turned cold, and I wrapped my arms around my middle. The others knew we were here, and that we had the book. The element of surprise long gone, Jared didn’t hesitate discussing different passages. When Father Francis would get an idea, the pages would be flipped to one prophecy, prompting Jared to think about something else. The pages would flip the other way. They argued and agreed; each idea led them only to more frustration.
Minutes turned to hours; still they went over each point of the prophecy until it sounded more like chanting than discussion. A strange glow lit up the edges of the windows, and I realized it was the morning sun. We’d spent all night in Woonsocket, and my eyes didn’t even feel heavy.
For the first time, Jared looked up from the book to see me fidgeting in my chair. “Hungry?” He said it as if he’d just remembered I was there.
“Getting there,” I said, resting my chin on my fist.
He threw the book across the room. It hit the wall with great force and hit the ground with a thud. Despite its age, not a page loosened.
I stood and walked to the small kitchen, found a glass and turned on the tap. My body was just starting to feel the beginnings of fatigue, and the tension in the room made me emotionally tired as well. A copy of the King James Bible sat on the counter. The spine was worn to nearly nothing, and the pages hung at an angle; the book so spent it could no longer hold itself square. I flipped open the cover, and then pushed several pages with my fingertips.
“We should get you something to eat,” Jared said.
I turned to the priest. “What does your Bible say about this?”
Father Francis thought for a moment. “Well, it does have its own version of the end days. It talks about the woman with child.”
“I’ve mentioned to Jared that we’re looking in the wrong place. If you can’t find the answers in the Bible of Hell, shouldn’t you look in Heaven’s?”
The priest shrugged. “I suppose so.” He walked over to the counter and picked up the book. “It’s worth a try. A third of the Bible is prophecy.”
I offered Jared my glass, and he took a sip. When he handed it back to me, he kissed my cheek. The two men returned to their chairs, this time opening Heaven’s Bible.
Father Francis flipped the pages. “Let’s start with anything that discusses women with child in the end days.”
Jared nodded, and waited for the priest to find the first passage. They discussed trumpets, and something about seals — I imagined angels opening wax-sealed envelopes the way celebrities do at award shows — and a dragon and a woman with child. I tried to tune that part out, because the sound of it terrified me. But I didn’t have the luxury of putting frightening prophecy to the back of my mind. Because of what I had seen the last two years, I knew prophecies were very real possibilities. My only defense against the instinct to run screaming was simply not to hear. The priest discussed literal and symbolic interpretations, among other things that made my head spin. I wasn’t sure if it was exhaustion, the fact that I was purposely trying not to pay attention, or that their discussion really was simply over my head. At any rate, I was pregnant, tired, and irritable.
“It would be nice if you two wouldn’t talk about me like I’m not here,” I grumbled.
Jared’s eyes turned soft, and he reached for me. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. We’re trying to hurry, but we need to be thorough. This is our last chance.”
“Why is that?” I asked.
“Kim needs to return the book to Jerusalem. I’ve made her wait long enough.”
I nodded. Traveling to Jerusalem had crossed my mind many times. Shax and the rest of his minions would not make it easy for us to return his book to the one place he can’t go. The Sepulchre was above the tomb of Jesus; the creatures of Hell were forbidden. Even infinite, divine patience refused to tolerate desecration of the Sepulchre. The war could start the moment the plane lands, or they could try to keep us from even getting on the plane. We had no idea what would happen. That was the worst part.
Father Francis looked up from the pages. His eyes were unfocused as he slipped deeper into thought. “There is an ancient Jewish apocryphal text called the Fourth Esdras. The archangel Uriel describes many things about the end of days.”
Jared frowned. “I know what you’re about to say, and I know Uriel. Gabriel is the loudest adversary of Hybrids. Uriel is the second.”
“Nevertheless, his prophecy has some merit. He says—”
Jared cut him off. “Father….”
My curiosity and sense of self-preservation outweighed everything else. “Tell me, Father. I want to know.”
Jared sighed, and the priest continued, “He specifically mentions pregnant women in the Fourth Esdras. He says ‘Pregnant women will give birth to monsters.’”
Jared rolled his eyes. “Uriel thinks I’m a monster.”
I hesitated. “What…what kind of monsters?”
The priest glanced at Jared, and then back at me. “He makes many prophecies similar to Revelations. He refers to this as ‘The Beginning of Sorrows’. Jesus also states, ‘Woe to those who are pregnant or nursing babies in those days.’”
“That doesn’t mean anything,” Jared said.
“You need to listen,” I said. “Maybe you’re unable to figure this out because you refuse to hear the truth. Maybe this is out of our hands.”
Jared’s brows pulled in. “Those prophecies state an abundance of Hybrid births. If something like that were happening, we would hear about it. Besides, Bean isn’t a Hybrid.”
Father Francis pushed up his glasses, clearly intrigued. “You know this for a fact?”
“Yes. The only child capable of this kind of reaction from Hell, a child capable of disturbing the Balance, will be more than a Hybrid.”
“Your child isn’t human?”
I wrapped my arms around my stomach, cradling Bean protectively. “You make the baby sound like an abomination.”
“Isn’t it?” Father Francis said.
Jared stood. “No. It’s a child. Our child.” He took my hand and I stood with him.
“Forgive me,” Father Francis said. He stood before us. “I didn’t mean to offend you. We are in strange times — frightening times. I let panic get in the way of my thoughts. I just don’t see how it’s possible.”
“Nina is a descendant of the Nephilim,” Jared said, matter-of-factly.
The priest was confused. “But, this is what you are. Nephilim are children of angels, born of human women.”
Jared shook his head. “I am the son of an Arch. The Nephilim bred the likes of Goliath. Giants not meant to blend in. These angels roamed the earth. They had…rebelled.”
The priest’s eyes grew wide, and I felt mine mirror his. I gripped Jared’s shirt. “What are you saying? That I’m a descendant of demons?”
“That’s not what I said. We’re talking thousands of years ago, Nina. Many things were different back then.”
“Rebellious angels were cast out, Jared.”
Jared cupped my arms. “My mother is a descendant of Celts. They were savages, Nina. They drank the blood of their dead. I don’t personalize it. That’s not what I am.”
“Then why did you leave that part out?” I covered my face with my hands, ashamed to even look at Jared. He was half angel, and I was carrying around the genes of Hell. No wonder our child was so rare. “Did you know that before?” I asked, my eyes filling with tears.
“No.”
My cheeks felt as if they had caught fire. I was hesitant to ask the question that had come to my mind, but I would anyway. I always did, no matter how horrible I thought the answer would be. “Does it change the way you feel about me?”
Jared took my jaws gently into his hands, and he looked straight into my eyes. “Nina, of course not. How could you even think that?”
“Because I don’t know how I feel about me, now.”
Jared put his lips on mine, and then he pulled me to him. It was my father’s last secret, the last thing Jared had tried to keep from hurting me. But, now that it was in the open, everything made perfect sense. I could never quite fit the pieces together until now.
Still, I felt…the only way to describe it was that I felt dirty. After all of that, we were no closer to an answer than when we’d arrived. “Is that what Uriel meant when he said ‘monsters’? What will the baby be?”
“Our baby. Bean will be our baby, nothing more. You know what you need?” he said with a small smile.
“What’s that?” I said, wiping the delicate skin under my eyes.
“The comfort of experience.” Jared tugged on my hand. “Let’s invite Lillian to dinner.”
Father Francis held out his hand. “We’re not finished, are we?”
Jared frowned. “The answers aren’t in those books. I don’t know what else to do.”
“The answer is always in this book,” Father Francis said, holding his Bible in his hands. He held it to his chest. “We’ve just missed something.”
“We haven’t missed anything. I had hoped He would lead you to the answer, Father, but He hasn’t so much as whispered in your ear.”
Jared’s words sent my mind spinning. Had we missed something? Had the answer been in front of us all along? I clicked through each idea and passage of scripture I’d heard them discuss like channels in my mind. I kept coming back to Shax’s book, and returning it to Jerusalem.
“Maybe it’s not in my ear he’s whispering?” The priest said.
Jared waved him away. “Nina’s exhausted and hungry. It’s clouding my thoughts. All I can think about is that damn book and returning it so Shax can’t get to it and we can concentrate on keeping Nina safe.”
“Wait, what?” I said, stunned.
“I have the Jerusalem trip on my mind. I can’t focus on anything else. It’s maddening.”
“He’s whispering,” I said.
Jared raised an eyebrow. “What?”
Father Francis nodded, and hobbled to where we stood. “She’s right.”
I gripped Jared’s shirt. “The Sepulchre. The only place they aren’t allowed to desecrate. The one place the book is safe from Hell’s hands.”
Jared’s eyes lit up like twin fires. “We can keep you safe there.”