Zero history

65. LEOPARD SKIN IN MINIATURE

She stood on Cabinet’s steps, looking at unexpected lights, beyond trees, in the privacy of Portman Square, Robert hovering watchfully behind her, after the tall Slow Foods van pulled away, driven by a young blonde with a cap worryingly like Foley’s.

Sounds of tennis. There was a court in there. Someone had decided to play a night game. She thought the court would be too wet.

When she went back in, Inchmale and Heidi were in the lobby, Inchmale strapping himself into his Japanese Gore-Tex. “We’re going to the studio to listen to some mixes. Come with us.”

“Thanks, but I’m needed.”

“Either offer stands, Tucson or Hampstead. You could stay with Angelina.”

“I appreciate it, Reg. I do.”

“Quietly stubborn,” he said, then looked at Heidi. “Beats violently obstreperous.” Back to her. “Consistent, anyway. Keep in touch.”

“I will.” She headed for the elevator. For the ferret, in its vitrine. Silently offering prayer: that Garreth’s scheme, whatever it was, be as ferrety as it needed to be, or that whatever had happened to this particular ferret, to earn it its timeless somnambulistic residence here, not happen to Garreth, to Milgrim, or to anyone else she cared for.

Its teeth looked bigger, though she knew that couldn’t be possible. She pressed the button, heard distant clanks from above, sounds from the Tesla machinery.

She hadn’t been aware of caring for Milgrim, really, until it became apparent that Bigend would so easily feed him to Foley and company, if that meant getting Bobby Chombo back. And it wouldn’t be Chombo Bigend needed, she knew, but something Chombo knew, or knew how to do. That was what bothered her, that and the fact of Milgrim having been reborn, or perhaps born, on a whim of Bigend’s, simply to see whether or not it was possible. To do that, and then to trade the resulting person, possibly to trade his life, for something you wanted, no matter how badly, was wrong.

When the lift arrived, she hauled the gate aside, opened the door, stepped in. Ascended.

On her way through the corridors to Number Four, she noticed that one of the landscapes now contained two follies, identical, one further back, on a distant hillside. Surely it had always been there, the second folly, unnoticed. She’d give it no further thought, she decided firmly.

She knocked, in case Garreth and Pep were still deep into stays. “It’s me.”

“Come in,” he called.

He was propped up in the Piblokto Madness bed, the black bandage of the cold-pumping machine around his leg again, the black laptop open on his stomach, headset on.

“Busy?”

“No. Just got off a call with Big End.” He looked tired.

“How was that?”

“He’s had the call. Gracie. They wanted Milgrim tonight.”

“You aren’t ready, are you?”

“No, but I knew I wouldn’t be. I’d rehearsed it with him. Milgrim’s done a runner, he told them, but it’s fortunately now been sorted. Going to collect him. Careful not to say where, exactly, but still in the U.K. In case Gracie has a way of checking U.S. passport movement. I think it went well, but your Big End…” He shook his head.

“What?”

“There’s something he wants. Needs. But that’s not it, exactly… It feels to me like he’s been winning, forever, and now, suddenly, there’s a chance he might lose, really lose. If he can’t get Chombo back, in working condition. And that makes Big End really very dangerous.” He looked at her.

“What do you think he might do?”

“Anything. Literally. To get Chombo back. I’ve never done this before.”

“Done what?”

“Exploit on behalf of a client. Concerned I’ve drawn the client from hell.”

She sat on the edge of the bed, put her hand on the leg that was like they both had been, before Dubai.

“The old man says he’s got a very peculiar smell about him now, Big End. Says it’s different, recently, stronger. Can’t get a handle on it.”

“Reg says the same. He’s been hearing it from his wife, who’s in public relations here. Says it’s like dogs before an earthquake. They don’t know what it is, but it’s him, somehow. But I’m worried about you. You look exhausted.” He did, now. The lines deeper in his cheeks. “Those five neurosurgeons didn’t expect you to be doing this, did they?”

He pointed at the sweating black wrap. “Frank’s chilling. You should too.”

“I’d say I wish I hadn’t called you, but it would be a lie. But I’m worried about you. Not just Frank.” She touched his face. “Sorry I left like that.”

He kissed her hand. Smiled. “I was glad you did. Didn’t like the way Pep was looking at you.”

“Neither did I. Didn’t like Pep.”

“Did me a good one in the Barrio Gotico once, Pep. Saved my bacon. Didn’t have to.”

“Pep is good, then.”

“I wouldn’t go that far. But if it has wheels and locked doors, he can open it faster than the owner ever did, and close and lock it as quickly. How’s my grocery van?”

“Upscale vegan. Shiny new.”

“Rental through a specialist agency in Shepperton, vehicles for film and television. Slow Foods haven’t taken delivery yet. Happy to let it for an art shoot, for a very handsome hourly fee.”

There was something on the bedside table. Part of the fuselage of a model plane: curved, streamlined, its upper surface yellow, dotted with brown. She bent for a closer look, saw a miniature leopard print, on plastic.

“Don’t touch. Stings.”

“What is it?”

“Taser.”

“A Taser?”

“Heidi’s. Brought it from Los Angeles by accident, in her bag of Airfix parts. Swept it blindly up with her model-building bumf, when she was well pissed.”

“TSA didn’t notice it?”

“I hate to break this to you,” he said, feigning grave seriousness, “but that’s actually been known to happen. TSA not noticing the odd thing. Shocking, I know…”

“But where would she even get it?”

“America? But contrary to the saying, what happens in Vegas evidently doesn’t always stay there. Someone in Las Vegas gave this to her husband. As a present for her, actually. Hence the leopard print. Lady’s model, you see. TSA didn’t spot it, Her Majesty’s Customs didn’t, but Ajay certainly did, this morning. She had no idea she had it. Packed it by mistake when drunk. Which is no defense, but has been known to get the odd thing handily across a border, now and again.”

“What do you want with it?”

“Not sure yet. ‘Follow the accident. Fear the set plan.’ ”

“I thought you loved plans.”

“Love planning. That’s different. But the right bit of improv makes the piece.”

“It shocks people?”

“Capacitor inside, enough juice to knock you on your handsome. Two barbed darts, from that, on fifteen feet of fine insulated cable. Propelled by captive gas.”

“Horrible.”

“Prefer it to being shot, any evening at all. Not that it’s nice.” He leaned over, picked the thing up, sat back against the pillows. Held it up between thumb and forefinger.

“Put it down. I don’t like it. I think you need to sleep.”

“Milgrim’s on his way. And a makeup artist hairdresser person. We’re getting together with Ajay. Makeover party.”

“Makeover?”

“Whiteface.” He flew the Taser behind the screen of his laptop. Up again. Pause at apogee. “We don’t want to leave Milgrim in Big End’s hands, once this starts.” He looked at her. “We want him with us, regardless of what Big End wants. I’ll need something for him to do, some excuse for keeping him with us.”

“Why?”

“If my scheme should fuck up, as you say in your country, and that’s always a possibility, your man will very badly want to pass Milgrim to Gracie, posthaste. Very badly. Excuses for our behavior. Impossibility of getting decent help these days. But here’s Milgrim, so we’ll take Chombo, thank you, and sorry again for the trouble. Or if Gracie should fuck up, for that matter…” The Taser swept down slowly, over the keyboard, in a silent strafing run.

“Fuck up how?”

“My little op’s bodged together with off-the-shelf parts. Basically I’ve had to build it as though Gracie’s going to play nice, do the prisoner exchange, then take Milgrim off for a nice waterboarding or toe-subtraction-”

“Don’t say that!”

“Sorry. But that would be playing by the rules as far as Big End is concerned. We know that nobody’s getting Milgrim, but Gracie doesn’t, yet. If things go according to my play, Gracie and company will have sufficient weight on them to not bother anyone. But if Gracie should decide not to play by the rules, I haven’t much in the way of extra fun to throw at him.” He held the Taser up again, squinted. “Wish she’d brought a few more, actually.”