Alien Research

CHAPTER 96

BEFORE I COULD DECIDE if it was time for me to admit defeat and call in the National Guard—who were literally waiting inside at the Iwo Jima Memorial, because Mom had insisted on one more concession—a group of kids in their late teens or early twenties shoved through the crowd.

“Get away from them!” one of the boys shouted. “They need us here!” he shouted to someone over his shoulder.

One of the girls shoved between me and Pecker and Gutermuth and stood between us in a protective stance, her back to me. I was officially shocked. By the looks on the men’s faces, so were they.

“Leave these people alone! You can threaten us, but we’re going to make sure they get inside and we’re also going to make sure that none of you do.”

I put my hand on her shoulder and backed her up just a bit. “They’re not above hitting a girl. FYI.”

“I’m not above kicking them in the balls, either.” She smiled at me over her shoulder. “No, you don’t know me, or any of the rest of us. You haven’t saved our lives, unless you count when all of you stopped the alien invasion, and we do. The call went out—you aren’t here alone.”

The kids who’d come with her went behind Pecker and Gutermuth and linked arms. Francine nudged me. “I’m going to join them.” She walked over and linked up. Then she started her speech again, the kids next to her nodding along and chiming in.

I was about to mention that though the effort was sweet and very well-intentioned, eight college students weren’t going to stop this mob. But before I could, more people shoved through the protestors. Most of them were college aged, but certainly not all. I could definitely spot family groups, too. They didn’t say anything, just linked up with the others and started spreading out.

In a rather short time we had a full-on human chain up against the foliage that was the “wall” around Arlington. Once the line was set, the girl who’d been protecting me shouted some orders and she, along with a few more people, created two more chains from the middle of the entrance.

They spread toward the street, then moved as a chain to opposite sides, shoving the protestors out of the way of the cemetery’s entrance. It was like watching a non-uniform marching band. And yet there was no way these people had practiced—it was clear that most of them didn’t know each other.

Pecker and Gutermuth had managed to avoid the human chain, however, and were blocking the entrance.

I was sure Len was ready to run them down, not that I could blame him. However, that wasn’t what the good guys did. I went to the two men. “I’ll give you a choice. You can move and let all our cars through without issue, or I’ll make you move. The former will allow you some dignity—but I promise that the latter won’t.”

“We will never move for the likes of you,” Pecker bellowed.

“Aliens are beneath us,” Gutermuth chimed in. “We will never do as you ask.”

“Okey dokey. The No Dignity For You option it is.”

One of the many things I’d been practicing was talking to the Poofs and Peregrines in my head. I was getting really damned good at it. And I knew I had all of our Poofs on board because Fuzzball was in Michael’s coffin.

So I sent out a request. A rather simple one, all things considered. And, happily, results were immediate.

All the clothing Pecker and Gutermuth were wearing disappeared from their bodies.

They gaped at me. “Wow, you’re not aptly named at all, really, are you?” I said to Pecker. “Well, other than in terms of personality. And you, sir,” I said to Gutermuth, “should perhaps consider cutting back on the donuts. Spanx can only do so much, after all. And while imperfections are what make the rest of us fun and interesting, in someone as self-righteous as you are, I think it’s only right to demand perfect physical fitness to match your perfect morality and all.”

Pecker and Gutermuth tried to cover up and back up into the cemetery, but some of the kids noticed this and the human chain moved fast and blocked them. Meaning everyone could now see both of these dudes standing there butt naked.

While the kids nearest to us started to laugh, the protestors who could see this screamed in horror.

“See how God punishes the wicked?” a voice boomed over the crowd. Not a troubadour’s voice, but Oliver’s. He had a video camera trained on the scene. “God has exposed them for the charlatans they are! All who follow men such as this are more evil than any other sinner!”

Many of the protestors ran off. Some dropped their signs. Some were laughing. Soon the entire human chain was laughing, so it became hard to tell who wasn’t. The press took the opportunity to start snapping pictures and rolling video. Those who weren’t doubled over laughing, that is.

Oliver joined me as the rest of the press blocked Pecker and Gutermuth from running off. “Nice choice, Ambassador.”

“Thanks. Figured the nonviolent option would be best. Great use of drama on your part, too, MJO.”

“Thank you, I wanted to ensure the dramatic. Seeing as I have a direct feed to the major news channels because I was in the car with you and the Congressman, this should be on every news outlet worldwide within the hour, if not sooner.”

“You rock. Speaking of my husband, though, how did you keep Jeff in the car?”

“There are two large Poofs inside who shared that we all needed to remain seated with our arms and legs inside the vehicle. Once you had our friends here undressed they allowed me out.”

“Ah, good thinking on the Poofs’ parts. Think we can get the press to move the sideshow off a bit so the cars can get through?”

“I do.” Oliver joined the press mob and spoke to a few of the reporters and camera operators. They started to move toward the side, still not allowing Pecker or Gutermuth to escape.

I waved the limo on, but the door opened and Jeff, Chuckie, and Raj got out. The limo remained stationary. “Why aren’t you going in?”

Jeff took my hand. “We can let the President wait a little while. There’s something more important we need to do.” He walked us to where Francine and the first set of kids to arrive were. “Thank you. For proving that we’re still here for the right reasons.”

He shook each kid’s hand and said the same to each of them. Looked around. Chuckie and Raj were doing the same with the other side of the line.

As I detached from Jeff and followed suit, more of the Diplomatic Mission got out of the limos and did the same, some zipping off via hyperspeed to catch the other sides of the cemetery.

We thanked everyone, even people I was fairly sure had been holding signs not too long ago. But most of the protestors had disappeared or joined the human chain, and that was what the goal had been anyway.

Troubadours advised that the Embassy staff had shaken paws with every single person holding the line and Raj got the rest of us advised and herded back to our cars. Everyone returned to their limos, other than the troubadours, who were going to remain with their new friends on the human chain.

Before I got into my limo I went back to the first kids who were with Francine. “You said a call had gone out. What call?”

The girl who’d shoved between me and the two men threatening me grinned. “Over the Internet. The call’s gone out before, but not quite like this. I think it was a hack. We all got the same message—that the haters were protesting this funeral and that decent people needed to show what they stood for.”

Made a mental note to ensure we did something nice for Hacker International. And probably Oliver, too, since I figured he’d been in on this with them. “What’s your name?”

“Katherine. My friends call me Kathy.”

I laughed. “What’s your major?”

She grinned. “Criminal Justice. But I’m going to get a law degree after I graduate.”

“Why am I not surprised?” Sent another mental message and a business card was in my hand. I gave it to her. “When you’re out of school, call me. I guarantee we’ll find a job for you.” There were more cards in my hand. “And your friends, too.” Hey, the kids were all Poof Approved.

“Wow, thank you,” Kathy said. “You don’t have to do that.”

“Yeah, actually, I do.” I smiled as I gave the other kids who’d been with her my card. “I’m the Head of Recruitment for a reason, kiddo.”