Book of Shadows

CHAPTER 12 What Goes Around

When I got home from church the next day, Bree was sitting on our front steps, looking chilly and pissed.

I'd caught a ride home with Beth the night before because I had a curfew and Bree didn't. But I knew from the pony looks Bree gave me as I hurried from Gil's house that this was coming.

We went inside and up to my room.

"I thought you were my friend," she hissed as soon as the door was shut.

I didn't pretend not to know what she was talking about. "Of course I'm your friend," I said, unbuttoning the dress I had worn to church.

"Then explain last night to me," she said, her dark eyes narrowed. She crossed her arms over her chest and dropped onto the edge of my bed. "You and Cal, in the swimming pool."

I pulled a shirt over my head, then grabbed some socks out of my drawer. "I don't know how to explain it," I said. "I mean, I know you like Cal. I know I'm not competition for you. I didn't do anything. I mean, god, as soon as I could stand up in the water, he put me down." I tugged on my socks and slithered into my oldest, most comfortable jeans, automatically turning them up an inch on the bottoms.

"Well, what was the big coy act about before that? Were you playing hard to get? Were you hoping he would just rip your clothes off?" There was a sneer in her voice that stung, and I felt the first threads of anger rising in me.

"Of course not!" I snapped. "If he had ripped my clothes off, I would have run home screaming and called the cops. Don't be an idiot."

Bree stood up and jabbed her finger at me. "Don't you be an idiot!" she said. I had never seen her like this. "You know I'm in love with him!" Bree said, her face furious."I don't just like him! I love him. And I want him. And I want you to leave him alone!"

"Fine!" I practically yelled. I stood and spread my arms wide. "But I wasn't doing anything, and I can't control what he does! Maybe he's just paying attention to me because he wants me to be a witch." As soon as I said that Bree and I stared at each other. In my heart, I suddenly felt it was true. Bree's brow wrinkled as she thought back through the night before.

"Look," I said more calmly. "I don't know what he's doing, for all I know, he has another girlfriend somewhere, or maybe Raven has already gotten to him. But I do know that I am not coming on to him. That's all I can tell you. And that'll have to be good enough." I pulled my hair over my shoulder and started to braid it with quick, practiced motions.

Bree glared at me for another moment, and then her face crumpled and she sank down on my bed. "Okay," she said, sounding like she was trying not to cry. "You're right. I'm sorry. You weren't doing anything. I was just jealous, that's all." She put her hands over her face and leaned down against my pillows. "When I saw him holding you, I just went crazy. I've never wanted anyone this bad before, and I've been working on him all week, and he doesn't seem to notice me."

I was still angry, but perversely, I also felt sorry for her. "Bree," I said, sitting down in my desk chair. "Cal left his coven behind when he moved, and he's hoping some of us will help him start a new coven. He knows I'm interested in Wicca, and I guess he thinks it's, I don't know, interesting or something that I have such a strong reaction to circles. Maybe he thinks I could be a good witch, and that's what he wants."

Bree looked up, her eyes filled with tears. "Do you really have a strong reaction to circles, or are you just pretending to?" she asked, her voice wobbly.

My eyes almost popped out of my head. "Bree! For God's sake! Why would I pretend that? It's embarrassing and uncomfortable." I shook my head. "It's like you don't even know me or something. But to answer your question," I said tersely, "no, I'm not pretending to have a strong reaction."

Bree covered her face with her hands and started crying. "I'm sorry," she sobbed. "I didn't mean that I know you aren't pretending. I don't know what I'm doing." She stood up and grabbed a tissue from the box, then came over and hugged me. It was hard for me to hug her back, but in the end of course I did. "I'm sorry," she said again, crying against me. "I'm sorry, Morgan."

We stood there with her crying for a few minutes, and I felt like crying myself. Have you ever been afraid to start crying because you weren't sure if you'd be able to stop? That's how I felt. To fight with Bree about anything was horrible. To want Cal and not ever be able to have him made me feel desperate. For my best friend to want the same guy I did was a nightmare. To discover the complicated world of Wicca and feel drawn to it was confusing and almost scary.

Finally Bree's crying quieted, and she disentangled herself from me, wiping her nose and eyes. "I'm so sorry," she whispered. "Do you forgive me?"

I hesitated only a moment, then nodded. I mean, I love Bree. After my family, I love her the best in the world. I sighed, and we moved over to sit on my narrow bed.

"Look," I said. "Last night I didn't want to take off my clothes because—I'm shy. I admit it, okay? I'm a total wuss. You couldn't pay me enough money to stand naked next to you and those other girls."

Bree sniffled and turned to look at me. "What are you talking about?"

"Bree, please," I said. "I know what I look like. I have a mirror. I'm not a total woofer, but I'm not you. I'm not Jenna. I'm not even Mary K."

"You look fine," Bree said, frowning.

I rolled my eyes. "Bree. I'm pretty plain. And surly you've noticed that somehow Nature has forgotten to give me any kind of bazongas."

Bree's dark eyes glanced quickly to my chest, and I crossed my arms.

"No, you're just, you know," Bree said lamely.

"I just am completely and totally flat chested," I said. "So if you think I'm going to go prancing around naked with you, Miss 36C, Jenna, Raven, Beth, and Miss January Sharon Goodflne, you are out of your mind. And in front of guys, people we go to school with! Give me a break! Like I really want Ethan sharp to know what I look like naked. Jesus! No way!"

"Don't take the Lord's name in vain," Mary K. said, poking her head through the bathroom door. "Who were you prancing around naked with?"

"Oh, crap, Mary K.!" I said. "I didn't know you were there!"

She smirked at me. "Obviously. Now, who were you prancing around naked with? Can I go next time? I like my body."

I started laughing and threw a pillow at her. Bree was laughing, too, and I was relieved to see that our fight appeared to be over.

"You are not getting naked anywhere," I said, trying to sound stern. "You're fourteen years old, no matter what Bakker Blackburn thinks."

"Are you dating Bakker?" Bree asked. "I went out with him."

"Really?" said Mary K.

"Oh, that's right," I said. "I forgot."

"We went out a couple of times freshman year," Bree said. She sat up and stretched, arching her back.

"What happened?" Mary K. asked.

"I dumped him," said Bree without remorse. "Ranjit asked me out, and I said yes. Ranjit has the most beautiful eyes."

"Then Ranjit dumped you to go out with Leslie Raines," I said, the whole story coming back to me. "They're still going out."

Bree shrugged. "What goes around comes around." Which, of course, is one of the most basic Wiccan tenets.