Eden

Chapter Five The End

I sat on the beach, listening to the waves. The last time I had come to this island, I pretended to be Mrs. Ryel. Now it was reality. I sighed, and placed my hand on my belly. I wished things could be different; that I was like any other new bride, enjoying the beauty surrounding me on my first day as a wife. Wishing wouldn’t help, and I knew that. Another life would mean the absence of Jared. If we had never met, most of the chaos wouldn’t have happened, and the worst-case scenario would have been to find out my father was a different person than I believed him to be. Apart from that disappointment, life would have continued on — mundane and mediocre. I would have married Ryan, and worked at Titan. Bore a child or three. We would have lived day in and day out with a respect and love, facing day to day challenges of ordinary life.

My nose wrinkled. A life without Jared was unimaginable. Coupled with that stipulation, I didn’t want it. Chaos, a constant state of being on alert and uncertain was a respectable tradeoff for a love like his. He didn’t ask for this, either, after all. The danger was what we went through to be together, and it was worth it for him. He never questioned it, and I grudgingly accepted it. It might not make sense to everyone, but then again, they could never understand. Most hadn’t experienced what I had. I’d been waited for, longed after for years. The safety, security, and calm I felt with Jared were unmatched; no one else on earth made me feel that way. No one was held as sacred by their husband as I was, so they couldn’t fathom what one might endure to protect it. Our love, in all its imperfection, was perfect.

It was then that a moment of clarity came over me. From the moment I’d learned the truth, I had fought with the feeling of loss for a normal life, but without Jared, that life wouldn’t have as much meaning. Sure, I was an individual. I was a strong person. I didn’t need someone else to complete me, but I was happier with Jared than without him. More than happy. Why settle to prove that I was free? I was, with and without him. Being with him was a choice — a choice to love and be loved and exist in an affirmative state with someone. Even with the chaos going on around us, it was more than I could have hoped for. More than most hoped for. His love was the purest example of anything a human could feel for another. The more I weighed the options in my head, the less appealing Normal became. It was downright insulting to compare the two. Suddenly I couldn’t remember why I had missed it in the first place, and scolded myself for ever letting Jared feel that I was anything but grateful for every moment he was in my life.

“How are you feeling, love?” Jared said from behind, bringing a tall glass of ice water.

“As if you have to ask. I feel really good. It seems like every day I feel better and better. Is that normal? Aren’t I supposed to feel sick, or tired, or both?”

“Not necessarily. What is normal when you’re carrying our child?” Jared said, taking a seat beside me.

We watched the surf together. The storm from the night before had raged until the early hours of the morning…and there was a good reason that I knew that for a fact. Jared had kept his promise to take his time. I slept for an hour, maybe two, after the sun breached the horizon before venturing to the beach. The ocean was endless, stretching out until it met the sky. The only way to tell one from the other was the slight difference in shade. I took in a deep breath and leaned against my husband.

“What is it?” Jared said, grazing his lips across a small patch of skin on my forehead.

“It doesn’t matter,” I said closing my eyes. I wanted to focus on the sounds of the waves rushing the beach, and the way the breeze blew my hair forward. If it were possible to block the frightening thoughts from my head, I would have. I wanted to pretend that the truths I had come across in recent years weren’t real. But they were, and inconceivable, nightmarish things waited for us at home. Those thoughts made it difficult to relax and enjoy my honeymoon, even with Jared’s tireless reassurance. I had finally accepted my life for what it was, but that didn’t make it less frightening.

“Look,” Jared said, nodding to a spot up the beach.

Samuel stood at least two hundred yards away, too far away for my human eyes to tell if he was watching us or the ocean.

Jared nuzzled the hair just above my ear. “He has been granted a temporary new post.”

“To babysit us?” I asked. “He must be thrilled.”

Jared chuckled. “Something like that. Hybrids don’t have Archs. Have I ever told you that?”

“No, you didn’t.”

“We don’t. Our job to protect humans, that along with our knowledge and abilities makes having our own guardian angel redundant. Not to mention the curse….”

“But you still need protection, don’t you?” I asked.

Jared thought for a moment. “We are born to protect. I think He sees it as an infinite waste of resources.”

I nodded. “I see.”

Jared’s brows pulled in and he cocked his head a bit. “You seem different today.”

“I do? What’s wrong with me?”

Jared laughed. “Not your general well-being, I mean you. Your behavior. You seem less on edge. Why is that?”

My brows shot up, and I shrugged. “It’s not because I’m not worried, I can promise you that. I have one more year of college, I’ll be taking over Titan soon after…and I’m pregnant. The best part — my personal favorite — I have to be on guard for the next nine months just to stay alive long enough to deliver our baby, and hope the Creator of the Universe decides against his own rules to help us do that.”

“Ten.”

“What?”

“It’s actually ten months. Forty weeks is ten months.”

I frowned. “That doesn’t help.”

Jared stifled a grin. “I was proud of you at the hearing.” When I didn’t reply, Jared explained further, “With Michael. You made a great case. It might have been what kept me out of serious trouble.”

“What might have happened? If Eli had decided against you?”

“The worst punishment would be death.”

“But…,” I began, thinking as I spoke, “you can’t die unless I do.”

“Or if I’m found guilty of disturbing The Balance. Heaven has zero tolerance for both of those things.”

“The baby supposedly disturbs The Balance,” I said, touching my belly.

Jared put his hand on mine. “God didn’t create the baby, Nina, we did. Free will and The Law are on opposite ends of the universe. I could explain it for the rest of your life, and you still wouldn’t understand. Even I don’t fully understand it all. Just know that The Law is a constant, and The Balance is a variable. In our case, it depended on Free Will, and that makes The Balance a whole new beast.”

“My head hurts,” I said.

“I’m sorry. More water?”

I looked down to my glass. It was empty. “I hadn’t even realized I’d touched it.”

Jared moved his hand up my arm, his fingers pressuring different spots. “Your temperature is elevated, but I believe it’s due to the pregnancy.”

I nodded, staring out into the ocean. “Will it ever be over, Jared? Once the baby is born, will we have to keep fighting for every day?”

“No. Heaven will have to decide at some point that enough is enough. They will either save us or let us die. Once that decision is made, we are protected.”

I looked up to the sky. “Why doesn’t He just make it now?” Jared didn’t answer, and it was just as well. I didn’t expect him to. “Jared…,” I hesitated. I didn’t want to ruin our perfect morning. “I think I should continue my training.”

He sighed. “You’re pregnant, Nina.”

“Yes, I know. But, can we both agree that there may come a time when I might have to defend myself…or the baby? I’m not asking you to beat the crap out of me; I’d just like to spend more time with the firearms, and for you to teach me some more complex moves.”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

Jared wrapped his arms around me, resting his chin on my head. “You’re right. We have to be prepared for anything. We’ll start when we get back.”

I smiled. “Thank you.”

He leaned back, and lowered his chin so that I would meet his gaze. “You have to take it easy, though. I mean it.”

“I will. I promise.”

Satisfied, Jared took my glass and returned moments later with a fresh batch of ice floating in the water. I took a sip and sighed, trying my best to relax.

We sat in the morning sun, waiting as it crawled across the sky, hiding every so often behind the errant cloud. Jared and I were wrapped in each other’s arms, enjoying a small moment of peace. Eventually, my stomach began to protest.

I looked down, and then to Jared. “I guess we better find something to eat.”

“I’m surprised you didn’t say anything sooner. You haven’t eaten since yesterday.”

“I’m surprised the baby didn’t say something sooner,” I said, extending my hand to Jared when he stood.

He tugged on my hand. “I can see I’m going to have to take better care of you.”

We made our way to the eating lodge, where just a few other patrons sat at a table across the room. I dove into the fresh fruit bowl on the table, and then eagerly waited for the waiter to arrive.

An hour later, empty or nearly empty plates of Grouper, Callaloo, Conch Fritters and other Caribbean cuisine lay all over our table. For someone that didn’t feel hungry, I couldn’t seem to stop eating.

I mashed the leftover crumbs from the banana bread we requested for dessert with my finger and then licked them off.

“Wow,” Jared said.

“What?” I said.

“You’ve always had a healthy appetite, but this is impressive.” He grinned.

“I suppose so,” I smiled. We both knew finishing the ridiculous amount of food I’d ordered was above and beyond anything I’d accomplished meal-wise before. Our table looked like we’d had a dinner party with ravenous wolves.

“Ready for a nap?” Jared said, laying a large bill on the table.

“Let’s go exploring,” I smiled. “Or snorkeling.”

“Snorkeling? Still not tired?”

“No. I feel amazing,” I grinned. Jared frowned. “What? I’m not supposed to feel amazing?”

“No. To me, you feel tired. You were hungry an hour before your stomach growled. I can’t decide if I’m losing my senses or that your body isn’t responding normally because of Bean. If it’s the latter, I don’t want you overdoing it.”

“Okay, so I’ll take a nap. Or at least rest a while if I can’t fall asleep.”

“Really?”

“Really. Why?”

Jared fidgeted. “It’s just that…you’re rarely this agreeable. I’m beginning to wonder if I’m in an alternate reality.”

“Wow. I’m sorry I’ve been such a pain in the ass. I thought couples are supposed to get along on their honeymoon?”

Jared’s brow rose. “So that’s it? You’re just being affable?”

“No, I trust you. You know my body better than I do, and I don’t want to do anything that could hurt the baby.”

Jared took a deep breath, and blew it out. “It’s good to hear you say that.” When I frowned, he shook his head. “No, I’m serious. Sometimes I wonder.”

“You think I would do something to hurt our baby?”

“No!” Jared said, hugging me and chuckling at the same time. “No, that you trust me.”

“Of course I do,” I said against his chest. “Let’s go to the casita and lay down for a while.”

Jared nodded, and then took my hand. He strolled down the dirt path, and we laughed and joked as we made our way to our whimsically painted tin hut. His eyes were brighter than I’d ever seen them, free of any clouds. When we reached the door, Jared lifted me in his arms and carried me to the bed, carefully lowering me onto my back.

“You know,” he said, brushing my hair away from my face. “I’ve always thought you extraordinarily beautiful, but this way,” he touched my rounding belly, “I can’t stop looking at you. You’re stunning.” His fingers returned to my hairline to sweep my bangs back, and then again, his fingertips gentle and soft against my skin. It felt so good, I could have melted into the bed I was so relaxed, but I wasn’t sleepy.

“You’re not supposed to say that until I’m big as a house and need a little encouragement to be seen in public every day.”

“I can’t wait to see that. I’ve been all over the world, but that will be the most marvelous, beautiful thing I’m ever going to see.”

“Until you see our child,” I noted.

Jared beamed. “I have a lot to look forward to.”

I cupped my fingers behind his ears and pulled him toward me, tasting his lips. “So do I.” I tugged at Jared’s shirt, and pulled it over his head. Jared pressed his warm chest against me, and I sighed. At least that part of our lives could return to normal.

“You should rest,” Jared whispered against my skin.

“I will,” I promised.

Just as I had closed my eyes, they were open. The sun still shined, and Jared sat on the edge of the bed, pulling his T-shirt over his head. He turned to me, puzzled.

“You promised to nap if we—”

“I did,” I yawned. “I slept so good. What time is it? I feel like I’ve slept all day.”

“Nina, it hasn’t even been twenty minutes.”

“You’re joking.”

Jared frowned. “This is disconcerting.”

“Why? I’ve never really been a nap-taker.”

“Yes, but when you do, you’re out for three hours.” Jared leaned down, pressing his ear gently to my stomach. He stayed there for a moment, and then sighed. “Something’s different. I can’t put my finger on it. You’re different.”

“I’m not. I told you I wasn’t sleepy. Let’s go snorkeling. I’m bored.” I stood and picked a bathing suit from the suitcase, and hurried Jared to do the same. I prodded him to the beach, eager to have some fun. We snorkeled, we swam, we splashed each other and explored the farthest corners of the island. At night, we spent time together in the outside shower, and then snuggled in bed. If I hadn’t already been pregnant, by the end of our honeymoon I surely would have been. Jared was insatiable, and it seemed that with every quiet moment, I whispered suggestive things in his ear.

Just like our last visit to Little Corn, the week went by too quickly. Jared noted the familiar sadness in my eyes as I packed.

“We can come back. When you graduate, after the baby is born, we can come back and stay as long as you’d like.”

“I have a company to run, you forget.”

“That will run just fine if you decide to take a leave of absence.”

I shrugged, repeating the tedious cycle of stuffing my wedding dress into the garment bag and then smoothing it out. “Maybe.”

Jared seemed to be out of sorts as well. We didn’t speak much as the hired help stacked our belongings in the truck, and then again in the boat. Jared held me as the boat bounced across the waves to the main island, and relied on small talk as we waited for the plane to depart from Nicaragua. It was like saying goodbye for the last time to an old friend. It felt like loss. This time, there would be no ring to cheer me up, only the ominous thoughts of what might be waiting for us at home.

The fairy tale was over.

Once we were in U.S. airspace, I immediately dialed Beth to see what the situation was at Titan. Sasha worked to make life difficult for everyone, and Grant was more than ready for me to return so he could leave for his own vacation. Just a few weeks of school left, and then summer hours would be enforced.

Ryan was still recovering in the hospital. Beth noted that Claire never left him alone for a moment. Her comment made me think about the times I visited Ryan in the hospital after he was attacked, and I wondered if he had taught her the Logo game. I couldn’t imagine Claire sitting beside his bed giggling and being silly. She was more likely to pout in the corner, trying to ignore his vies for attention and incessant questions. I hoped that I was wrong.

The pilot announced on the overhead speaker that we would make out descent soon. Jared tightened my seat belt and kissed the tender skin in front of my ear, whispering that it would be okay. I didn’t feel particularly nervous about the landing, but I assumed he meant life in Providence. With everything that had happened in Little Corn, it was easy to get lost in that other world, and pretend real life in Rhode Island was just a bad dream. But the bad dream was real, and we were about to live it.

Descending the stairs of the jet, and then walking across the tarmac to the waiting car was eerily similar. The ground was wet from a late-spring thunderstorm; the air was so thick it seemed palpable. Samuel stood a hundred yards away, staying in the background, but allowing us to see him. Jared already knew he was there, so I knew his presence was for me. This time, though, Jared didn’t go to him. He walked with me to the car, and nodded to our driver, Robert, as he held the door.

My cell phone buzzed and I answered. Grant wasted no time updating my schedule, hinting that I should come in right away. An important meeting was scheduled during one of my classes the next day, and he wanted to go over some key points with me to compensate for my absence.

I hung up the phone and sighed. “Maybe I should—”

“You’re already looking forward to several days of makeup work and tests, and don’t forget Finals coming up soon. Grant can handle it.”

I nodded. “You’re right. I’ll meet with him this evening. He has an hour, and then I’ll hit the books.”

Jared shook his head.

“What? What did I say?”

“You. Agreeing with me without a single argument. It’s something I’ll have to get used to.”

I pressed my lips together in a hard line, trying not to smile. I must have been a true nuisance to him. I owed him a nice, long vacation from my stubbornness.

“I can’t believe I’ve been so awful to you. I’m sorry.”

Jared took my hand in his, and turned to face me. “You have not been awful. You’ve had an incredible amount to deal with, and doing things on your terms was important to you. Making choices was the only shred of control you had in this entire, crazy situation. I’ve never begrudged you that. In fact, it’s one of the things I love about you.”

“Regardless, consider it significantly toned down.”

Jared smiled. “You don’t have to apologize for coping. It’s been tough for everyone. It’s been a lot. However, I won’t lie and say I’m not going to enjoy the new attitude.”

I leaned in and kissed the corner of his mouth. “You’re going to see a lot of new from me. I don’t want to be a victim, anymore. I am now an active participant in what happens to me and my family. We’re going to get through this together or not at all.”

Jared beamed. “You amaze me every day.”

“Well, if you’re quite finished being amazed, I need to go into work for a bit. Robert? We’ll need the Escalade.”

Robert glanced at me in the rearview mirror with his wrinkled, kind eyes. “Yes, ma’am.” He made a turn, taking us to our home. That was one thing very different from our last trip to Little Corn. Home was no longer the loft.

The tires crunched across the gravel drive, and Robert slowed the car to a stop next to Jared’s SUV. The door opened, and Robert lent me a hand. “It’s good to have you back, Miss…,” Robert seemed flustered for a moment before speaking again, “I deeply apologize. Mrs. Ryel.”

I smiled. “Just for that, you get a raise, Robert.”

He nodded to Jared, and then popped the trunk, pulling our bags from the back. “I’ll have your things laundered and returned to your room.”

“Thank you, Robert,” Jared said. He grabbed my hand and led me to the Escalade, pulling open the door. He lifted me into his arms and placed me gently in the passenger seat. “Since I don’t have time to carry you across the threshold, I suppose this will have to do.”

I laughed. “It’ll do,” I said, placing each of my hands on his cheeks for a quick kiss.

Providence seemed different. Remnant rain dripped from the trees, the beautiful buildings still loomed over the streets, and the traffic still made walking across the post-storm street a challenge for pedestrians who wished to remain dry. But it was foreign somehow. Providence would always be home, but for now it was a battleground — a place to stand off with those who would harm my child. For the next months until I gave birth, I would walk the streets on guard, in constant suspicion of everyone I came across, and cautious of every dark street. Having no idea when Hell would act, or what they had in store for us, it was important now than ever to be prepared and vigilant. All things considered, I was glad it was on my own turf. My ancestors weren’t just Rhode Islanders. I was Nephilim. We survived King David, the flood, and the yellow fever epidemic of 1797. My husband was half angel. I could stand up to whatever they could throw at me. That was what I would keep telling myself, anyway. No sense in worrying myself to death about it.

“What is that?” Jared said, referring to whatever emotion he was sensing.

I shrugged. “Courage, I think,” I said. “We can do this. I believe in you. I believe in us.”

Jared’s eyes darkened a bit, and he reached over the console to grab my hand. The muscles under his jaws twitched, and his fingers tensed as they intertwined with mine. “I definitely like the new attitude.”