Alien Research

CHAPTER 99

I TURNED TO LEAVE THE PODIUM. As I did, someone on the stage started clapping.

I looked over to see my Uncle Mort standing and applauding. The flyboys broke attention and joined him, and then the rest of the people on the stage followed suit, the President included. Mom and Dad were both applauding and I was relieved to see they looked proud as opposed to embarrassed or horrified.

The President getting to his feet ensured I got a standing O on the way down. Prayed I wouldn’t trip, but before I really had to worry about it Jeff came over and helped me down.

Since everyone was standing, the pallbearers went back into action. Well, Brian and the flyboys did. Uncle Mort and Colonel Franklin took Reader and Gower’s places, which, based on how Gower was doing, was preferable.

They took the casket down and out as they’d come in. Once they were through the exit, the motorcycle cops started ushering the attendees out, and in not too long it was just the press, the people on the stage, and us left.

Press was ushered out, then American Centaurion, since the Secret Service wanted to take the President and the other dignitaries out last.

Tim took my elbow. “Got a text from your friends on the police force while you were orating,” he said quietly. “Somehow two sets of men’s clothing appeared on the head of the Bomb Squad’s desk. He had them searched and there was a detonator in a pocket. The area around Arlington’s being searched right now—bombs have been found, but none have been detonated.”

“How did they know to come to Arlington to search?” Jeff asked.

“The pocket with the detonator also held Farley Pecker’s wallet.”

“Interesting. I assume Gutermuth gave it to him, or even slipped it into his pocket.” Good to see the Poofs had totally been on the job.

“The K-9 squad was called because of their close association with us. Officer Melville suggested that Harvey Gutermuth was probably involved. Both men have been found and taken in. Melville said he’d keep me posted.”

“Hope they gave them some jumpsuits to wear. Ugly orange ones for preference.”

“We can hope,” Jeff said. “But I never count on that these days, baby.”

“The cops feel your pain, Jeff,” Tim said. “Believe me.”

Once we were at the gravesite, Gower seemed back under control. He gave a lovely eulogy for Michael, presumably the one he’d planned to give earlier. He also mentioned Naomi and Gladys, saying that Michael’s grave would be their memorial as well.

Pierre had brought in dozens of roses, and everyone had one. I took two. As they left, each attendee put a rose onto the coffin. Amy and I went with Caroline. Amy put her rose on without a word.

Caroline stepped up and put her rose on the casket. “Goodbye, Michael. I miss you so much already and I know I’m going to miss you so much more as time goes by.”

I hugged her as she started to cry. “Cry all you need, Caro.”

But she got herself under control and nodded to me. “I’m okay. Well, as okay as I can be right now. Your turn.”

I put both my roses on top of the others. “Michael, be sure you keep all the girls in heaven feeling attractive. I know you’re up to it. And Fuzzball, you keep on taking care of him like the good Poof you are.”

We moved off so the rest of the family could do the same. As Mom had expected, Nathalie Brewer and Vance Beaumont both came over to express condolences and hug me. Guy Gadoire was with Vance, of course, and did the same. Lillian Culver and Abner Schnekedy were also along but they had the grace to not try to hug me.

Sooner than I’d have expected we were done, and the drivers went to get the limos. Per Raj the troubadours had gone back to the Embassy once the bomb squad had come to investigate and they knew the bombs had been found.

Pierre had an after-funeral buffet set up in the Embassy complex, and all our people and our closer political friends were there. The children were with us now, too, and it was nice to get to carry Jamie around and cuddle her without worrying about what we were going to do next.

Miraculously, for a party we were throwing, no one died. Figured we’d had enough death already and the cosmos had chosen to cut us a break.

The nice thing about parties that take place after a funeral is that the majority don’t linger. Even so, by the time we’d gotten everyone out of the Embassy, and then swept for bombs, bugs, and other unsavory things at least three times, it was fairly late.

After we made sure all those sleeping over were tucked away, Mom, Dad, Jeff, Jamie, and I headed upstairs. Once Jamie was in bed and snoozing with all the pets, Mom and Dad hugged and kissed us good night and went to their guest room.

Jeff and I got undressed. “You did great today, baby,” Jeff said as I gathered up our clothes. “I didn’t want to say too much out in public, in case someone would try to use it against us, but you were amazing.”

“Thanks. I just didn’t want to see Paul have to suffer through something he wasn’t emotionally ready to deal with.”

“You were exactly what our Head Diplomat is supposed to be.” Jeff kissed me. “And I’m incredibly proud of you.”

“I’m always proud of you, so I’m glad I made you proud of me, too.” Feeling quite good all things considered, I trotted into the closet, went to the hamper, and tossed our clothes in. “Thank you,” I said quietly.

Algar appeared sitting cross-legged on the hamper. “For what?”

“For whatever.”

He shook his head. “I didn’t do anything. You came up with that speech all by yourself.”

“Yeah, well more went on than that.”

He shrugged. “Everyone who arrived to help you truly went of their own free will.”

“The Poofs did a good job.”

“Again, it was their choice.”

“You’re worried I’m going to worship the Great God Algar and bring the people hunting for you. You can relax—I don’t think you’re a god.”

“You insinuated you did during your run-in with the people exercising the worst kind of free will.”

My turn to shrug. “You’re pretty amazing, but I know you’re not a god. And you know me, I’ll say whatever I need to.”

He smiled. “I know. Would you like to know the weather forecast?”

This was a new one. “Sure?”

“Quiet, with a strong side of regrouping. I know you don’t feel like you were successful, but you’ve hurt your enemy far more than you know. You’ll have some breathing room. Not a lot, but more than you’re used to. So use it wisely.”

“I was thinking I’d use it to celebrate life and have lots of sex with my husband. Like my King of the Elves likes to recommend. You know, in between all the dedicated work stuff I’m sure you’re actually talking about us doing.”

Algar laughed and disappeared. In his place was Jeff’s fedora.

“What did you say?” Jeff asked as he came into the closet.

I picked up the fedora. “You know, it’s been a while since you’ve worn this.”

Jeff grinned, took the hat from me, flipped it onto his head, and picked me up. “Then let’s rectify that right away, Ambassador.”

“Oh, Congressman Martini, I love how you think.”